Best of the Worst - Cannon Christmas in July

Back to form, I think, for "Best of the Worst." It's all Cannon movies.

I will say, without spoiling anything, that the Star Trek-related gag they do was very unsettling for me.

Wild Horses (2015)

 

"Wild Horses" sucks, Craig.

Continuing my exploration of Robert Duvall movies and I cannot be definitive here - I haven't watched them all, nor will I - but I may have hit upon the worst movie Robert Duvall ever made.

With such a legendary actor in such a lousy movie, what scapegoat can I blame for this outrage?

Written By: Robert Duvall

Directed By: Robert Duvall

Starring: Robert Duvall.

DANG IT.

"Wild Horses" stars Robert Duvall, James Franco and Josh Hartnett (remember Josh Hartnett?). Three fine actors, and yet none of these people plays the protagonist of the movie. The protagonist of this movie is, apparently, played by one of the worst actors in the history of film. I say "one of the worst" but cannot say that she is "the worst" for I have seen Rod in "Birdemic" ....but she's clearly one of the worst. The main plot is a crime investigation of sorts - Luciana Pedraza is an Argentinian playing a Native American cop with no emotion and a Texan accent; she is paired with a cop partner (not worth looking up) who is coincidentally played by another insanely awful actor. Whenever there are scenes of these two people interacting, it's incredible, it's like staring into infinity mirror of emotionlessness.

How did this happen? How does the best American actor of his generation not weed out terrible actors when casting his own movie? Well, I can only explain the terrible lead - the terrible lead is played by his real-life wife, a woman 41 years younger than himself.

Bad acting from main characters is huge in this movie but isn't the entire problem. There's also bad acting from the minor characters - and in pivotal scenes. Very pivotal and very emotional and very terrible scenes. But also, the cinematography of this movie varies between on-par-with-Walker-Texas-Ranger and dreadful. There are moments with bad sound. These moments could have easily been fixed in ADR but weren't, somehow, for some reason. The editing is weird and awkward. The pacing is weird. The movie is lifeless and not believable - it's simply boring. At many points, this movie doesn't even feel like a movie. 

If you've ever wondered what would happen if you dropped a great actor into a terrible movie, here's your experiment. I would like to say that Robert Duvall transcends his surroundings but I can't say that. This movie is so empty and unconvincing it even makes Robert Duvall's acting seem questionable.

I looked on youtube for a scene or compilation of the bad acting in "Wild Horses" to share for demonstration, but I see nothing. That seems strange. Maybe, as bad movies go, this flew below the popular radar.

MST3K Mac and Me is on Youtube

 

The revived "Mystery Science Theater 3000" did "Mac and Me" a while back and if you haven't seen the newish season or are a fan of "Mac and Me" - or maybe you're into watching kids in wheelchairs fall off a cliff, you sicko - this is your chance: the episode is free on Youtube.

Best of the Worst - Christmas or Chance

Buckle up, this year's Best of the Worst Christmas episode is nearly 2 hours long. But it's worth it, I think.

New Neil Breen Trailer - Dire Duplicity

The trailer for Neil Breen's new film "Dire Duplicity."

I'm not sure but it seems, in this film, Neil Breen is playing Fantasy Neil Breen - the world's greatest secret agent, soldier, hacker, computer scientist, terrorist.

Best of the Worst - Star Slammer, Talos, and The Apple

RedLetterMedia's "Best of the Worst" Episode 141.

I won't spoil it but the ambition and execution of what they do at the end is what elevates this episode above the average.

Best of the Worst - Plinketto #12

The boys watch 3 movies based on the randomization of a not-so-legally-distinct Plinko board.

Of interest to me, and perhaps to you, they watch "The Peanut Butter Solution" which I covered myself here. It's fun to see that our thoughts mesh well. Of particular note: we both compare "The Peanut Butter Solution" to "Rosemary's Baby," which is wildly specific.

Best of the Worst: Terror Squad, Back from Hell, and Traxx

A really solid "Best of the Worst" where they discover "Traxx" - perhaps an all-timer.

10 Hours of Geteven Doing the Shimmy Slide

Woo! Let's do it again!

BOTW - Cade: The Tortured Crossing

 

Speaking of bad movies, Neil Breen has a new one. Well, not "new" but RLM spaces these things out a bit.

If an hour and twenty minutes is too long for you, you can skip to 45 minutes to get the short recap.

But if you do have the time to watch the full episode, then if you've come this far perhaps you can come a little farther. Read the description on the youtube page.

Film Flam - Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

Dylan 'Bruiser' King's cameo, it seems, is all too brief.

Film Flam - Spider in the Attic

Another classic from Jagged Edge Productions.

Film Flam - Humble Abose?

 

Abose.

Tommy Wiseau's Got a New One

 The new trailer for Tommy Wiseau's new movie "Big Shark":

Do you see how it stops being a trailer mid-way through? And the official website doesn't work. And sometimes it does work and just goes to Tommy's store. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Meanwhile, someone on Reddit says that Greg Sestero said the trailer is just a joke trailer with no real movie incoming. But so far, the rest of the internet is taking it seriously. We shall see.

Film Flam - Croc!

 

It's not safe to wedding anywhere.

Best of the Worst: New Releases!

 

This episode is notable as, according to Jay's Twitter, it contains the second-worst movie he's ever seen. Further, the panel all agrees it's the worst movie they've ever watched on the show (but that's not so unusual).

Plus: Rich Evans has a new catchphrase.

The Best of Bad Acting

 A nice overview of bad movie acting.

Mike and Rich Play Super VHS: The RLM Video Game

 

The title says it all.

Film Flam - Watching Earthquake (1974)

 

Remember: Universal has given "Earthquake" its MAXIMUM EFFORT.

RLM Discusses the Munsters Trailer