Late Show - Christmas Traditions

Friday was the last Late Show before Christmas so it was the annual Christmas show.

First off, the greatest story of all-time: Jay Thomas' "Lone Ranger" story followed by the football/meatball challenge. Well, one snag this year: Jay Thomas is currently recovering from an injury and couldn't do it. So John McEnroe (with some help from the cue cards) steps in for him.



For the Quarterback Meatball Challenge, John hit tennis balls at the top of the tree but was unable to hit it.

And, of course, Darlene Love performs "Christmas Baby (Please Come Home)".



One bonus this year: celebrities opening up disappointing gifts:


Merry Christmas.

Conan Visits a Doll Store

Conan visits the "American Girl" store and the result is hilarity. He even develops his own "play pattern".

Conan Goes for a Ride

Conan, Ice Cube and Kevin Hart go for a ride in a car. I don't know why - I think it's a commercial for the app they use - but it's good.

IMDB 250 - Incendies (2010)

Incendies (2010)

"Incendies" is a Canadian film, filmed in the French language and set in Lebanon. As it begins, two twins are reading the will of their recently deceased mother. In the will she requests that they find their father and brother, both of whom they have never met. In order to track them down, they have to piece together the pieces of their mother's life which we experience in flashbacks.

If there was ever going to be a first scene that hooks me in, it would be this movie's. The film starts with basically a music video for the Radiohead song "You and Whose Army". I'm in. And then later on in the film, the song "Like Spinning Plates" makes an appearance.

Soundtrack aside, "Incendies" is a pretty powerful film with an extremely clever story. One scene in particular I found to be extremely powerful and the ending is quite a twist. It reminds of a modern day "Dr. Zhivago" in the way it cuts to the past to reconstruct a person's life, shows the devastating effects that world events have on the lives of average people and the fact that the ending delivers such an emotional punch.

8/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 374.

Conan Auditions for Commercials

Conan goes to a Commercial Acting School and tries his hand at making commercials. He's like a cat that's ready to pounce and he uses his turn signals to avoid an accident.

Will Forte, Freakin' Will Forte

Will Forte was on Late Night recently.

First, he unveiled his submission for the new "Tonight Show" theme song. Frankly, it sounds a lot like his proposal for the "Late Night" theme song.



Then, he performed a very special medley of James Ingram songs... but there's something a bit off about the whole thing...

Conan Goes to BlizzCon

Every year there's a convention that centers around the online role-playing game "World of Warcraft". Conan attended this year and filed a report on the goings-on.

Conan at the Track

Conan goes to the horse track and gets to call a race.

Another Event in Television History

The creators of The Greatest Event in Television History 1 and 2 are back but with a slightly more humble attitude. This time, they hope to create AN Event in Television History by filming a shot-for-shot recreation of the "Too Close for Comfort" intro.

Can they pull it off? Find out...

More Conan at 20

More Conan clips from the past 20 years were added to the Conan website.

Highlights include:

Seinfeld Auditions

2003 Year in Review (Clutch Cargo)

Late Night Rain Delay

Best of Late Night Comedy Vol. 1

Best of Late Night Comedy Vol. 2

Best of Late Night Comedy Vol. 3

Best of Late Night Comedy Vol. 4

Best of Late Night Comedy Vol. 5

Best of Tonight Show Comedy

Best of Conan Comedy Vol. 1

Best of Conan Comedy Vol. 2

And so forth...

IMDB 250 - Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

I don't really need to describe the plot or rate the various aspects of the film. This movie lives up to the Star Trek name, it's as good or better than the previous installment. It's a great action movie. It's everything you'd want a Star Trek movie to be, I think.

In this installment, I got particular enjoyment out of Simon Pegg's performance as Scotty and Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy. Both are excellent renditions of the legendary characters.

8/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 373.

IMDB 250 - Like Stars on Earth (2007)

Like Stars on Earth (2007)

A boy struggles in school and in life until an inspired, vibrant teacher comes along and recognizes that he simply has dyslexia.

Well, it's tough to be cynical about a movie where a little boy realizes his potential because someone cared about him. I will say that this movie is charming and it is somewhat touching in some places. Having said that, it really isn't that good. It's cloying and obvious and filled with cookie-cutter scenes that we've all seen a thousand times. It also has too many songs and there's no reason for a dance number (yes, I know it's the cultural norm).

I wouldn't say it's awful but it's like a "very special episode" of "Growing Pains" if "Growing Pains" episodes were 3 hours long.

5/10.

Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 372.

Conan's 20 Year Anniversary

Late Night with Conan O'Brien first went on the air September 13, 1993 - 20 years ago. His first guests were John Goodman, Drew Barrymore and musical guest Radiohead.

All this week Conan has been celebrating the anniversary by playing montages of the best moments of his 20 years on late night. There are too many to link to but you can find all the uploaded clips at TeamCoco.com/Conan20. They'll only be available for a few weeks though.

A few personal notables:

20 Years of Bloopers

The World's Oldest Stuntman (a video I put on youtube before it was removed by NBC)

The Clive Clemmons Totally Inappropriate Response Channel

Conan Goes to Bartending School

Conan and Andy Have a Staring Contest

Abe Lincoln Money Shots (don't watch it)

The Max On Max Channel (don't watch it either)

The "Not Cool Zeus" Channel

Conan Visits Houston

Conan Dines with Jordan Schlansky

Conan's "Making the Band" - Dudez A-Plenti (note: Conan's own website gets the name of the band wrong. Pfff.)

And on, and on, and on. Check it out.

Serious Jibber-Jabber - Mel Brooks

Conan sits down for a long-form interview with Mel Brooks. They discuss Automats and little else...

Conan Reviews Video Games - PC Horror Games

Conan is back with another video game review. This time, in honor of Halloween, he's reviewing a few horror games for the PC.

This video is kind of Not Safe for Work.

Late Night - 1980s Cop Show

Long time, no post. Well, I didn't go anywhere, it's just that the Late Night Comedy field has been sparse lately.

But this is good.

Jimmy Fallon and Alec Baldwin remember their 1980s cop show:

IMDB 250 - The Hobbit (2012)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

I think I like this movie more than the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Having not read any of the books, I can't say why for sure but I can speculate.

I guess that when you spread one book over three movies (instead of three books over three movies), the material is allowed to "breath". You can handle things more slowly and naturally. The beginning of the first Lord of the Rings movie feels jarring - they setup multiple characters, races, histories all at once and then things move seemingly very fast (and perhaps seemingly at random). The beginning of this movie only needs to setup a few characters and a few flashbacks to history to get going. It's much easier to get into. As a fantasy movie, it feels less of a "list of scenes that we need to cover" and edges closer to "Alice in Wonderland" or "The Wizard of Oz".

I also think that Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins is easier to like than Elijah Wood. The group of dwarves that he accompanies are also much more fun than "the fellowship". It follows, then, that the action sequences work more because you care about the characters involved.

It also helps that this movie can start at the beginning. The LOTR trilogy didn't have that. It, again, feels simpler and easier to follow. Perhaps if this movie had been released first, I would have enjoyed LOTR more.

I've spoken before in my review of "Harry Potter and the Something Something" about how dangerous magic is in movies. I'll repeat myself slightly here because it most definitely applies. The magic in this movie has no logic. Perhaps it's explained in the books, I don't know. But I do know that one scene begins with Gandalf creating a huge explosion of white light and knocking out hundreds of enemies in all directions and then a few minutes later, he's trying to fight off a single attacker with a sword. How does that work? If you can use magic in one instance, what happened in the next? In fact, when ever ANYTHING bad happens in the movie, I'm wondering why magic isn't used. Seems pretty straightforward. Similarly, if a character has just been pushed off a giant cliff and is hurtling toward the ground and a giant eagle appears from nowhere to pick him up, what does that mean for all future "whatever will they do" predicaments? It's extremely hard to worry about the outcome of any dramatic situation when you've already seen how magic can just swoop in out of nowhere and save the day.

Given that we know everything will always turn out fine thanks to magic, I can only guess that it'll be very hard to really be worried by anything in the series to come. But this is enjoyable, imaginative and colorful entertainment. I enjoyed it.

6/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 371.

Conan and Louis C.K. Reminisce

September 13th was the 20th Anniversary of the first Late Night with Conan O'Brien and one of the writers on his first show was Louis C.K.. In this clip they remember the old days...

P&S - Bono as a Wedding Singer

Preston and Steve riff on the idea of Bono being a wedding singer. After the initial intro, be sure your sound is up because it's a little hard to hear.



Incidentally, the same general concept came up before on the Ben Stiller Show.

Late Night - Joking Bad

In the latest Late Night with Jimmy Fallon spoof, Jimmy reveals that his show is a lot like the TV show "Breaking Bad".

If you haven't been watching "Breaking Bad" this won't be funny to you and, more importantly, you're missing out on one of the great TV shows of our time. Everyone else: enjoy.

P&S - Rocky IV Translation

At the end of Rocky IV, Rocky speak to the Soviet people and single-handedly defeats communism. But when he speaks to them, he speaks through a supposedly Russian interpreter. So is the translation in the movie accurate? Preston and Steve investigate it's validity in this clip:



A few explanations to some of the references:

"Carwashes where the people are." is a reference from earlier in the show.
"Been come to known as." is a garbled phrase inside-joke of the show.
"Resist we much." is a quote from Al Sharpton.
"When it's time to change you've got to rearrange." are some of the lyrics of the Brady Bunch song "Time to Change".

Conan - Jordan Schlansky is Late

Conan has discovered that Jordan Schlansky is coming into work late on Fridays and confronts him about it...


Why would they still work on Friday if there's no show? Either do a show 5 days a week for the audience or enjoy a 3 day weekend every week for yourself. This is a lose-lose.

P&S - "The World's End" Interview

A really Preston and Steve interview with Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and director Edgar Wright. They talk about "The World's End", Star Trek and Star Wars.

Late Night - Brian Williams Raps

In this edition of the continuing series where Brian Williams raps classic hip hop, Brian Williams covers the classic "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

Ride Like the Wind Resurfaces

It's coming up on four years since Christopher Cross performed on the finale of the first ever Yacht Rock Party and the online videos of the performances are long gone. But one of them, "Ride Like the Wind", has resurfaced on vimeo.

If, like me, you can't get enough of this, this is exciting news. Here's Christopher Cross, Michael McDonald and The Roots performing "Ride Like the Wind"...

Jesse and the Rippers Reunite

Jesse and the Rippers reunite for a one-time performance of all their greatest hits. And it all happens on Late Night...



There are two ways you can go with the fact that the vocals are lip synched. Maybe it's sad, cheap and insulting. But they were probably lip synching on "Full House" too so you could take it as perhaps "more authentic". You decide.

Late Night - Jesse & the Rippers; Perm Week

This Friday, Late Night will feature a reunion performance of the legendary band Jesse and the Rippers. The San Francisco band will be playing for the first time in decades. Catch it. It's all part of Late Night's Perm Week.

Rifftrax - Bermuda Triangle

The guys over at Rifftrax have a new riff on the movie "Bermuda Triangle" out. They must have been in a strange mood when they made this new promo to talk about the new release because it's even better than when they discussed "Birdemic"... which was really funny.

Bermuda Triangle:

Return of the Wolfwaker

The journey to liberate the bird-like creatures of Barnard's world had begun with purpose, but readings from the star's core troubled the Wolfwaker. As the Conjoining Plague slowly spread amongst the wolf army, he wondered if they would ever make it home. 

He had witnessed enough pain and cruelty for a thousand lifetimes but still he recoiled at the horrible alien mutations that the plague had wrought. Innocent and loyal wolves were sacrificed - flung screaming into the Ocean of Burning Methane which lay beyond the Great Waste. And now the Bird King had gone mad, calling for a worldwide insurrection against the wolves before he too felt the sting of the Wolfwaker's harmonic spear. 

There were only three keys left to the Quantum Tunnel. Two of them were flying like daggers into the heart of the faltering star...

Stephen Merchant on Drunk History

The first episode of "Drunk History" aired last night and featured a cameo by Stephen Merchant.

In "Drunk History", various regular people get drunk and then tell the story of a particular historical event. Then, actors dramatize the event the way the drunk person told it.

In addition to Steve Merchant as Lincoln, the first episode features Dave Grohl, Jack Black, Fred Willard, Adam Scott, Will Forte and Bob Odenkirk.

The episode can be watched online here. "Drunk History" airs Tuesday nights on Comedy Central.

IMDB 250 - Memories of Murder (2003)

Memories of Murder (2003)

A young woman is raped and murdered in a small South Korean town. The police force looking at the case may be from a rural area, but they have seen their share of murders. Except there's one thing that makes this one different: no evidence. It appears that the killer is a professional - he's systematic enough that they have nothing to go on. Soon after, there is another murder. And then another.

"Memories of Murder" is based on the true story of the first serial killer case in South Korea from 1986 - 1991 which remains unsolved.

Leading the case are two different detectives with two very different methodologies - one from the big city, one from the country. I know that sounds like every buddy cop movie ever but the movie is good enough to make it seem fresh and real. Aside from the almost total absence of guns, there's another aspect that makes this movie rise above the formula - it counterplays the drama of the situation with black humor. South Korea, after all, was under a dictator at that time and police brutality was not unusual. In one scene of the movie, when a detective is unhappy that a suspect will not confess, he dropkicks him after a running start. In a later scene, same situation, another dropkick of the suspect.

Scenes like these are at the heart of why this movie works - it has such a delicate balance to strike and it succeeds. We want justice so we root for these cops but we watch them use brutal tactics and it reminds us of that they're not exactly "the good guys". We want them to succeed to catch the killer and yet, in moments that show their bumbling ineptitude, it works as comedy. It's a very strange and unique stew of feelings and genres.

"Memories of Murder" does all of these things well - it's smart, it twists, it turns, it leaves us guessing. So what's wrong with it? The problem is just the movies format. Police officers trying to track down a serial killer in a procedural drama is something we've (perhaps literally) seen a hundred times before. They find clues, they investigate leads, they bring in suspects - even if these elements are done well (and they are) they can't possibly have the same impact after 3,000 episodes of "Law and Order" have aired.

A very good film - interesting and entertaining - and with a very strong and memorable ending. But it just doesn't rise to the level of being great.

6/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 370.

P&S - Tracy Chapman

During a "Music News" story about a heavy metal festival, Preston and Steve get on a tangent about Tracy Chapman.



This clip is highly edited - the actual discussion was much longer and funnier - you can hear the full segment on this episode of their podcast.

Conan Searches for Mug

A mug was stolen in the Conan offices and Conan takes it upon himself to find it.

Conan Visits E3

Conan visited the electronics expo E3 to scout out the new trends in gaming and gaming consoles:

The A-Team

The A-Team (1983-87)

"Milk is good for you, Billy."
"OK, B.A., you got it!"

A good portion of A-Team academia focuses on the question of what preceded the slide in ratings that caused the series to be cancelled after only 5 seasons. Some say that the audience simply grew tired of its formulaic nature. Other say that it strayed too far from the formula that made it a hit. So, did it stay formulaic or didn't it? Not only is there disagreement about the reaction, we can't even agree on the show itself.

Having just finished watching the entire series, I'm firmly in the "it strayed" camp. The first three seasons are the "golden years" where the hired by a person in trouble/car flip/B.A. doesn't like planes/machine building montage/Hannibal's on the jazz formula never changes. Starting in the fourth series, the episodes start to branch out and play around with the possibilities. Episode 2 takes place entirely on a cruise ship. Episode 13 begins with Murdoch being kidnapped. Episode 21 starts with a flashback to a boxing match in the 50's. Most extreme of all, in Episode 23 a man gets shot and killed - A MAN IS SHOT AND KILLED on "The A-Team"! This is also the season where the A-Team helps out famous guest-stars Rick James, Isaac Hayes, Hulk Hogan and Boy George (I kid you not). The Boy George episode may be the worst of the entire series.

I have no problem with "branching out" and changing (some) things and playing with the format but the bottom line is that this season - Season 4 - is also the time when the ratings started to slide. And then in Season 5, the whole script gets flipped upside down - they're working for the government (not the common man) and the show becomes a "Mission: Impossible" ripoff. Again, that wouldn't be the worst thing in theory but it is pretty bad in practice. And they even re-made the theme song. That's sacrilege, pure and simple.

This is one of my favorite shows of all-time. The "golden years" are as formulaic as any show ever created but I absolutely love the formula. I love the use of guns and explosions as a **non-violent** means of control. I love the car chases. I love when they build machines. I love the van - one of the greatest TV vehicles. I love Mr. T - one of my favorite tough guys of all-time. I love Hannibal's plans. I love it when a plan comes together.

When I was a kid, "The A-Team" aired Sunday night from 8-9 P.M. and my bedtime was set firm at 9. There are still times when I can hear the theme song and go back to that moment in my childhood. It was so exciting that I was about to get an hour of awesome television... and it was so sad that I knew the countdown had begun - when the final credits rolled I had to go to bed. The weekend is almost over... almost... but it's not over yet.

CICGC - David Letterman

There's a new season of Jerry Seinfeld's "Comedians in Cars getting Coffee" is underway and the guest for the second episode is David Letterman.

It's excellent. Watch it here.

"Can we just ask these people to leave?"
"We don't own this place."
"We could change that though, can't we?"

Late Night - Do Not Game List

As part of Video Game Week, Jimmy Fallon warns you about the video games that you absolutely should not pick up:



I really had high hopes for Captain Novolin.

The first guest was Howard Stern and he seemed to dislike the video game segment. Watch that interview here.

Late Night - Video Game Week Intro

It's Video Game Week on Late Night and they've (once again) created a special show intro for the event. They've outdone themselves. In particular, watch for a very quick reference to "All You Base Are Belong to Us"...

Letterman Loves Drums

What can I say? The man loves a good set of drums. You want proof? Here's a montage of Dave appreciating drum sets as well as a few other instruments.

Conan Reviews Video Games - "Injustice"

In the latest installment of "Clueless Gamer", Conan and Aaron review the brand new title "Injustice: Gods Among Us"...



Note: It took several episodes but Conan finally gave an actual score.

The Greatest Event in Television History

The Greatest Event in Television History... AGAIN!

In this second installment, Adam Scott and Amy Poehler recreate the opening to the tv series "Hart to Hart".

Let's watch...

Late Night - Brian Williams Raps

Ever wanted to see NBC News anchor Brian Williams perform classic gangsta rap songs? Well, now you can:

Late Night - Game of Desks Ep. 1

It turns out that the inner workings of late night talk shows are a lot like the hit TV show "Game of Thrones". Jimmy Fallon examines this similarity in the first episode of the Late Night Digital Original series "Game of Desks".

Late Night - De La Soul Performs

De La Soul perform "A Roller Skating Jam Named 'Saturdays'" as a web-exclusive for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. And, of course, they are accompanied by The Roots...

Seth Meyers to Host Late Night

It was announced that Seth Meyers will take over hosting "Late Night" in the spring of 2014. Personally, I'm not excited but I wasn't excited about Jimmy Fallon either and that turned out OK

Preston and Steve - Home Alone and Smoking

Here, Preston and Steve discuss the current "news" story that Macaulay Culkin smokes 60 cigarettes per day...

Late Night - Lip-Synch Off

John Krasinski and Jimmy Fallon compete to see who can lip-synch better...

IMDB 250 - Oscar Roundup

Since my last visit to the IMDB 250, Oscar season has come and gone. I watched all the nominees and many of them made their way onto the list... before being bumped off. There are two left, however. Unfortunately they're my two least favorite. Can you sense my excitement?

Django Unchained (2012)

Plot: A bounty hunter frees a slave and employs him in his business.

If you want to play the averages, you should definitely see this movie. People apparently love it. Obviously - it's still on the list. But I don't like it. Continuing with his "grindhouse" style, Tarantino has made a blacksploitation/revenge movie where the slavery is what sets up the need for revenge. It seems to me that this is taking the topic of slavery way to lightly - it's only a device, it's a "MacGuffin".

Is it ok to invent fictional aspects of slavery (mandingo fighting)? Tarantino would answer "Of course it is! It's just a grindhouse film, afterall." Is it ok that when real horrors of slavery are shown, they're just used as cheap ploys to "shock" the audience and get more people buying tickets? "Sure, it's just a movie."

To me, this is a technically well-made movie, but one that isn't entertaining. To me, it's almost offensive. Even though I know I'm in the minority.

5/10.
Total Top "250" Movies Seen: 368.

Life of Pi (2012)

The main plot of "Life of Pi" is a story within the story. Early on, the main story is set up thusly:

Adult Pi Patel: What has mamaji already told you?

Writer: He said you had a story that would make me believe in God.

That's a pretty good hook to start your movie. If this movie is as good as everyone says it is, this sets up a really intriguing experience. I'm hooked. What story could it be that would make a person believe in God? Interesting! Except the movie never delivers on that promise. I won't give away the ending but I can say that the story doesn't do anything close to that. It's a fact that most reviews seem to overlook or not understand. They'll talk about the special effects and the cinematography - and I agree the movie looks great - but not mention that the "beauty" is totally empty of content.

It's not enough for a movie to have a tiger for me to say "Yayyy tigers are pretty!", it should go somewhere, it should do something. Again, I seem to be in the minority on this one as well but, to me, this is a visually beautiful movie that goes nowhere and does nothing.

5/10.

Total Top "250" Movies Seen: 369.

For what it's worth, if you're curious which Oscar-nominated films I DID like... I liked them all. My two favorites are "Silver Linings Playbook" and "Argo".

Quadrennial Curse: Broken

In the past I've talked about the Quadrennial Curse - the curse where every four years a different Philadelphia team gets to the finals and loses - and this was the Flyers' year. Here's the rundown:


1993: The Phillies make it to the World Series and lose.
1997: The Flyers make it to the Stanley Cup Finals and lose.
2001: The 76ers make it to the NBA Finals and lose.
2005: The Eagles make it to the Super Bowl and lose.
2009: The Phillies make it to the World Series and lose.
2013: The Flyers make it to the Stanley Cup finals and lose. Miss the playoffs.

Given that the Flyers recently failed to make the playoffs, the curse is officially broken. Ain't that a B? Usually, sports curses are broken when something good happens. This one was broken by even greater mediocrity.

Well, it was an awful run while it lasted.

Short Film: Cartridge

A video game podcast I subscribe to ("B, A, Start") recently uploaded a short film onto youtube and I thought it was really good. It's a short film about one man's love affair with Super Nintendo. Here it is:

The Making of the Greatest Event in Television History

Last October I wrote about the Greatest Event in Television History. Oddly, it's months later and Adam Scott is only now talking about it on his most recent appearance on "Late Night". See it here:



The good news is more "events" are on the way though details are scarce.

Harrison Ford on Star Wars

During an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, Harrison Ford refuses to answer questions about "Star Wars":

The Kennedy Center Honors David Letterman

I kinda forgot about this.

I was writing about the fact that David Letterman would be honored as a Kennedy Center Honoree all the way back in September.

Today it occurred to me to check youtube to see if that video was online. It is. Here is his segment of the awards ceremony. You'll see he's next to Led Zeppelin.

Conan Wishes Jimmy "Good Luck"

After it was announced that Jimmy Fallon was taking over the Tonight Show in 2014, Conan took time on his show to wish him the best.

Conan Learns Etiquette

Conan enrolls in "Southern Charm School". He learns ETIQUETTE AND PROTOCOL and, in the process, solves a murder.

Conan Sings Gospel

People don't recognize that Conan has a very high, pretty singing voice. Now that he's down in Atlanta for a week of shows, he decided to show off that fact by joining a Gospel choir.


It's always strange when people don't understand that Conan is joking. Why would anyone take Conan at face value? I suppose they don't watch.

Movie Review: Field of Dreams (1989)

Field of Dreams (1989)

The problem of male-male affection is a tough one. Boys will stop kissing their dads around 7 or 8 (if they ever did at all). Around 14, it becomes uncomfortable to give their dad a hug. Into adulthood, physical affection will devolve to, but at least stop at, a handshake. Men will rarely examine what their father means to them (or anyone for that matter but especially their fathers) and, even if they do, are the group who's least capable of expressing those feelings.

For most sons (at least in the U.S.) one of the earliest and fondest memories we have is "having a catch with dad". It will be ingrained in their memory forever right next to the smell of grass and the way the hot sun feels. Throwing the baseball is a physical expression of love that never "goes out of style" even if you may stop doing it. The thrower imparts a strong visceral sensation on the catcher but does it indirectly, through the baseball, from the "safe" distance of several yards. And, done in the unassailable name of "sports".

Which brings me to the climax of "Field of Dreams". I will not begin to cry when Kevin Costner asks the simple question, "Hey dad!... Do you want to have a catch?". But that's only because I'm smart enough to start crying a few minutes earlier... in preparation for that line. Because I know it's coming. And I know what comes next. Note the way Ray (Costner) catches the ball and pauses briefly - he knows the exact meaning of that sensation and that moment. Hopefully, we do too.

Ray describes the years he spent estranged with his father: "I wanted to come home but I didn't know how"). We, as the audience, know that time cannot be undone by anyone. Whether the reasons are major or minor, in big ways and small ways, we can never go back home again. The fantasy of the movie allows us to witness one man who is suddenly excepted from that law. Whether that's cathartic or tortuous, it's both perfectly unique and extremely emotional.

9/10.

Conan Reenacts the Civil War

While in Atlanta for a week of shows, Conan joins a troupe of Civil War reenactors. He really gets into his character.

Jacob's Patience - Steve Carell

Jimmy Fallon and Steve Carell look back on their days on the Canadian soap opera "Jacob's Patience". Justin Timberlake is also involved.

Is it Justin Timberlake or is it Justin Lumberpond?

Jordan Schlansky Returns; Drinks Coffee

Loyal viewers know that any appearance of Jordan Schlansky equates to comedy gold. This is no different.

Apparently one of Jordan's "various" responsibilities is purchasing an expensive espresso machine on Conan's dime. And controversy ensues.



"In English. Cuz 'God Bless America' you son of a bitch."

The Michael McDonald Trio

The title is self-explanatory. Three Michael McDonalds sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". Not as funny as it is interesting.

In case you're wondering, the one in the middle is Justin Timberlake.

Fallon to Host Tonight Show?

Various sources are reporting that NBC is planning to give Jimmy Fallon The Tonight Show when Leno's contract expires next year.

Allow me to be the first of many who will say (and continue to say even after it happens) "I've heard that before."

Return of the Wolfwaker

For centuries the Wolfwaker had journeyed in solitude, thousands of light-years from the lush bosom of the Wolf Planet. He was the Chrylon 4 Star System's most gifted warrior, yet his nights were spent alone, huddled in his starship upon a meager buckwheat cushion, harmonic spear at his side.

And each new dawn, as he woke from restless slumber to the blinding haze of a white-hot intergalactic sun, he would raise his face to the heavens and wonder, "Will I ever know love?" 

And so it was that one day, a beautiful she-wolf appeared to him - thousands of years his junior - with a delicate snout and coat so supple, it set the very ions of the Wolfwaker's synthetic consciousness ablaze. For seven blissful harvests she shared his buckwheat cushion and the Wolfwaker at last knew peace in his loins. 

But he knew also that his destiny lay elsewhere and that he must travel onward without her... Ever onward, a scorching pillar of fusion flame, deeper and further amongst the stars, defending the wolves against sentinent, hyper-violent robotic overlords and waking them when they slept...

Conan Reviews Video Games - Tomb Raider

In yet another edition of "Clueless Gamer", Conan reviews the new "Tomb Raider" game.

It's excellent.

Conan Reviews Video Games - Halo 4

In this edition of "Clueless Gamer", Conan reviews the new game "Halo 4". This is a bit of a special review because it's the first time that he's reviewed a game in which he voices a character.




You can watch Conan and Andy record the voices for their characters here.

Between Two Ferns - Oscar Edition

A special new two-part episode of "Between Two Ferns" focuses on Oscar nominees.

Part 1:


Part 2:

Downton Sixbey Is Back

Downton Sixbey is back with all new episodes. Carson Daily had yet another hot air balloon accident and the family must scramble to find an heir.

Super Bowl: Steelers vs. Magnolias

Of course I have an ongoing project to boycott the Super Bowl as long as I don't have a rooting interest (Pre-2011, 2011, 2012). This year, the theme I chose was "chick flicks". But which ones? I tried to think of the two most prominent "chick flicks" of all-time. I debated and discussed it at length with others - and thanks to everyone who contributed! My conclusion, controversial as it may be, was that the two movies at the very top of the list must be "Steel Magnolias" and "Beaches".

That was my decision. Then I called an audible... the third series of "Downton Abbey" and the new episode was airing opposite the Super Bowl anyway so "Beaches" was scrapped. "Downton Abbey" is a fantastic show but as much as I love it, it certainly qualifies for the "feminine" moniker. I feel no shame. As long as John Bates and Anna Smith end up together, everything will be just fine. Also, I hope Lady Edith Crawley finds someone - she's been so unlucky in love! Poor, poor, Lady Edith...

Alright....

Steel Magnolias (1989)

"Steel Magnolias" is about a group of women. These women love each other. They're there for each other - in good times and bad. They gossip, discuss clothes, do their hair and vent about their relationships. In this world, Men do exist - but only barely. Men are a net evil on the world but only marginally... and these women, supporting each other as they are, can persevere past these problems.  Separately, life might be impossible... but together, they know they can make it through. I know everything with them is going to be A-OK... and, oh yeah, the script calls for just one more thing.... BRING ON THE TERMINAL ILLNESS!!!

Given that I've still never seen "Beaches" or "The Lake House", seeing and enjoying "Steel Magnolias" in the theater is my greatest "chick flick cred" achievement. If I listen to the conventional wisdom of society, I shouldn't really enjoy it. But, watching it again, I still really like it. I like dramas where the plot is completely character-driven. I like dramas that follow the characters over a period of many years - showing the full spectrum of life experiences. And the dialogue is real and smartly written. The Lifetime "melodrama" (such as it is) only comprises a small percentage of the movie - most of it is large portions of southern fried comedy - but even so, it is touching. The acting (Shirley MacLaine, Olympia Dukakis, Sally Field, Julia Roberts, Dolly Parton) is absolutely top-notch.

One of the few male actors in the movie is Tom Skerritt who has the unhappy task of informing "the ladies" that Goose died. That guy can't catch a break.

Overall, a really, genuinely good movie. Not earth-shattering, of course, but better than most.

Better Than "The Notebook" / 10.

The Super Bell

I was talking to a friend and we got onto the topic of local tourist traps. We've lived in the same area all of our lives but still not seen the local sites that people MUST see. So we made a day of it, today.

Eastern State Penitentiary

Built in 1829, Eastern State Penitentiary is the first prison built in the United States and the prison that became the model for all prisons afterward. It revolutionized the penal system. For a year, it housed Al Capone. There were also several escapes although only one person evaded recapture. It was closed in 1971 and fallen into disrepair so it has the whole "rotting concrete and rusted iron bar / haunted mansion" thing going on.

Now, this is not my kind of thing. It was a compromise because the other guy wanted to see it. But I will say that I was pleasantly surprised how interesting it was. It was much more historical and educational and much less about general creepiness than I was expecting. It turns out it isn't a horror show, it was actually quite a revolutionary and enlightened way of treating criminals.

Here's the downside: it's 20 degrees out, the tour is an hour long and the prison isn't heated. Yikes.

Independence Hall

Independence Hall should need no introduction. It's the home of the Continental Congress, it's where the Declaration of Independence was signed, it's where the United States Constitution was ratified.

Now this is my kind of place. It speaks for itself. I love this stuff. The tour only lasted 20-30 minutes but about 15 minutes in, I saw people pulling out the cell phones to check facebook. That bothered me. If you don't want to be here, don't be.

The Liberty Bell

The Liberty Bell (according to legend but not actually) rang out and cracked when the Declaration of Independence was approved.

I'm kind of torn on the bell (much like the bell itself). It's a tremendous and iconic symbol but it's only a symbol. Seeing the bell is just seeing a bell. Still, it's the kind of thing I can cross off the list.

Here's the interesting thing about the bell that never occurred to me until today. The bell was cast to have Leviticus 25:10 written on it: "Proclaim LIBERTY throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof." That's where the name comes from, what's so interesting about that? The interesting thing is that it was cast in 1751 - way before the colonies had any thought about declaring independence. So why was it ordered to have that verse? No one knows. Not bad, huh?

Miscellaneous

In the same area as Independence Hall is Congress Hall. Congress Hall is the site of the first Congress. On the first floor is where the original House of Representatives met. The second floor was the first Senate.

Close by is the birthplace of Edgar Allen Poe. We skipped that. Also not far away is the Betsy Ross house. We skipped that too. We did drive past the birthplace of Larry Fine (of Three Stooges fame).

The day ended with a trip for cheesesteaks from Pat's and Geno's. Buying a cheesesteak from one of these places is something everyone's supposed to do. It's not just hype that the cheesesteak was invented at Pat's (there is a sign) but it's hype that they're better than other places. If you ask me, they're about the same.

The Super Bowl

The day of this trip happened to coincide with the day of the Super Bowl. I thought that might play to our advantage and perhaps there would be no lines or waiting. I was incorrect. It should have been obvious that the set of people who are interested in the Super Bowl does not intersect much with the set of people who are tourists. It wasn't terrible though.

Conan and Andy Dub Chinese

Conan and Andy visit the sound studio to dub the English translation of a Chinese television show.

The show is called "Return of the Pearl Princess" and I think Conan and Andy really improve the experience for the American audience.

Conan - Oprah's Lance Interview

Conan has the highlights of Oprah's Lance Armstrong interview and it looks like things got a little tense.

Movie Review: Russian Ark (2002)

Russian Ark (2002)

Alfred Hitchcocks' classic "Rope" was famously made to look like it was shot in one continuous take. The actors would do long sequences of 6 minutes, or sometimes 10 minutes each, where, if anything went wrong, the whole thing had to be redone. By beginning and ending these sequences by focusing on static objects (and some other tricks) the long sequences could be edited together to appear to be one continuous shot. Hitchcock was limited by the maximum amount of film a camera could hold.

Alexander Sorkurov, armed with new digital camera technology, created "Russian Ark" - a 90 minute film - entirely contained within one continuous shot. With a cast of literally hundreds (perhaps a thousand or more) extras, the movie took six months of rehearsal in order to film the entire movie in one day. And given that that day in Russia only allows 4 hours of sunlight, and given that the movie is an hour and a half, they had only a few chances to get everything right.

We view the movie through the eyes of a Russian man (who is probably dead or perhaps dreaming) who finds and speaks to another man, a Frenchman, in the same situation. From the visual point of view of the Russian, we float through a palace and examine the world of the Russian aristocracy - we barge into diplomatic ceremonies, we glide through extravagant balls and drop in on masquerade parties. Most of the world we see is from the Tsarist Russia period but characters from all of Russia's history inhabit the same spaces.

The movie is avante-garde, mostly plotless and mostly characterless. Nothing is certain and nothing is explained. It's obviously not going to be most people's cup of tea. But it is also looks absolutely beautiful and the movement of the camera with the first-person point of view creates a dreamlike sensation. And, let's face it, part of the enjoyment is the appreciation of how it was done - it's about the spectacle and the feat of making something we've never seen before.

6/10.

Movie Review: The Emperor's Naked Army Marches On

The Emperor's Naked Army Marches On (1987)

"You had your way and I had mine. We can't be born together and die together."
"But we all have something in common. We did something terrible."

Kenzo Okuzaki fought for the Japanese in World War II in New Guinea. Even though he survived the war, he found he could not escape it. He decided to devote his life to shouting the truth about the war from the rooftops in order to prevent anything like that from happening again. Early on in the movie we see him driving around in a truck covered in giant billboards that denounce the Emperor, see him being hassled by the police and hear him talk about past arrests without shame.

In this Japanese documentary, we watch Okuzaki investigate the deaths of two of the men who served in his unit. Okuzaki believes they were sentenced to death by their superiors and then executed but the details are unclear. Throughout the film, he shows up unannounced at the homes of the former soldiers and confronts them on camera. One by one details emerge but, like a real life "Rashomon", all perspectives conflict. Were they killed before the war ended or after (when such an execution would be murder)? One says they tried to desert, another says he wasn't there, another says that yes he was. One says the execution was ordered, another says the captain was acting on his own.

When Okuzaki feels the interviewee is not telling the truth, he sometimes gets violent. Not very common to see in a documentary. He brings the surviving relatives of the victims along to increase the pressure to tell the truth. But when the relatives no longer want to participate, he hires actors to play them.

One of the dead soldiers relatives believes her brother was killed in order to be eaten. And that isn't even the most shocking thing that happens.

This is an astounding look at buried pasts, the horrors of war and people's ability to ignore guilt. I can't believe I've lived this long without ever even hearing about this movie. This is a must-see documentary with scene after scene of mind-blowing revelations. More than most other documentaries, it is proof that truth is truly stranger than fiction.

8/10.

Late Night - Bill Cosby Returns

I've talked about how great Bill Cosby is on Late Night. I won't repeat myself. He was great again, here's the strongest segment:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Worlds Collide : MST3K and Late Night

LEAVE THE BRONX.

I was drifting off to sleep listening to the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode "Escape 2000" when I thought I heard an unlikely name.

I rewound to the same moment. Clear as day, Tom Servo says, "Steve Higgins". Here's what it looks like:

Watch the moment here.

LEAVE THE BRONX.

Steve Higgins - in addition to being a long-time and current writer on "Saturday Night Live" - is the announcer and sidekick for "Late Night" with Jimmy Fallon. Here's what he looks like today:

The writers of MST3K are the kings of the obscure reference but, even so, I had to wonder how they know of him. Turns out that at the same time that MST3K was starting out on Comedy Central, Steve Higgins was a writer/performer on the Comedy Central show "Higgins Boys and Gruber" which Joel Hodgson was involved with as well.

LEAVE THE BRONX.