Catfish

Catfish (2010)

When one thinks of all the great movies within the "psychological thriller documentary" genre, not many movies come to mind. In fact no movies come to mind. This is one of those things that perhaps in a few days it'll suddenly come to me that I forgot one but at the moment there are no movies in this category. Except for the new documentary "Catfish".

We all know that the internet is a place where fiction and reality can be hard to discern. It's a hard and fast rule for instance that the attractive lady you're chatting to in chat rooms is really an overweight 40-year-old man who works as a part-time accountant. But can you be sure either way? And wouldn't you like to find out the stark naked truth (NOT LITERALLY)? This is "Catfish".

"Catfish" is a low-budget indie documentary that only recently came out on DVD and (I assume) if anyone is to find out about it, it will only be via word of mouth. In it a 24-year-old photographer from New York strikes up a friendship with a family in the Midwest over facebook. Through social networking, email, pictures, texts, videos and phone conversations he starts a relationship with the 19-year-old oldest sister and things progress steadily from there. As the relationship starts to get more serious, a series of strange clues cause him to begin to question whether he's actually interacting with a real person. And if he wasn't talking to a real person, what is the alternative possibility? Hoping to finally uncover the truth he decides on an impromptu visit and finds that the reality of the situation is beyond strange.

Obviously, getting at the truth is exactly the point of the movie and I won't spoil anything here. I only suggest that the building mystery is as fascinating as any mystery/fictional movie you're bound to see and the slow descent into the fictional (real) world is absolutely creepy. In fact the creepiness combined with the low-budget one-camera style at one point brought up memories of "The Blair Witch Project". Except this documentary is real (I think) and truth is stranger than fiction. Definitely recommended.

Oh yeah, and don't read or watch anything about the movie beforehand because, like "The Sixth Sense", a large part of the interest of the movie is finding out how it ends. That is, don't read anything about it starting now.

Beavis and Butthead In 2011

Beavis and Butthead are coming back for a new season of shows to air on MTV this Summer. Yes, you read that sentence correctly.

Not much else is known about the show other than that Mike Judge will still do the voices, the two protagonists will still be in high school, it will still be on MTV and they'll be mocking current music videos. It's unclear how the music video data will actually be pushed through the MTV channel system but sources in the scientific community assure me that the technology exists.

This article about the comeback was written in July of 2010. How am I only hearing about this now?!

SNL - Dana Carvey

This week was a special event for Saturday Night Live. The guest host was Dana Carvey. The show saw the return of "Church Chat" and special cameos by Mike Meyers and John Lovitz.

Oh yeah and a little something called THIS:

Also, this one isn't so much funny as I just like this song and wish to buy the record album.

And I thought this was pretty funny too.

It was nice to see him back and it was one of the better episodes of the past few years. You can watch the full show here.

Super Bowl of Serenity

After a week of contemplation, trying to figure out how to fill my Super Bowl hours, I finally settled upon the idea of a "Joy of Painting" with Bob Ross marathon.

Using the power of the internet I was able to get a multitude of episodes and at 30 minutes each it was enough to cover the 8 hour (or whatever) span of overpriced commercials ("The Super Bowl"). The show was on the air for 30 years so there are A TON of episodes to choose from. I tried to sample one episode in each season across different seasons but even with that I didn't even get to Season 10.

And what a Super Bowl it was... there were almighty mountains, happy little trees, little rascal squirrels, clouds who had other cloud friends, trees that were sons of guns, bravery tests and plenty of happy accidents.

Some of the episodes were pretty unusual. One had a predominantly purple motif which I enjoyed and in another episode a woman came on and taught us how to paint saw blades. Turns out it's exactly the same as painting on a canvas... except on a saw blade. That's one of the great things about painting; it's your own little world. When you buy your first tube of paint, you get your Artist's License which allows you to do anything you want within the boundaries of your painting.

The whole experience added up to ultra-relaxation. It wasn't the most exciting Super Bowl ever, it was the most peaceful. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME CONTEMPLATIVE RELAXATION?! Yes.

Super Bowl of Avoidance

It occurred to me as I watched the Pro Bowl today that this will be my last chance to see the NFL until next season. This made me sad for two reasons. 1) Nothing that happens in the Pro Bowl can really be described as "football" and 2) due to the current collective bargaining agreement, the wait will probably be longer than "next season". "Next season" will start at least a month late (my estimate) if there's even a season at all.

"But what about the Super Bowl?!", you say, quite harshly. A little too harshly, frankly. If I'm going to write a blog, I really don't need that level of sass and I'm not going to take it. Well, to answer the question, the Super Bowl annoys me. It barely has any more to do with football than the Pro Bowl does. Between the people watching just for the commercials, the halftime show where 'NSync does half a song with Aerosmith, the indifferent crowd and the fact that the public at large watches just because everyone else is, I couldn't care less. If my team were in the game, I'd watch and I'd watch harder than anyone else but until that happens, it's banned.

The question now is how to fill my time. I'd like to do something that stands out so that it can be remembered fondly in the future. Past Super Bowls I've:

• Watched "Follow That Bird"
• Watched "Puppy Bowl I" (play-by-play by Harry Kalas) (the winner was all of us)
• Watched "Muppet Treasure Island"

And even though I had a blog during last years game, I don't remember what I did. If I had to guess, I think I was watching a movie of some sort.

So what to do this year? Not sure. It's something to think about this week. The only rules are that it has to be something slightly off the beaten path (or simply ridiculous) and has to be as "opposite" of the Super Bowl as possible. A couple of the frontrunners so far:

Storage Wars Marathon

Watch "Wayne and Garth's Music A-Go-Go" (if I can get it in time)

Read

Watch "Trading Spaces" (I'd have to find that as well)

8-bit Nintendo Night

That's really all I have so far but I have a week to think about it. I'm sure I'll figure something out. Suggestions welcome.

The good news is this: two weeks until aces and catchers.

Wax Conan Revisited

Conan visits his wax figure made by Madame Tussaud's about a year ago.

This is great because Conan goes in with no material to work with but still improvises a full 6 minute bit. He is to comedy as B.A. Baracus is to machines.

No sign of Wax Tom Cruise and Wax Fonzie.

Letterman-Postian Recursion

Letterman defended Ricky Gervais' performance hosting the Golden Globes on his show.

You can watch the video here.

The New York Post had printed a story about how the performance was so controversial. Letterman held up the story and said Gervais did a fantastic job, reading some of Ricky's jokes from the article. He then predicted that tomorrow's Post would have a story about what he had just done and print a picture of him holding up the Post. The next day he was proven correct as The New York Post did print a picture of Dave holding up the Post. So he held up the Post article which contained the picture of him holding the Post to see if they would publish a picture of that in the next day's edition.

He says his goal is to eventually get a photo printed in the newspaper that represents infinity.

MECHANT!

I'm a big Smerch fan so it was nice to see him on Late Night. He talks about "An Idiot Abroad", "The Ricky Gervais Show", the Golden Globes and even touches on his XFM (radio) days.

[Broken Video Removed]

His walk on music was "6 Foot 7 Foot 8 Foot Bunch" which goes, uh, "Six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch" (so it's not just a clever name). Steve is 6 foot, 7. My prediction for the walk-on music was "Black or White" by Michael Jackson.

Pros and Cons or Something

"Pros and Cons" is a regular feature on Late Night but it's usually kind of a waste of time. "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" is supposed to be about being weird and different. But "Pros and Cons" is the one piece they do that's no different from a million different comedy bits done by a million different talk shows throughout history.

But this one rises above that, due mainly to the amount of derailment and improvisation about the "Old Timey" days of radio and myspace. And also the reference to "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

Regis Retires; Drinking with Betty White

Earlier in the day, Regis Philbin announced he was leaving his show. So Dave calls him to check in:

And later Dave interviews Betty White. Always interesting to hear about the early days of television, etc.

There's always something interesting happening at the Late Show but it's hard to blog about it because the uploaded videos available don't begin to cover them all. Then, when a video is created, it's edited to almost nothing (as seen above). Hopefully two videos almost adds up to one good one.

Tom Tom Club

Tom Tom Club perform their hit "Genius of Love" on Late Night, or as I call it "THE CATCHIEST SONG EVER". The band is a few years older and they've added a pointless DJ but the song holds up pretty well and it's good to hear it again.

James Brown? James Brown. James Brrroooown? JAMES BROWN!

Conan The Comic Book Guy (Continued)

In a previous post we learned that Conan had visited Warner Brothers animation studios to make his own comic book character (The Flaming C). Now the character has shown up in an unexpected place.

My favorite part is the steaming oven mit. I'm also surprised that a show for kids (I assume it's for kids) is allowed to have a character with a pot leaf belt buckle and fish net stockings.

Classic Roots Choice #25

When Patton Oswalt was on the show last Friday his walk on music was a strange, slowed down version of "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" with a certain evil overtone.

This was a reference to one of Oswalt's standup bits:

Listen to the actual slowed-audio version of the song here.

It's kind of a strange convention to make chipmunks have extremely high-pitched voices. There's no evidence for it as they don't speak English. Or if you say that they would have higher pitched voices because they're smaller animals then we need to adjust a whole host of animal cartoon characters.

Ricky Gervais Show Season 2 Premieres; Is Free; Is On My Blog

The second season of the Ricky Gervais show premiered today. And not only that, it's viewable from hbo.com. And not only that, it's free.

Ricky Gervais Show 2-01:

[Broken Video Removed]

Ep. 14: Clive Warren - Full Episode

And not only that, it's the show where Karl pitches his idea for a new movie starring Clive Warren and Rebecca De Mornay. It's one of the maddest ideas for a movie ever but I kind of get the suspicion that it'll be made some day. After all, Karl pitched the idea that humans should age backwards and they made "Benjamin Button".

I'm not sure of the business model - no commercials, available for free - but I'll take it. Perhaps this is only for the season premiere.

WEETABIX!

Oregon 80s Power Ballad

In the world of college football there are many fight songs. But until now there have not been any 80's power ballads.... until now. Oh yeah, I already said that.

The A-Team

The A-Team (2010)

Pictured: The coolest toy ever.

I'll tell you something interesting about "The A-Team" (movie): it isn't terrible.

Going into it, I had heard nothing but bad things about how bad it is at badness. This, combined with the fact that I despise the current trend of making horrible remakes of things I like (see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", "Transformers", "Transformers 2", "G.I. Joe" and so forth), meant that I had no hope for this remake of "The A-Team" TV series from the '80s. Still, my love for that series made me curious about the movie and kept me curious until I felt I should at least see it once.

The main criticism I heard was that it was ridiculous, mindless action that was both ridiculous and mindless. And there's no doubt that was right. I won't get into spoilers of specific actions/scenes/scenarios but I will say that calling it "unrealistic" is an insult to unrealism. If you think about the physics or logistics of this movie - or simply try to place the events somewhere within the space-time continuum in which the rest of us live - for any more than a few seconds, you WILL suffer an aneurysm and probably suffer brainexplosia. This movie takes believability and melts it with underwater fireworks and chocolate sauce.

However (and this is a hard "however" to face), it is most enjoyable. I never go for mindless action and I usually hate when other do, but in this case I do have to say that for me, believability and enjoyment were not on a line extending in opposite directions, but were rather on a circle continuum. In one direction, a movie gets more and more unreal and less enjoyable but then there comes a point where the movie gets SO unreal that it's laughable and fun. This movie is that event. The situations are SO ridiculous and SO over the top that I just chuckled and enjoyed the ride - I think you have to. And - let's be fair - we can't argue that the original A-Team didn't require a certain well-proportioned level of disbelief suspension.

It might be said that my opinion is skewed because I'm probably a pushover for all things A-Team... well, I guess that's a crime I DID commit. But how can you not be? If you got the A-Team theme blasting as the A-Team characters fire guns from a helicopter while being chased by the bad guys and BA is yelling at Murdock and it's all displayed on the big screen, what's not to like?!

And I know there's only one real BA and only one real Face, etc. and it is true... But the actors are good in this "re-imagining". The closest parallel is the new "Star Trek" movie. There are new actors playing iconic roles that are defined by the original actors but somehow it's not offensive, and actually is kinda fun.

In the end, is it Shakespeare? No. Is it smart? Not really. But it IS fun and if you're looking for some escapist entertainment for an hour, it's perfect. And it's The A-Team.

Trivia: Watch for two Phillies shirts worn by Face in the movie. Actor Bradley Cooper is a Philadelphia native. Be sure also to keep watching until after the credits are over.

Trivia Continued: Within the "A-Team" movie, there is an "A-Team" movie... (yeah). The first listed credit of this movie is Reginald Barclay. Reginald Barclay is Dwight Schultz (the original Murdock)'s character's name in "Star Trek: The Next Generation".

Personal Addendum: This may be the first time I've encountered a brainless action flick and gone along with the "turn off your thinker" mentality to laugh at the crazy explosions. So far I'm taking it in stride but it is slightly worrying that I may be getting stupider.

This Peacock Needs to Fly

The Other Guys (2010)

P.K. Highsmith and Christopher Danson (Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) are two balls-to-the-wall cops who don't play by the rules. They're the kind of cops who shoot first and, then, when it gets down to the time where they should be asking questions, they're still shooting - walking away from an explosion in slow mo. This film isn't about them. Instead, it's about "The Other Guys" (Mark Wahlberg, Will Ferrell) - the guys who do paperwork at their desk and have their guns taken away from them because they accidentally shot Derek Jeter. The kind of guys who mount a red police emergency light on top of a Prius as they investigate scaffolding ordinance violations.

"The Other Guys" kind of slipped under the radar this year either because it was going up against dominant competition or people had grown tired of Will Ferrell movies. I can't blame them, his mostly-improvised comedic output has been downhill since "Anchorman". Still, in this case it's unjustified. This is the funniest movie I've seen in a long time - Will Ferrell or otherwise.

The great lines and great scenes of this movie are too numerous to get into. Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg give great performances. Michael Keaton and Steve Coogan are excellent surprises in supporting roles and the movie is narrated by Ice-T. In fact, maybe it's just me but I felt like I could actually hear Ice-T crawling on a log as he spoke. This movie actually made me laugh out loud multiple times - an extreme rarity.

That's why I creep.

Seinfeld Chronicled

Yesterday I completed a (about) 6 month-long project (I say "project" because it sound more impressive). Using Netflix, I had rented every disc of every season of Seinfeld as fast as the mail allowed.

I had previously confirmed that I had seen every episode and I'm well aware that thousands of reruns are aired every night on TBS alone. But the point was to go through all the deleted scenes, all the commentaries, all the extras as well as the flubs, bloopers, screwups and boners. I'm a big fan of all that "inside" stuff about where the ideas came from, how the show was created, what were the obstacles, etc. And on that count, it pretty much delivered although it was a long haul with a good number of thin spots. Still, next time anyone watches Seinfeld with me, they better prepare to get hit with some knowledge.

That's 9 seasons over 8 DVD seasons and 4 discs per season for 32 DVD rentals and 180 episodes. So, that's that done. On to the next thing...

War with the Postman

The other day it snowed. We got a few inches (probably 3), no big deal but I noticed something strange... ever since it snowed I haven't gotten my mail. Hmm, that's strange. Oh well. Hey, whose creed is this?

"And neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, nor the winds of change, nor a nation challenged, will stay us from the swift completion of our appointed rounds. Ever."

Oh yeah, it's the Post Office's creed. SNOW IS THE FIRST ONE.

Hey, I didn't pick that creed but if you're gonna have one that's that hardcore, you really should be able to walk through a light dusting. Allow me to suggest a more accurate creed....

"Lots of things will stay us from swift completion of our appointed rounds - particularly Sundays. Ever."

I really didn't feel like it was enough snow to shovel the driveway but I guess I have to now. They have me over a barrel on this. Who can live without mail? If these trends continue, how am I going to get 3 unsolicited J. Crew catalogs? I NEED Comcast's flyers about XFinity. What is my life if I'm not throwing away giant stacks of coupons for things I don't buy? Nothing, that's what. I have no choice but to at least shovel a path for His Highness from the street to my mailbox. I need those credit card offers.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas.

Late Night - Topical Carolers (2010)

Late Show - Holiday Toys

The Roots - The Christmas Song

Darlene Love - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) 2010

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Happy Festivus (War is Over)

December 23rd is officially Festivus so get out your aluminum poles!

Just a reminder that tonight is the last Late Show before Christmas so it's the Late Show Christmas extravaganza show. I went through all the details last year so I won't do that again but also last year they forgot Paul's Cher impression so I'll be interested to see if that makes it back in.

Head Swap - Christmas Edition

Is there any better way to celebrate Christmas than to put the head of one celebrity and put it on another celebrity's body and then to take the head of the other celebrity and place it on the body of the first celebrity? I don't think so.

It's a satire, it's a squib, it's a farce, it's an ingenious and sardonic comment on contemporary society and social morays... It's Head Swap!

"Daughters"? Really?!

Dave Calls Conan

Yesterday before the Top Ten List, Letterman announced - somewhat mysteriously - that he had called Conan O'Brien.

See the clip within this montage:

My best guess for asking "if everything is fine" refers to the Letterman/Leno/Oprah Super Bowl of Love ad. Based on Bill Carter's book "The War for Late Night", it seemed Conan was offended by the idea and/or that he was asked to participate. When word was passed to Conan that he was wanted for the piece, he reportedly said, "No fucking way I'm doing that. It's not a joke to me -- it's real."

However, it is total speculation that that was what this latest call was really about. Either way it would be silly to "feud" over something so trivial and hopefully this paves the way for Dave and Conan as guests on each other's show. Make it happen, science.

Conan Decorates for Christmas

Conan updates his new set for Christmas. Call me uptight, but I worry that in all his decorating, the true meaning of Christmas may have been lost. I don't know. Like I said, maybe that's just me.

Conan Unveils the Set

The Wolfwaker

I'm posting the whole segment but the real point of the post is the Wolfwaker introduction. It has to be one of the most preposterous and ridiculous things ever vocalized on network television. I was laughing by the third sentence and then it just kept going.

Cell Phone Shootout Part 1:
[Video Deleted]

Cell Phone Shootout Part 2:

[Video Deleted]

It was in the time of the Rock King,

Before the Age of Green Fire,

Before the Machine Rebellion,

Before the Trials of Jupiter.

The wolves were a proud and peaceful civilization

Caring for the small green and blue planet they inherited

When the humans left for the stars.

The wolves lived in human cities,

Practiced human government

And carried on human traditions

Like Christmas.

But the wolves were not alone.

One man stayed behind

To care for the wolves

To teach them art and science

To guide them through the birth

Of their civilization.

The Wolfwaker lived 300 miles above the Earth

In a vast and lonely orbiting fortress.

Always watching.

Always protecting.

And every year,

On Christmas Day,

He descends from the clouds

On a sled of fire

Waking the wolves of the Earth

To remind them of their humble beginnings

And remind them of their destiny in the Heavens...

Fun With Wikipedia

Who says wikis have to be dry, dull and boring?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria

"The village is especially popular with British tourists; as a local tour guide explained: "The Germans all want to see Mozart's house in Salzburg; the Americans want to see where The Sound of Music was filmed; the Japanese want Hitler's birthplace in Braunau; but for the British, it's all about Fucking.""

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. It's a valid sentence!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_while_John_had_had_had_had_had_had_had_had_had_had_had_a_better_effect_on_the_teacher

Or.... James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.

Dustin Hoffman and Robert DeNiro

They're two of our most legendary living actors and they appeared together to promote their new film.

[Video Deleted]

In the thirty years that Dave has had a talk show, Robert DeNiro has NEVER been on. And it's easy to see why. He may be the only living person who, if asked the question, "What's the meaning of life?", would give a Yes or No answer. From what I can tell, it's extreme shyness - if he was interviewed by someone he knew well he might give actual answers, but as it is, it's two words and OUT. This highly-edited clip cuts out 99% of the awkward silence (as usual) but that's a shame because Letterman is great in these moments. He knows he's dying on stage, his back is to the wall and he lets loose with some fantastic zingers.

Of course, DeNiro was the first guest on Jimmy Fallon's first show but I think the "publicity stunt" nature of the idea was generally lost on people. Saying that one's first guest on their first show is going to be Robert DeNiro is the same thing as saying, "On my first show, I'm gonna escape from an underwater safe." In either case, you're going to see someone die on stage.

BONUS FACT:

Amaze and Impress Your Friends at Parties with this one:

Robert Deniro is actually 25% Italian. He's mostly German and Dutch.

Top Ten Album Easter Eggs

Cracked.com has a really interesting article about the top ten album easter eggs.

Read it here.

For me, the most mind-blowing one is #6 Aphex Twin though he loses points for the fact that the song, on a surface level, sucks.

Of particular interest - and the reason I found the article in the first place - are #9 and #8. #9 is real (obviously) and I've known about for a long time. I even bought two copies of the album just so I could ruin one by opening the back of the CD case. It wasn't strictly necessary - getting to the booklet didn't have to mean ruining the case - but it turned out to be a good idea because I cracked a giant chunk of plastic off.

#8 is really intriguing and I'll be checking out that "combined" album soon but I have to regard it as the same as the Dark Side of the Moon / Wizard of Oz thing (which I also checked out by the way (summer vacations were awesome)). There are hugely suspicious coincidences that lead you down the path of "clues" but it IS only coincidence. The quote in the article where a "source close to the band" says that they can't believe it's taken the public this long to figure it out is rubbish. It's hard enough writing good music, it's hard enough producing good music and making a compelling album, you can't expect artists are going to add some hugely complicated extra parameter for themselves that they have to overcome like syncing to a movie.

I think most conspiracy theories start off for the exact same reason. In fact, there ACTUALLY people who still believe Paul McCartney is dead. THAT... is depressing. Still, I find this kind of thing interesting at least.

Stefon's Guide to New York

I don't know how many times I have to say it - when you're writing a skit where you're having trouble staying in character, do NOT write in midgets. I say it again and again and somehow nobody listens. It almost makes me think that the writers of SNL aren't reading my blog but that's impossible.

Charades With The Stillers

Ben Stiller and his parents play "Charades" with Jimmy Fallon. I'm not going to lie, when I heard Ben Stiller's parents were coming out, I did actually imagine Jerry Stiller with Estelle Harris. Hilarious segment.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Not to criticize, but it's obvious that you have to split up the married couple in order to have fair teams. This is the first "perfect game" in the history of Late Night Charades.

Phour Aces

This blog is hardly sports-related but I'm a good cop and I don't play by the rules.

Earlier, Cliff Lee re-signed with the Phillies, giving them a pitching staff that, if not unparalleled in history, is at least rarely seen in history.

Now the race is on to find a nickname for the group now that the former "H2O" moniker (Halladay, Hamels, Oswalt) is outdated.

"R2C2" (Roy, Roy, Cole, Cliff) seems to be the early favorite though we are early on in the voting (only 5% of districts reporting, this one is a hot potato on a jumping stove during an earthquake). I like "Four Aces". Of course, it will be tweaked to "The Phour Aces", that's a rule.

Click here to view the photoshop/slogan fun (the real point of this post).

My favorite is "The Four Horsemen"

Though I feel if that were actually to take off, by law it must be tweaked to "The Phour Horsemen". That's a rule.

I find myself intellectually able to recognize the amazingness of the situation but still emotionally unexcited. Somehow in the city that is specifically designed to be pessimistic about our sports teams, I may be the most pessimistic. I thought last year was their year and the season is so long with so many ups and downs, I was so excited for the beginning of the playoffs and the team just faded away. Then they're one year older and they lose Jayson Werth and I just feel emotionally spent. I just don't want to expect a Championship until the final game is over. I'm looking at a baseball "Dream Team" and not excited. Maybe this is my superpower. Maybe I should wear a cape and a big "thumbs down" picture on my chest. Maybe I'm just in a mood.

Conan - The Comic Book Guy

Conan visits Warner Brothers' animation department to explore various super heroes and to get animated himself.

American Chopper Returns (AGAIN)

This show is constantly either cancelled or questionable to return but keeps coming back. It's the Brett Favre of shows but without all the cell phone stuff. Not that that's a criticism - I still love the show and want it to keep going.

Discovery aired a special last Monday with new interviews about the family feud and what has happened in the past year. I haven't seen it yet. It'll mostly just be a rehash of the previous season but I'll check it out anyway.

Then, this coming Monday (Dec. 6th) new episodes of the new season will air. HOLY SHORT NOTICE, BATMAN! It's hard to complain about getting what you want and getting it RIGHT NOW but I do fear that it's not enough time to emotionally prepare. I wonder if they have Paul Sr. as head of production now.

"DON'T GIVE ME THIS 'WE NEED TIME TO EDIT' 'WE NEED TIME TO ADD SOUND' BULL****! MAKE THE SHOW! YOU GOT ONE JOB, JUST GET IT DONE AND PUT IT ON THE AIR!"

Guess The Pies

It's a Thanksgiving tradition. Every year on the Thanksgiving episode of the Late Show, we visit Dave's mom and try to guess which pies she baked this year. See if you can (psychically) determine which pies she made.

Can't embed the video. Follow this link for the full episode and skip to the second segment.

Spoilers Below....

First off, way to go Dave's mom, denying global warming. Stickin' it to the man. Dave is obsessed with global warming so it features in the show often (to my annoyance).

Dave's first guess is Pumpkin. And Dave's first guess is ALWAYS pumpkin. He goes for the percentage shot first. Out of the years that Guess the Pie has been played, a Pumpkin pie was a correct answer 75% of the time. If that guess is correct, the real work begins but at least it's only one-to-go. If that guess isn't correct (as is the case this year), he's really in trouble. In these situations he does the best thing which is to just do the "RSTLNE" of the pie world (Cherry, Apple, Blueberry, Pecan).

In years in which she's feeling creative, the pie(s) can be virtually ungettable. The fact that he got the Sugar Cream pie was quite a home run (though it was huge that he got the clue he did). Looking it up, it looks like Sugar Cream is a pie that's specific to the Indiana region. It's also known as "Hoosier Sugar Cream" and "Indiana Sugar Cream". That explains why I've never heard of it.

The major pie in the "ungettable" category that sticks out in my mind was from 1997. That year she made a Coconut Butterscotch Pecan pie. WHOAH. Are you kidding me?! Another year the (much less difficult) pie was a Rhubarb pie which always reminds me that I've never had a Rhubarb pie and I'll have to find one some time.

GUESS THE PIE BONUS COVERAGE:

As the Sugar Cream is specific to Indiana, I've never had it but there are tons and tons of pies specific to my region. The most obscure one, which I have had, is Ground Cherry pie. Oh, you mean a Cherry pie? No. Oh, you mean a specific type of Cherry pie? No, GROUND CHERRY pie. It's a Pennsylvania Dutch tradition/recipe and sure enough my great-grandmother used to make them every year for Thanksgiving. (The recipe was passed down to my grandmother and then my aunt). What do ground cherries taste like? It's very much an "aquired taste" [read: kinda gross]. The closest thing I can point to is they kinda taste a little bit like tomatoes. As such it's a pie that, I think, is teetering on the edge of extinction. It doesn't even have a wikipedia page to link to. I'm not partial to it, myself, but I always think it's a shame when the old-timey traditions like that die out.

Non-Televised Talk Show

Jerry Seinfeld and Jimmy Fallon experiment with a new show format: a talk show that doesn't get shown on television.

The irony, of course, is that this was an actual plot in "Seinfeld". Kramer turned his apartment into a talk show but didn't own any cameras.

This clip makes it obvious that Jimmy doesn't film his show like Letterman films his. No late night talk show is filmed live but the Late Show is filmed as if it was. If something fails on the Late Show they don't go back later and retape it. When they go to commercial and the band plays, the band will play a song for the exact length of time that the commercials run. If they're back from commercial and not prepared, too bad, they got caught. Etc., etc., etc. They may be the only show to do that.

Classic Roots Choice #24

In this installment of "Classic Roots Choice", Jimmy Fallon does all the explanation himself. Enjoy.

True Grit Trailer

The Coen Brothers have made another movie starring Jeff Bridges. Is it "The Big Lebowski 2"? No, not quite.

Here's the trailer:

Snap. I'm looking forward to it. It's a perfect trailer in that it gives you a sense of the movie but is completely vague in every respect. I felt the 30 commercial was even better but couldn't find that online. Apparently the movie is a remake of an old John Wayne film. Fortunately for me, I haven't seen that movie so I still don't know what to expect.

Who Cares Wins - Thanksgiving Edition

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, the folks at Video Vision were kind enough to make an instructional video 25 years ago to guide the weary viewer through this tricky holiday.

Tracy Morgan Explains Star Wars

I've seen the Star Wars Trilogy countless times but sometimes you just don't "get" something until someone comes along and articulates it so well....

"If you got a ghost telling you not to do it, don't do it, holmes. You ahead of the game!"

Book Review : The War for Late Night

Over the weekend I read the book "The War for Late Night : When Leno Went Early and Television Went Crazy" by Bill Carter. Bill Carter also wrote the definitive book about the original Late Night war (Leno vs. Letterman) over who would replace Johnny Carson, "The Late Shift" which I'm reading now.

The book obviously centers on the events which took the Tonight Show away from Leno to give it to Conan, the disaster known as "The Jay Leno Show", and then the events which took the Tonight Show back from Conan to give it to Leno. But it also thoroughly explores how the situation was set up by events and personalities years before as well as the conclusion of the battle where Conan goes to TBS. Every personality and event is covered step-by-step. It goes through all the Machiavellian machinations from the NBC executives, the affiliates, the lawyers, the press, mistakes made with the contracts and, of course, the thoughts and actions of the stars themselves. It also goes into some of the recent history and the reactions by the other talk show hosts, particularly Letterman, but also Kimmel, Kilborn, Fallon, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

The book is an extremely well done and extremely insightful fly-on-the-wall insight into all the executive whispers, back room deals, show business politics and just general chaos that transpired within NBC and out to the other networks as well. Reading the book, it quickly becomes apparent that the author either had incredible connections and interviews or simply likes to makes stuff up (but of course, his reputation and risk of lawsuit precludes the latter). Which is exactly what I wanted out of it - when Conan and his producer go in an office and shut the door, the trail doesn't stop there, you get the spoken dialog of the discussion. The tone is also extremely even-handed - Leno is not made out to be a demon, and Conan isn't made out to be a victim - the book presents the viewpoints and insights of a wide array of "show biz insiders" and allows the viewer to judge.

This isn't a life-changing book or one that will greatly expand your understanding of the universe; the rating or recommendation is simply a matter of interest in the subject matter. If you don't find the Late Night battle an interesting topic, there's no reason for you to read this book, but if you're like me, this is mandatory reading. But (chuckles) you don't have to take my word for it...

[DO DO DO]

High Pitched 8 Year Old: DO YOU LIKE BOOKS ABOUT PINHEAD NETWORK EXECUTIVES? IF SO, THEN "THE WAR FOR LATE NIGHT" IS FOR YOU! When the story begins, executives at NBC are stuck with a problem: how do you keep two of your stars happy if they both want the same show?!

[Illustration of a man peering into a cave with a flashlight]

They think they have a solution by moving one of them to primetime but it turns out to be a bad idea and it makes their affiliates mad!

[Illustration of a bear running away from a cloud of bees]

What can they DO? Could the answer be found in the small print of their contracts?!

[Illustration of a farmer hauling watermelon in a pickup truck]

I'M NOT GOING TO TELL WHAT HAPPENS NEXT BUT IF YOU LIKE STORIES ABOUT PR WARS AND THREATS OF LITIGATION, THEN GO TO YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY AND REQUEST A COPY OF "THE WAR FOR LATE NIGHT"! YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID!

[DO DO DO]

Web Redemption - Charmed

Usually "Web Redemption" is sole province of Tosh.0 but not in this case. In this episode, actor Rainn Wilson seeks redemption for his bad acting in an episode of "Charmed".

Conan Episode #2, Mr. Falcon!

Conan meets with the official censor of "Conan":

The Taiwanese Computer Animation of Conan's Return:

My favorite part of the show is when Conan and Andy belch gold vapor that turns into money. But that's just me. That's a regular feature, right?

Conan's Music - A Historical Perspective

One of the surprises of the new Conan is that he's cut a record. "Live at Third Man" is a collaboration with Jack White of the White Stripes and features a host of rockabilly tunes performed in Nashville, Tennessee.

Other blogs can tell you much more about what's on the record, I'm sure, but here's something the other tour guides won't tell you....

1) He's Done This Before

How many Twitter followers will remember that Conan cut a rockabilly record at Sun Studio in Memphis, Tennessee in the early days of "Late Night"? Not many. It's funny how time has a way of turning things around because the first time he did it, it was the exact same style but it was clearly meant to be a big joke. Let's watch:

2) It's Hypocritical

Ouch! That's a little harsh. Well, it's not meant to be but so be it. In an interview with Carson Daley, Conan admitted that he did like to play the guitar but he's not gonna be the kind of celebrity that "inflict their hobby" on the audience. Let's watch:

Again, the power of time to change things is amazing. At 14, Conan sees Alan Thicke play the guitar on his first talk show, thinks, "What an ass!" and yet 27 years later he does the same thing.

The change of heart happened so gradually and so subtly. One of my favorite bits he ever did on Late Night was when he would invite one or two "random audience members" and ask them a few questions and write a song about them on the spot. It was pretty much the same idea as "Free Stylin' With The Roots" on the current show except the audience members were set up and the "improvised" songs were scripted for comedic purposes. You could kind of write the contradiction off because it was music only for the purposes of comedy. Then they did another skit where Conan would create and sing a lullaby as a public service to young parents who are up late with their newborns. This skit very well might be the turning point around which this whole story revolves - or it would, if any of this mattered - for, when they did this skit the first couple times, Conan was just singing solo but in later additions he started bringing out and playing his acoustic guitar. Once again, you could write it off as comedy (and funny comedy - the best kind). Then came the writer's strike and Conan played a rockabilly number with the band. This time, it was a little strange because it was in earnest and not meant for comedy but at the same time you could kinda write it off because it shows that they're in the middle of a strike and desperate to kill time. Then, you'll recall, on the last ever "Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien", he performed "Free Bird" alongside an all-star lineup. But then, that was the last episode and self-indulgence was the entire point. Which brings us to today where Conan was the co-musical guest on his own show in order to promote his own record and it was a totally down-the-line musical performance - no comedy intended.

And there you have it - a tiny history of Conan's music. Please note that I don't have any problems whatsoever with Conan performing music and, as has been noted, some of his best comedy came that way. This blog only serves to point out the irony that one person who DOES have a problem with it (or would) is Conan's former self. Also, it killed time.

Conan - Episode #1

As you no doubt are already aware, the first episode of "Conan" aired last night. I was extremely impressed with how smooth and seamless it was. That's very rare for the first episode of a late night talk show (yes, even when the host is a seasoned veteran). The cold open was about 12 times better (approximate) than the cold open of the first "Tonight Show" episode (I think they may have learned from that one). Loved the Halloween mask, loved Ricky Gervais' piece and Andy Richter is in top form (as always).

Apparently it got higher ratings than Letterman/Chinbag which doesn't surprise me at all but it ought to be interesting where it comes in when the hubbub dies down. You've gotta weigh an 11 o'clock start vs. the basic cable factor. Plus, there's the question of fan loyalty. Will all those people who went to rallies, the tour, created petitions, clogged twitter, etc. watch faithfully or forget again? We shall see.

Here are my favorite highlights:

Cold open:

[Broken Video Removed]

Ricky Gervais wishes Conan good luck:

[Broken Video Removed]

Classic Roots Choice #23

That didn't take long, did it?

Elvis Costello was on Late Night on Friday. Here, The Roots have an entire life's work of songs to choose from, so what does one do? The walk-on music they chose for Elvis Costello was the theme song from the R. White's Lemonade commercials.

There might be thousands of people everywhere scratching their heads looking to my blog for the answer to the riddle (which I would know) except Elvis just couldn't leave it be and explained it himself in his interview (boooooo! I could have been the only one!).

Elvis' father was a jingle writer and wrote the R. White's Lemonade "Secret Lemonade Drinker" song. On top of it, Elvis' sang back up on the song when he was just a kid. In case you weren't living in Great Britain in the 70's (and I suspect that's the case) it looked like this:



It's always struck me as the height of weirdness. Is this a common problem? He's addicted to lemonade, isn't he? He's gotta do it secretly because he doesn't want his family to know he's got a serious lemonade problem and needs professional help? LOSE THE HABIT, MAN!

"Conan" Episodes To Be Available Online

Team Coco recently announced that full episodes of "Conan" will be available online (for free) the day after they air. It takes just one sentence to communicate that and yet its importance is monumental. This small nugget of information is the difference between me seeing every episode of his new show and seeing virtually none of it. I already watched every single episode of "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" so you know I'm good for it.

In other Conan News, in a magazine interview, Conan said he will not have Leno on as a guest (surprise?). But even more shocking is that there's going to be a rule that goes against decades of Talk Show Law in which no guest will be allowed to plug a project. I'm not so sure that's possible. Could it just be a joke? And even if it's real, it's going to become a giant elephant in the room in each episode. You'll have an actor never mention their show but wear a tshirt with the title and opening date on it or they'll take a sip from the guest mug and there'll be a movie poster on the bottom, etc. I guess we'll have to see what happens on the first show, airing this Monday.

Classic Roots Choice #22

Usually these posts are for obscure or clever choices of song for a particular guest's walk-on music. This one's a bit different. This is about kicking-to-commercial music.

The Roots covered "Everything in its Right Place" from Radiohead's epic "Kid A" album.

It looked and sounded like this:

"But wait a minute", you say incredulously, "It goes to commercial so you only get to see a few seconds of it". Your point being? Those two seconds were the most exciting two seconds of my terrible day.

Ed. Note: Relistening to the original now to verify the youtube link and, 10 years later, it still sends me back to the first time I heard it. That is a trip. The song is a trip in itself, but that's a trip on top of the original trip. That's what I call "Double Tripulature". There's also "Triple Tripulature" but people don't generally survive that. Don't forget to trip your waitress.

Conan : The Zeroeth Episode

Conan recently did a preview episode to showoff what his new show will be like. Much like "An Idiot Abroad", he's calling it the "Show Zero".

The new show is supposed to take "full advantage of the internet" (possibly not an actual quote) so hopefully that means putting the EPISODES on the internet. Please Please Please Please.

F--- YOUR REWARDS CLUB

I give you the money, you give me the product. END OF TRANSACTION.

Back to The Future - 25 Years Later

This year is the 25th anniversary of the release of "Back to the Future", a true classic.

Michael J. Fox was on Letterman recently and told the story of how he got the job:

The song "Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News is on the new Rock Band 3 which came out this week. Wow, that's gonna be fun to play.