Game Grumps - Laughing Compilation

A compilation of jokes and giggles. Adult themes and language.

P&S - The Warrant Hotline

No, the Warrant Hotline is not the number you call after watching America's Most Wanted, it's one of those 900 numbers from the 80s or 90s!

Yeah, it's a ripoff scam but it's a lot of other things too!

Up on the Housetop

I was listening to some Christmas music today and in true Festivus fashion, I have a problem and now you're all gonna hear about it.

One of the staples of this season is the song "Up on the Housetop", an old timey song of which the most famous version is still Gene Autry from 1953.

The chorus goes like this:

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go.

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go,

Up on the housetop, click, click, click;

Down through the chimney with old Saint Nick.

Now it's possible that I was asleep during Santa class, but from what I remember, there is no option of joining Santa as he goes down the chimney. There was never a raffle where 2 lucky people get to ride with him in his sleigh nor any myth that Santa would let people go down the chimney with him. This is never presented as an option, so why even ask? Every second you spend thinking up an answer to the question posed by these lyrics is a second wasted.

And a direct question would be bad enough. This song has the audacity to take it further. Rather than "would you go..." it's "who wouldn't go..." Suddenly, I'm taking a census. Ok, what percentage of the population would go up on the roof with Santa and what percentage wouldn't do the thing that never happens anyway and is pointless to ask? Gee, I don't know how to divide the demographics on this.

All that being said, I'm ready to answer the question for myself. I would NOT go up with Santa and through the chimney. First off, I don't like the heights, I don't like roofs and I'm not practiced in walking on them. Secondly, we're told that the way Santa gets through the chimney is by some magic. But is that magic even transferable to others? I don't know, I don't fancy finding out. Nor do I want to find out if the magic protects me from inhaling chimney soot or getting it all over my clothes. Is it up to me to climb slowly down - I don't like the idea of a two story free-fall into either a roaring fire or some cinder blocks.

No. Definitely not. I pass on this whole fake proposition that's never going to happen and doesn't exist as a thing. Sounds like a nightmare. Gene Autry and whoever can do whatever they want on the housetop but as for me, I'd rather be up on the roof with James Taylor.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Conan - Santa's Netflix Special

Santa's back and he's EDGY.


I can't see real good, is that Kenny Rogers over there?

The Room - A Theory from the Internet

The key to "The Room's" staying power is that it's so dreamlike and hard to understand. People have described it as what would happen if aliens, trying to understand human life, tried to make a movie about it. The vast consensus for why it is the way it is, is that its creator Tommy Wiseau is simply inept. And when he claims he had a "vision" for the movie, he's simply dismissed. Especially since he's never explained what that vision was.

In trying to understand what "The Room" might mean, I wonder if there's a clue to the some of the answers in the title itself. After all, does anything in the movie suggest the title "The Room"? Why name it that? It's clearly about the relationships (man-woman and man-man) of the characters themselves. But the title - the simplest summary of the movie's meaning is "The Room".

What if the "room" (the apartment) was an active participant in the events of the movie. Let's suppose it was possible that some sort of inter-dimensional nexus could exist on Earth that it had the power to affect people's thoughts slowly over time? And suppose that Johnny and Lisa's apartment happens to be that nexus. Then what we perceive as bad writing and awful acting is really a manifestation of the negative psychological effects of long-term exposure to The Room. They're acting and speaking strangely because they're no longer in their right minds and haven't been for a long time. If this is the case, Johnny, who's presumably spent the most time in The Room, seems to exhibit no normal human behavior whatsoever.

Lisa and her mother would be second to Johnny in their exposure to The Room's effects which explains why they still have traces of humanity but yet show that a cancer diagnosis isn't a worthwhile conversation topic, etc. This is particularly hinted at by Lisa herself on the roof, "I'm changing... people are changing all the time".

If the Room is causing gradual madness over time, it naturally follows then that that the most ancillary characters like Michelle and Steven would seem to most resemble real people and act as the "voice of reason" to our "crazy" main characters. And this is exactly the case.

People often wonder why Mike suddenly falls down in the alley. Watch again and see that this moment comes right after he's told a story about being in the apartment. He's suffering brain trauma.

The effects of being in The Room?

What about the pictures of spoons? Ever since Uri Geller in the 1970s, the idea of "spoon bending", the supposed ability to bend spoons with one's mind, has become a symbol of the metaphysical. This imagery was probably most famously used in The Matrix, a science-fiction film. The spoon pictures, purposefully placed in the background, suggest that something paranormal is happening in the environment all the time. When asked directly about the significance of the spoons, Wiseau gives an enigmatic answer hinting at the harmful effects of foreign chemicals inside the body. People are victims, unaware that they're slowly poisoned by outside elements.

I think Tommy Wiseau may have very well had a vision for "The Room" and he's not telling anyone in the same way that all the great filmmakers never reveal the meanings of their works. "The Room"  may be a science-fiction piece. It's a movie that observes a group of (previously) normal people whose minds have been warped and distorted by a force outside their control. And being unaware that this force exists, unaware that they're sick, they must continue to argue, fight and cheat each other, following what their sick minds are telling them to do. Without the possibility of thinking "outside the Room", the events of the movie flow inevitably and the very last scene is a bleak determinism.

In short, "The Room" may be a companion piece to "Upstream Color".

Tonight Show - Peanuts

I'm just taking it by faith that this is funny...

The Tonight Show does a mashup of Riverdale with Peanuts. Now, I've never seen Riverdale and probably never will so I can only assume this is worth sharing. It's certainly carefully made.

Tonight Show - James Franco

What has the world come to when I'm posting a James Franco interview? EVERYBODY BETRAYED ME, I FED UP WITH THIS WORLD!

James Franco talks about his new movie where he plays Tommy Wiseau.

Re:View - Nothing But Trouble

Jack and Rich discuss the cinematic disaster "Nothing But Trouble".



I first watched "Nothing But Trouble" out of curiosity as it's the cinematic debut of Tupac Shakur and the song he appears on "Same Song" by Digital Underground also happens to be his musical debut. I would emphasize that although the movie makes for GREAT discussion, it's not bad enough to be good and it's certainly not good.

Jontron - Weird Workout Videos

We are all human beings. I'm including myself in that, I am a regular carbon-based human. And so given that you are a human being and I am just as much a human being, not different in any way and certainly not an alien impostor, to the extent that I don't even know why I would bring that up... the point is that we humans tend to gain a little bit of weight around the holidays.

Fortunately, Jontron has some workout videos for you that you can use to maintain a regular, unsuspicious, human shape.

MST3K Renewed For Second Season

In case you missed the Turkey Day marathon, it was announced that Mystery Science Theater will get a second season on Netflix (and 12th season over all). Dampening my excitement is the fact that it took them way too long to renew the show - delaying the new episodes by half a year or so. It's unknown how long production will take and when the new episodes will premier.

Next year will be the show's 30th anniversary.

Late Late Show - Thanksgiving Roundtable

The Thanksgiving Round table was a gloriously bizarre idea with a terrifically random execution.

The premise was that Craig would have a Thanksgiving round table discussion with Rod Roddy (of The Price is Right fame), actor Martin Mull, tennis player Anna Kournikova ("live via satellite", of course) and Late Late Show writer Mike Grayson. Rather than eat, they would sit down and discuss the issues of the day (always hampered by a way-too-big table centerpiece).

The second video is my recording from another year where the full segment was divided into pieces and played throughout the episode. The first video is not mine.

MST3K - Turkey Day Marathon 2017

The Turkey Day Marathon 2017 is now Live. The stream starts at Noon EST and ends at ???.

[Live Stream Video Removed]

Moonlight Serenade

I have a very strong sense of "Fall Music" when Fall rolls around. The appearance of Autumn usually means it's time to listen to The Band's Brown Album on loop for days.

But for some reason I want to revisit Summer instead, specifically Moonlight Serenade.

One thing people may not know about Moonlight Serenade is that it has lyrics. Glenn Miller wrote it as an instrumental (of course) but yet it has lyrics. And as far as I know, that's a common thing among Glenn Miller songs (and for all I know, it could be true of most songs of that era). That's always been a mystery to me, why go to the bother of adding lyrics to an instrumental? But recently I found the answer.

Moonlight Serenade has lyrics for Ella Fitzgerald.

Tonight Show - Do Not Play List

Don't play these songs. Don't do it.

The Joys of Viacom

So now this is happening to my inbox today...

For those that don't know, I've uploaded a number of "Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn" clips on to youtube and Viacom is claiming copyright and taking them down.

I have no problem with copyright claims as such - companies need to make sure A) no one else is profiting off their intellectual property and B) they need to make sure that they ARE.

The problem I have with this is that neither of these was happening.

Firstly, none of the blocked videos are monetized. I never displayed a single ad or made a single dime off of Viacom's content. I uploaded for free, people watched for free and no one made any money out of any of it.

Secondly, and much more importantly, show me the revenue stream Viacom reaps off of old episodes of Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. Can I watch it on a streaming service? Does Viacom have their own Youtube channel with ads? Are there Late Late Show DVDs available for purchase at Best Buy? No. Viacom was not making a penny less with these videos available for fans to watch and is not making a penny more with these videos struck down. The only difference is they were able to take something away from their customers.

When a giant company takes something from someone for their own profits, some call that "greed". But what is it when a giant company takes something from someone and no one benefits in any way?

Best of the Worst - Halloween Episode

In this year's Halloween episode of Best of the Worst, the gang watches "Vampire Assassin", "Hack-O-Lantern" and "Cathy's Curse".

Even though it's a Halloween episode, the scariest thing about it is alcoholism.

Late Night - New Halloween Costumes 1989

Perhaps my favorite Halloween tradition (at least as an adult). New Halloween costumes on Late Night/Late Show.


And yes, that is Macaulay Culkin in the McDLT.

JonTron - The Halloween Turducken

JonTron thinks that Halloween needs a signature dish and suggests the "Frankenstein of Poultry" - the Turducken.

It doesn't make sense but just go with it.



So the premise... we have set meals for other holidays but not Halloween. For Thanksgiving, it's turkey, for Christmas, it's ham. Hold up. Is it ham for Christmas? I always thought Easter was a ham meal. Is it ham for Easter and Christmas? Because if it is, that ruins the premise that each holiday gets a meal - a unique meal, anyway.

Or are other families eating something else for Easter? My family eats ham for Easter, turkey for Thanksgiving and steak for Christmas. I can understand that probably my family is unique but I'm still not convinced there are rules.

In England, the agreed upon Christmas meal is turkey. That's standard, I know. But then they don't celebrate Thanksgiving, obviously.

Game Grumps - Halloween

Well the countdown to Halloween is on. And while I'm more of a Reformation Day guy myself, I'll be posting Halloween-related things up to the day itself.

Today the Game Grumps play cheap, low-rated games on Steam.

First up is the horror classic Lost Base Escape.



Next, they play the horror-themed game Tungulus for some spectacular Tungulage.

This episode is a bit slower but some of the best horror thrillers are slow sometimes.

Conan - Clueless Gamer with David Bakhtiari

Conan plays the game "Assassin's Creed: Origins" with David Bakhtiari plus one additional football player (for some reason?). It annoys me that every Clueless Gamer these days must have a celebrity involved. It's taking something good and unique and mellowing it down to almost another celebrity interview segment. Do they think that Conan playing a video game with Aaron Bleyaert isn't funny enough, it needs to have extra star power?

That said, it's still funny.

Too Funny To Fail Trailer

If you're a reader of this blog you already know of the insane singularity that was "The Dana Carvey Show".

Now it looks like Hulu is creating a documentary about it. You can see the trailer below.





Is there any worse phrase than "only on Hulu"? But yet I must see it.

"Too Funny to Fail" will be released October 21st. Oh yeah, that happened already.

Conan and Dave and the Horse

Conan's Entertainment Weekly piece.

Here's Where the Story Ends

This is another of those times when I wanted to hear a song but didn't have any of the tools necessary to find it. I had a very clear picture of exactly how it went in my head but didn't know the artist, song title or any of the words to search.

After a long, meandering, somewhat random search across the internet, I've finally found the song is "Here's Where the Story Ends" by The Sundays.



I often like to play the game "I really like this song, but why do I like this song?" I've found there's a strong correlation between songs I like and songs that are emotional Rorschach tests - songs that could be extremely happy or extremely sad, depending on the listener. I think that's part of the success of "Free Bird" - you could play it at a party or a wake and I don't think anyone would bat an eye.

Thinking about it, I don't think that's the case with "Here's Where the Story Ends" though. I think it's essentially an upbeat, happy song. So then why does it make me so sad?

You might also remember the Sundays from "Summertime".

The Ninja Warriors - Daddy Mulk

Are you ready for Japanese guys in baked potato suits?
Do you think you can handle that Japanese string guitar thing in a rock context?
Are you ready for picture-in-picture technology?
Can you take the most unenthusiastic drummer ever?
Can you handle a song with "Mulk" in the title

No. No you can't.

I don't think you're ready for this MIDI.


This song is from the arcade version of this game.

Conan - Marc Maron is now on Klomper

By the way, Conan was a guest on Maron's WTF Podcast a while back and it's excellent. Well worth the time if you can find it and have a spare hour.

Clueless Gamer - Shadow Of War

Conan plays "Shadow Of War" with an actor who voiced one of the characters, Kumail Nanjiani.

Money as a System of Control

Not comedy.



What I like about Andreas Antonopoulos is the flair for intensity/intense silence. It's the closest thing to Howard Beale in "Network" that I've found in real life.

Conan - Tom Cruise Control

On its own merit, this is borderline, but I figure I have to contribute my part towards the ultimate goal of blowing up the internet.



I believe, though I could be wrong about this, that in all the years Conan has been doing late night, Tom Cruise has never been on with him. So this would make his first appearance.

But then, Conan did have Wax Tom Cruise and Wax Fonzie on the Tonight Show many times. And the most famous wax museum is Madame Tussauds. And Madame Tussauds is in London. And where does Conan meet Tom Cruise? In London. So we can plainly see that Conan is part of the Illuminati.

Re:View - Joe Versus the Volcano

The guys at Re:View talk about "Joe Versus the Volcano".

I have to revisit "Joe Versus the Volcano". I saw it in the theater when it came out and never understood why it was such a flop. I can imagine it may have been too weird for general audiences, particularly at that time. But post-"Being John Malkovich" and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", perhaps people can more fully appreciate it now.

I don't know, I always have trouble figuring out what general audiences are thinking. All I know is, I love the movie and think it's underrated.

Conan Visits Waze

Conan visits Waze headquarters in Tel Aviv, Israel.

Tonight Show - John Cleese

The weird thing that happened during this segment is it briefly made me nostalgic for daytime talk shows. Surprising but true.



I wonder where Jenny Jones is these days.

DVD Bonus Features

One thing I seem to always get asked is, people will come up to me and say "Regis... what's the greatest DVD bonus feature of all-time?". And my answer in this imagined scenario is always the same: the "Memento" DVD feature that allows you to watch the whole movie in chronological order.

But a possible rival to that feature has emerged. I'm really late to finding this out but I was recently re-watching "Apollo 13" and was stunned to see a second commentary track with commentary by Astronaut Jim Lovell and his wife Marilyn Lovell.

Such a commentary track could potentially rival the movie itself. The only thing that could be better than a movie about a real astronaut going to space is hearing from the man who lived it.

Is it the NEW greatest bonus feature of all-time? Well, no. The thing I most want from space travel is an indication of what it's like - the sights, the sounds, the feeling. Lovell isn't a touchy, feely guy though, as an astronaut from the 60s, he's very technical and stoic. So you get a lot of talk about "at this point I had to decrease the rate of ascent or we might not make it" and comments about the capsule rather than a first-hand account of the experience.

Still, one of the things I always wonder about movies based on true stories is how true they really are. And Jim and Marilyn's commentary is great for that aspect. He's very good about saying what things really happened, what was poetic license, what was generally true but with some details changed, etc. And it turns out, "Apollo 13" is even more accurate than I had thought. Even things I guessed were made up for the movie turned out to be real.

So is it the best bonus feature ever? No, but I'll give it second place. And re-watching "Apollo 13" is something I would recommend people do anyway.

If you're like me and want a movie about the experience of going into space, you HAVE to see "In the Shadow of the Moon" (2007). It gives me chills just thinking about it.

Tonight Show - Re-Axe

I really don't know what to say and can barely comment.



They know that lightning can strike twice, they're so clearly begging for it to happen... I'm sure Jimmy know about the original... How does he not have a joke prepared for the situation? In fact, don't even make a joke, just repeat Carson's.



There's no reason to be throwing axes with Jennifer Lawrence and it isn't a coincidence that the boards and cowboy drawing are exactly the same. They're trying to win the lottery, it completely pays off and they didn't bother to plan for what comes next.

I'm maybe being overly critical, perhaps my mood is affecting my judgement.... The only thing I can say for sure is I just don't understand.

Conan - Jordan Schlansky Star Wars vs. Star Trek

Jordan Schlansky briefly explains the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek (and why Star Wars is superior).

Mini-Golf Championship of 1961

In an earlier post, I bemoaned the fact that the "Putt Putt" championship was played on a course without all the signature mini-golf trappings. There's no ferris wheel, no windmill, no waterfall, nothing.

But if you go all the way back to 1961, things change ever so slightly. If you go all the way back to the 1961 PPA "Parade of Champions" and get to Hole 7, it has a barn with doors that periodically swing open and shut.

And it's all in glorious grey.

In later holes, there's a loop-de-loop hole, a ramp hole and a pipe hole. Finally. Thank You. Now that's a sport.

And speaking of sports, when we get to Hole 14, professional putter Frank Holt decides it's time to really 60s it up and lights up a cigarette during the match.

Athletes! Classic.

Other than the different styles and mannerisms of a different era, the 1961 Putting Championship broadcast is largely the same format as the 1985 edition. One notable difference is that in 1961, they refer to a diagram to show the layout for every hole.

Look at that style. They even have a pointer to refer to it. Here's Hole 11.

Remember I told you about the loop-de-loop hole? Here's what that looks like in brilliant abstraction.

Man, Wes Anderson, eat your heart out.

Good Game - Episode 1

I went into this show with no expectations but it's actually pretty funny. It's not perfect but it really only suffers from the same problems that every other comedy made today suffer from.

Due mainly to Dan's delivery, enough jokes land to make it worth watching.

Late Show - First Episode

It was 24 years ago today that the Late Show with David Letterman first premiered.

I remember seeing the commercials leading up to the first episode that "Dave" was "coming to CBS" but didn't really know what that meant at the time. My mom was a Dave fan but would never in a million years have let me stay up to watch it in 1993.



Having not seen it at the time - and watching it now - I'm not filled with nostalgia, but rather something much weirder - excitement. In this first episode, it really seems like the dawn of a brand new era. A seismic shift has occurred and the world will be better from now on because of it. Very strange to be excited for a future that's already past. Very strange indeed.

Now all we need to do is bring the Paul Newman "shoot point" back into common usage.

Continue - Buck Bumble

The boys at Continue are doing their part against the insect hordes, are you?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?

Norm Macdonald Live - Dana Carvey

The whole episode is pretty good but the first half is gold.

[Original Link Broken]

Link to Episode.

Space The Infinite Frontier

In honor of staring straight at the eclipse for over an hour today, Space The Infinite Frontier with Harry Caray.

Irish People Watch IASIP

Irish people watch and react to "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". It's two great things that go great together. How can you lose with these two?

Late Night - My Morning Jacket

This performance of this song is my favorite musical performance in the history of Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Actually, the competition isn't that crowded for that category - for whatever reason there were only a handful of good musical performances that come to mind readily.

But almost as impressive as this performance is how it exists on youtube. This performance was originally uploaded to youtube from someone's VHS copy but this video is officially released from the record company and in HD. That means that a record company had to be aware of an old TV performance, value it enough to contact NBC and Conaco to negotiate the rights, obtain those rights, obtain an HD copy and convert it for youtube upload. That's something I would have thought impossible. Everyone watching old clips on youtube wishes there was a better quality version but this time it actually happened.

The only thing I would change now would be the way Conan says "Kentuckyyy".

My Morning Jacket - One Big Holiday:

Game Grumps - Zelda's Adventure

The Game Grumps are currently in the middle of an exciting "Zelda's Adventure" playthrough. If you've never heard of ZA, it's the third Zelda game released for the failed Philips CD-i game system. The Zelda games for the CD-i are widely considered to be the worst of the Zelda series and "Zelda's Adventure" is supposedly the worst of the three.

In this episode, the Grumps face the evil foe Lort. Remember the memorable character Lort? Lort, from all your Zelda video games? Well you're in luck, because you're going to get to see him one more time here in this episode.



Good Lort.

Late Show - Fun with Rupert Compilation

The classic Late Show bit: Rupert Jee walks the streets and says and does whatever Dave tells him to say and do.

Towards the beginning, Dave frames it as a "sociological experiment" but is usually more to the point: it's "just really annoying people."

The "it was my thumb" line is one of my favorite moments in Late Show history.



When I first saw this bit, it was thrilling and hilarious and amazing. For some reason, it isn't quite that anymore. Maybe the world has changed, maybe I've changed, or maybe it's that I know how it ends (the video at the end of the clip).

Regardless, there's not a day that goes by that I don't want to see the jazz box.

Tonight Show - Will It Hot Dog?

Rhett, Link and Jimmy ask the age-old question, "Will it Hot Dog?"

Thunder in Your Heart

It may be the greatest combination of all-time. I'm so excited, I'm posting this before the video even ends.

Norm Macdonald Live - David Letterman

Well I advertised that it was coming so I may as well post the end result.

Let's start with some warnings first.

1) There's nothing tooooo amazing or revelatory here. It's a fun and interesting conversation to watch it if you have a free hour.
2) Everyone is complaining about the extreme closeups. Maybe listen to it as a podcast.
3) You got in-show commercials in addition to youtube ads. Shouldn't it really be one or the other?
4) Luther Burbank was a famous botanist who developed many new varieties of fruits and vegetables.

[Original Link Broken]

Updated Link.

First Drafts of Rock: Blowin' in the Wind

This is a cute one for all the old people. Peter, Paul and Mary's first draft of "Blowin' in the Wind".

I assume it's coincidental that Kyra Sedgwick is playing Mary Travers (being Kevin Bacon's wife) but man, she is a dead ringer. I would never have guessed.

Conan's Superhero Vehicle

Conan unveils the Flaming C's vehicle at ComicCon.

RLM - Terrible Han Solo Movie Ideas

Mike Stoklasa and Rich Evans discuss some terrible ideas for the new Han Solo spinoff movie.

"IT'S SO BAD, IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!"

Norm Macdonald Live Returns 7/25

A new season of Norm Macdonald Live starts July 25th and the first guest? David Letterman.

[Video Link Broken]

I don't want to spoil anything but the theme of the new season seems to be extreme closeups.

Unexpected Cameos

For some reason I've come across some unexpected cameos lately so why not...

In Season 8, Episode 18 of Cheers, someone shows up as a background extra sitting at the bar. A young Glenn Beck appears in the background of the episode "Severe Crane Damage".

Enhance.

Even more surprising, to me, is an obscure actor in one episode of Golden Girls. In the Golden Girls episode "Sophia's Wedding" (Season 4 Episode 6 and 7) there is a strange wedding scene with Elvis impersonators.

And one of the Elvis impersonators happens to be a very young Quentin Tarantino.

Apologies for the picture quality, it's the best I could do. It actually looks more like Morrissey, really.

And that's really it except that I'm a slave for the Law of Threes....

Watching the first episode of Police Squad, there's a scene in a dentist's waiting room populated with patients. Playing one of the waiting patients is a very young David Schwimmer.

It's his first ever role.

Freestyle Canoeing

I can't do much better than one of the comments on the youtube page:

"First I thought he ran out of tricks but then he pulls that 360 spin and I felt like the lady in red."

There are actually journalists and photographers there. What is going on?

Late Night - The Guy Under the Seats

A compilation of every "The Guy Under the Seats" appearance.

I'm constantly amazed at how Late Night with David Letterman was so completely deconstructing the format - and how early on they were doing it. "Meta" comedy is so big on the internet that we think of it as "current" but here it is in the mid '80s.

Continue? - Lester the Unlikely

You know who likes video games? Nerds. It's 1994 already, so why don't we base a video game character around a nerd? There's no way it can fail.


My favorite Kanye West album is Pablo Honey.

Man Of War

I don't want to spoil it for anyone else but after nearly 20 years, this one feels like a disappointment. It feels like it was left unreleased because it wasn't finished rather than the usual reason Radiohead don't release songs: to torture people. Even with the editing, strange audio and distortion. I'll take the Meeting People is Easy version any day. Maybe that's nostalgia but it's the truth.

Yes - Yours Is No Disgrace

Here's "Yours is no Disgrace" if you have 11 minutes free.

"On a sailing ship to nowhere, leaving any place..."



The interplay between the main theme on keyboards and the guitar in this song is just magical, in my opinion.

The album version is available on youtube so I could have posted that. But then I figured, "Fellas, you're really gonna want that rotating mannequin head on the track."

Steve Howe says in an interview that the intro was rhythmically inspired by a "famous television series" but doesn't say which. There seems to be a lot of different theories. My money would be on the Gideon's Way Theme:

RIP Adam West

This past week I saw a Batman '66 action figure and thought back to how big that show was to me when I was a kid. I can't put into words how exciting and cool it was to me at the time. Some of that excitement survives to this day. If it was available on Netflix, I'd probably still watch it regularly. But don't bother looking for it.

I imagine the Batman tv series had a similar effect on Conan O'Brien. Something that perhaps isn't widely known is that, in his time between writing for SNL and The Simpsons, Conan created a TV series starring Adam West. The series, called Lookwell, was co-created by Robert Smigel who would go on to be Conan's first head writer at Late Night.

West starred as Lookwell, a washed up but self-important actor who was so famous for playing a detective on TV that he begins to believe he can solve crimes in real life. The combination comedy/mystery would presumably see him taking on a new crime every week using the powers of acting.

Although the pilot for Lookwell was produced, it was not picked up. But you can see the series' lone episode on youtube.

GMM - Game Grumps

Worlds are once again colliding... This time to perfection.

Let's call this "Lose A Turn: The Sequel"

"Lose A Turn: The Original":

Tonight Show - Norm

Norm Macdonald on the Tonight Show.

The Whole Foods Parking Lot

People think that just because you're in a parking lot, suddenly the lines don't mean anything. I'm driving down the official lane but I have to slam on the brakes because someone's making a diagonal across everything. There is some leeway but it's not Thunderdome.

Late Night - Norm Macdonald and The Trash

Norm recalls an old joke on the last Late Show episode and then the original joke from when it aired.

Radiohead - I Promise

Any time Radiohead want to do their best Roy Orbison, they are welcome to do so. In fact, I can't think of another combination that I would enjoy more. But, as this took 20 years to release, I don't expect it to happen very often.

Late Night - Andy Kaufman

Andy Kaufman appears on Late Night on 1/7/83. Andy's recently learned to love and introduces his family to America.

The 1985 Mini-Golf Championship Match #1

If I've ever posted a better phrase on this blog than "1985 Mini-Golf Championship", I don't remember it. But who can remember anything at a time like this?

This video is my new favorite thing. In the back of my mind I always thought professional mini-golf could exist but I never saw evidence for it one way or the other. And now it's here in all its glory.

This is the kind of concept you'd expect to see on Adult Swim these days. Except you can't parody it because it's already perfect.



Random thoughts:

• "Rookie of the Year", "Former Champion", discussion of the mental and physical battle, mini-golf - it's all here. 
• The "color commentary" is by Billy Packer - I think that's the same Billy Packer who commentated for college basketball.
• One of the contestants has been working out in the off-season to add muscle mass. Perfect.
• The girl who follows them with the scoreboard! Oh my flavors.
• No windmills? No waterfalls? No nothing? I wonder if that's just how they do it in professional mini-golf or if it just happens to be the most boring course on Earth.
• Why doesn't this exist now?! I would watch!

Tonight Show - Dramatic Yelp Reviews

Tonight Show - End of the Streak

There was a time when I had watched every single episode of Conan (both on the Tonight Show and the show "Conan") but that streak came to an end in November of 2015. There was a time when I had watched every episode of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and that is still true. Then when he left the show, I watched every episode of Late Night with Seth Meyers before stopping that at 100 episodes.

And up until now I've watched every episode of the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and now that streak is coming to an end. (I've watched every minute the show except that one thing, but we don't talk about that. ever.)

I watched every episode of the Tonight Show up to, and including, May 3, 2017 - Episode #667 - Guests: Kaley Cuoco, Horatio Sanz and I will not be watching #668 - Chris Pine and Fran Lebowitz (nothing against them).

My nature/instincts suggest that I should write a long blog post explaining the reasons why and critiquing the show's evolution. But there's so much negativity on the internet, I don't think I need to add to it.

Suffice it to say: I still enjoy the show, but I just don't have the time to spend anymore. I have a free hour today where I could potentially watch an episode but I find I'd rather do other things (I've got a podcast I'd rather listen to, for instance). I'll still keep up with the comedy clips on youtube, but I've had my fill of monologues and have had enough celebrity chat to last a lifetime.

Rich Evans' Blade Runner Audition

Sure Ryan Gosling dazzles in the new "Blade Runner 2049" trailer, but Rich Evans also auditioned for the part.... And he may be just as good.

Irish People & Wheel of Fortune

Irish people experience Wheel of Fortune for the first time. Good craik.

Cheers & The Internet

The internet can be a maddening place, sometimes.

There's a particular bit of trivia from the "Cheers" episode "Coach Buries a Grudge" that I found interesting from Cheers' Oral History. It's about Nick Colasanto (the Coach) and how, as his health deteriorated, he had increasing trouble remembering his lines and took to writing his lines on hidden places around the set:

"Ted Danson: When Nick had heart disease, he was getting less and less oxygen. There wasn't a surface on that set that didn't have his lines written down. There was one episode where a friend of Coach dies, and he says, "It's as if he's still with us now." Nick had written the line on the wood slats by the stairs the actors would use to enter the studio. Nicky dies, and the next year, we're all devastated, and the first night we come down the stairs, right there was his line: "It's as if he were with us now." And so every episode, we'd go by it and pat it as we'd come down to be introduced to the audience.

And then, one year, they repainted the sets and they painted over the line. People almost quit. Seriously. They were so emotionally infuriated that that had been taken away from them."

This trivia is repeated on imdb, the Seattle Times, the awful click-bait article "Secrets You Never Knew About Cheers", and "12 Frothy Facts About Cheers", and it goes on and on.

The only problem with this, of course, is that that line never appears in the episode. I've watched it twice now and downloaded a file of the subtitles... and Coach doesn't say that line.

The closest thing I see is that Coach says, "It'll be like having my old buddy back for all-time." That would make sense - Danson paraphrased the line from memory - but then the problem is that line is said no where near any stairs or a door (some sites claim it was written by a door). The only way the anecdote makes sense is if the line was written next to the physical location where it was spoken.

I wish there was some way to ask follow up questions to understand what the actual story is. I'm sure the trivia isn't entirely fabricated, someone just needs to so some research instead of just regurgitating the same misinformation over and over. Unfortunately the internet is the place where no one knows your name (wah wahh). Maddening. Even worse when I consider how bothered I am by something so amazingly inconsequential.

By the way, "Coach Buries a Grudge" is only in the second season but I'm pretty sure I can say I've already found my favorite episode of the series. If you want a single episode of "Cheers" to watch, that would be my recommendation. It's amazing.

And if you want to feel internet-crazy too, why not check out the never-aired episode of "Cheers" promoting savings bonds? Yes it's a real thing. Don't believe me? Then why is all this text a link? It's real and it's like something out of an alternate dimension. Never before have I seen a modern show from such a totally different era.

John Adams

Coming across this video on youtube, I was reminded how great the "John Adams" series was. I really should re-watch it from the beginning.

In this scene, the Revolutionary War is over and John Adams is sent to King George III basically as an ambassador. Great television. Make sure you turn off annotations.

[Youtube Video Deleted]

Tonight Show - Freestylin'

The latest edition of Freestylin' with the Roots.

MST3K - Season 11 First Reaction

Now, I don't personally believe there is such a thing as "spoilers" for Mystery Science Theater, but if you do, stop reading now.

I just finished watching the new season of MST3K. I wasn't specifically trying to get through it fast, it just sort of happened that way. The only thing nerdier than binge-watching MST3K would be to post a full, detailed review of it on my blog and my self-image couldn't take that right now. So instead, I just wanted to get a few observations out of my system.

First off, they did a great job. This is a reboot in the vein of Star Wars (oh no, I've mentioned Star Wars, this is spiraling out of control fast) in that they made something new, made something their own but were lovingly loyal to the original, and therefore didn't "piss off the fans". The jokes are funny, they throw in a fan-service in-joke every once in a while, some of the original writers are involved, the movies are terrible, they got some celebrity cameos but made sure their presence made sense in the context of the show and the jokes are funny. They continue the tradition of musical numbers excellently and there's even a Christmas episode.

So overall, I loved it.

There's also lots of "world building" in the show - not something I need but it adds some nice color.

Going into the season, I was pretty curious about the celebrity cameos. Previously, the biggest guest star they had gotten was Leonard Maltin. But, as I said, they turned out to be a nice surprise. For those of you interested, here are some I remember:

• 11.01 - Erin Gray and HWil HWheaton
• 11.04 - Neil Patrick Harris
• 11.06 - Jerry Seinfeld
• 11.12 - Mark Hamill
• 11.14 - Joel McHale
• And also Joel Hodgson, Mary Jo Pehl, Bill Corbitt and Paul Chaplin appear throughout.

One thing I started picking up (and subsequently made notes on) was that it became evident that one of the writers is a native of Philadelphia, though I don't know who - imdb hasn't been updated and it would take more googling than I cared to do. I know Joel has lived in the area for a little while but I don't think it's coming from him. Here are some of the references someone threw in:

• 11.02 - Cry Wilderness - A reference to the Phillie Phanatic.
• 11.08 - The Loves of Hercules - A reference to the Mummers.
• 11.09 - Yongary - A "traffic" joke about the Schuylkill.
• 11.10 - Wizards of the Lost Kingdom - A reference to Citizen's Bank Park.
• 11.13 - The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t - A reference to Bryn Mawr.
• 11.14 - At the Earth's Core - A reference to the Human Heart exhibit at the Franklin Institute. [Deep cut].

And just for good measure here are my favorite episodes so far:

1. 11.01 - Reptilicus.
2. 11.03 - The Time Travelers
3. 11.10 - Wizards of the Lost Kingdom
4. 11.02 - Cry Wilderness
5. 11.06 - Starcrash

You'll note that the list is heavily weighted towards the earlier episodes. The season doesn't really fall apart as it goes along, that's probably just my subjective mood at the time. These are all first impressions, after all.

One final note. There's been a lot of hype and hoopla about adding a new bot to the crew: Mr. Waverly. It's a big risk introducing a new character into the mix. I consider what they do with that character to be one of the masterstrokes of the new season.

Late Night - The Crocuses

Another short segment from Dave's Mom.

Dave's Mom

Dorothy Mengering, David Letterman's mom has passed away at age 95.

Dave's mom was always a highlight of the show. Her appearances every year on Thanksgiving became one of my favorite traditions. If it was Thanksgiving night, I was watching Dave guess the pies...



And this Top Ten is a highlight:

MST3K - Season 11

The new 11th season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 "drops" on Netflix this week. Friday April 14th, to be exact, and I can tell you it's going to be good.

If you're like me and you watch the hype and hoopla concerning the new season you'll see a lot being made of the special effects, the sets, the guest stars, the new bots, the new actors... All that is fine, and I'm a little curious about the special guest stars as well (Jerry Seinfeld), but as I said in a previous post, it's all about getting in the movie theater and making jokes and very little else about the show matters.

As a Kickstarter backer I was able to see the first episode before it gets officially released on Friday. And it's pretty great. They watch a terrible movie that I've never heard of in my life and the jokes are fast and furious. If I have any complaint, it's that the jokes were so fast it's hard to keep up at some points. It demands your full attention or you're going to miss a lot.

So, as a hardcore fan, I approve... I really enjoyed it... And I'm officially as excited about a "tv" show as I have been about any tv show in recent memory. It's back, somehow it really is back.

Cereal? But How?

Sure, I'd like to enjoy cereal but it's just so confusing. "Puffs", "chex", "fiber", "bunches", "cap'ns"... How could I ever hope to understand such an dizzying field?! Is there any hope or are some of us destined to a dull cereal-ess existence?

Well "Cereal Nerd" Toby Radloff says unequivocally "YES"... Uh, to the first part.... Yes, to the hope... Toby is here to make sense of a complex world and bring you his own cereal reviews. His precise analysis is what you need to choose the brand of bran that's right for you.

Continue? - Indiana Jones

The guys play Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures.


As a bonus, I've never heard of this game in my life but it looks good.

Tonight Show - Good Smore-ning

MST3K New Season Trailer

It just so happens that April 13th Rifftrax's viewing of "Samurai Cop" comes to theaters and then the new season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is released on Netflix on April 14th. Not just the first episode, the entire season. And then Red Letter Media has a screening of "Samurai Cop" on April 16th but in 2011. Still a weird coincidence, if you ask me.

Netflix just released the trailer for the new season. Nothing very exciting, in my eyes. It's all about the movies and the jokes for me.

Tonight Show - Interview Gone Wrong

This is kind of fun. J.J. Abrams is producing a Broadway play and brings out some of the cast to help promote it.

$1 Donut vs. $100 Donut

I'm going to say it now, and it probably goes without saying (I hope it goes without saying), putting gold leaf on a donut is a waste of gold and a waste of a donut.

2017 Cardboard Classic

The rules of the Cardboard Classic are simple: make a sled out of cardboard and glue and then ride it down a hill. Here are this year's entries:

GMM - Bad Movie Fill In The Blank

How fascinating to watch people discover Neil Breen for the first time. I can't believe they didn't know about "Teen Witch" or "Death Race 2000".

Oscars 2017

Gee, I wonder if there'll be any political statements at the Academy Awards this year? Do ya think?

So, overall, this was a year of "good but not great" movies. I pretty much enjoyed all the nominees but nothing was amazing. All of these nominees would have lost if they had been released in any other year.

Keep in mind that my picks are not predictions, they are my opinions.

Best Actress

Nominees:

• Isabelle Huppert – Elle
• Ruth Negga – Loving
• Natalie Portman – Jackie 
• Emma Stone – La La Land
• Meryl Streep – Florence Foster Jenkins

I'm starting with Best Actress because I couldn't care less about this category. All nominees were good enough that it may as well be a 5-way tie. And there's a certain variety where Ruth Negga for instance is such a pleasant character and so naturalistic in her acting but she doesn't have very much to do in the film and then on the other hand is Natalie Portman who's basically in every frame of her movie and has a huge range of emotions but who also phases in and out of believability.

And then Emma Stone is excellent in "La La Land"... but again, she's doing a very good job of playing a character that isn't that different from herself.


My Pick: Meryl Streep in "Florence Foster Jenkins". Yes, it's a huge cliche that whenever any awards are held, you have to give awards to Meryl Streep. But, I'm stuck. I had a "coin flip" situation on my hands and I think Streep's performance was maybe a hair more worthy than the others. But it really is close. Whoever wins this category, I won't be surprised.

A quick note about Viola Davis. Had she been nominated for her role in "Fences", she would easily been my easy choice for Best Actress and I wouldn't be complaining about how close it is. She's marvelous in that movie. But she chose to be nominated for "Supporting Actress" even though she's the lead. Too bad.

Best Actor

Nominees:

• Casey Affleck – Manchester by the Sea 
• Andrew Garfield – Hacksaw Ridge
• Ryan Gosling – La La Land
• Viggo Mortensen – Captain Fantastic
• Denzel Washington – Fences

Unlike the Actress category, these are all men... Wait, I mean, unlike the Actress category, there is some variety here and there is also a clear winner.

If you watch "Manchester by the Sea", it's pretty good but watch Affleck's acting. He plays a mannequin. But he doesn't play one of those really expressive mannequins, he plays a piece of wood. Now, this is not a knock (on wood) against him - he's playing the character exactly as it should be played. The character has become emotionally numb and repressive. But when someone plays an emotionless character, how are you going to say he's acting? I mean, this is the only nominated role where I think I could have played the part just as well. And this is notable because he's evidently the front-runner to win!

Ryan Gosling... I don't know why he's nominated other than that people really loved La La Land. I would lobby the same "I could do just as well" argument against his performance except he danced and played piano. Still, the award isn't for piano playing.

My Pick: Denzel Washington in "Fences". This one's easy. He's phenomenal in his role and head-and-shoulders above everyone else. I know it seems "too safe" to pick Streep and Denzel in the two acting categories, but what can I do, I legitimately thought they were better and in this case, it's not even close. Had they both been nominated, my two acting picks would both have come from "Fences".

Best Picture

Nominees:

• Arrival
• Fences
• Hacksaw Ridge
• Hell or High Water
• Hidden Figures
• La La Land
• Lion
• Manchester by the Sea
• Moonlight

Again, the over-arching theme: good movies, not great movies.

Special commendation to "La La Land" and "Lion". I really enjoyed both and they're the "second place" here.

"Hell or High Water" is a fun heist movie that's very much trying to be "No Country for Old Men". It's not nearly as good as that movie and I don't think it deserves to be nominated for Best Picture but still, a pretty good movie if you're in the mood for anything in that vein.

A note about "Fences". Both leads would be my top choices for the acting categories yet it's not my Best Picture. "Fences" is clearly, obviously, undeniably and painfully a filmed play. There are real locations and close-up camera angles but it is a play to the point of being painful. The scenes saturated in dialogue upon dialogue and that allows the acting performances to shine while also making for a sometimes great, sometimes painful viewing experience. And the ending is sooo pretentious and stupid. I'd still recommend it for the acting alone.

My Pick: "Hacksaw Ridge". A controversial pick, in fact, I fully believe it has 0 chance to win the actual award. I will be the first to admit that "Hacksaw Ridge" has its flaws. It's too simplistic, replete with war movie cliches and has a love story that's so idealized that it seems like a parody of other love stories... It has its flaws and I don't deny that. But this is a case of having to pick a tie-breaker among a group of movies that are all flawed and all have their own weaknesses. So how to break the tie?

I judge movies by the emotions they make me feel, that's the bottom line for me. I can judge a comedy against a drama - two very different styles - by simply looking at the size of the reaction (whatever the reaction was). And I think the battle scenes in "Hacksaw Ridge" were so intense and so harrowing that it was a "higher spike" of emotion than any of the other films, even if other parts of the movie were admittedly weak. So that is criteria by which it slightly rises a hair above the other movies. That, and the fact that it's a mostly true story does a lot to redeem the negatives.

So that's the Oscars.

Grep - Return to Innocence

If you're not familiar with the Enya song "Return to Innocence", don't bother.


A few interesting trivia tidbits about Enya's "Return to Innocence" (because I know that's what drives the clicks):

1) As the video notes, it's not actually sampling a Native American chant. It's from a native group of Taiwan.

2) The person it samples was not originally paid and sued the record company.

3) The drums on the song are a sample of "When the Levee Breaks". Whoooah.

MST3K New Season

The release date of the next season of MST3K has just been announced. The new season of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" will premiere on Netflix April 14th, 2017. That is all.

Tonight Show - Do Not Playlist

If you don't like an unresolved mystery and need to hear who Big Jimmy is, here you go. But proceed with extreme caution.

Tonight Show - Head Swap!!!

It's been a long time but Head Swap is back!

Tonight Show - Freestylin' with The Roots

I'll be honest, this edition felt a little weak to me. That is, until yacht rock made an appearance. There's nothing like spontaneously created smooth music.

Game Grumps - Michael Ian Black

Michael Ian Black appears as a guest on Game Grumps and plays the hit blockbuster game Birthday Bash.



"We don't care what else you do - you want laser gremlins, do laser gremlins..."

Michael Ian Black's great. I wish he was in more things.

The Super Boring

I have an ongoing project to boycott the Super Bowl as long as I don't have a rooting interest

(Pre-2011, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).

It seemed to me that a good manly way to commemorate the Super Bowl would be to have a nice steak for dinner. Unfortunately, I screwed up cooking it and completely ruined it. By "ruined" I don't mean that it wasn't very good, by "ruined" I mean it was completely inedible. In fact, eating it would have been dangerous.

Not Pictured: My steak's wellness.

So then I made some spaghetti and fortunately I didn't ruin that.

Next up was what to watch. For Christmas I received a DVD of the "Best Of" the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, so I thought I'd watch that. The fact that it contained the word "super" seemed too good to pass up. But it turns out, it's just the cartoon segments without the live-action segments with Captain Lou Albano. Come on, that was the best part!



Gotta have Lou. So then I turned it off. I could've watched a few episodes on Youtube but I didn't think of that at the time.

Earlier in the evening, a new episode of Best of the Worst was released so I watched that.



Of course, in the process of writing this I realized that Best of the Worst is what I did last year too. And I've used the word play of this post's title before as well. Bahhh! This whole thing is a giant sham.

An imperfect night but pretty good, over all.

10th President John Tyler

In second grade, my class went learned cursory facts about each and every U.S. President in order. It was perhaps because 1988 was an election year. As a young child it came as a small shock that there was going to be a new president. I assumed Ronald Reagan was going to be president forever. But whatever the case, those lessons sparked an interest in the Presidents that's lasted ever since.

But even with my inclination towards the subject, I couldn't tell you a single interesting thing about 10th President John Tyler.*

Until now.

It turns out that John Tyler, who was born in 1790 has a grandchild who is still alive today. That's right.

Born in 1790, Tyler had a child in 1853, when he was 63.
That child had a child in 1924, when he was 71.
That child, born in 1924, is now 92 and still alive.

Tonight Show - Bachelor Reenactment

For those that missed the high drama that is "The Bachelor", Tariq and Questlove reenact the pivotal scene. Be warned: this is intense.



There's something else I'd like to see. Interspersed with all the scenes in these "reality" shows is always the participants speaking directly to the camera. They could incorporate those as Shakespearean soliloquies. One stands up, gets a spotlight and delivers their lofty dialogue.

Ernie - I Don't Want to Live on the Moon

This is the song that was going through my head as I woke up this morning. What does it all mean?

Triumph at the Trump Inauguration

North Koreans Try American BBQ

A few weeks ago, I posted a video of interviews with North Korean defectors. The makers of that video decided to do something with the same perspective but with a more fun approach. So here are North Koreans trying American BBQ for the first time.

It starts slow but stick with it.

Bless You, It's January!

It's that time of year again - the time when movie studios leave their trash at the side of the movie theaters everywhere. Get ready for this month and this year in movies with Red Letter Media's hype video!

$11 Steak vs. $306 Steak

This has already gone viral and everyone's probably seen it already but it's been slow lately so...

Two guys from buzzfeed try 3 different steaks on 3 different price levels to determine what is the best steak for the money...



I want that $306 steak.

And here's an episode where they eat $100 pasta.


Even more than the steak, I want that $8 pasta.