Saturday, February 27, 2016

Oscars 2016

Every year, ahead of the Oscars, I like to watch all the nominated films and pick my own winners. This year is no exception. I've watched all the Best Picture, Best Actress and Best Actor nominees and know (more or less) who I want to win.

I've done this for a couple years and the years in which I have correspond exactly to the years I'm not interested in watching the actual ceremony itself. You would think that having a "rooting interest" would make me more interested in watching but it's actually the opposite. I guess that knowing who you want to win takes away some of the "mystique" and a little bit of the "power" of the question "who will win?'

That's handy because the Oscar ceremony is exactly the same stuff every year. Every year people watch it and then complain about how long it was and how late it went. Every year the Academy agrees and takes steps to make sure it's shorter next year. And then the next year is always too long, and so on. It would make a great case study in cultural amnesia.

Best Actress

Nominees:

  • Cate Blanchett in “Carol”
  • Brie Larson in “Room”
  • Jennifer Lawrence in “Joy”
  • Charlotte Rampling in “45 Years”
  • Saoirse Ronan in “Brooklyn”
I'm starting with this category because it's the least interesting. No, not because of sexism (though all women do look the same to me) but because I wasn't blown over by anyone. Mind you, there were good performances by good actresses this year, but there is no performance that stands out as particularly amazing.

In particular would be Cate Blanchett and Charlotte Rampling. It really seems that they were nominated solely because they've been nominated in the past and seem to be safe choices. I don't see anything in the movies themselves that would usually warrant a nomination.

My Pick: Brie Larson in "Room". This is my best choice in a weak year. She's very good.

Best Actor

Nominees:

  • Bryan Cranston in “Trumbo”
  • Matt Damon in “The Martian”
  • Leonardo DiCaprio in “The Revenant”
  • Michael Fassbender in “Steve Jobs”
  • Eddie Redmayne in “The Danish Girl”

It appears that Leonardo DiCaprio is the front-runner in this category and I have no idea why. Not only did he not give the best performance of the year, he didn't give the best performance in the movie that he's in (Tom Hardy makes him look like an amateur). People seem to be under the illusion that Leo is a great actor. He isn't. He's actually a pretty bad actor but he's nonetheless a popular one. One thing's for sure, if it turns out that all you need to do as an actor to win an Academy award is make a "crawling and grunting in the woods" movie, next year's nominees are going to be interminable.

My Pick: Matt Damon in "The Martian". From what I've heard, this seems to be an unpopular pick and he has no chance of winning. But I have to be honest with myself - and I don't even like Matt Damon usually - and say that, for me, his was the strongest performance. The perception is out there that he just played Matt Damon, Super Scientist Man but that isn't what I saw. From happy to confident to shattered to weak to depressed, there is more range in this performance than any other and Damon does it flawlessly. That's what I thought.

Best Picture

Nominees:

  • “Mad Max: Fury Road”
  • “The Martian”
  • “Spotlight”
  • “Bridge of Spies”
  • “Brooklyn”
  • “The Revenant”
  • “Room”
  • “The Big Short”

This felt like an average-to-below-average year. The movies, as a group, are good but not great. One exception: I don't see how "The Big Short" was nominated; it belongs nowhere near this category and I have no idea why it was. Good for Adam McKay though. 

I was rooting for "Brooklyn" - it's the small, indie romance picture that would usually be my pick. But about three quarters into the movie, the plot takes a left turn which completely left me cold. Similarly, I went into "Bridge of Spies" with optimism because I like Spielberg and Hanks but it was just "okay". The story doesn't live up to the standard of the talent. 

"The Revenant" is pure hype and no substance. It's probably the favorite to win but only because people are blinded by how difficult it was to film. Yes, they filmed it in freezing temperatures using only natural light but judge the movie not the process of film-making. There is no underlying message, there is nothing learned and there's hardly any invested emotion. Sure, when Leo is injured and crawling through the snow you hope he makes it to safety but that's literally all there is to the experience.

My Pick: "Mad Max: Fury Road". It was a toss up between Mad Max and "The Martian". Both are action/sci-fi adventures, which would normally be a handicap, but both are executed so well that they're my top two picks.

In the end, I give the edge to Mad Max. The world it creates is so original, the tension and pace it maintains is so rare, the spectacle of the visuals and stunts is amazing. Love it or hate it, you have to admit that it's completely original and unlike anything else you've seen. And that's definitely the deciding factor for me. I normally wouldn't consider a goofy action movie for Best Picture but in an era of endless sequels, reboots and comic book movies, it's incredibly rare to be able to say "I've never seen anything like that before". Any time a movie makes me say that, I can feel pretty secure in calling it the best picture of the year.

Friday, February 26, 2016

Tonight Show - Mike Birbiglia

A small anecdote from Mike Birbiglia about heckling...

Friday, February 19, 2016

The Original Star Wars Crawl

The changes George Lucas has made to Star Wars over the past 20 years suck. Not only that, but anyone who wants to buy the original trilogy on DVD or Blu-Ray can't, because Lucas refuses to release anything but the ruined versions.

That's why a group of Star Wars fans began a project to release the original Star Wars movie from the original 35mm film. Pooling their money to buy a theater copy, they then went through the long process of cleaning the movie and transferring it to a digital form. This process is complete and their version has been released to the internet.

Finally, I can watch the original Star Wars movie that I've been watching since I was a kid... but there is one way in which the "original" is in a sense still "different"....

The fan-made version of Star Wars comes from a film reel from the original 1977 release of the movie. Since the text "Episode IV: A New Hope" was added to the opening crawl in 1981, and every version of Star Wars I've ever seen was after that, this means that I've never seen what the original opening crawl looked like to moviegoers when it first premiered in the summer of 1977.

Until now.

Star Wars Original Crawl 1977

Tonight Show - Vince Vaughn's Box of Lies

During the pre-game interview, Vince lets it be known that he knows what's REALLY going on. He also begins the psych out game.



The match:

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Tonight Show - Fuller House and Donald Trump

Note: I am not posting this video because it is funny. I am posting this video because it's INSANE.

The only way to understand it is by breaking down the tape, second by second, like a football game or something. Get some coffee because it's going to be a long night.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Tonight Show Valentine's Day Anniversary Special

The Tonight Show aired it's 2nd Anniversary Special on Sunday.

You can watch it here.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Valentine's Day: Epilogue



That alien is not a reliable source of information. And that's the problem with aliens.

Rad Roundup '16

Well, it's Valentine's Day so let's take a look at what's happening in the world of "Rad"...

Heroes of Dirt



Bill Allen, star of the movie Rad, has a new-ish BMX movie, "Heroes of Dirt". Well, well, well, looks like the local boy thinks he's a pro.

Right from the start, the connections are apparent. There's a kid who loves BMX and dreams of competing in the Big Show with the professionals. The opening scenes show him trying to evade a police officer who, as it turns out, really cares for him. Oh, and his parents don't really approve of this BMX stuff either. Bill Allen plays the father.

But that's largely where the similarities end. This movie isn't intended to be a remake or reboot, but a movie of its own. It's actually a little surprising how little the plot really revolves around BMX - it's really more about kids stuck in a life of crime and it strangely turns into a kind of a heist thriller.

The part that was the biggest surprise to me is that the film takes place in Allentown, Penna. (Allentown? More like Bill Allentown.) I had vaguely heard of it for a few years but I didn't know it was being shot locally. I'm honored to have just been in the same state as Bill Allen, even if I was never aware it was happening. At one point someone goes to jail and the "jail" that he gets sent to is clearly Eastern State Penitentiary. That kid is going to do some hard time.

This is one of those low budget movies where they really do a pretty good job of hiding the fact that it's low budget even though it's inescapable. In particular, there are some weak acting moments. The cinematography is pretty excellent. Overall, it kind of constantly rides that line of good/bad so I wouldn't recommend it to everyone. I give it a pass though, I think you gotta take what you can get or you're screwed.

Turbo Kid



"Turbo Kid" is also a low-budget movie and also a movie that came out last year but, unlike "Heroes of Dirt" has no direct connection to the movie Rad. But the opening scene is a kid riding on a BMX bike to the song "Thunder in Your Heart" and we know what that's about....

"Turbo Kid" is a unique movie concept. It came out last year (as I said) but it's in the style of a post-apocalyptic 80s film set in the distant future of 1997. The style is an 80s era projection of what the future would look like. Think "Mad Max" but with a kid on a bike instead of a car.... and also with a sense of fun and some clever, comedic elements.

The movie strikes the perfect balance between paying homage to all those classic 80s hits and also not falling into the one-trick-pony "remember the 80s?" schtick. This is a smart movie with a nice sense of fun and really likable characters. It's got "heart". It's got heart AND it's got Michael Ironside with an eye patch.

But the real star of the movie, for me, is the completely synthesized score. The movie SOUNDS great.

I highly recommend seeing "Turbo Kid" but not to everyone. It's the kind of movie that you have to "get". You have to be on the same wavelength, but if you are, it's pretty great.

My Rad Career



“If Bill Allen was hanging from a cliff and I was holding him with one arm, and I was holding my girlfriend with the other, and I had enough strength to save them both, I would let go of my girlfriend just so I could make sure that I had a really good grip on Bill.” - Daniel Tosh

So says the promotional website for Bill Allen's new book. It also has a positive quote from the screenwriter of "Rad". "RAD" HAD A WRITER?!

Bill Allen has a new book out. It's an autobiography in which he talks about the making of "Rad", how he was cast and his days (apparently) hanging out with Brad Pitt and Brandon Lee. I haven't read it and I don't know that I ever will but I can't help but be curious.

Official Website.

Friday, February 12, 2016

The Most Satisfying Video in the World

Awwww yeah, it's time to take it down real low and feast your eyes on the most satisfying video in the world. Just kick back, relax, because this is the video where everything's cool, no one's getting uptight, no baggage or hangups, just keep things mellow, you do your thing and they do theirs.

This one's an all-skate.... All-Skate.



I once spent a good portion of the day watching the industrial egg seperator on a loop...

Monday, February 8, 2016

The Super Bowl of Schlock / Super Bulls

This post is part of a continuing mission to boycott every Super Bowl in which I don't have a rooting interest and replace the watching of it with various very non-Super-Bowlish activities.

(Pre-2011, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015).

This year was kind of an off year. Firstly, I didn't really plan too much ahead of time - due to problems at work, I wasn't really fertile with imagination. Then, when the day came, I was stuck in bed, feeling the physical and psychological effects of some tainted ice cream I had eaten the day before.

In such a lowly state, the order of the day was simply finding something fun, something easy to watch, something low-key; finding the entertainment that best compliments a warm blanket and hot soup. For that purpose, what could be better than plowing through a "Best of the Worst" marathon on youtube?

In "Best of the Worst" the "gang" from RedLetterMedia watches three B-Movies (usually on VHS), discusses each one, analyzes them, breaks them down and then decides which movie is "Best of the Worst". If any movie is determined to be especially egregious, it will be destroyed in some creative manner.

In this episode, the gang watches movies from the dinosaur craze of the mid-nineties. This episode features Academy Award Winner Whoopi Goldberg and Academy Award Watcher Denise Richards.



There is also a sub-genre of "Best of the Worst" called "Wheel of the Worst". In "Wheel of the Worst", the guys put even worse and more bizarre VHS tapes on a wheel and spins it three times. The three movies that the wheel lands on are the three that they must watch.

This episode features the classic VHS "How Can I Tell if I'm Really in Love?" which stars Justine Bateman, Jason Bateman, Ted Danson and a step ladder. Or is there a step ladder? Either way, it's a star-studded affair. But even with that level of star power, it may not be enough to match "The Osteoporosis Dance" which features no stars (unless you count Tay Zonday) but does feature old people flailing about semi-randomly.



Part 2


Feeling slightly better, I was ready to take on some amount of excitement. So I watched Game 1 of the 1990-91 NBA Finals: Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls vs. Magic Johnson and the Lakers. Sometimes you just gotta relive the Michael Jordan glory days. Also the Marv Albert glory days, as he calls the game.

One of the great "bonus add-ons" that you get with this era is reliving the Chicago intro that featured "Sirius". From my memory, I thought the intro stopped at "Sirius" but I could have sworn I heard it transition fully into "Eye in the Sky" on this particular occasion. I THINK that's what I heard, I could be wrong.



The music fun didn't stop there. You know what music seriously dates the game? When "Hangin' Tough" played during a timeout. Man, oh man.

But then there were a lot of ways that 1992 has started to really look old. There were a large number of men in the crowd wearing pink shirts, for one. And the arena had a large banner ad for Winston Cigarettes. I wonder if those even exist anymore. Also, the cheerleaders were wearing the old-fashioned pleated cheerleader skirts that no one wears anymore. NBA cheerleaders these days wear... wait, what do they wear?

As for the game itself, it's a pretty good game. It was close, exciting till the end but the Lakers won. Oh well, the Bulls will hopefully bounce back. Game 2 takes place in a few days / 25 years ago.

And that was the Super Bowl for me.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Conan Reviews Video Games - Doom

Conan gets a few NFL players together to play Doom on the XBox One. That old chestnut.

Tonight Show - Puppies Predict the Super Bowl

Not so much funny as it is a chilling portent of things to come... In this segment of the Tonight Show, puppies predict the winner of Super Bowl 50.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Tonight Show - Is Something Happening?

For the week of 1/25, the Tonight Show aired new episodes Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Then aired reruns Thursday and Friday (1/28, 1/29).

Then this week (2/1), the Tonight Show will air reruns Monday, Tuesday and then return with a new episode on Wednesday.

This is unusual for a late night talk show - when they take a week off, it's usually not split across two weeks. And there hasn't been any news about going off the air for a new baby or because of an injury. There's also no explanation anywhere. Strange.