Flag Day

Well it's Flag Day again (or it was) and Kirk has written a song about it. In the past, all of Kirk's holiday-themed songs have been slightly on the side of inappropriate. But this one promises to be different. In the end, I think it's all in the interpretation.

Silent Film Story in the Monologue

No spoilers. Quite short. Will be deleted soon. Awesome.

The BP Oil Spill: An Anthem

Never let anyone tell you that the spirit of the sixties is dead. Jimmy Fallon, with special help from The Roots, has written a protest song concerning the BP oil spill in the gulf. And it's every bit as powerful as "If I Had a Hammer". Anyone who says any different is a commie. Power to the people.

Note: No one knows who the cowboy in the back is or where he comes from. When asked in an interview The Roots didn't even know what the person was talking about and we're shocked when they saw the video replay.

A Would-Be Viral Video

As an attempt at a bit, Jimmy Fallon gave Questlove, of Roots fame, a few popular clips from the web and asked him to "remix" them for the show. The "Watch Jimmy With Jimmy" webisode revealed that he was literally given these clips an hour before the show.

Watch the results here:

It's a crime that this is not an actual clip. Rather, it's linked as a "clip" that I made from the hulu video of the entire episode and will therefore be deleted in a few days. So sad. I love it.

Craig Kilborn Comes Back

In a Y2K scenario never envisioned by even the most eccentric theorist, it seems TV is reseting back to 1999. Conan and Craig Kilborn will both be getting new shows this year.

"The Kilborn File" will be a half hour show and will air on FOX at times between 6:30 and 7:30 (depending on your location). Kilborn will lead a panel of "experts" who will take a sideways look at the day's news and pop culture.

Disappointing that it's not a late night talk show. Even more disappointing is that it sounds like Extra, The Bill Maher Crapathon or even worse, TMZ.

But, judging books by covers such as it is, I'll be watching beginning June 28th. Here's hoping it's a half hour version of The Thanksgiving Roundtable.

Conan starts on TBS November 8th (NOVEMBER 8TH?! Yeah.) A special "Team Coco Presents Conan's Writers Live" will air June 17th.

American Idol - A Tribute

I don't know why, but Jimmy feels moved to sing a song in honor of "American Idol" with special guest Jake Gyllenhaal. Though not a fan myself, I have to admire the eloquent lyrics.

Watch Jimmy With Jimmy Week

We are right in the middle of "Watch Jimmy With Jimmy" Week. "What's that?", you may ask - or not, it doesn't matter, I get paid either way. Well, it's where Jimmy Fallon and members of his staff stay up and do a live video webchat while the day's episode of "Late Night" is currently airing.

It's billed as something akin to a "DVD Commentary" of the aired episode but that's not exactly what it is. It's more like a completely separate improvised show on the internet with its own spinning wheel of chat text as fans act like spastics. Jimmy got out the guitar and sang a few songs, they called one of the numbers posted on the chat and had a conversation and talked about how certain ideas came about. In tone it reminds me of hanging out in a dorm at 1 in the morning. It reminds me of that alot.

In the end it's easily skippable but it does have a cool vibe to it and it's definitely something different and interesting.

To view visit http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/exclusives/watch-jimmy-with-jimmy/ at 12:30AM.

M. Ward - Chinese Translation

A huge fan of the song, not the video as much.

LOST

The last episode of "Lost" aired tonight and it was pretty amazing. I don't have the time or energy to go into specifics but I thought it was beautiful. I thought after all the speculation and expectation the last episode was a "homerun". In fact, it was a "grand slam homerun". It was one of the greatest things I've ever seen on television... until the surprise ending. And, as so often happens, I still don't know how I feel about that last twist. And so it's hard to summarize - the first 99% was 110% awesomeness and then the end just left me confused.

I predicted the final "Lost" image but I only did that a few minutes before it happened and probably by then it was "obvious". I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner though. For years, Matthew Fox had said that he knew the last image of the series and it seems so obvious in retrospect, I can't believe I didn't think of it.

In regards to the final twist ending, I do have at least two clues. The first can be seen in Jimmy Kimmel's interview with the cast. The other comes from way back in Season 2. During WMMR's Lost discussion after Season 2 Episode 13 someone called in to talk about a specific book reference in that episode. Although at the time it was just another reference in a sea of references, I think it's now more relevant. Though certainly not a full explanation, it's at least significant I would say. More here.

I have to say, not all the drama was on-screen. I remember where I was and what was going on in my life when I started watching the show. And I remember what my life was like when I started watching the first season regularly. And everything that's happened to me since then up to this point (although it gets fuzzy in some of the middle parts). Looking back at the show and how the characters have changed made me look back at my own life and everything that's happened to me in that time and how my life has changed. I know that's a cliche but so be it. The only cliches I mind are ones that don't ring true.

Best television drama ever.

Late: The Final Episode

The seventh episode of "Late" aired the other day and to keep with heptatic structure, it was also the final episode. You don't need me to tell you that it pretty much lived up to expectations. Not all questions were answered (we still don't know the significance of the haircut or "the numbers") but I think they did a good job of proving that the whole series wasn't just "being made up as it went along".

I think people will be talking about the meaning of the final scene for years. I know I don't understand it.

Dude.

Yacht Rock 2K10: Epilogue

Friday was Yacht Rock 2K10. There were sailor's hats, sweaters around the neck, tropical drinks, sunsets, champagne and, of course, smooth music.

Below is Robbie Dupree and The Roots performing "Steal Away":

One special surprise was a special guest appearance by Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald aka J. D. Ryznar and Hunter D. Stair the two creators of the "Yacht Rock" series.

Motivational Post

It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now, if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime. So, where's the motivation?

Greece Woes Slow Jammed

The recent financial news out of Greece is deemed serious enough to slow jam:

Lost - Top Ten List

Lost creators/writers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse present a Top Ten List of Lost Series Finale "spoilers" on the Late Show. The Series Finale airs Sunday.

Special bonus: file under the banner "Dave Explains Things", Dave explains what the "Lost" series is all about.

#5 is one of the funniest Top Ten entries ever.

Lost - Intense Interview

Obviously Sunday is the Series Finale of "Lost" so, to promote the show, Matthew Fox was on Late Night. But instead of just fun and laughs, Jimmy Fallon decided to cut the bull and get to the bottom of things. And it got intense.

...Or at least he tried to. There's no recovering after that first answer. Friday is the Series Finale of "Late". Ought to be interesting.

By the way, Matthew Fox's walk-on music was the 20th Century Fox Fanfare.

Close Up Magic Week

The Late Show is in the middle of "Close Up Magic Week". It's an entire week where they have a different close up magician each night. The best "specialty week" will always be "Ventriloquist Week" but this is also a fun one.

Check out Jim Carney's performance on Tuesday. I can figure out some of it but some of it's just impossible.

The week continues tonight. Actually, tonight's whole show is big. They've got a Top Ten presented by the creators of "Lost", they've got another close up magician. Second guest is Russell Brand and musical guest is Stone Temple Pilots. That's my kind of show.

Hot Pocket

Jimmy Fallon is making a comeback. He was down for a while, but he went to Africa and discovered his all-new style. Plus, he's got something important to say:

If you don't understand the above joke, I feel sorry for you. But also, you can refer to this.

Yacht Rock 2K10

YACHT ROCK IS BACK - AND IN BULK. This Friday, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon will throw its second Yacht Rock party. The special musical guest will be Robbie Dupree who will sing his smooth hit "Steal Away". My first impression is that it's no comparison to Christopher Cross and Michael McDonald but we'll see how it goes.

Do You Have an Aunt?

Do you have an aunt? Do you have a mother? Do you have a grand-mother? If so, you can be the first to send this clip to them and probably score extra points (It's the least you can do. I mean, you don't call, you don't write, you NEVER visit, sometimes I think you don't care at all.) They'll love it.

And even if you're not an old woman (older woman, sorry!) it's worth a watch. I found it quite entertaining.

The important thing with toddlers is to start education early so they'll be ready when school starts. If you're wondering what his voice reminds you of - it's Elmo.

COOOOOOOOOONAN-->

With the current drought of Conan material, it feels like years since I've been in the "Cone Zone". 'Til now.

Google/Youtube did a 48 minute interview tour de force with the red-headed refugee. It's a great update and a reminder of why he belongs on network television.

SNL - Betty White

Betty White is a legend. There aren't many people left who have been ON television for the entire timespan OF television and she is one of them. In fact, she goes back to the days of radio. Pick a decade of television and she was involved. I can't get over that.

All of this makes it quite impressive and fitting that a facebook petition to get Betty White to host SNL actually succeeded.

The show was pretty good. In particular, I enjoyed the census sketch.

However, for my money this will always be THE census sketch:

You can see the full SNL episode for a limited time here.

The Office... EXTRAS

Here are some Office DVD Extra Feature clips that I hadn't seen before that I thought were really good.

David Brent Goes for a Drive / Archbishop of Canterbury

"Ricky had had one of his great 'IDEAS', as I like to call them..."

If You Don't Know Me By Now (Bloopers)

I love how he clearly knows how ridiculous everything he's doing is. Because he's right.

David Brent Date #2 with Director's Commentary

"Desperate bloke up for it. Any chance?"

Just a Little Poke... There'll Be No More AAAHHHH.

I was excited when I heard that Roger Waters was going to be on. I was disappointed when I found that he's not the musical guest. But, in the end, this is quite a good interview. Instead of the usual "I had a weird experience at an airport recently" celeb chat, Jimmy actually asks some serious and interesting questions about the history of Pink Floyd and some of the myths and legends. I find that when it comes to legendary musical guests, "geeking out" makes for great interviews.

Part 1:

Part 2:

There's no reason to divide this interview into two clips.

Wheel of Carpet Samples Goes Glacial

Before the Roger Waters interview, the Wheel of Carpet Samples just went glacial...

Spoiler Alert: Tonight's mystery sample is "Brown".

Part 1:

Part 2:

Full Disclosure: The sponsor of Wheel of Carpet Samples, batmaneatingataco.com is also a sponsor of this site.

Big Ups to the Hubble Space Telescope

The Hubble Telescope recently celebrated its 20th birthday and I just want to send it some massive props... big ups... due, due.

YEYEEYEYEE!

Classic Roots Choice #20

Brendan Fraser was on Jimmy Fallon and even though I do not and will never recognize Brendan Fraser as a celebrity, it was great hearing his walk-on music. The Roots played a little of "Degenerated" - the hit single from The Lone Rangers, the fictional heavy metal band in "Airheads". Classic.

Lost - The Theme Song

This is so stupid that I had to laugh. It's the new Lost opening!

Keep an eye out for the upcoming "Lost Nights".

This video lead me to another video:

And another:

The Downfall of an Era

Apparently, youtube has bowed to movie studio lawyers threatening to sue for copyright infringement over the Hitler "Downfall" parodies.

So obviously there's a Hitler video on youtube about Hitler videos be taken down from youtube. Fun things still happen on the internet. Enjoy it while you still can.

Watch the video here (problems with embedding).

Read the story here.

Classic Roots Choice #19

If Michael J. Fox were on YOUR show, what "walk-on" music would YOU play? How about you recreate the guitar solo from the "guitar solo" scene from "Back to the Future"?! You know, the one that takes place at the rhythmic ceremonial ritual! The only possible downside is that it could be too much awesome for the viewer to handle. But they're willing to take that risk. Are you?

Available for a limited time only. Skip to 22:15

FYI - The whole interview is pretty entertaining if you have the time.

And Now It's Time To Play.... "Say What?!"

It is DIFFERENT.

It is UNIQUE.

Do I see it someday finding its way onto "The Price Is Right"? Hmmm... hard to say...

Part 1:

Part 2:

The Top Ten Monkees Songs of All-Time of the World

It's time to count down the top ten Monkees songs as voted by me. "The Monkees" was one of my favorite shows as a kid, but after revisiting it recently I've found that the comedy doesn't age as well as one would hope. There's still something to be said for the madcap zaniness but like many things, it's not the same as it was when I was a kid. Fortunately, the music fairs much better.

It should be noted - and not many people know - that the Monkees released 11 albums. Yes, that's right, 11 full-length albums. And in addition to the 11, each solo member has released several albums of their own. So, obviously, to count down an official top ten, from the full back catalog would be a whole research project of its own. But this post shall focus on the top ten songs amongst those that aired on the television show "The Monkees" which ran for two seasons and almost 60 episodes. This much research has been done: I've personally watched every episode.

Before counting down begins, the myths that the Monkees "weren't a real band" and "didn't play their own instruments" should be discussed. The Monkees were a group that were specifically assembled for the purpose of a television show (yielding the phrase "the pre-fab four"). In that sense, it is very true that they were a set up, "made for tv" band. Still, when a group of musicians get together to write and record songs as well as tour and play concerts, I think that makes them a "real" band regardless of how they first met.

More serious is the charge that they didn't play their instruments. This does have a kernel of truth. Due to the limited technical skill of the Monkees initially, extensive use of studio musicians was made. Their first album especially, is predominantly studio musicians. However, contrary to popular belief, the Monkees could and did play their instruments on many if not most of their songs. Through the run of the show the various band members fought and gradually gained the right from their corporate bosses to actually play on their own records. Furthermore, using studio musicians was very much the norm for the times. Bands never characterized as being "fake" (the Byrds, the Beach Boys) used session musicians in much the same way. Heck, Paul McCartney doesn't play the trumpet on "Penny Lane" - oh my gosh, controversial!

At the time of the formation of the television show, Michael Nesmith and Peter Tork were already small-time singer-songwriters (Tork being a member of Buffalo Fish who later became Buffalo Springfield) and Davy Jones had starred in musicals. Micky Dolenz already knew how to play guitar but was forced to take up the drums (and learn the drums) for the purposes of the band. This in itself makes for some pretty bad miming during the musical numbers and added fuel to the "fake band" claim. In fact, if each instrument had gone to the most suited member it would have been Michael Nesmith on bass, Peter Tork on lead guitar, Davy Jones on drums and Micky Dolenz on vocals. But the bottom line is that, while not virtuoso instrumentalists by any stretch of the imagination, nevertheless the Monkees could play their own instruments and did play their own instruments and were a real band.

Partly to dispel the rumors that they couldn't play (and partly to make loads of cash) the Monkees actually toured and sold out stadia (plural of stadium, you see) across the U.S. and around the world. Interestingly, their opening act in the Summer of 1967 was none other than Jimi Hendrix. I kid you not. Dolenz tells the story, with embarrassment, of Jimi Hendrix's performance of "Foxy Lady" being drown out by chants of "We want Davy!".

I should note on the outset that in linking the top ten songs, I've picked the youtube videos with the best sound quality over the ones with video clips from the show. Here we have a group that were forerunners of MTV and the Music Video format and yet in many cases I'm only showcasing the audio of the records. Bit o' irony there. Actually - a bit of trivia - not only did the television show pave the way for music television, but Michael Nesmith is, in fact, actually credited for directly inventing the concept of the 24-hour music video channel.

10.) Randy Scouse Git

Written by Dolenz, the title "Randy Scouse Git" is British slang which translates to "Horny idiot from Liverpool". The lyric "the four kings of EMI sitting stately on the floor" refers to Dolenz's meeting with The Beatles. (Though criticized for ripping off The Beatles, The Beatles themselves weren't offended. John Lennon said he enjoyed "The Monkees" comparing them to the Marx Brothers. They were even invited to Abbey Road to sit in on the Sgt. Pepper recording sessions. Michael Nesmith can be briefly seen in the video for "A Day In the Life" [at 3:33] and Peter Tork would later play the banjo on Harrrison's "Wonderwall Music" album). The thing that strikes me most about this song is that it so clearly exhibits the "loud, quiet, loud" dynamic that would be popularized by punk and grunge 20 and 30 years later.

9.) Valleri

One of the Monkees' bigger hits. Initially the Monkees themselves did only the vocals (the guitar is a giveaway) but later versions were made with the Monkees playing and producing.

8.) Daily Nightly

Written and performed by Micky Dolenz, this is arguably the first pop song to utilize a Moog synthesizer (Dolenz was actually the third person in the world to own one). I love the experimental, psychedelic feel of this song. I know the Monkees were following the 2:30 length pop song format of the time but still I really wish this song was much longer.

7.) (I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone

Another of their major hits.

6.) (Theme from) The Monkees

It's the song played in each of the episodes and yet it could easily overlooked. You have to admire a song that's so catchy yet can be listened to over and over and over and not get old. It probably helps that the version you're repeatedly hearing is only 50 seconds in length, of course.

5.) I'm a Believer

YOU BET YOUR BALLS THIS SONG IS WRITTEN BY NEIL DIAMOND. Amazingly this single sold over a million copies in two days and was the biggest hit of the year (1967). One of their major hits and such a good song that even Smashmouth couldn't ruin it (completely).

4.) Goin' Down

Written by all the Monkees collectively, you gotta love the great jazz/R&B feel and the excellent vocals. Reportedly the song is about a drunken man who decides to kill himself by jumping into a river and immediately regrets his decision as he's "going down".

3.) Last Train to Clarksville

Another of the Monkees big hits, its chipper, up-beat melody disguises much darker lyrical content. Though not really a "protest" song, the song is about the sacrifice of soldiers and their families. The singer of the song has been drafted and is about to be deployed. His significant other should "take the last train to Clarksville" and meet him at the train station so that he can see her one last time. And the punchline is the last line: "And I don't know if I'm ever coming home."

2.) Daydream Believer

Another of the major hits. This song was actually written by John Stewart formerly of The Kingston Trio. Though made in the early years where the Monkees did very little instrumentation on their records, Nesmith handles lead guitar while Peter Tork wrote and performed the piano part. This one could be criticized as being too schmaltzy or light weight (and I can see their point) but I can't help but like it and it's my list.

And Finally....

1.) Pleasant Valley Sunday

Well, what can I say? My favorite Monkees track. While perfectly catchy, it's happy if you want it to be happy, it's slightly world-weary if you want it to be melancholic. It perfectly captures and elicits the feeling of a Summer day in suburbia. Co-written by Carole King with a fantastic "psychedelic 60's distortion" ending and a sweet guitar riff.

Karl's Only Goal

Although I shan't make a habit of deriving blog posts from old emails sent to me, this one seems to make sense.

"The Ricky Gervais Show" on HBO is halfway through its first season and has been successful enough to earn a second season.

But before there was a show on HBO, there was a podcast. And before there was a podcast there was a radio show on XFM, a London radio station.

After recommending the shows to my friend Justin, I shortly thereafter found two new emails in my inbox. Showing trademark enthusiasm, both emails were from Justin, both were about the same subject and both were sent within a span of 8 minutes. Having just started the "fifth" episode, he sent a link to the audio used in the video below. He said, "You gotta listen to it again, I think it's my favorite clip."

[Dead Original Video Removed, Replaced with Equivalent]

Late Night Charades

If I was a writer for a Late Night talk show and someone proposed to me that they were going to have a "Charades" segment, I'd smile politely and wait for the police to arrive and drag that person to a sanitarium using one of those giant nets. It sounds crazy but somehow it works as a fun mixture of comedy and game show.

Part 1:

Part 2:

CLASH OF THE TITANS.

Olivia Munn: Apathetic Dancing

We're going to keep this on a professional level. We're all adults here - there's no reason to devolve into "laddish", bawdy language or any types of ribald innuendo. One can express admiration without blue language or prurient, coarse suggestions or even any type of libidinous sentiment. We don't need to resort to salaciousness. There's just no call for it....

Olivia Munn is nice.

With that out of the way, she recently appeared on Jimmy Fallon to promote her new book, the tv show "Attack of the Show", the movie "Date Night" and "Iron Man 2". In addition to another funny interview she also unveils a new style of dancing which I'm calling "Apathetic Dancing". I like it. I hope it catches on.

See the interview here (embedding disabled, waah waaah). Be warned: this is not an Alan Thicke-Free discussion.

The C.O.B. on TBS?! Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday?!

It's official: Conan is not going to Fox, like most expected, and instead going to cable station TBS. WHAT?!

Read the article here.

I'm not a fan of any network nor do I really hate any (oh, MTV is an exception) so I don't care as far as that goes but this is particularly tragic to me in that he's going to cable and I don't have cable. My only hope would be that the episodes would be available online (like the previous hulu deal) but I can't see that possibility as very likely as they want people to have to subscribe to cable to watch the cable content.

The other weird thing is that it's going to only be 4 shows a week. Huh?! That doesn't really make any sense.

Conan? 4 shows a week on a cable channel? I don't like it. Do it over.

Japanese Train

The brochure for this train reads (in Japanese): "Your day is stressful but your commute shouldn't be. This spacious, luxurious train includes full-size leather seats and adjustable foot rests. It's an oasis of comfort in the middle of your day. If half the magic work you do, step away with loud report."

Avatar II Trailer

I wasn't a huge fan of "Avatar" - I found it to be a good movie but not quite as amazing or revolutionary as a lot of other people found it to be.

But judging by the early teaser trailer, "Avatar II" is looking like something to get excited about.

Spring! Music!

The following songs are all songs that I emotionally and psychologically associate with Spring. The change of seasons, the warmer weather, the idea that there's still plenty of the school year left but the end is in sight - it's all here. ROCK.

If it's nice out listen to these songs whilst enjoying the sunshine. If it's not, listen and pretend it is.

Talking Heads - Nothing But Flowers

(The above takes me right back to my senior year in high school. I had ordered the Best of the Talking Heads CD online and listened to it a lot while making an entire website for a school project using Frontpage. Those were the days.)

Passenger - Walk You Home

(The above takes me straight back to 2007. That's probably too recent to reminisce.)

The Lemonheads - If I Could Talk I'd Tell You

(The above takes me right back to 1997 or thereabouts... it takes me there but whilst there I don't have access to a calendar. Ah, to be back in the '90s.)

Elbow - Scattered Black and Whites

(Takes me back to 2001. Working a summer job by day (I say "working" though it was really more like "surfing the internet and then leaving after 8 hours") and hanging with friends in the evenings.)

Radiohead - Maquiladora

(It's oft been said that Radiohead's B-Sides are better than other bands' A-Sides. S'truth. Takes me back to 1998. In those days there was a webpage with every Radiohead B-Side listed and each had a link to download the song right off the webpage. Those days are gone, eh? I went through the B-Sides endlessly while exploring the new "internet" and trying out new Winamp "skins".)

The fact that 3/5 bands have the word "head" in the title is completely coincidental. A different 3/5 are British. Also coincidence.

The Holy Grail of Video

I've been looking for this video for years and never found it... until now. Every "Best Of" Late Night with Conan O'Brien compilation always includes a short clip of the early days when David Letterman came on as a guest. But it was always the same short clip, never a full interview. Online, any youtube upload would be deleted. In fact, I personally had a video deleted just because it contained about 5 seconds of the interview. With the short clip edited out, the video was allowed. For years, the best thing I saw was when someone posted a transcription of the interview online. Not quite the same and that, too, is gone.

But now, thanks to a tip off from someone on youtube, the clip is online. For me it's the Holy Grail of online videos, not because it's the funniest or best but because of the rarity and historical value.

Watch it or don't watch it. Choose. But choose wisely.

Late Night Homecoming from janeway529 on Vimeo.

For context, Conan explains the significance of this interview and what it meant to him and his career here (starting at 3:40).

Jimmy Fallon : WTF

WHAT... IN.... THE ..... WORLD?!

Or should I say, "WHERE... IN THE... WORLD?!"

Either way, I just don't know.

Fun With Area Codes

It has become tradition that within the intro theme song of "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" the Roots insert the current episode number. Starting with (I think) episode #209 they started adding something else - they also say the city which has that number as its area code. So, #209 was "2-0-9 Modesto!" and show #210 went, "2-1-0 San Antonio!".

Tonight is significant. Tonight is episode #215 - my area code. Ought to be interesting to see if my town gets a shout out.

Late Night: Boring Interview

Coincident with my previous post which centers on quiet boredom, Jimmy Fallon and Ted Danson decide to reprise the famous (infamous) "Whittle Interview" with a new "Boring Interview". It's very much an "art piece" but I think it works. I like it.

Tip: Double click the clip to watch un-embedded so that you get the full wide-screen.

Boring Interview

Spring and Harry Kalas

"Yet seemed it winter still, and you away,
As with your shadow I with these did play." - Sonnet 98

By calendar, the first day of Spring happens on between March 19th and March 23rd ever year. And yet for me the exact day of Spring has no set appointment. Spring begins on a Saturday afternoon when it's 70 degrees out and sunny. It's warm but not hot and it's the first day you open the windows and let the occasional breeze sift through the house. The best thing on tv is baseball. But not just baseball, pre-season baseball. If one were to take everything boring about the game of baseball and then subtract from that all the excitement, would you would be left with would be pre-season baseball. Calling the game is Harry Kalas. His rich baritone and the humming white noise of the non-crowd suggest that it might feel good to rest your eyes for a bit... Slipping back into consciousness again after an indeterminate amount of time, it's the 6th inning... Harry Kalas: "Walked 'im..." and Dave Hollins strolls lazily to first base. Nothing to see here, eyes closed once again...

And so it was... the exact moment when Spring had begun for the year, every year. And every year, every single detail - aside from Dave Hollins - could be counted on and looked back upon in each of the specific instances from last year, to being a teenager in high school to being 8 years old watching with my dad.

When Harry Kalas passed away last year, people said his voice was the soundtrack to their Summer. These weren't just kind words, they were the literal truth. When people said, "It won't be Summer without Harry" it was just an expression, it is the exact predicament I find myself in. How do I feel that Spring is here?

"Well," I figured, "if I could find a clip on the internet of sufficient mundanity and length, I could watch it as self-therapy and link it for others." But, alas, to the best of my internet searching skills, no such clip exists. There are tons of Harry Kalas tributes, there's Harry calling Mike Schmidt's 500th homerun, there's Harry making the calling 2008 World Series call, etc. Those are not just good, they're great but they're the essence of Fall, not Spring. I need a clip of Harry making calls when nothing is on the line and nothing significant happens. I need the sound of sweet monotony, when everything is completely ordinary in every way, when Harry's voice is the aural equivalent of a hammock with a sinky middle and a glass of lemonade on the ground.

Here's hoping that sometime before next year someone uploads old Phillies game footage which is completely ordinary in every way. Until then it won't be the same. We may spend 99% of our lives avoiding the dull, avoiding the monotonous, alleviating boredom, and yet here I am wishing it back - at least in this small measure. I think it's because it offers some comforting illusions that become increasingly rare as one gets older. Hearing Harry Kalas call baseball on lazy, sunny Saturday afternoons, life isn't hard, life is easy. Things don't change, things basically stay the same. Life isn't short, life is long. Time doesn't move fast, time moves slow... if at all.

MARCH MADNESS

It's March Madness time again and it feels good. Other than Christmas this just be my favorite time of the year. Time to fill out the brackets and watch them all get blown up for great justice.

Click on the image below for the brackets:

Here are my picks:

First Round Winners:

Dog Plays Dead

Dog Says I Love You

Dog Spins on Applause

Dog Trims Tree (Upset)

Bug Eyed Lady

Woman Spits Gum, Sucks It Back

Lady Scratches Eyeballs (Upset)

and Man Squirts Milk Out Of Eye advances easily.

Round Two Winners

Dog Says I Love You (Upset)

Dog Trims Tree

Woman Spits Gum, Sucks It Back over Bug Eyed Lady in a huge upset

Man Squirts Milk Out Of Eye

Final Round:

Dog Says I Love You vs. Woman Spits Gum, Sucks It Back

Champion: Woman Spits Gum, Sucks It Back

As you can tell, this year I thought I would go out on a limb and take a few chances here but as I always say, "Go big or go home."

Vote for a new matchup each day here.

JAZZERCISE...

Last night the Late Show had Snoop Dogg on to do a Top Ten list ("Top Ten Things That Sound Cool When Spoken By Snoop Dogg").

Typical "Top Ten" list. Not really anything to write home about. I'm still embedding it here because the first minute of the clip shows Dave in the midst of tweeting. But it reminded me of possibly the best "Top Ten" list of all-time.... "Top Ten Things That Sound Romantic When Spoken By Barry White".

Observe:

One of the best Top Ten concepts ever. It doesn't matter how many times I see the clip, I ALWAYS laugh at #10 and #9. Classic, classic, classic.

Jimmy Kimmel on Letterman; Twitter

Jimmy Kimmel was a guest on Letterman last night and it delivered exactly what I was hoping for: a discussion on the "Jay Leno Scandal".

The whole interview was funny and quite entertaining though. Last night felt like it should be called "The Twitter Show" as Dave fired up his "twitter machine" and sent tweets all throughout the night. Not during commercials though - he would be talking to a guest, go silent, turn around to the other side of his desk, hunch over the keyboard and type right in the middle of an interview. I almost feel like I subscribe to his tweets just by watching the show. The following were tweeted during the show:

2400 dollars for a wax figure? Hell, I got that on me. Ha Ha!

1:18 PM Mar 16th via web

"My nephew done ate six pieces of chicken already"

1:03 PM Mar 16th via web

"Everything's in slow motion"

12:52 PM Mar 16th via web

Testing. Testing!

12:49 PM Mar 16th via web

He has problems with slow typing though. Apparently they got him a left-handed keyboard.

Classic Roots Choice #18

Jason Sudekis - And The Roots play "Young Chuck Norris".

[Video Deleted]

Maybe not that obscure but still, when The Roots play it, it's awesome.

An interesting event happens tonight, (Tuesday) David Letterman welcomes Jimmy Kimmel to his show. Ought to be somewhat interesting since they're competitors and both talk show hosts.

Movie Title

Short description about a soon-to-be-released movie and my expectations. Reaction to the trailer.

Invitation to watch the trailer:

Final thoughts.

Classic Roots Choice #17

There have been a number of walk-on songs which were gray areas as to whether they deserved a blog post. For instance, Mike Meyers was on Friday night's show and the Roots played the "Halloween" theme (Mike Meyers/Halloween, yeah).

But the guest after Mike Meyers made it a "no brainer". Matt Lucas, of Little Britain fame was on to promote "Alice in Wonderland". For him, The Roots played "The Peanut Song" (unofficial title).

If you haven't seen heard it on the youtubes, it goes a little something like this:

Yes, it's just that stupid. That is one hot backing track.

It's possible they "cheated" and just did a youtube search for possible songs. But if not, I am extremely impressed. I'm a fan of "Little Britain" and, by extension, Matt Lucas, and I was only barely aware of this clip so if they genuinely knew about it, my hat is off to them... again.

Saved By The Bell: OUT. California Dreams: IN.

It's officially been over a year since Jimmy Fallon began hosting "Late Night" and for most of that time his dream has been to finally reunite the cast of "Saved By The Bell". He has failed and admitted defeat. But now, his new dream is to reunite the cast of the NBC Saturday morning show "California Dreams".

The attempt was not without controversy and not without a shirtless dude. Also, with the "California Dreams" reunion, I expected a great time at the beach... sans Mr. Belding... Let's watch...

Can I make a suggestion? The next show reunion needs to be, absolutely HAS TO BE the NBC Saturday morning show "Hang Time". Make it happen.

"SKEEZAS DISSIN' HOMEY SCRUBS!"

"CHICKEN HEEEAAAAADD!!!!!!!!"