Late Show Backstage - Norm MacDonald, Don Rickles

During the period when David Letterman was still recovering from quintuple bypass surgery, CBS the Late Show filled time with special "Backstage" shows where a guest host and a former guest would relive past Late Show appearances.

These shows amount to something usually unheard of in talk shows... a "best of" compilation. Hosted by former Late Late Show host Tom Snyder with first guest Norm Macdonald, the segment "Dave and Richard Simmons go Door to Door" and Don Rickles, this show is the best of the best - one of the classics.

Part 1 - Best of Norm (1/3)

Part 1 includes Norm's famous appearance right on the heels of the announcement that he was fired from SNL.

Part 2 - Best of Norm (2/3)

Part 2 is the best segment I think. It's Norm's "growing" up in Canada stories. Some of the best story telling ever. Plus, Dave makes him do a "David Letterman impression" right in front of the man.

The best part of it is Paul playing himself. If you've seen the skit on SNL (no link available) you'd know that the Paul Shaffer impression on SNL is basically just picking a word or phrase out of what Dave says and repeating it in a slightly whiny monotone. Paul is obviously aware of this because when Norm asks Paul to play himself, he doesn't play himself. Paul does an impression of the SNL guy's impression of him. It's genius.

Part 3 - Best of Norm (3/3)

Another classic, classic, Norm story - "Old Harold Delaney".

At the end Norm mentions Robert Blake's appearance on the Late Late Show where he told that "huge bull sh** story". I always wonder what that refers to. As far as I could tell, Robert Blake's appearances were all the same and all involved long amazing stories about "old Hollywood". True or not, they were amazing; he was the absolute best guest on that show.

Part 4 - Best of Norm Epilogue / "Dave and Richard Simmons go Door to Door"

Norm tells a great story about when he worked with Don Rickles on "Dirty Work".

"Dave and Richard Simmons go..." is one of the all-time classic Letterman bits and I'm lucky to have it on tape. Every time Dave went outside the walls of the studio to tape a bit, it was legendary which makes it all the more tragic that he never does it anymore. The standard pattern is followed for all segments involving these two - it's one of the only certainties in life:

1.) Richard starts out excited and loves Dave.

2.) Dave mocks him.

3.) Richard gets mad at him.

4.) They argue like an old married couple.

Then, next time, Richard is happy again as if he doesn't remember what happened last time. He's like that guy in "Memento". You can set your watch by this pattern (though I don't know how you would).

Also, you can see a prime example of the "Late Night" editing style (I don't know a better name). This is quick, short, cuts; quick flashbacks to odd moments and most of all creating artificial reality. By "artificial reality" I mean they'll take a shot of a person acting or reacting in some way and splice it into a different moment in time to make it look like they're acting or reacting to something else. As far as I know it was invented in the 80's by "Late Night", perfected by the time this segment was shot around 1993, and you can still see it occasionally today. More and more often though, it's becoming just a cheap "reality television" device.

Part 5 - Don Rickles

On top of all this, there's Don Rickles who's a legend.

Fix You (The Old Version)

I came across this performance a while back on tv and after I got past the initial "WTF?!" moment (really, I didn't ever get past that) I found it strangely affecting. I think I like it better than the Coldplay version in fact.

See it here.

Apparently this is a group that does regular concerts of all different types of music and this was supposed to be a duet but the other guy passed away.

V.D.

Awwww.....

Reminds me of Jason Mraz but with less ridiculous lyrics.

Murder, She Wrote > All

I was listening to someone go on and on about the classic horror/slasher movies the other day and, as I have almost no interest in the movies made in those genres, I had little interest in the conversation. But hearing them talk in such detail about how great they are made me kind of think I was missing out on something. So, I thought to myself, "What are the things that were genuinely scary that I also enjoyed?"

The ones that immediately came to mind were the things that freaked me out when I was a kid. Number one on the list is "Unsolved Mysteries". If you want to prevent me from being able to sleep put Robert Stack in a trench coat on a dark street in a studio lot and have him narrate over a slow motion re-enactment of "the man who was kidnapped at night and never seen again". I'm sure this is a common reaction. One time when Conan was hanging out with a bunch of kids for a bit and showed them a picture of Robert Stack they immediately started booing. He didn't get it at all but I know the score.

Number two on the list would have to be "Murder, She Wrote" for pretty similar reasons. I didn't so much have trouble with the murder, or the mystery, or the clues, or the suspects - what got me was the end of the show when Jessica Fletcher(Angela Lansbury) would explain how it was all done and they would show it in flashbacks. Recently I've downloaded a few episodes to revisit what was so scary.

Here are 11 reasons "Murder, She Wrote" is better than shows today:

1. Guest Starring: Robert Goulet. - No explanation needed.
2. Casual smoking. - It used to be glamorous and it used to be on tv.
3. Alcoholism is treated in a frothy way. - It's not a serious problem, it's comic relief!
4. "Tonight on 'Murder She Wrote'..." - That's right, they used to have a montage of what you were about to see. Some shows today have a "Previously On..." montage at the beginning and some shows today have a "Next Time On..." montage at the end but NOBODY has a "Tonight On..." montage. That's hardcore.
5. Everywhere this woman goes there's a murder. - And she never does the JD Salinger thing and cuts off all human contact. You would think, "Stop going to social functions, people are dieing, woman!!!". But no, if Jessica Fletcher stops watching people drop like flies around her then the terrorists have won.
6. Murder is just a normal part of life. - A corpse is lying on the floor, battered and bloody and Jessica Fletcher acts like it's the start of an Easter egg hunt. She practically runs over the corpse looking for clues.
7. Guest Starring: Cesar Romero. - He's the original Joker if you don't know.
8. Theoretically solvable mysteries (much of the time). - The audience can usually follow along with the mystery and figure out the murderer based on the clues in the show. You don't get that with your "CSI"s and your "Law and Order SUV"s.
9. Non-horrific clues. - Speaking of "CSI" and that lot, never in the history of "Murder She Wrote" has Jessica Fletcher ever found traces of semen anywhere. When Jessica grabs her flashlight you can rest assured she's not going to use it to look through pubic hair. You can come up with your own third example, this is making me feel sick. But it is true... and you can see it on primetime television every night.
10. Unrelenting titles. - Actual episode titles: "Hooray for Homicide", "We're Off to Kill the Wizard", "Paint Me a Murder" (that one's about a painter), "One Good Bid Deserves a Murder", "Corned Beef & Carnage" and "Simon Says, Color Me Dead". Incidentally, it's a style that was copied by "Family Guy" in its first few episodes.
11. Avoidance of controversial subjects. - We all know the Robert Reed character is gay but why actually say it? It's so much more fun when he wears a fake pencil mustache, acts over-the-top effeminate and says, as his alibi, that he was eating dinner with a man last night.... a reporter!.... he was doing a story.

Incidentally, watching the show now it seems all the "scariness" was just my childish imagination. It's not really "scary" at all but it is a fairly well written, interesting mystery show. Also, other things that were scary but enjoyable were the "Resident Evil" series, the movie "Arachnophobia" and "Clue".

LATE... on NBC

Tonight (Friday) on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon is the premiere episode of the new show "Late" a sci-fi drama about a group of people whose elevator crashes on a deserted floor.

Here's the trailer:

Intense.

Films of the 2000s

This is really well done. Not much to say other than that.

Films of the 2000s:

Peter Gabriel - Scratch My Back

I've lost track of Peter Gabriel in the period since John Cusack held a boombox aloft in "Say Anything" but he's come up with an interesting concept.

With his new album, entitled "Scratch My Back" Gabriel covers 12 songs by 12 different artists. Then, later, another album will be released of those 12 artists covering Peter Gabriel songs, entitled "I'll Scratch Yours". The main point of interest is the artists involved. Other than Peter Gabriel, you have names like David Bowie, Paul Simon, Talking Heads, Lou Reed, Arcade Fire, Radiohead and Neil Young.

Check out an exclusive preview of the first album here.

I'm a fairly big fan of some of his work with Genesis and his solo album "So" is a masterpiece in my opinion. However, I haven't heard much of his material since then and this is his first release in 8 years so I didn't quite know what to expect. My initial impression is that the style of the moment for him seems to be slow, dire, stark and dour. If you're looking for dark and atmospheric music this is probably the album for you. If you're not, it's not. From what I've heard so far, I'm not sure but I'm liking it. I wouldn't say any one songs stands out at this point but that's to be expected - it's the kind of thing that sneaks up on you slowly. I'll keep listening and see what I find. Anyways, I'm more looking forward to the second album - with all those artists it's bound to be an interesting treasure trove of interesting covers.

The rumormill is abuzz with what song each artist will cover. I've heard that Bowie isn't involved and it actually be Brian Eno who will do the response song (lame). The biggest mystery is exactly how the Talking Heads are involved as they have said things in the past that indicate that they'll never reunite.

Snowmageddon

The other day on the weather they displayed a graphic that read, "Thundersnow". Aside from thinking, "that's a great band name", I was puzzled. Never heard the phrase before in my life. Even stranger was that (assuming it means the same thing as "Thunderstorm" but with the snow) I realized that I don't think I've ever seen that happen in my life and I had never thought about it.

According to wikipedia, thundersnow "is a rare thunderstorm with snow falling as the primary precipitation instead of rain. It commonly falls in regions of strong upward motion within the cold sector of extratropical cyclones between autumn and spring when surface temperatures are most likely to be near or below freezing. Variations exist, such as thundersleet, where the precipitation consists of ice pellets rather than snow." So it is what it sounds like.

Hopefully I get to see it. The best would be if it happened at night. I just picture a dark sky, lit up by lightning and the lightning lighting up all the snow around it. It must look amazing.

Here's the forecast for the Baltimore area. I have to say it sounds much better for that area than it does for here. Or worse. I don't know.

Oh, those Russians.

The Worst Video Game Ever?

Trying to pin down a "Worst Video Game Ever" would be a tough task. There are a number of factors (graphics, sound, playability, challenge, fun, control) to try to judge. And even if you could judge them, how could you weigh them? Would it be worse to have an Atari "giant block" mess with no soundtrack or a 64-bit game that's monotonous and boring. Would it be worse to have an 8-bit Nintendo game with a first level that can't be beaten or would it be worse to play a state-of-the-art computer game with a bug that causes your computer to crash? Is it worse to have a game consisting of a single boring level or would it be worse to have 8 boring levels?

And on top of the fact that it's a very tough, very subjective decision that depends on many disparate factors, it's also a decision that I would have no authority to speak about. I played as much as the next guy in the past but that would be about 1/10000 of 1% of all the games out there and my current average is 0 games per day.

Nevertheless, as hard as the decision is and as ill-informed as I am, I CAN say that if a contest for "Worst Video Game Ever Made" were to take place, the game "Plumbers Don't Wear Ties" should DEFINITELY be a finalist. It's just so clear that it's that bad. I'll allow the Angry Video Game Nerd to make the case in his review. A word of caution: this isn't safe for work.

Not the funniest review by any means but the badness of the "game" is at a level that has to be seen to be believed.

The Worst Impression In the World Or: Why Is Ashton Kutcher Famous?

Want to see the worst impression ever done on national television? Sure, we all do. It happened during a "The View" sketch in this week's SNL. Ashton Kutcher comes on as Mel Gibson...

And so here it is... Ashton Kutcher's "Mel Gibson impression" (if you feel the need to get right to it, skip to 3:40): [Embedding disabled so click here.]

.....

There it is. The worst impression by anyone ever.

But why is Ashton Kutcher hosting Saturday Night Live to begin with? If you feel you can justifiably answer that question, I invite you to watch the rest of the show and prove yourself to be 100% wrong in every way. He can't act. He's not funny. He can't deliver a joke. He can't dance, he can't sing, he exhibits no special talents of any kind whatsoever. I would question whether he can even read except that's the only way I can explain what he was doing in the sketches - staring at a cue card and reading the words he sees as he sees them. So there's no possible reason for him to be on SNL, but much more importantly there's no reason he should be famous at all. If my uncle had been the host of SNL this week, he'd of done a horrible job but it would still have made more sense than Ashton Kutcher.

The most annoying answer to the question, "How is Ashton Kutcher famous?" is that it's because he's married to Demi Moore. Is that really how it works though? If you marry someone famous you get to be in commercials, in movies, on tv or hosting SNL? Steven Spielberg's really famous, would it be a good idea for her to host SNL? I can do even better... Jamie Kennedy had a short-lived hidden camera show and is dating Jennifer Love Hewitt; Jamie Kennedy would make a great SNL host. How 'bout it?!

Super Bowl of Love II

As plugged in to popular culture as I tend to be, the Super Bowl is a giant disconnect. If someone asks me, "Did you see that one play where that one thing happened?" the answer is automatically, "No."

"Did you see that singer do that thing during the halftime show?"

"Nope."

"Did you see X, Y and Z commercials? I liked Y best." "Don't know what you're talking about. Didn't see any of them. I can't decide if small talk about commercials is even more inane, tedious and annoying to me than small talk about the weather. Uh oh, did I just say that out loud?"

That's because I've imposed a strict ban* on the Super Bowl for probably about a decade. One year me and a friend, in lieu of watching the Super Bowl, watched "Muppet Treasure Island". Another year me and another friend, in lieu of watching the Super Bowl that year, watched "Puppy Bowl I" on Animal Planet (narrated by the great Harry Kalas). Two of my favorite Super Bowl (or non-Super Bowl memories) of all-time. Later, there was a plan to watch "Follow that Bird" on Super Bowl night but I can't remember if we actually did that.

Having said that, did you see the one ad that aired during the Super Bowl???? In case you're like me, here it is:

* The exact ban is: I don't care about the Super Bowl if my team isn't in it. If my team was in the Super Bowl, I would not only watch, but agree that it would be the biggest sporting event of the year. Without my favorite team to root for, the whole thing is an over-hyped mass-produced, dumbed down, overblown corporate crapfest in my opinion where the game of football comes secondary to everything else.

Edit: The title is "Super Bowl of Love II" because the first one aired last year and can be seen here. The title is not just derived from the fact that it airs during the Super Bowl. I mean, that's obviously part of it, but it comes from a long running gag on the Late Show which would take too long to explain here.

Jordan Schlansky - House Buyer

With the move of the show to LA, Late Night Producer Jordan Schlansky is/was in the market to buy a house. In the first of these segments he discusses with Conan what he's looking for. In the second, he meets a Realtor and goes looking. There should be more of these but this was it. Perhaps he bought a house, perhaps they just decided to stop. Who knows what will happen now that the show is in complete limbo.

Both are hilarious and feature an increasingly rare phenomenon: Conan hangs out with Jordan and doesn't get drunk.

Jordan Discusses His Needs:

[Video Deleted by NBC]

Jordan and Conan Go House Shopping:

[Video Deleted by NBC]

I've been thinking of this post for a while as it's one of the great highlights of the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. But now that I started, it seems NBC has deleted all Tonight Show content from Hulu. Is this a smart television practice? When Johnny Carson "left" the Tonight Show did NBC hire an intern to go around and erase every Johnny Carson tape in the archive so that no one would ever see them again?

I do at least have the clips on my computer. However that does nothing for my blog. It's also nice that clips from Hulu account for almost the entirety of my blog. I have to rethink the whole thing.

NBC makes free money off of online viewings of its already "bought and paid for" content so they're essentially - as a business, mind you - choosing to not make money. Why didn't NBC leave the videos, collect the money and quickly set fire to it? Because that wouldn't screw over their viewers.

Classic Roots Choice #16

Michael Strahan is a guest on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. For him, The Roots play "The Space Between" by Dave Mathews Band. The lyrics were slightly tweaked however so that "the space between" refers to the gap in Strahan's teeth. Clever. The smooth song was punctuated with a shouted ending of "E-A-G-L-E-S! EAGLES!!!"

[Michael Strahan walks on and notices the Eagles logo bass drum]

Strahan: You know what, I see the Eagles drum Jimmy and I know that you're a big Jets fan. I respect the eagles, man, they were good for about five sacks a season.

Crowd: Oooooooooooooh!

Questlove: Kinda like your sitcom, huh?

Crowd: OOOOOH!

Strahan: We were good for about thirteen episodes! About as many albums as you sold last time.

Crowd: Ooooooh!

On a side note, how much crack do you have to inject directly into your brain to think that a sitcom starring Michael Strahan is a good idea? I mean, it's friggin Michael friggin' Strahan on the friggin' frig! My word. Bad language aside, they're still doing better than NBC.

They're a Garage Band... They Suck

For being geniuses in the studio, it does look like Radiohead are having a little trouble with their live set:

The best part is "Don't Stop Believing".

Apparently this is a new series/meme where [Band] Shreds [Song Title]. In my day "shredding" was good but I guess the new "hip" thing amongst all the kids is that it's bad. I don't understand the kids these days, what with their "8 tracks" and their "Leo Sayers".

See also: John Williams Shreds, Toto Shreds, The Mars Volta Shreds, Led Zepplin Shreds.

Happy Groundhog Day

It was yesterday but short of posting a clip from "Groundhog Day" (one of the most perfect movies ever made) there was nothing to say.

However, Captain Kirk of The Roots has apparently written a song about Groundhog Day. Jimmy is a bit wary because he thinks all of Kirk's songs are only about sex but I think it's all a matter of interpretation.

Incidentally, six more weeks of winter apparently.

LLLLLLOOOOOOSSSSSSTTTTTT!!!!!!

The final season of LOST begins tonight on ABC with a special two hour premier. We'll all hopefully remember and adjust to the fact that it's now airing every Tuesday for some reason. If you need a refresher on what's happened so far, see this informative video.

Here's a really good interview of Evangeline Lilly. It's always funny to watch her being interviewed by someone who doesn't understand the show (Letterman) but it's also fun to see her interviewed by someone who does. Nothing is revealed either way.

In the interview, she says that she recently turned 30. 30?! That's only one year older than me! My whole life has been wasted. [Speaking of wasted life, this is post #100 by the way.]

They briefly mention "The Hurt Locker" which is appropriate because she's only in it briefly. But it's a pretty good movie (and it'll almost certainly be nominated for Best Picture) - worth checking out if you're in the mood for an intense action/drama.

Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts

It's so simple but so ingenious. The Late Show sends away for actual "Oprah" transcripts from actual "Oprah" episodes and then has Late Show stagehands Pat Farmer and Kenny Sheehan act them out in dull monotone. One of the all-time great bits but only three episodes exist on youtube (two of the three recently added by a certain handsome devil). Woohoo, girl.

Oprah welcomes Celine Dion to her show:

Oprah welcomes Tina Turner to her show:

Oprah welcomes President George Bush to her show:

I've always wanted to actually send in for a transcript of "Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts" but never have. Maybe someday.