Late Night - 10/28 Greatest Show Ever?

The Late Night episode from Thursday, October 28th was unusually good. It may be the best "Late Night" ever (of the Jimmy Fallon era). The show had "Remix the Clips", "Head Swap Vol. 6", "If Puppies Could Vote" and the first guest was Dana Carvey who's one of the best guests any talk show could have. Plus, The Roots collaborated with Mr. Carvey on a performance of "Choppin' Broccolli" - one of my favorite skits of all-time.

I couldn't decide whether to post a whole bunch of the clips of the show or just the full episode so I'm doing both.

If you have some spare time, I highly recommend you watch the full episode here.

Otherwise:

Remix The Clips Part 1:

Remix The Clips Part 2:

Head Swap Vol. 6:

Dana Carvey - Choppin' Broccolli

Puppies Predict Politics:

St. Crispin's Day

Today, October 25th is St. Crispin's Day.

At the end of "This is Spinal Tap", Michael McKean makes the joke that there was a St. Hubbins. "What was he the saint of?"

"He was the patron saint of quality footwear."

It's a funny concept and a good line but the odd thing is that it's not that ridiculous. Today is St. Crispin's Day which celebrates St. Crispin (obviously). What was he the patron saint of? Cobblers (shoemakers).

But never mind that silliness, he ought to be the patron saint of awesome speeches.

"

WESTMORELAND.

O that we now had here

But one ten thousand of those men in England

That do no work to-day!

KING.

What's he that wishes so?

My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin.

If we are mark'd to die, we are enow

To do our country loss; and if to live,

The fewer men, the greater share of honour.

God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.

By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,

Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;

It yearns me not if men my garments wear;

Such outward things dwell not in my desires;

But if it be a sin to covet honour,

I am the most offending soul alive.

No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.

God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour

As one man more, methinks, would share from me

For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!

Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,

Let him depart. His passport shall be made,

And crowns for convoy put into his purse.

We would not die in that man's company

That fears his fellowship to die with us.

This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,

Will stand a tip-toe when this day is named,

And rouse him at the name of Crispian.

He that shall live this day, and see old age,

Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,

And say, "To-morrow is Saint Crispian."

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,

And say, "These wounds I had on Crispian's day."

Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,

But he'll remember with advantages

What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,

Familiar in his mouth as household words,

Harry the King, Bedford, and Exeter,

Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,

Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.

This story shall the good man teach his son;

And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be remembered,

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

This day shall gentle his condition;

And gentlemen in England now a-bed

Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

"

Cheer Up, Phillies Phans

Well, given how devastated we Philies fans are, I figured I'd make a post to help get us through the darkness. But before I do that, let's dwell on the negative first.

Our team lost to a team who has a fat guy playing third base.

OUR TEAM LOST TO A TEAM WHO FIELDS A FAT GUY AT THIRD BASE. Look at this guy:

We lost to that guy. No team should ever lose an athletic competition when the other team has a fat guy. Would you lose a 100 yard dash to Rerun from "What's Happening!!"? No, you wouldn't. You might lose a dancing competition, but not a sprint. So painful. And I didn't even mention that their best pitcher is a 14-year-old homeless girl. FACT. Ugh.

So onwards and upwards, I s'pose.

First, as bad as this loss is, and as pathetic I am for investing so much emotion into a sports team, we can all take much comfort in the fact that our patheticness (a word?) isn't even close to the level that this guy achieves:

Secondly, this passed season, lest we forget, was the season of the little Phillies-fan-who-throws-the-foul-ball-back viral video. But less well known is the segment in which Daniel Tosh digs deeper and allows them to redeem themselves.

Tosh.0	Weds 10:30pm / 9:30c
Web Redemption - Phillies Fan
www.comedycentral.com
Tosh.0 Videos Daniel Tosh Web Redemption

That's gotta put anybody in a better mood.

And finally. Cheer up, NBC, ya just gotta. Because even as we speak, the NBC casting department is still hard at work to find the new Seinfeld:

Wait, was that my point? Ah anyways, I still feel pretty crappy. GOOOOORRRRRNUTTTS!

STELLLLAAAA!!!!!

Simply put, "Stella" is perhaps the weirdest sitcom in the history of television and is therefore highly recommended. Although Netflix, and even IMDB, list the show as "sketch comedy" it's clearly not and they're stupid. It's a sitcom but "sitcom" in the tradition of the Marx Brothers/Three Stooges with a definite hint of Monty Python (ok, saying that it's like a sketch comedy show isn't helping the fact that I said it's not a sketch comedy. It definitely isn't.)

The show follows three men who live together (one of which is Michael Ian Black of "I Love the '80s" fame) and wear suits in every life situation. Yes, that's my synopsis of the show. The rest has to be seen. Oh yes, and it's very different.

If you do check it out (available now on Netflix instant) you'll probably spend most of the first episode trying to figure out what you're watching exactly. Don't panic. That's normal. Stick with it. The second and third episodes are epic. If those episodes don't strike you, you can give up on the show and I question your judgement.

"Stella" aired on Comedy Central in 2005 and was cancelled after only one season. This show is yet another in a line of brilliant television shows that were cancelled way too prematurely and that I've only found out about through Netflix years after the fact. Even today, as far as I can tell, no one knows about this show. Now you're in on the ground floor. Spread the word, see.

Hugh Laurie Is Dead

In this introduction to an episode of "A Bit of Fry and Laurie", Hugh Laurie dies tragically and is remembered by those who know him best.

Love the cameo by Rowan Atkinson to take the skit over the top.

Pauses Are Important

News anchor demonstrates why temporary pauses are important:

Wait... what happened to Dana?! I just saw him on the news the other night! This is awful. Why are you so calm?!

Monkey News

As has been covered in the past, big fan of Ricky, Steve and Karl.... Radio show, podcast, TV shows, all the rest of it.

For the uninitiated, the "Monkey News" feature is always real, it's always factual, it's as hard-hitting and solid as the normal news. It's just with monkeys. So without further ado... OOOH, CHIMPANZEE THAT! MONKEY NEWS!

Historical Note: The "Monkey News" story that serves as the source material for this fan animation comes from the early days of "Monkey News". The monkey that drove to Spain would be a high water mark (low water mark) against which many "Monkey News" stories would be judged.

Late Night - Pee Wee Highlights

Apologies for the slow loading time due to all the videos, apologies also for all the commercials but it's the best way I can do this. Some highlights from Pee Wee Herman's appearance on Late Night:

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Reference.

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Second Guest:

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Musical Guest Ben Folds:

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I love the secret word.

Between Two Ferns

I kind of forgot to keep up with "Between Two Ferns", the most awkward talk show in the world, but fortunately they don't release new episodes often. This is one of the newer ones and I thought it was particularly..... good?

Between Two Ferns with Bruce Willis

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Bruce Willis from Bruce Willis

This is my favorite episode so far:

Between Two Ferns with Steve Carell

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Steve Carell from Between Two Ferns

Such great acting. The reversal where Zach plays it straight and Steve makes the insults about himself is so well done and I could watch them fighting all day.

Beatles 3000

In the year 3000, archeologists look back at the Beatles:

Beatles 3000 - watch more funny videos

My Morning Webcast

My Morning Jacket will be doing a webcast for the Late Show on Tuesday, October 12th at 8 PM. From the Late Show website: "The Kentucky rockers will be performing songs from their most recent CD, 'Evil Urges,' along with their greatest hits, live from the Ed Sullivan Theater."

"Songs" plural and "greatest hits" plural? Sounds like a mini concert. Awesome. Keep in mind this is a webcast and is therefore online. My Morning Jacket will be on Tuesday's episode of the Late Show however you'll only see one song (with a slight, slight outside chance of two songs).

Link.

As mentioned above My Morning Jacket are promoting their new album which I've not heard but I'll definitely check it out. I'm liking their new band photo (above) influenced by The Band much?

Not that I'm complaining.

BLOG BONUS:

This Week In Late Show History - This week in 1991, Richard Simmons offers Dave a check for $25,000 to appear in his video, "Devil with the Blue Dress On"; Dave accepts the check but refuses the invite. Later in the show he signs the check over to guest Kathryn Harrold."

The United States of Space

This video is amazing and yet amazingly simple. "Let's go to space with some string and a toothpick", they say and then set about to do it.

The right edge gets cut off, double click to view on Youtube.

A No-Judging Party

This band has all the elements of the worst band ever. You got way too many members (it's like 30 people on stage), they got d-bag-style plastic sunglasses, there's choreographed audience participation, they got auto-tuning (my word!), they even have a Kenny G saxophone. I want to say, "5 strikes guys". Plus I think that guy in the back left isn't even playing an instrument, he's just there to dance a little and hope he still gets paid. And yet this is why you can't make solid rules with music. Because based on the music, I really, really like this song. I don't know anything about the band but I'll have to check them out.

Gayngs - The Gaudy Side of Town

[Original Video Deleted: Gayngs on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon]

Deadwood

"If I'm to go, I'd as soon get started before the darkness."

"Goin' means the darkness is upon us."

Having just watched all 36 episodes of "Deadwood", I venture it to be one of the best dramas ever made. It's one of my favorite shows of all time, I reckon.

A period western made by HBO from 2004 - 2006, the show tells the story of the goings-on of Deadwood (now of South Dakota) from 1876-1877. As Season 1 begins, Deadwood, as a town, doesn't belong to any U.S. territory and is therefore outside the jurisdiction of ANY government. The only law is that there is no law. And being "in the state of nature" (in Lockean terms) every man is his own police officer, judge, jury and executioner. Murder, prostitution, gambling, thievery, drug use and profanity abound.

No discussion of "Deadwood" would be worth its salt if it didn't mention the profanity. This is the most filthy language you'll probably ever see on any television show... ever. It's estimated that the word "fuck" alone is said 1.53 times for every minute of runtime. The characters generally make Jeff Lebowski look like a school teacher. This is one area where the creators of the show chose to not be true to the time period. That is, the swear words used in the show didn't exist in the 1800's. But this is understandable as any characters going around saying "goldarned", etc. are likely to be laughed at - which would have detracted from the reality of the situation. Not just the type of profanity but the amount of it was an artistic choice. If the characters live in a world without rules - the thinking goes - then their speech should reflect that. The "shock value" of the language serves to draw the viewer into the reality of a lawless world.

But the delightful contradiction of the language of "Deadwood" is that it's simultaneously profane and beautiful. All the while that the characters' language is injected with effin' and jeffin' the writing is almost Shakespearean. Soliloquies, literary references, visual imagery, wit, word play, the "western" use of metaphor and the vocabulary of period language all combine to create dialog that's almost poetic. As in Shakespeare, people today don't sound like the characters in "Deadwood" but you'll wish that they did. It's lyrical to the ear whether the content of the meaning is clever, funny or brutal.

"Deadwood" contains all the usual "western" elements (prostitution, drugs, gun slinging, revenge), but  the show is really primarily about characters. The first few episodes set up 12+ fully-formed three-dimensional characters, each with their own logic, motivations, past history, loves and loyalties. Then it places them in the same town at the same time and then it seemingly "let's them go". Like molecules in a vacuum, they bounce off each and react in every possible way, forming alliances, forming grudges, falling in love, fighting, and so on. The show is a complicated and constantly evolving web of loyalty and conflict. The expected western "good guys and bad guys" routine is partially adopted, at first, but (as previously noted) all of the characters are multi-dimensional. As the show progresses, the "good guys" will do bad things and the "bad guys" will do good things. Well into the series, the lines will  disappear and the viewer will be left with characters without convenient labels.

The writing, acting and characters are so superb and the plot so addictive, it came as a slight shock to me that "Deadwood" is based on actual history. Deadwood, South Dakota is a real town. Former lawman Seth Bullock, "Wild Bill" Hickok and "Calamity" Jane were real people and really did arrive and live in Deadwood in 1876 (Season 1). Saloon owner Al Swearengen, Charlie Utter, Sol Star, George Hearst, again, are all characters and all real people. Some days after arriving, Bill Hickok was assassinated by "the cowardly" Jack McCall just as depicted in the show. In mid-1877 (Season 3) former lawmen Wyatt Earp and his brother arrived in Deadwood - again, actually history. And each episode of the show roughly translates to one historical day. But, it should be noted that the show is not a documentary and it is not meant to be. Historically accurate accounts of the "wild west" are impossible as the history is inextricably entangled in myth and legend. The point is that any level of historicity adds that much more richness to an already-amazing show.

For all its splendor, there is one notable weakness to the series. The show was cancelled abruptly and without warning by HBO after just its third season. This means that although there is some closure in the sense that the season ends, there is no real closure to the series. The plot builds to an unbelievable tension but is left somewhat unresolved as the creators fully expected to make another season. It's a huge disappointment that such a great show was cancelled and that we'll only ever have 3 seasons. Perhaps I don't have a right to be angry. Afterall, I've only started watching the show 6 years after it went off the air - I can only assume few people were watching when it was new. Even now, I don't think it's really caught on with people - certainly not the general public. Even so, HBO, usually so good at recognizing quality, definitely blew it when they cancelled this show. It's an example of dramatic writing and acting at their best. It's a brilliant gold nugget in the increasingly played out mine known as television.

Thank You Notes

Fridays Jimmy Fallon catches up on some personal stuff by sending out 'Thank You' notes.

Seriously, how often does one get to do one's Jackée impression? Almost never and it's unfair. "227" just isn't the topical reference that it used to be. Perhaps it'll make a comeback with the new "Jackée as Lunch Lady Gaga" character.

Shhh, don't tell anyone but the censors forgot to bleep this clip.

Slow Jam The News - Tax Cuts

Fallon, The Roots and Brizzle (AKA Bri-Fi, AKA B Stone, AKA Billy Wills) slow jam the news. Today's topic: the Bush tax cuts set to expire.

Instant Classic: "The Room"

I consider myself quite a connoisseur of bad movies. If someone asks me to put together a list of the 10 worst movies of all-time, I feel I can make a list that's pretty authoritative. But I think it's a fact of life that they're just not making bad movies like they used to.

But that doesn't mean that there aren't exceptions. "The Room", from what I've seen from online clips, has me very excited. This movie, at least potentially, could be up there on the list of worst movies of all time.

Check out this clip (the "flower shop scene"):

Amazing. So it's got the "snappy dialogue" department covered, but how about this dramatic reveal:

GASP! Thrill to the intense conflict within this scene:

Amazing. I definitely need to see this movie.

Can You Feel the Love?

Here's hoping you can...

Celebrities + Gum = Art

Every afternoon Late Show writer Steve Young takes low quality pictures of celebrities as the arrive to the show. The window ledge from which the photos are taken has a wad of old gum on it which he is sure to capture in the photo. This interesting juxtaposition has given birth to a new blog: http://www.celebrigum.com/.

Here's a Q&A with the author:

Q. Tell us about Celebrigum. How did you conceive of the idea of juxtaposing celebrities with hardened chewing gum?

A. The juxtaposition was already happening; I just had to notice it. I think it was last fall or winter that I noticed the gum on the ledge, and eventually I came up with a boring conceptual art piece: I would photograph the gum each day for a year. I'd taken a few dull photos when one day I realized, hey, there's Celebrity X getting out of their limo in the background. After that I was off and running.

Q. There are rumors circulating on the internet that the gum is not actually there, that it's CGI gum. Care to respond?

A. As you know, most internet rumors are completely true. However, the CGI gum rumor is false. I've personally touched the gum and determined that it's real. Of course, if the gum were ever to be stolen by a crazed fan, CGI would be among my strategies for continuing. I could also put another lump of gum there, which might be simpler.

Q. Any calls from agents and publicists trying to get their clients on Celebrigum?

A. That's confidential; I'm not going to violate the CelebriGum-Client Privilege. But since nobody's talked to me, I guess it's safe to say no. My hope is that eventually celebrities will be aware of CelebriGum and will look up and wave at me as they arrive; it would be nice to actually get someone's face in a photo. And maybe someday CelebriGum will be such a sensation that A-list celebrities will swing by 53rd Street even when they're not booked on the show. "Say hi to Dave for us, Mr. Hanks!" "Oh, I'm not here for the Late Show, I'm just trying to get on CelebriGum."

Q. Any endorsement deals in the works with a gum company?

A. This is art! I absolutely will not sully its purity with crass commercialism!

Q. Long term plans. Any chance we'll be seeing a Celebrigum art museum?

A. I wouldn't rule it out. In the meantime, while nothing's official yet, I'm in negotiations for a CelebriGum book, movie, cologne, and line of childrens' pajamas.

Joaquin Phoenix Returns

Joaquin Phoenix returned to the Late Show last night for the first time since his infamous interview. It looked something like this:

I hope you watched the show or a full version of the interview turns up online because the clip above is an extremely cut down, edited version of the real interview which was entertaining and enlightening from start to finish.

I found it interesting that Dave claims he knew it was an act at the time. In the full interview they show a clip from the original interview which kind of "tips the hand" that it was an act. For most of the last half of the segment, Dave talks (seemingly quite seriously) about a possible impending lawsuit. It really ratchets up the tension but also I couldn't help but wonder (since that isn't normal interview behavior) if he's turning the tables - he's "playing a character" back at Joaquin.

At the end of the interview as the show went to commercial, Paul and the band played Sly and the Family Stone's song "Thank You". The lyrics to the chorus are "Thank you for lettin' me be myself again". He's still the master.

Rifftrax : Seven Little Ducks

Rifftrax (the writing core of MST3K now with a new company) have a new "short". I receive these new product announcements every once in a while and I always look forward to them because their video descriptions are so well written. The video description for "Seven Little Ducks" follows.

"When police inspector Launchpad McQuack receives a phone call that Huey, Dewey and Louie have gone missing, his initial inclination was to suspect the Beagle Boys - a suspicion that his neighbor Donald Duck was only too happy to go along with. But Donald seemed a little too concerned about keeping Launchpad away from his newly planted garden bed, instead plying the straight-laced cop with a dish he called "Diablo Pato." And that's when the first severed head turned up in a box on Launchpad's doorstep, pulling him down into a twisted web of intrigue, with the case growing more depraved and fiendish with each passing hour.

Sorry about that, that would be the plot of Se7en Little Ducks. Seven Little Ducks on the other hand is a good-natured short about a brace of ducks. You might assume that there would be seven ducks, but you would be a moron for expecting the good people at Coronet Films to do something as logical as naming their educational short in accordance with how many ducks are actually in said short.

The ducks are owned by Carol, who is played by a Gamorrean Guard. Carol has mastered basic duck-care skills such as feeding them gravel and strangling them. The ducks detest their cruel owner, and led by the hideous Father Duck, whose skin condition makes Two Face look like a Noxzema model, plan a coup. I'm sorry, I'm also being informed that that should be "Coop", and is not a bloody takeover, but rather the enclosure within which the ducks reside.

Obviously we can't get our details right about the content of the short, so just tune in to Seven Little Ducks along with Mike, Kevin and Bill and see for yourself. Quack. "

Addictive Television

It's 3 Am and I'm still up because I just watched the entire first season of "Celebrity Rehab" in one night. At first I was just going to watch one episode but that lead to another and another and I didn't know how to stop. It's almost like a... it's like a strong undeniable, uncontrollable impending urge.. thingey. Not sure about the exact term or how to stop it.

My comical (was it though?) lead-in should not obscure the fact that there is NOTHING funny about the show or the subject matter. And it really throws the usual preconceptions down the drain. In almost any other context, this kind of a group of "celebrities" given on a "reality show", is the kind of thing that you would not only avoid watching but wish that the TV station broadcasting the show gets bombed by Albanian submarines. But instead they're stripped down and seen as real people, real people with problems, imperfect human beings that you root for and, actually care for about as much as you can care for a person behind the wall of the television screen. At least I did. Anyways, no time for any more analysis. It's 3:40 and I have work tomorrow.

Extremely interesting, compelling and emotional show.

A Phoenix Rising From The Awkwardness

Big Late Show news. From their website:

"Is Joaquin Phoenix here?

That's the question everyone was asking after his must-see television appearance with Dave in 2009 that is now part of the upcoming documentary, "I'm Still Here."

On Wednesday, September 22nd, Joaquin returns to the LATE SHOW for his first television appearance since the incident. In anticipation of Joaquin's return, the LATE SHOW will rebroadcast his original appearance on Thursday, September 16th."

This is just the latest "First Interview Since..." interview - a line that includes the return of Crispin Glover after his drug-induced craziness, return of Madonna after her profanity-laced sound off and the return of Farrah Fawcett after her trip to space.

It ought to be interesting to hear the explanation as to whether it was all an act. My guess is he'll dodge the issue as much as possible in order to get people to watch the documentary that he's promoting. Crispin Glover kind of did the same thing. To this day, he refuses to say whether his interview was just an act because that would spoil the post-modern performance art integrity of the blah blah blah... I stopped listening after a while.

Classic Roots Choice #21

Jon Glaser was on Late Night recently and the Roots played him on like so:

[Video Removed]

And people in the know WERE cracking up. Jon Glaser now has his own show but he started out as a writer for Conan O'Brien. During his time there he performed in a comedy trio known as "The Slipnutz". I was going to explain the history of the trio but youtube actually pulls through on this one:

I'm always surprised to see the footage of Slipknot fans actually booing The Slipnutz - it's not like Slipknot fans to have bad taste. My best guess for the reason is this: The Slipnutz weren't wearing masks. The entertainment value of any music is increased 100 fold when the musicians wear masks (every Slipknot fan knows this).

Jon Glaser must of learned this lesson, for in his new show, he wears a mask and that fact causes the show to be different and better than all the other shows. It's called "Delocated" and it airs on Adult Swim.

An Idiot Abroad Episode 0

The zeroeth episode of the new series "An Idiot Abroad" starring Karl Pilkington has been posted online. The show chronicles Karl Pilkington ("a shaved monkey") as he travels the globe and experiences the Seven Wonders of the World.

Sorry for the screen width cut off, just double click to watch it on youtube. Warning: NSFW.

9/02/10

Yeah, that's today's date. I'm celebrating by exuding the kind of "rebellious" attitude that the Walshes despise.

Miscellaneous Web Videos

Apparently filming a propeller with a certain type of cell phone yields this kind of stroboscopic effect:

Conan announces the title of his new show (premiering Nov. 8th):

Jimmy Fallon does 10 second impressions (watching his show, it's struck me how many various impressions he does (not just comedians) yet you never think of him as an impressionist):

Note to self: never get Sharon Osbourne to count 10 seconds. She doesn't factor in pauses for audience applause. It's not an everyday problem though probably. On the plus side, his Steven Wright joke is such a perfect Steven Wright joke. Though he probably wrote it beforehand.

AT THE SAME TIME...

Probably my favorite moment in the classic "This is Spinal Tap" (or one of my favorite moments) is when we see a showcase of one of Nigel's guitar solos:

His playing of two guitars at the same time and then the playing of the guitar with the violin exemplifies everything that it could.

It's attacking the pompous AND the mindless, the "rock as art" AND the "rock as throwaway" all at once. It speaks to ambition and ego and, in short, it's an exact mockery of the entire ROCK AND ROLL mindset (note: that's "rock and roll" in caps).

And by the way my favorite moment in particular is when Nigel suddenly notices the violin isn't quite in tune to his liking and has to fix it.

[As an aside, I have to believe, though there is no proof, that the violin is picked as a reference to Jimmy Page who would sometimes play his guitar with a violin bow. If Jimmy Page can play a guitar with a bow, Nigel Tufnel can play a guitar with a violin.]

Having said that, and looking at how playing two instruments at the same time can be stupid, let's face it, playing two instruments at the same time is generally awesome. I'd love to play ONE instrument at all let alone be able to play multiple.

Which brings me to Johnny Greenwood (guitarist Radiohead) and a video I just rediscovered recently. Greenwood is an extraordinary musician. He's a man who can can play virtually any instrument (or any object that makes some sort of noise), he can compose and score music for orchestras and, of course, he can shread a mean guitar. In this particular live version of "Street Spirit [Fade Out]" he plays both the guitar and the keyboard. Beside the fact that this is impressive by definition, this isn't all that impressive: that is the song is quiet, ethereal and open, there isn't that "100 miles a second" playing on either instrument that turns it into "a feat". But towards the end of the song, the video shows something interesting: he's not just playing the keyboard AND the guitar, he's playing the keyboard WITH the guitar. Rock and Roll.

[Disclaimers: I regret the association between the two linked videos though I felt it unavoidable. I believe "This Is Spinal Tap" mocks everything bad about Rock 'n Roll while Radiohead represent all that is good. I also regret focusing so much on just the multi-instrumentalist portion of the video as it is a perfect rendition of a perfect song and I've probably distracted from it's pure beauty. I also wish to restate that the playing of guitar and piano in the displayed video doesn't represent any circus-trick level of musical prowess. I just think the idea is awesome in itself. In short, this whole post is a mistake and I can't find the delete buttonm. All rights reserved.]

Beat It - The Communist Version

If you think that communism is dead you better think again. Now they're trying to co-opt one of the free world's greatest weapons - the music of Michael Jackson - by claiming that they came up with "Beat It" 30 years earlier.

Watch the official government video made by the Chinese Communist Party and see for yourself.

More intensity. Oddly the Red China military uniform doesn't look that different from Michael's own arm-banded military look. It's also surprising how well the "tai chi" the main dude does go with the music. Actually there is no main dude, they are all equal.

The Many Names of John Anderson

In the MST3K episode "Space Mutiny", Mike and robot companions have a running gag throughout the movie where they give the musclehead protagonist various manly nicknames.

I thought it was so funny, I edited together all the names throughout the movie into a single montage so that I could share it with others. Others had the same idea and uploaded theirs to youtube before I could.

Hilarious. It still cracks me up. Receiving this link in an email today, I wanted to respond with the other time that the MST3K crew did this - the episode that fewer people know about... In the earlier episode "12 to the Moon", the exact same gag was utilized with the beefy male model protagonist of that picture. But, HOLD ON, somehow no video for THIS occurence existed on youtube.

Until now. I uploaded it myself. For the first time ever, I give you "The Many Names of John Anderson":

Maybe We Ain't That Young Anymore

Cemetery Junction (2010)

The first film from writers/directors Stephen Merchant and Ricky Gervais, "Cemetery Junction" has been eagerly anticipated by me for a few years.

Set in England in the 1970's it's a slightly different type of "coming of age" film in which the characters are in their early to mid 20's and not teenagers. Drinking, getting into fights and still living in their home town, they suddenly realize that they're not young anymore and it's time to do something with their lives.

For Merchant/Gervais it's a slight departure in that it's not a straight forward comedy but focuses rather on drama, romance and relationships. It's also, as was already mentioned, not a typical coming of age film as it borrows from "Rebel Without a Cause", "The Apartment" or possibly "Swingers" more so than, say, "The Breakfast Club" but also with some "Saturday Night Fever" thrown in (or so I'm told). It's also a departure as neither Ricky or Steve plays one of the main characters though Ricky has a bit part, Steve has a small cameo and there is even a (brief) appearance by Karl Pilkington.

It's quite a good movie and although it took a while to get into, by the end I was quite into the characters and story. The soundtrack is a big factor - the climax of the movie feature's Led Zeppelin's "The Rain Song" played over the film in its entirety. Ralph Fiennes is quite good as usual and Emma Watson ("Punch-Drunk Love", "Equilibrium", "Synecdoche, New York") gives another understated but excellent performance.

Although it's better than 99% of everything that comes out of Hollywood I can sort of see why it wasn't released in the US and I've had to wait for this long for it to come out on DVD. The thick British accents get to be quite hard to understand at times and I, yes even I, was reduced to turning on the closed captioning. Still, it's a non-issue if you're used to reading subtitles on the occasional foreign film.

It's a little bit unfair to how good the movie is and how much work and effort it took to make but the movie itself is a little overshadowed by the Director's Commentary which is one of the funniest DVD commentaries I've ever heard. As a Gervais/Merchant fan it's probably to be expected but they are hilarious in their ridiculous banter. The only funnier commentary that comes to mind is the "This Is Spinal Tap" commentary where the band all discuss the movie in-character but that's a high standard to reach.

All in all, a 9 out of 5.

GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!

Reality shows mar the landscape like bird poop on a field of statues. However, there is one show that represents everything that "reality television" can be (and should be) when all of the stars align and everything is perfect.

"American Chopper" (now called "American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior") premiered last week and within the first five minutes of the first episode I had a surge of adrenaline like the Phillies were about to play a playoff game. This has a great deal to do with the fact that the show format starts off with "last season on 'American Chopper'" and what happened last season was a giant blowout between father and son where Paul Jr. was fired.

But part of it, too, is that judging by the first episode, "American Chopper" is everything reality television can be. Truth is funnier and stranger and more interesting than fiction but most reality shows fail to recognize this and do the exact opposite: take the veneer of reality and script/edit/manipulate it to a bloody pulp. The result - as in my bird analogy - as we've all seen is crap. "American Chopper", when it works, is more like watching sports than episodic television or a sitcom. You care about the characters, you wonder what's going to happen next, you wait with bated breath to see whether they will succeed or fail. And yet, you can't escape the drama and tension - you can't step outside the three walls and simply think that the "writers aren't going to end it that way"; there are no writers, there is no predictable outcome. And you can't dismiss the tension by reminding yourself that "it's just a movie"; it's real people with real problems that can really fail or triumph, they live and breath and can really get hurt. There are no unrealistic twists, no bad actors, no poor sets or cheap special effects. The characters are three dimensional, the action is unpredictable and there are no dei ex machina.

Early last season Paul Jr. was (quite shockingly) fired from a company that he helped create and the television show that documents said company completely flew apart in all directions. The show had always been about the father-son relationship as well as making bikes but after the battle there was no relationship. The plot split in two (Junior/Senior) where Junior thought about starting a boutique (see, you can't write that) and Senior was left to make bikes however he wanted with no real creative process. It turns out that a weekly show about two guys not talking to each other while a drab bike gets built smoothly and easily can be pretty boring and the show was cancelled after it's first truly bad season.

Now, with a lawsuit still pending, Paul Jr. has decided to start up his own shop in direct competition with his father and former business partner. And to help him, he's bringing in a few other former OCC employees that fans of the show will surely recognize - namely Vinny and Nubs. While fans of the show will surely remember these guys, for those who don't, it's like if Mr. T and Hulk Hogan announced that they were going to come back to the WWF for one more tag team match... It would be like that only much less exciting... but then everything in the world is much less exciting than that so my simile is poorly chosen.

But with father and son going head to head, with Paul back designing bikes, with Vinny back building them, with a true underdog vs. Evil Corporation story line, with emotions flaring and people breaking down, with sweet construction montages that include flying sparks, grinding and welding, and as always, really cool motorcycles, it could be an amazing series once again.

It was a little while ago that "Lost" ended and with it a recurring weekly obsession to see the next episode and find out what happens. If the first episode of "American Chopper" is an indication, that terrible torment is back.

Brothers In Arms

Recently Will Ferrell and Jimmy Fallon reminisced about, and played a clip of, the old days where they both were actors on the Canadian soap opera "Jacob's Patience".

Jimmy doesn't even keep a straight face during the setup to the skit.

Oddly, I was recently watching a "Thunderbirds" movie and thinking how strange it was and thinking it was just plain creepy and stupid. This reminds me of that whole "marionette acting" a bit.

Mitchell, Webb, Donald Kaufman?

Thanks to the powers of Netflix, I've recently been going through the British sketch comedy show "That Mitchell and Webb Look". It's actually pretty funny and I'm surprised I'm only now learning about it since it started in 2006 and I've known about David Mitchell ever since he was a panelist on the fantastic quiz show "QI".

I might post a few clips on this blog in future (because, frankly, who's gonna stop me) but I had to at least post this one. If "Synecdoche, New York" were a comedy sketch it would be this. And anything with that description is worth watching.

That Mitchell and Webb Look - The Chiropractor

Guitar Hero 5 : Through the Looking Glass

A quick shoparound for "Guitar Hero 5" reveals that there is a glitch in the matrix large enough to drive a truck through - something that challenges all rules of logic which lie at the foundation of all civilized thought.

If you take out your Analytical Engine, lubricate the gears sufficiently, build up the proper steam and point it to www.bestbuy.com you will find that the game "Guitar Hero 5"(brand new, never used) is selling for $19.99. This is, in itself, not cause for alarm. However, the very same game used, is selling for $29.99. That's right - the game is worth more used than new.

What does it mean? If a game is worth more money used than new, that means that the moment you buy it it instantly increases in value by $10 (a 50% profit). Presumably, the term "used" implies that you have to take the game out and play it or it's not as valuable. Therefore if you wanted to play video games for a living all you need to do is buy as many copies of "Guitar Hero 5" as you can, play them each one by one and sell each copy for $10 more than you originally paid. It's a tough job but you really get a great sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.

If you buy "Guitar Hero 5" and are unhappy with it, and you wish to return it, what happens? They'll offer to give you your money back but that's a ripoff, they're trying to buy back the game for $10 less than it's worth. "Hey man," - you'll say to the Best Buy employee - "don't act like this thing isn't worth more money, this game is used. You owe me my original twenty bucks for the game plus 10 bucks for improving the game to a 'pre-owned' state."

And just in case you thought that we hadn't gone through the looking glass, that the Earth is still rotating on its axis, that pi is actually a constant and that this whole thing is just a big misunderstanding - that the old man Best Buy had made a mistake typing numbers into his abacus and that the fabric of our universe isn't pulling at the seams... Here's the Amazon.com listing:

[Click the picture for larger version]

Still not huddled naked in the basement? YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?! Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, technically it is a game but how does this taste on your Cocoa Puffs... here's the same game on GameStop:

God help us all.

An Idiot Abroad Trailer

There's a new trailer for "An Idiot Abroad". Formerly entitled "Karl Pilkington's Seven Wonders of the World" (a superior title in my opinion), the documentary will follow global village idiot Karl Pilkington as he visits the seven wonders of the world.

I'm excited. The show will not air in the U.S. but hopefully the internet picks up the slack.

Keyboard Cat: Redux

He almost got the part of Goofy (and I think he was perfect for it) but now he's got a new role to play instead.

This is so much better than "Apocalypse Now Redux", I can't even tell you.

IMDB 250 Challenge Revision 4 Complete

As you probably know, I have a (continuing) mission to watch every movie on the IMDB Top 250. As ratings fluctuate and more movies are released, movies slip out of the 250 and others take their place so I have to continuously revise my list and watch the new ones to keep up. I finished the fourth revision earlier today, finally watching the movie "My Neighbor Totoro". Here are the latest movies and a few thoughts.

Avatar (2009)

My Rating: 7/10.

Obviously, one of the new movies on the IMDB 250 has to be Avatar. A sci-fi action flick in 3D, it doesn't really need any explanation or any more hype from me. There are few movies out there as polarizing as this one. I've heard that it's the best movie of all-time and I've heard that it's garbage. Straight away, it's certainly not the best movie of all-time. At best it's a lesser retelling of "Dances With Wolves" which IS great and IS amazing and IS one of the greatest movies ever made and yet is sadly not on the current IMDB 250 list). But I also don't want to go too far in the "don't believe the hype" vein to say that it "sucks". I maintain, at least for now, that it is an entertaining movie, that is fairly well-done and kept my interest. So, I have to give it a 7/10 though bordering on a 6 and at the same time, I don't understand what all the "best movie ever" hype was about at all other than mass temporary insanity.

I wonder if it was the 3D experience that did it. Does the sensory experience of amazing 3D imagery elevate it into a "higher" experience? Should that be considered against the usual criteria of emotion, plot, acting, directing, score, etc.? For my purposes, I'm leaving it out and judging it by its 2D aspects. For that, its current position of #109 all-time is a sad joke.

Zombieland (2009)

My Rating: 6/10.

I don't remember much about this movie. I could sum up my review of it in three words: it was alright. Attempting to blend comedy with action/horror and taking advantage of the "zombie craze", it occasionally succeeds. But it's not a terrific success and you'd be better off rewatching "Ghostbusters" or "The 'burbs" (a severely underrated movie). The special surprise cameo (which I won't spoil) was completely wasted, I thought. This movie since being on the list of 250, has slipped out of it which I think is absolutely correct.

Unadjusted for inflation, this is the highest-grossing movie in the US to begin with the letter "Z".

My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

My Rating: 5/10.

Another anime movie and it seems all anime movies on the list have the same elements in common: they all are beautifully animated and feature hyper-surreal, hyper-imaginative visuals. As best as I can recall, they're all "family" movies as well. This movie is no exception. With their mother in sick in the hospital, two sisters and their dad move into a new house that's said to be haunted by forest spirits. With their father's encouragement, the two sisters soon find the tales to be true,

There's nothing wrong with this movie, it's fine as far as movies for kids go but there's also nothing that stood out for me either. The visuals are very nice and maybe if I was watching it as a kid I would feel differently but as it is, I didn't really like or dislike it. Therefore a 5/10.

Blood Diamond (2006)

My Rating: 7/10.

Probably the best movie on this short, arbitrary list, "Blood Diamond" tells the story of a group of people caught in the blood diamond trade (diamonds from Africa whose profits are used to fund civil war). Leonardo DiCaprio is suprisingly good and Jennifer Connelly doesn't hurt the movie either. The strongest performance is Djimon Hounsou who probably should have been Oscar-nominated. This movie is well-written, well-directed, and well-acted. It's very good but a bit too long and ventures too far out into the "action movie" territory to rise to the level of being great. My 7/10 rating borders on an 8.

Movies This Revision: 4.

Average Score: 5.75.

Best Movie This Revision: "Blood Diamond".

Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 333.

Remix The Clips

Time once again for another episode of "Remix the Clips". This is one of my favorite editions of this segment. If this song were released... I might buy it.

Radical Audience Suggestions

Late Night has a new segment where they take audience suggestions from the suggestion box. Such suggestions included "thumb mud wrestling" and "can I go to the bathroom". But I particularly found this one interesting:

Now, I don't want to be the one to evacuate the death star in our moment of triumph but something must be said. The original music is missing. It's probably a digital rights thing that they couldn't legally clear the epic track "Break the Ice" by John Farnham but come on! A huge percentage of the radness of that opening depends on the music. The movie and the song begins with soft, unsure synth only to explode later in a crotch-thrusting atomic guitar explosion. (This is the earliest foreshadowing that our hero, though insecure and unproven at first, will come to know that he's the best in the world in one shining moment.)

To put things in perspective, the clip without the correct music, on the awesomeness scale is an infinity. However, when the clip from the movie has the proper music, the awesomeness goes all the way to infinity squared. These numbers are unofficial but I hope they provide you with some perspective. You wouldn't go up to the Mona Lisa and paint a mustache on her. Why? Because perfect art should be respected.

Here it is in all it's true glory.

Shout Outs

It's time once again to give people and things that are good max respect and big props.

Most of all, big ups to molecular models. BANNGG.

Stefon - Your NYC Guide

SNL "Weekend Update" correspondent Stefon gives us the 411 on popular New York City tourist attractions.

If there's one thing I know about comedy it's that if you're having trouble keeping a straight face in a scene, DO NOT mention midgets or dwarves.

America's Got Talent

If there's one thing to be learned from "America's Got Talent" it's that America does not... got talent.

Eminem Is Serious Business

With Eminem and Jay-Z on the show, Dave is a little scared.

He's had Jay-Z on the show before so he's okay with that, but Eminem has never been on the show before and Dave confides to the audience that he senses Eminem wants to punch him. He doesn't know why exactly... but he does get that vibe.

When Eminem comes on to present a Top Ten List, it's quite a funny list, but the audience senses the (possible) tension. And Eminem's body language does nothing to disprove Dave's theory.

You can see the look Dave gives after "Thanks for having me" as if to say, "See, I'm in dangerrr."

Letterman - Beavis and Butthead

Recently I've been using Netflix to revisit the old "Beavis and Butthead" episodes. I've found that the comedy holds up all these years later and have really been enjoying my trips back to the early to mid nineties. The only complaint is that none of the "Beavis and Butthead" content includes any of the footage where they watch, and provide commentary for, music videos. Presumably this is a digital rights issue and it sucks because that was my favorite parts of the show. (It was cool. Digital rights suck).

All of this reminded me of when B&B were on Letterman to promote their new movie. I remember watching this when it aired and thinking about how it was all done. But it's been years since I thought about it and it's really well done. (This is cool).

Though not mentioned, you might recall a scene in the movie "Beavis and Butthead Do America" where they meet two idiotic drifters who, we as the audience learn, are Beavis and Butthead's fathers. According to the credits, Butthead's father is played by Earl Hofert which is really an alias for David Letterman, himself. The Earl Hofert name comes from Dave's Uncle Earl who was sometimes mentioned on the show. Most famously, Uncle Earl once said, "Here kitty, kitty, kitty..." to the Thanksgiving turkey. (Uncle Earl was stupid).

Soccer... Yes, it's called "Soccer"

Normally, when the whole world is wrapped up in World Cup fever and Americans remain totally uninterested, I would make a blog post espousing the virtues of the game - I find the gigantic playing field aesthetically pleasing and the constant angular passes aesthetically pleasing somehow and the quick and dynamic/improvisational strategy aspect can be very exciting when it works - but instead it seems the whole country seems to have soccer fever so I'm going the other way. Soccer, as a sport is very weak.

First off, there's no clock. Sure, there's a corner of the TV with an ascending time display but that's not the real time. Only the referee knows how much time is left. Why? What are you hiding? Why would you make a sport with no discernible amount of time left? When are the fans supposed to get excited that time is running out?

Second, the low scoring. People who advocate lower-scoring sports say that the few goals makes it more exciting. People who advocate higher-scoring sports say that the constant scoring makes those sports more exciting. They both have a point in a way. Such arguments can be true but they're only the subjective "excitement" test is only obscuring the real issue. There is an objective advantage to higher-scoring sports: the higher score increases the "granularity" of the game. That is, more scoring means that more often the better team wins. I don't care if you assemble the best soccer team ever assembled and you're up against the Asthmatic All-Stars of Chernobyl - the ball takes a crazy bounce off one of the mutated weaklings' nads and bounces into the net for a goal, 90 minutes later the game ends and there you have it: unlike, say, basketball where the dream team rocks your face off and sets the net on fire, you just watched your dream team lose to Beavis and Butthead because of dumb luck.

Third: officiating. You combine bad calls with the "lottery" aspect of low scoring and you have referees, not players, deciding games. The US vs. Slovenia game was enough proof of that. That's right Europe, no one wants to see an outcome determined by the hard work and excellent play of professional athletes ("republicanism"), we want a moron referee to make unilateral decisions that are one hair away from being on par with the WWE ("monarchy"). "Someone make an 'And 1 Mixtape' of referee officiating! Quick! It's my favorite!" Every sport has officiating problems, no one gets it right all the time and no one feels good when they get it wrong but soccer is unique in that, more than any other sport (or more than the other major sports), the bad calls DECIDE or CAN DECIDE the outcome.

Fourth: Ties. What kind of a sick sport - already plagued by low scoring - DOESN'T have an overtime system? It's understandable when a sport decides to implement some limit in the amount of play and allow ties but not even a single overtime period? Not one second more? "Well, we played 90 minutes" - or SOMEWHERE AROUND 90 minutes plus whatever the ref is feeling today - "and we haven't determined a winner yet, but let's stop right there. There will be no winners today." "But maybe we could play longer and see if another goal happens." "NO! It's much better when you leave things in an indeterminate state of emotional confusion." "What about playing, say, 5 minutes, just 5 minutes more." "NO TIME."

Fifth: the vuvuzela. Everyone is well aware of this one so I'll use this space to describe a delicious anecdote of sweet justice. The Florida Marlins recently had a promotion where the first 15,000 fans to the ballpark (I say "the first 15,000" though it's doubtful the Marlins could get that many in total) received a free vuvuzela giveaway. And can you believe it, it was annoying! The noise was unbearable (shock!), it annoyed and pained many fans (who could have predicted?!) and the players and officials took to wearing earplugs (monocle pop!). But the best part is that when the Marlins coach made a lineup change in the ninth inning, the umpire didn't hear and called it illegal which lead to the Marlins losing the game. There is justice in the world.

Sixth, and frankly this is the whole point of the article here... the flops. Sit back and enjoy the histrionics of retarded teenage girls... I mean, muscle-bound titans of sport ... and see if you don't die a little inside.

World Currency Collapse Explained in 3 Minutes

The makers of "The Front Fell Off" and "The Games" are back with a brand new invention. This time they're out to explain the current state of various European economies/governments. It's billed as "World Collapse Explained in 3 Minutes" but it's more specifically about governments and currencies. The term "World Collapse" just seems problematic.

Spoiler: the entire "Who's on First" scenario only comes about when a nation's currency is not backed by a tangible, limited resource such as gold or silver. When money becomes decoupled from anything physical (other than paper), then governments are free to spend as much as they want. How are they going to pay it all off? Print more money.

I'd call this "Tax on the Ignorant". That's to say that if the government raised taxes by 20% to legitimately pay for a bunch of crap there would be outrage. People would protest, they'd question the expenditures, things would probably get cut. If, however, they simply print more money, the public is still paying for it but they're not smart enough to care. When the thousand dollars I have in the bank goes down in value by 50% in 10 years, that's ok. The number of dollars in the bank still says "$1000", so everything 's fine. And when that amount goes down in value by 50% over the next 10 years and so on, and so on, the number of dollars is still 1000 which is still the same amount, right?

Remix The Clips #3

Questlove remixes the clips. That "Bachelorette" clip is painful. So glad I don't watch that show.



Apparently this is a new weekly bit so watch for it every Thursday.

The Truth About Japanese Food

A hidden camera investigation reveals the truth about Japanese food and it's not pretty:

I'm glad I haven't eaten that much of it, I don't feel as bad now.

Who Cares Wins: Hobby Edition

Another tutorial from the folks at Video Vision has been uncovered. This one instructs the viewer as to how to pick and properly execute a hobby. Solid infotainment!