JonTron - Combating Anti-Sloth Hate

 

JonTron - Titanic II

Note to self: never do an interview with "60 Minutes Australia."

JonTron - Magic Short Bus

 

By JonTron's standards, this isn't great. However, it's been 8 days and I haven't posted anything and I haven't seen anything else to post. Sorry guys, it's an entertainment famine out there.

JonTron - Gaming Compounds

 

I don't understand eSports, I don't know what a gaming compound is, I don't know what 100 Thieves denotes, I am lost. Funny video though.

JonTron - KFC Conspiracies

 

Definitely Bones.

JonTron - The Juiceman Jay Kordich

 

This isn't JonTron's strongest work but the subject is strong. There was an era there where I was watching the Juiceman informercial on a regular basis. 

The one I loved most isn't covered in the video and I haven't found it on youtube either. The one I was obsessed with was the one in a seminar-like setting where he's basically delivering a juice sermon and excitedly getting in people's faces. He was kind of a proto-Don Beveridge. This clip is the closest thing I can find to give you some of the idea:

I loved his infomercials so much I used to juice with my grandfather's juicer, and then later I'd do it with my dad and I own a juicer to this day. I really should use it more. I also need to learn more about that master class. I will pay that tuition if I can obtain some sort of official rank in the Juiceman hierarchy.

JonTron - Weird Old People Products

 

JonTron - Steven Seagal

JonTron - Getting Your Boating License

JonTron - Kid Nation Part 2

JonTron - Kid Nation

[Edit: Oh good, it's doing that thing again where embedded youtube videos disappear. Here is the link.]

I never understood the uproar that this show caused. First off, it's obvious that the claim of "no adults" is a lie, every second they're there they're there's an adult with them. The best part is when the kids talk to the camera about how weird it is to not have adults while an adult holds the camera and asked the question. Secondly, for generations, American kids used to go to Summer Camp. How is this worse than Summer Camp? It's better. There are no cameras at Summer Camp. Also, they don't periodically ask the kids if they want to go home at Summer Camp (as far as I know).

Not saying the premise interests me in the slightest, just that I didn't see what the big deal was.

JonTron - The Goop Lab

I went into this thinking the Goop stuff was overdone and tired. But funny is funny. Some of this is kind of Not Safe for Work but is anyone at work anymore?


Happy Easter.

Katy Perry - Dino City

I've been hearing Katy Perry's "Firework" on the radio recently, for no good reason that I can discern. The only connection I've ever had with that song is this review of Dino City.

From early 2011, this was the video that went viral and put JonTron on the map. 9 years later, it still holds up pretty well. Without this review, there's no JonTron. Without JonTron, there's no Game Grumps.* Without Game Grumps, there's no Ninja Sex Party. The whole world changes, it creates a tangent... it skews the future.




I was sure I posted this on my blog but searching revealed nothing. I was completely asleep at the wheel on this one.

* Without a plan, there's no attack; without attack, there's no victory.

JonTron - The Head to Head Game Jam

Two teams have 72 hours to develop a video game from random ideas and a panel of judges decides who is the winner.



Center of this picture is the security guard from "Today's Special", which is what I was reminded of:

JonTron - Workplace Safety

The world is a dangerous place. And your work probably is located in the world, therefore your workplace is a dangerous place. Join JonTron as he teaches you how to look out for sudden changes in elevation - sometimes called "steps"... of course "steps" is exactly what THEY want you to call them.

JonTron - Soulja Boy's New Video Game Console

JonTron reviews the new video game console that Soulja Boy has invented.

As for me, I don't know what to think. I'm reserving judgement until we hear what Ja thinks.

Jontron - Flex Tape II

The first third of this video is very reminiscent of the (Canadian) Newsroom three part episode "The Meltdown". "The Meltdown" was a brilliant homage to Fellini's "8 1/2". The idea for Fellini's "8 1/2" came from getting ready to make a film and forgetting what it was supposed to be about. Likewise, I forget where I was going with this.

Jontron - Weird Workout Videos

We are all human beings. I'm including myself in that, I am a regular carbon-based human. And so given that you are a human being and I am just as much a human being, not different in any way and certainly not an alien impostor, to the extent that I don't even know why I would bring that up... the point is that we humans tend to gain a little bit of weight around the holidays.

Fortunately, Jontron has some workout videos for you that you can use to maintain a regular, unsuspicious, human shape.

JonTron - The Halloween Turducken

JonTron thinks that Halloween needs a signature dish and suggests the "Frankenstein of Poultry" - the Turducken.

It doesn't make sense but just go with it.



So the premise... we have set meals for other holidays but not Halloween. For Thanksgiving, it's turkey, for Christmas, it's ham. Hold up. Is it ham for Christmas? I always thought Easter was a ham meal. Is it ham for Easter and Christmas? Because if it is, that ruins the premise that each holiday gets a meal - a unique meal, anyway.

Or are other families eating something else for Easter? My family eats ham for Easter, turkey for Thanksgiving and steak for Christmas. I can understand that probably my family is unique but I'm still not convinced there are rules.

In England, the agreed upon Christmas meal is turkey. That's standard, I know. But then they don't celebrate Thanksgiving, obviously.

Jontron - Drug PSAs

Shoutout to Lou Albano and Philly 57.



The time is now for strong leadership. Reagan for President.