The Late Show Traditions

The official David Letterman channel has released a compilation of the various Late Show Christmas traditions in one handy video. Watch it and pretend it's a new episode, I guess. Darlene Love is omitted but there's a separate compilation just for that.

Today's Mood in Gif Form

 

Remembering Time Life Music Collections

 

Remember Time Life compilations? These were collections of music (120 unforgettable hits!), around some theme or genre, which came on (about) 10 CDs - or cassettes - or records. A long playlist of music isn't so special but specifically, here, I'm looking at the infomercials for the collections.

I've watched a few and the one above is my favorite. It overlaps the Yacht Rock genre pretty well and I love those laid back 70's vibes (70's and 80's).

My favorite aspect about them revolves around the live "presenters" they always have to have. All the clips of each song are like 5 seconds long but some of them get introduced by the hosts as if it's a radio DJ scenario. When you intro a specific song and then the clip of the song is over after 5 seconds it's like... that was so pointless.

A few other highlights:

The "Best of Soft Rock" (above) apparently comes from that specific time when music existed on the internet but not streaming. Part of their pitch is: buy the collection because, what are you going to do, download all these songs and burn them to CD yourself? Don't be crazy!

In "Summer Breeze" they seem to be taking advantage of the Yacht Rock resurgence. Apparently these are still going as of 2022 when music streaming is extremely available.

The one for "80's Music Explosion" features Belinda Carlisle as one of the "presenters" and her acting is a wonder of alien roboticness.

A few stray thoughts:

Do you think these could be a hit with the tiktok generation? If the song changes every 10 seconds, are you in that sweet-spot where they don't get bored? Is this the future of music?

These are great background entertainment for doing work, I find.

Jan Terri - Excuse My Christmas

This is the hit single. When this is the top of the charts and everyone's feeling the glow of Christmas warmth, you remember that you heard it hear first.

Popcorn in Bed - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Another classic.

Growing up, we never had advent calendars. I remember my friend had one in 1st or 2nd grade but that was it. Whenever I would watch this movie, the thing that would fill me with Christmas awe and wonder was the advent calendar. As the date of the calendar increases, childlike joy and excitement build inexorably.

It's good... it's good... it's good.

Understanding a Joke 25 Years Later

I first saw "So I Married an Axe Murderer" probably in 1997 and have been thinking about it ever since. But there's a joke in there that I didn't understand until this very day.

In the famous "Wo-man, whoah man" beat poem, Myers jokes that he's so unlucky with women that he's become obsessed with cartoon women. He references a series of cartoons and then ends with "Hey Jane, get me off this crazy thing... called love."

Who's Jane? I seriously didn't know and kind of assumed it was someone in the coffee house, perhaps the manager. How embarrassing. 

It was today that I realized he's referring Jane Jetson which I should have known because I used to watch "The Jetsons" regularly.

To be fair, he got the quote wrong, it's actually, "Jane, stop this crazy thing!" but that's no excuse for me. Shame. Shame.

What are Sugar Plums?

It's Christmas time, basically, so naturally I've been wondering what sugar plums are and how to get hold of some. If you do a search on amazon you'll get sugar coated plums for sale, which are not the same thing at all. Then talking to a friend, he sent me a recipe but wikipedia warns:

"Another 21st-century take on the sugar plum instructs home cooks to combine dried fruits and almonds with honey and aromatic seeds (anise, fennel, caraway, cardamom), form this mixture into balls, then coat in sugar or shredded coconut.[8]"

... which is what the recipe was. I'm not looking for the 21st-century anything.

So this video explains what they are and how to make them and I guess I won't be trying sugar plums.

Except.

They mention jordan almonds are technically sugar plums and he also refers to some brand of coated pine nuts as being sugar plums; but he doesn't mention or link to whatever he's specifically talking about. Jordan almonds that fit the criteria are all over amazon, so that's obtainable. Pine nuts are trickier. With some work, I was able to track down the pine nuts he's referring to as being "1880 Candy Coated Pine Nuts." They appear to be obtainable but not from any place convenient to me. To be continued perhaps.

Popcorn in Bed - Uncle Buck

"Uncle Bucke?" Aw, heck yeah!

A John Hughes/John Candy classic.

The Name of the Song is the Name of the Artist is the Name of the Channel

It's been 3 years since I premiered "Moscow" and now Youtube has progressed to the above. Workin' the algorithm, I suppose.

Creed - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Late Night - Looking Back at Bob Dylan's Performance

 Dave recalls Bob Dylan coming on the show to perform "Like a Rolling Stone."

And here is the performance itself.

Dave's explanation that maybe Dylan was upset to have such a grand setup doesn't make sense to me but I don't claim to know what Bob Dylan is thinking in any way. My own interpretation is that this is what Bob Dylan usually does.

Checking in on Scorch

All the details of Scorch's PFG-TV are constantly changing and yet everything is always staying the same.

#BringBackHolly

Yacht Rock: A Dockumentary

 

When making a "dockumentary" about Yacht Rock, there are beset on both sides by two ditches - you can embrace the parody webseries origin of the genre (and treat it as a joke) or you can ignore the origins and define the genre as the general public has since defined it (Jimmy Buffett, The Eagles, nautical themes, sailor hats, etc.) "Yacht Rock" veers off into neither ditch. In fact, I was surprised at how serious a music documentary it is. This is "The History of Rock 'n' Roll" for 2024.

And, at the same time, they also give proper weight and deference to the group of guys who invented the term.

Highly recommended if you want to see an excellent music documentary.

One of the through-lines that goes between MST3K and "Best of the Worst" and shows like that they're mocking films but they're often doing so while appreciating any traces of good art, even at the service of really bad movies. It's an admirable trait to still find the good within the bad, especially as it's a trait I don't have, or at least, haven't developed. One of the things that struck me as poignant, reflecting on the re-emergence of the Yacht Rock genre is this idea that there are these dusty records that no one wants because they're old and out of fashion and someone listens to them and points out that there's something great there and we should all re-think our biases. Let's face it, Yacht Rock - and Easy Listening moreso - was playing when I was a kid and going to the dentist or shopping for clothes; I have, even subconsciously, dismissed huge swaths of music. I admire anyone who shakes off preconceived notions, paying no service to form or fashion and examines the thing objectively for what it is.

JFK Revisited: Through the Looking Glass

 

Over the years I've flip-flopped quite a lot in my opinion of Oliver Stone's "JFK." To be more precise I always felt it was a fascinating film, extremely well constructed and haunting, but what I kept questioning was whether it told a true story.

In 2021, with the help of further research and unclassified documents, Stone returned to the same subject to re-assess his previous movie. The new information adds a great deal of clarity, as does the documentary, rather than feature film, format.

It's hard to believe I had not heard of this movie's existence until recently - "JFK" was a box-office and cultural phenomenon. Whether it is a function of Oliver Stone's decline in relevance, a decline in interest in documentaries, my own ignorance or something else, I cannot say. But upon hearing about it, I knew I was interested.

Not wishing to be political in any way, but it is worth noting that President Trump has promised to open up the JFK files when he takes office. That should be very interesting indeed and perhaps another movie will be called for.

Dave Letterman Looks Back at Other Roles

 

Dave is made severely uncomfortable just thinking about his appearances on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and "Mork and Mindy" as well as his audition for "Saturday Night Fever."

Popcorn in Bed - Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Cassie watches "Austin Powers 2" for the first time.

By total coincidence, I re-watched this movie recently. It's a very uneven movie and a lot of it falls flat. The character of Fat Bastard seems like an old relic, the plot isn't even trying to make sense, there's never been anything funny about the coffee/lab scene... 

The musical numbers. When Austin introduces a Burt Bacharach number, it's completely appropriate. But then when Dr. Evil sings "One of Us" I was baffled and wondered how many people today are even aware of that song. Finally you get to Dr. Evil singing "Just the Two of Us" and it's a "jump the shark" level of bonkers. Why are there so many musical interludes?

Still, the good jokes outnumber the bad and so if you look at it as a series of gags - which it is - and you add to it the extreme nostalgia of seeing it during a college summer, it's an enjoyable movie. I have my criticisms but I don't want to go too far.

Best of the Worst Trivia

Mike and Rich compete in a RedLetterMedia gameshow where the questions are all about "Best of the Worst" movies.

I'll be honest, I did not do as well as I would have hoped/expected.

Yacht Rock Dockumentary Trailer

The new trailer for HBO's upcoming "dockumentary" about Yacht Rock. It premieres November 29.

250 Years of Military Rations

Guga tries military rations from the various major wars in America's history.

Happy Veteran's Day.

GG - More Supermarket Simulator

So addictive.

Russell Baker - Growing Up

While in college I was required to take some low-level English class, perhaps called "Essays" or "Non-Fiction," something like that, and there was one particular essay that especially affected me and always stuck in my memory even though, in the years that followed, I forgot both the title and author.

I remembered it was an essay about a grown man having to take care of his mother who was now suffering from dementia. I remembered it had a particularly poetic way of describing her behavior and I recalled that there was a strange irony that no matter how bad her memory got, she could still recite from memory the common rhyme about Guy Fawkes.

With these details, and with my textbooks all in a landfill, I recently tried to re-find this essay and found the task to be extremely difficult. A.I. was especially unhelpful as it would respond with 100% certainty that the essay was "X" by Y even when no such writing exists in the real world.

Nevertheless, through great frustration, I recently found the essay and found that it was not an essay, exactly; the piece I was looking for was an excerpt - it was the first chapter of the book "Growing Up" by Russell Baker.

I want to share with you a portion that so eloquently describes living with dementia:

At the age of eighty my mother had her last bad fall, and after that her mind wandered free through time. Some days she went to weddings and funerals that had taken place half a century earlier. On others she presided over family dinners cooked on Sunday afternoons for children who were now gray with age. Through all this she lay in bed but moved across time, traveling among the dead decades with a speed and ease beyond the gift of physical science.

And:

For ten years or more the ferocity with which she had once attacked life had been turning to a rage against the weakness, the boredom, and the absence of love that too much age had brought her. Now, after the last bad fall, she seemed to have broken the chains that imprisoned her in a life she had come to hate and to return to a time inhabited by people who loved her, a time in which she was needed. Gradually I understood. I was the first time in years I had seen her happy.

And the part about Guy Fawkes:

So it went until a doctor came by to give one of those oral quizzes that medical men apply in such cases. She failed catastrophically, giving wrong answers or none at all to "What day is this?" "Do you know where you are?" "How old are you?" and so on. Then, a surprise.

"When is your birthday?" he asked.

"November 5, 1897," she said. Correct. Absolutely correct.

"How do you remember that?" the doctor asked.

"Because I was born on Guy Fawkes Day," she said.

"Guy Fawkes?" asked the doctor. "Who is Guy Fawkes?"

She replied with a rhyme I had heard her recite time and again over the years when the subject of her birth date arose:

"Please to remember the Fifth of November,

Gunpowder treason and plot.

I see no reason why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot."

Then she glared at this young doctor so ill informed about Guy Fawkes' failed scheme to blow King James off his throne with barrels of gunpowder in 1605. She had been a schoolteacher, after all, and knew how to glare at a dolt. "You may know a lot about medicine, but you obviously don't know any history," she said. Having told him exactly what was on her mind, she left us again.

So "Growing Up" is available on Amazon and the entire first chapter is offered as a free sample. I know absolutely nothing about or have any connection to Russell Baker but may add this book to my reading list. Happy Guy Fawkes Day.

What Was the Deal with Dukes of Hazzard?

 

This might be a question for a non-existent audience - people that remember "Dukes of Hazzard" probably know the deal, and most of the kids today probably have never heard of the show and don't care. But in case this is a public service to at least 1 or 2 people in the world... Let's answer the question, "What was the deal with "Dukes of Hazzard?""

The enigma that needs solving goes like this:

"Dukes of Hazzard" was about outlaws trying to escape the police. But they had a home and the police knew where they lived. So... how? How is this not a contradiction and how does it continue week after week?

This was bothering me for a while so I watched the first few episodes and, while not a thorough exploration, I think I get the picture enough to satisfy the question.

Let's go episode by episode.

Episode 1. In episode 1, we get the backstory: the Duke Family are moonshiners, they were arrested and let out on probation on the condition that they never again run moonshine. In this episode they steal a shipment of slot machines and resell them around town. Daisy Duke is arrested but escapes jail. Through a scheme of chicanery, by the end of the episode, the Dukes are completely let off the hook.

Episode 2. Episode 2 is not relevant to the topic except they do blow up a cop car with no repercussions.

Episode 3. The Duke boys (accidentally) run moonshine and get away from the police. There is no acknowledgement that the police have positively identified them and their license plate, the fact that the car outran the other car means there can be no legal action, apparently.

Episode 4. The Duke Boys buy a car, flee the police, bust through a barn (property damage) and are arrested for supposedly stealing the car they bought. Though being accused of a crime they didn't commit, they still resisted arrest and damaged property. Then things get much more complicated and the end doesn't make sense.

Episode 5. Skipping this one.

Episode 6. The Dukes get caught running guns but they run from the arrest and ditch the truck in a lake. In the end, they can't be charged because there's no evidence... Except for the guns in the truck in the lake... but out of sight, out of mind??? 

Conclusion:

So I think I've seen enough to understand the idea of the show. The Dukes are constantly on thin ice with the law and the reason they can simultaneously be outlaws and have a steady residence is that by the end of each episode they've gotten away with it somehow. The show can be fairly summarized by the phrase "They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin' and tryna catch me ridin' dirty."

The show is somewhat reminiscent of "Hogan's Heroes" in the way the plot usually revolves around getting a job done while evading the authorities. Except that "Hogan's Heroes" is a smart show and "Dukes of Hazzard" is quite dumb. Don't get me wrong, the show has a lot of charm and I still have great nostalgia for the car, the sweet car chases and the sweet car jumps (yes, those 3 things deserve to be listed individually) but there's no getting around the fact that it's not a show that ever engages the mind. And to the extent that you do engage your mind, it will probably hurt.

WATP - Stuttering John in Detroit

 

WATP does a live show in Detroit and shows disgusting clips of Stuttering John. Same old, same old.

St. Crispin's Day Is Today

 

Once again, celebrating The Feast of St. Crispin, this time in the Year of Our Lord 2024. Last year I considered celebrating the Feast aspect. Not sure. Perhaps a Succulent Chinese Meal is in order. Probably not.

Now, soldiers, march away: And how thou pleasest, God, dispose the day.

The Night Before (1988)

 

Did you know there's an 80's romantic comedy with Aunt Becky and Keanu Reeves as the two leads? This was news to me.

In "The Night Before," a guy (Reeves) wakes up on the street in the bad part of town, with no memory of what's just happened. He seems to be disheveled, though wearing a tuxedo, and has no money and no car. How did he get here? Steadily, memories of the night's events come back to him. He's supposed to be at the prom with a date (Aunt Becky) who doesn't like him, she's dating him because she lost a bet. He recalls that he and his date took a series of wrong turns which lead them both to the ghetto where their innocence gets them into increasingly more trouble.

This is one of those comedies where things go from bad to worse, to even worse, up until the end where things magically end happily. This is "After Hours" meets "Judgment Night" meets "The Hangover." It's not bad but not my cup of tea. The main high point of the movie is that Keanu is still in his "Ted 'Theodore' Logan" phase of acting, which is just the best.

The Comedy Stylings of Jerry Banfield

WATP laughs along with Stand-up Comedian Jerry Banfield's  stand-up comedy. And it's about hurricanes... because disaster.

Top 10 Best Tasting Tomatoes According To 360,000 Viewers

Are you really into tomatoes? Of course you are! That's why Midwest Gardener is here to shoot tomato recommendations straight to into your face! EXTREEEMMMEEE!

I only heard about this video from Game Grumps. You can hear them joking about it here.

The Last Episode of American Chopper is a Meditation on Life and Man

 This post will contain spoilers for "American Chopper - The Last Ride."

There have been a few "last" episodes of "American Chopper" but I just watched one that is currently, and may turn out to be, the last last episode. According to the calendar on the wall, the previous last episode was 5 years ago but it feels like a different age. Coming back to the series, a little older, a little wiser (hopefully), it starts out screaming as pure fakery.

"Pure fakery" is a bit strong perhaps. But it seems like a show in the "Curb" or "Spinal Tap" model where the scenes and situations are written but dialogue of each scene is improvised. When they were doing a series, you could imagine that cameras come into the shop 9 to 5 and, like security cameras picking up a bank robbery, are naturally there to capture a reality that includes moments of particular interest. Now, with a one-off special episode, it's clear that this is all made up. It seems that way. It must be that the only way cameras "happen" to be there to capture important moments is because it was all planned.

The situation of the episode is this: Paul Sr. and Paul Jr. have previously ruined their familial relationship because they were so combative in their professional relationship; now they want to get back in the old shop and see if they can build a bike together - they'll remember the good times and perhaps make amends and heal the damage done. Sr. agrees and, good news, he has a client lined up, a large construction company, looking to buy a bike themed around their corporate identity. Do you remember the old days when you were a kid and you'd get together with your dad and go into the garage and fulfill a corporate contract? Gee, this all sounds very reality-based. Perhaps I've overrated this series via my own nostalgia.

But then things take a twist.

Having agreed to build a bike together, Jr. finds that his father has already finalized the design and doesn't want to hear any suggestions. Jr. argues that it is pointless to work on a project "together" if the design is not a team effort. Suddenly, strangely, they are going back down the same road they've always gone down - increasingly heated discussions that one hopes are not leading to a fight. Suddenly there is real tension with real humans in real life. Sure, the situation may be setup, the location may be a plan but the people are real and the fear is real. For better or worse, they've instantly come back to what made the show great... and their lives miserable. This heat rises and culminates in a scene in which they each plead their case to the customer, essentially seeking a third-party ruling. They're airing their dirty laundry in public, and in a business meeting, but the mania of their urge to "win" is such that they can't stop. This is why the show was great, this scene is so intense and uncomfortable it eclipses anything on "The Office."

But, ok, the show was these two knuckleheads screaming at each other. But this is where things get interesting.

With Sr. still adamant that the basic design is final, Jr. relents. When Sr. decides that Jr. can't even make suggestions, Jr. accepts it. When Sr. goes behind Jr.'s back and redoes the small contributions that Jr. has made, Jr. doesn't mention it. The "father and son" build leads to Jr. working with Sr.'s underlings while Sr. attends to other matters - the show doesn't say what he's doing. Then, when Sr. finally shows up to "work" on the bike, Jr. greets him with a smile. The theme of the series was always two stubborn people butting heads over and over. not learning or changing, and growing further and further apart. After 20 years of this, now that the dad is 70 years old and the son nearly 50, someone has actually learned something... at least one person has progressed.

As the show and the series ends, we're served up the usual "happy ending" that's pure cognitive dissonance against the underlying reality. For the millionth time, there is the bike "unveil" - the customer is impressed by the soulless cookie-cutter bike in a style from 60 years ago. The audience has been robbed of seeing just one more crazy, unique OCC bike design. And a father has finally succeeded in stifling all of his son's creativity and individuality - finally getting the just-another-worker-in-the-shop drone that he's wanted for the entire run of the show. The contest is finally over and "villain" has won - and an entire room of people is applauding him for it. Says Junior, "The most important thing is: we got to spend time together... Any time that my father was focused on working on the bike... those were the moments that I walked away feeling like a million bucks about. That was it... It was the little things that... meant the most to me." 

Junior has found the truth in all the cliches - life is short, you only get one father, make amends, let go of self. After so many lost years, he's living out the principle that "love does not insist on its own way." Is this a happy ending? A few more cliches: the damage is done, they're not getting those years back. Is it a "happy ending" when among two grown men, only one of them has changed, has learned anything, and even that one thing took several decades of strife? Consider the nature of man and the world around you and decide for yourself whether any better ending is probable... or possible. That's what separates reality TV from real life.

Rob Lowe in Austin Powers (The First One)

 Was watching "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" (the second in the series, in case you forget) and noted this imdb trivia:

Rob Lowe (Young Number Two) and Michael McDonald (N.A.T.O. Soldier) appeared uncredited in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) as different characters from this movie. Lowe appeared in the scene where a group of friends waiting at a henchman's bachelor party hear of his death. A similar scene showed McDonald's family being informed of his death.

In case it's not clear, they're saying it's strange that Rob Lowe has a part in Austin Powers 2 because he already played a different role in Austin Powers 1. The only problem is, I know the movie pretty well and I was pretty sure that scene doesn't exist.

The answer to the riddle is that it does exist, in the international version, not in the American version. It was deleted for time, or so I've read. If you're like me and never heard of this scene in your life, here it is:

And here is the scene it would have followed. RIP John Smith, his death was a heady moment.

And here is the second deleted scene connected with the second repeat actor, also cut for time from the version we all saw:

Late Night - Dana Carvey

Dana Carvey is one of the few surefire talk show guests. This was released today apropos of nothing, as far as I know... wait a minute, did Dana Carvey die? No, Dana is still alive. Phew.

Pineapple Lumps

 

Pineapple Lumps are a snack/candy from New Zealand. They're pineapple-flavored marshmallow(?) covered with a thin layer of chocolate.

As far as snacks-of-the-world go, they're pretty good and they may be the only snack I've tried native to New Zealand.

So all of that is all well and good. But here's the twist part...

It turns out that when you mix pineapple, marshmallow and chocolate it tastes like bubble gum. I would never have guessed it in a million years and it makes no sense to me, but it is absolutely true. Weird, right?

Guy Beats Tetris

Did you ever see someone beat Tetris? Well apparently not because this video claims to be the world first. "Beating Tetris" means here that you get to Level 255 and move to the next level and it goes back to Level 0. They're calling this a "Rebirth" which seems confusing to me, but whatever.

A few notes of no interest to anyone... The highest digit of the Lines Count goes 0-9 and then A-Z and then hyphen, comma, apostrophe, right arrow, exclamation point, question mark and left parentheses. The highest digit of the Score goes 0-9 and then A-F (hexadecimal) and then back to 0. The Level, as said, goes to 255 to 0. That's 3 different "numbering systems" on one screen.

I can't understand this video. My mind cannot process this quickly. And he even seems to be monitoring the chat and responding in real-time. Crazy. Just crazy.

Solo in Rural Pennsylvania

A bit of a word of warning: this is not going to be everyone's cup of tea. It's a guy with a camera going around central Pennsylvania, eating, filming the scenery and talking to the locals. It's not for everyone but I love it. 

This is something I would love to do, if I could. I admire this guy's ability to do it. It's an amazing idea that you can just pick someone out at random, interview them and get something interesting. But not just getting something of interest, it's amazing how people chosen at random can all be so likeable.

I even had a life goal to visit Centralia but it looks like I missed my chance, in a way. Centralia has really gone downhill.

BrutalMoose - More Mystery Tapes

Larry Appleton sighting at 36:10.

By the way, I was in the era to experience both the Sunkist vitamins and the kids' toothpaste. They were both awesome. I used to want to eat the vitamins like candy and then I'd wonder if that meant I was addicted to drugs.

Actors Who Got Their Start on Little House on the Prairie

"Little House on the Prairie" was about children about as much as it was about adults. The only problem was that, throughout the 9 seasons, the children just kept growing up, creating a constant demand for even more children. And so the children came out of the woodwork - children born, children adopted, children picked up off the street, orphaned children whose parents die, and so forth. In addition, there were children who were new to town or had been in town for a long time but we're just now seeing them for the first time, somehow, and will never see them again, somehow.

Here are some of the actors who got their start on "Little House..."

Jason Bateman

Jason Bateman shows up in S07E21. His parents die in a wagon crash and he's adopted by Charles Ingalls, thereby making Jason a cast member for a few years. "Little House" was his first role.

Shannen Doherty

In S09E01 Shannen Doherty shows up as Jenny Wilder. Her father dies and she is left with her Aunt and Uncle, becoming a cast member for the next 2 seasons.

Peter Billingsly

Peter Billingsly arrives in S08E12 as a kid with a stutter who has trouble making friends. This is about a year before "A Christmas Story."

Sean Penn 

Sean Penn shows up in "The Voice of Tinker Jones" (S01E11 or S01E12 depending on the source) as just a random kid in the background. He was included in the show because his father directed the episode.

Robert Loggia

Robert Loggia.

And finally, not a child actor like the others, but I should include this somewhere... Jonathan Banks, who played Mike Ehrmantraut on "Breaking Bad," shows up in S06E16 as an outlaw.

Paul Jr. Has a Podcast

Continuing to pretend that the sudden re-emergence of "American Chopper" is real and organic, it turns out that Paul Jr. has a podcast now.

Above is the third episode where he talks about recently watching the episodes and finding that so much time has past that he feels more like a viewer than a participant. He also says he's working on getting a new show but it's early stages.

So he has a podcast and a youtube channel, Paul Sr. has (at least) a youtube channel, it looks like Mikey has a podcast, Vinnie has a youtube channel... does Rick have a podcast? - no, I think he was a guest on Paul Sr.'s podcast... Basically it's 2024 and everyone in the world is on youtube with a podcast. There isn't enough time in the world to keep up with it.... except I'll probably keep up with Paul Jr.'s channel because I have the American Chopper brain damage and this is how bad it is.

Andy Richter in The Real Live Brady Bunch

Apparently there was a live show in 1991 where actors would re-enact episodes of "The Brady Bunch" and the cast included Andy Richter as Mike (the dad). Other cast members included Jane Lynch and Melanie Hutsell (who would go on to parody the same part on SNL.) Becky Thyre as Marcia is spot-on.

Quite a time capsule. Man, I wish I enjoyed anything as much as this audience loves this show. Does this support my theory that people in the past were much more joyous? My instincts tell me this is just an aberration.

You can watch a behind-the-scenes "making of" look at the show here.

Thoughts on the Little House on the Prairie Series Finale

The following post contains spoilers for a 40 year old tv show.

The stories I heard about "Little House on the Prairie" ending with a BONKERS finale were true.

After the end of the TV series, 3 made-for-tv movies were made, as an unofficial "Season 10." The first of these movies features a teenager contracting a terminal illness and dying. The third of these movies, the last one to air, is about a woman who loses a child during birth, goes crazy and kidnaps another child to substitute as her own. It should be noted that this is a Christmas episode. And even though it takes place in Minnesota, at Christmastime, the weather is sunny and hot and all the leaves are green... it looks suspiciously like California. Ho ho hoooo.

The second movie, "Little House: The Last Farewell," was the last filmed and the last chronologically within the world of the show, so it is, for all intents and purposes, the series finale.

As the story begins, it's discovered that a land development tycoon owns all the land of Walnut Grove, the little town around which the entire series has taken place. Yes, all the years in which we've seen them buying and selling deeds, farming the land, building upon their land, leaving deeds in their wills as they contract terminal illnesses... it was all somehow in error, none of it was legitimate. There was even that one episode (S09E09) where a large train company wanted to take the land to build a railroad and they had a conflict with the residents over who can use the land... No, no, forget all that, those lawyers didn't look at THE REAL records, someone else owned the town all along, it's just that nobody was noticing the real, real, real.

So upon that insane rock is built a story in which the rich real-estate tycoon tries to take possession of the land from the everyday townsfolk who've built their lives there. They're not going to give up without a fight. They gather guns, band together and refuse to leave. It's at this point of the story where it is most effective - though somewhat out of character, the show has become a fairly convincing Western and there is real tension.

The rich railroad tycoon enlists the help of the government (the Union army) and there is a tense standoff. The people of the town do the moral calculus and stand down.

Finally, resolved to abandon their homes and livelihoods - their entire lives, really - they decide that the railroad company may take the land but they will not give up the buildings. They dynamite the town and blow it up.

The town preacher gives a eulogy for the buildings of the town as tears flow from his face. And as each citizen, in turn, takes the plunger detonator to blow up their own structure, they all cry and react as if watching a massacre. It is insanely executed. It is such incredible schlock.

It's hard to convey what a complete non-sequitur this finale to the series is. In case you're not aware of "Little House on the Prairie," this show is about (was about) a family trying to survive on the frontier, trying to do what's right in a harsh world and bring their children up to have that same moral backbone. The morals of the show were hard work, determination, honesty, respect, forgiveness, courage and especially community. And the ultimate end of all this... blow up the community. Nine seasons of the family show were just building up to pyrotechnics. Do you want heartfelt emotions or do you want to see some 'splosions?!

At a loss for words, I'm also at a loss for how to conclude this. I don't understand and have not seen anything to help me understand. Yes, the show arguably jumped the shark a while back but nothing has ever prepared anyone for anything like this. 

The idea of the town banding together to fight the powerful, combined with the rigging (and setting off) of the explosives, feels somewhat like an "A-Team" plot. This movie aired in 1984 and "The A-Team" had become a big hit in 1983. Is it possible that some dopey corporate executive saw the sagging ratings of "Little House" against the massive ratings of "The A-Team" and said, "I know what will draw in the viewers... Here's what the people of the 80s want to see..."? I have no proof or evidence that anything like that happened but it's the only thing I can think of to make sense of what I just watched.

Fixing an American Chopper (Continued)

The guy who bought an American Chopper bike and is trying to fix it up, meets and hangs out with Paul Sr.  

I think I've fallen into a soap opera. I started watching a video, and that video led to another video, then it became a series and now it's spinning off a new series... It's too much! It's still enjoyable but I may have to cut these off at some point. But I don't know, I do still have American Chopper brain-rot, after all.

Popcorn in Bed - Star Trek TNG Series Finale

 

Cassie has reached the end of her goal to watch the most important "Star Trek: The Next Generation" episodes. In this episode, she watches the series finale.

She's certainly going to go on to the TNG movies but we know how that goes...

Thoughts on Little House on the Prairie

In various conversations among people, and on this blog, I had mused that "Little House on the Prairie" was a very popular show but I somehow had never watched it. Finally, repeating this same thought before my family, I suddenly heard my older sister exclaim, "'Little House on the Prairie' was SOOOO DEPRESSING!" Instantly, in just that moment, I time-traveled 30, maybe 40, years into the past to when I first heard that same phrase ringing in my ears, said in the exact same way by the exact same person. It was suddenly clear why I had no history with this show. My sister had seen it, had formed a very decidedly negative opinion of the show and then had wielded much more power over the TV.

Another mystery solved.

Now, back in our own time, having watched the entire run of the series, I consider it to be one of the great TV shows of all-time. But even as I enjoyed the show very much, I had to contend with the thought, all throughout, that, "Well, my sister wasn't exactly wrong." The two things can be true at the same time. "Little House" was a "family drama" and how does one generate drama week-in and week-out for years? There is only one way: create likable characters and then hurl an unceasing barrage of tragedies at them until their lives are a Hellish nightmarescape.

The "family" template is best illustrated by a thumbnail sketch of "Family Ties." "Family Ties" was something of a sitcom but generally you'd watch an episode and it would be, for instance, Uncle Bob is visiting from out of town and he announces he has terminal cancer. That's one week. But then the next episode, they're visited by Uncle Ned but it is revealed that Uncle Ned is hiding the secret that he has become an alcoholic. We're up to episode 3 now and in this episode, they'd throw a curve-ball - in this episode, a black family moves into the neighborhood and suddenly the suburban Ohio town of the 1980s turns into a Deep South KKK stronghold because, it turns out, racism is everywhere.

"Little House" is a lot like that but without all the laughs.

Early on, there are two main themes of the show: the man-versus-nature struggle (the harshness of living on the frontier) and the cruelty of children towards their fellow children. The former is one of my favorite aspects of the show and, as a plot device, it's abandoned pretty early on. The latter continues throughout and it's nuts. I mean, these children are monsters to each other - I would say they're demon children but that's being too kind. Words fail me to describe it, I can only say it's hard to watch.

As for the rest of the episodes, every pregnancy is a potential complication, every baby is going to get sick, every building is in danger of burning down, every dear friend can die, every loved one presents a potential for irredeemable grief and don't forget - never forget - that sometimes children with bright futures can suddenly contract an illness that brings on permanent blindness...  The onset of blindness will be slow, of course, but it will be sure and it will be permanent. Yes, it's a "delightful Bambi romp through a flowery fairy land of happy, harmless, froufrou family fun for the whole family of all ages."

To that point, an imdb trivia note from S01E18 is illustrative:

Matt Clark appears in this episode as "Eric Boulton", a man whose wife and son die after contracting Typhus after eating rat-infected cornmeal. He would return in Season Five's "Mortal Mission" as a character whose family die from Anthrax infected meat.

That actor just can't catch a break.

That said, I will defend the show's position in the Pantheon of Television with 3 semi-counter-points. 

1. It is a family drama and this is the core of drama. You know this is what you're getting into (like I said about "Family Ties" above.) 
2. It rarely feels forced. The hardships may seem a little overwrought in that 70s style, but they're rarely gratuitous - the quality of the writing is so high, it mostly earns its awful extremity.
3. The show seeks to depict not just frontier America but actual people who lived on the frontier. These were hard times and certain tragic events did happen to these real people. Another imdb trivia note from S08E18 is illustrative here:

The real Almanzo and Laura Wilder contracted diphtheria in 1888; then in August 1889, Laura gave birth to a son who died two weeks later, and in the same month they lost their house to a fire and their crops to drought. These circumstances, along with Almanzo's inability to do physical work, led the Wilder's into debt and poverty.

So that's fun. "Hey kids, what do you want to watch tonight?!"

I've covered the quality of the show in general terms - generally it's excellent - but there is a great variance in quality across the hundreds of episodes, spread across 9 seasons. There are weaknesses, aspects I hate, episodes I loathe and it is arguable that the show jumps the shark at a point. Along with the great episodes destined for the TV Hall of Fame, there are certainly terrible episodes also. My complaints and criticisms of this series could be an entire post of their own but I'll spare you that. Suffice it to say that the series has high highs and low lows but, for any given season, the ratio of excellent episodes to bad episodes never goes below 2:1. That is, until Season 9 when the series settles into a heat death of mediocrity; Season 9 is just unremarkable, tired and pointless.

There's just one loose end left. My biggest reason for pursuing the series was how impressed I was by the amazing pilot episode/movie. But, following that, I was spurred on by the rumor that the show ends with one of the most bizarre finales in any television show ever. The last episode of the series, true to the 9th season, is not bizarre or unusual in any way. But I have not been rugpulled yet. For there have been 3 "Little House" made-for-tv movies made after the series ended and I will be watching those next. We shall see...

Fixing an American Chopper (Continued)

 This is a continuation of a previous post where a guy is trying to get an OCC Bike in working order.

I'll give a heads-up, I don't like this video, I think it's pretty lame but we have a series going and I don't want to drop the ball for anyone interested.

This kind of back-and-forth reaction debate doesn't work here. You don't use the term "straw man argument" in a garage. Paul Sr. did not get to where he is by listening to what people say and considering it with an open mind. Paul Sr. does two things: he gets offended and yells at people - that's it.

Oh well. I trust the next episode will be better.

Is This the Most Boring Video Ever Made?

This person has a Microsoft Word tutorial from 1989. They have a has niche interest to a few people. It's an oddity that might attract some curious viewers. But I have to admire that they've had the brainwave to call it "THE MOST BORING VIDEO EVER MADE (Microsoft Word tutorial, 1989)."

Immediately they have a potential viral hit.

Of course, everyone can decide for themselves and if you're having trouble sleeping, this might be a good attempt at a cure. But I've been around for a while and seen a few boring videos in my day and I'm not convinced. In particular, this arouses my "I'm a kid and I want a computer" nostalgia, so in that way it's actually exciting.

This is not the most boring video in the world, this is a blog post. I don't remember the most boring video in the world, no, but this is a blog post.

Youtube Genre: Falling Rocks

This youtube video, entitled "Cobblestones unloading relaxing and healing." is my exemplar for this genre.

It is no doubt relaxing but is it also healing?

There are loads of these. The genre could be called "Falling Rocks," "Falling Stones," "Sifting Sands" or maybe something like "Unloading Stones from Barge." None of these is really a homerun. Maybe "Conveyor Belt Unloading" is another possibility but the weakness of that one is that the conveyor belt isn't the star of the show, it's the rocks.

It also seems that they mostly come from China and there's a lot of re-posting/stealing content. It ticks the "Oddly Satisfying" box and I don't know of any others - other than that you should watch it on mute while listening to something else.  I find it mesmerizing.

Catching Up with Tom Myers

 Tom Myers took a break for the Summer and is back with a backlog of terrible, old jokes.

The other day someone mentioned that they asked AI something and then were too afraid to ask a further follow-up. I kind of understand that. I'm curious what AI Tom Myers would do but I'm also fearful to see what it's capable of. Whether or not the world is ready, I'm not ready. 

Popcorn in Bed - No Country for Old Men

 

I've never really penetrated what the Coen Brothers are trying to say with "No Country for Old Men." I have a general guess but that's it. Even so, it is a masterpiece in the aspect of creating tension and dread.

3 Songs for the Summer to Fall Transition

 I don't know what the weather is like where you are, and it's a fragile thing, but over here it's solidly in that hazy transition between Summer and Fall. Here are 3 songs that are comfortable at this time. Gotta stock up on apple cider.

Fazerdaze - Little Uneasy

Haerts - All the Days

 

Radiohead - Gagging Order

 

Jonathan Frakes Has Questions for You

 

And he expects you to answer them immediately.

100 Years of Pasta

  

I don't know if other people will enjoy 25 minutes of pasta or if it's just me. But I'm throwing it out there.

Popcorn in Bed - Invincible

  

I'm appreciative of this reminiscence of "Invincible" - it's not a movie I think of often or one that I've thought of recently, but it is a good one.

Game Grumps Joke Songs #4

 

Another collection of songs made from Game Grumps moments. This one is Dad-heavy.

Schnigedy Ding Dong.

GG - More Supermarket Simulator

 

Another great episode of a great series.

Dabbleverse 101

  

A guy tries to explain the Dabbleverse to a couple normal people... An intro to the Dabbleverse.

The documentary mentioned.

September Morn

September Morn. We danced until the night became a brand new day. Two lovers playing scenes from some romantic play. September mornings still can make me feel that way.

There's a local radio show that plays this song every morning in September and it's now become part of me.

Am I sharing this song ironically or because I genuinely like it? I honestly don't know. That's the thing about Neil Diamond.

YOU BET YOUR BALLS IT'S NEIL DIAMOND.

Talk Show Hosts Compared to the Conan Standard

There's a lot that I agree with here and there's quite a bit that I disagree with. I get the feeling that he started watching around "Conan" and doesn't know much prior to that. But overall, it's a worthwhile watch.

Super Sprint (NES) Speedrun

This may seem random, perhaps, but I find the movement of the cars around the curves of the track within Super Spring to be oddly satisfying. And since the aesthetic pleasure is directly proportional to the skill of the player, this world record run should be as good as it gets.

I watched this on mute, so if this guy says anything crazy, I didn't know that.

WATP - Steel Toe Misses The Goal

While The Goal may be The Highest Good, it is also a cruel mistress.

John Malkovich Voices Cartoon Santa

John Malkovich voiced Santa in a Christmas Special from 1987. It's as startling as it sounds.

Source.

Junior Parker - Tomorrow Never Knows

While driving around, a cover of "Tomorrow Never Knows" came on the radio. Not only had I never heard a cover of "Tomorrow Never Knows" before, the very idea that one might exist had never occurred to me - covering TNK just seemed like an impossibility.

To my surprise at learning that such a cover exists, was soon added the surprise that the radio station would play a second one... and then a third.

Three covers of the same song in a row? They were evidently doing some "Olympic" thing where they played "Bronze" then "Silver" then "Gold." The first two were not great, but "Gold" was gold.

The cover worth listening to is by Junior Parker, it's from 1971 and has only 15K views on youtube.

 

This cover reminds me a bit of "Flying" another Beatles song (another Beatles song that I wouldn't expect anyone to cover) so it all comes full circle.

Indian Mr. T Communes with Nature #4

 

Take another moment to slow down, get back to nature and visit with Indian Mr. T as he enjoys and commands the animals. 

This episode (Episode #4) is the final episode. In previous episodes there was something about a bear and a child and in this episode, there's... someone was frightened and someone has natural power.... I'm lost. I have no idea what's going on.

Game Grumps - Bibi and Tina New Adventures with Horses

 

There's something about Game Grumps and horse-riding games.

Indian Mr. T Communes with Nature #3

 

Take another moment to slow down, get back to nature and visit with Indian Mr. T as he enjoys and commands the animals. 

In this episode Indian Mr. T says something about children and animals and evil. To be honest, I'm having trouble following.

Indian Mr. T Communes with Nature #2

 

Take another moment to slow down, get back to nature and visit with Indian Mr. T as he enjoys and commands the animals. 

In this episode Indian Mr. T asks a question to a squirrel... about a bear.... and hopes.

Go forth in peace, friend.

Indian Mr. T Communes with Nature #1

 

Life is hectic and stressful. Take some time to slow down, get back to nature and visit with Indian Mr. T as he enjoys and commands the animals. Be at peace, friend.

Campbell's Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup

 

"LIMITED EDITION"

Oh, so exclusive.

Who doesn't enjoy dipping a grilled cheese sandwich into a bowl of tomato soup? But who has time to do all that work? Well, now Campbell's has put all that goodness into just one can. What would you expect to pay for this amazing product?

So I got my hands on a few of these and tried one and am here with the results.

Upon my first hearing of this, my first guess was that Campbell's just mixed their cheese soup with their tomato soup. Having tried it, I would say that this is not the case.

I am pleasantly surprised that it does, to some extent, really taste like tomato soup with a hint of cheese flavor. The cheese seemed to me to be American but the ingredients say cheddar and Monterey jack. But whatever the case, it does really seem to have some authenticity to it and isn't just cheese soup.

Bottom line: if you're craving grilled cheese and tomato soup, it's safe to say you really are better off making the real thing, but this isn't bad by any means, not bad at all.

Game Grumps - Supermarket Simulator

 

We're 7 episodes into Supermarket Simulator and, while I haven't posted episodes 1 through 6, they're all about the same and worth noticing.

A really enjoyable series.

Blind Mike Goes for the Goal

 

Blink Mike attempts to reach The Goal, to raise $10K. 

What is the money for?

 It's for him. 

What's the point of The Goal? 

The Goal is its own justification. The Goal is inherently good.

Why is he trying to reach The Goal? 

Because it's there.

Seinfeld Deleted Scenes

 

This is not a "lost episode" and it isn't even an episode at all. But it is a string of deleted scenes from "Seinfeld" all placed together and that's good enough for me.

Game Grumps - The Game of Sisyphus

 

Nothing crazy but a fun little episode of Game Grumps.

Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I just don't have anything to say or share.

WATP - Opie Has Hot Takes

 

A little more anti-comedy, but this time from Opie, of "Opie and Anthony" fame.

Popcorn in Bed - Miracle

 

Is anyone excited about the Olympics? I can't say I am. But "Miracle" is great.

A Song Was Stuck in My Head for Years - I Found It

Two years ago I briefly mentioned that I was looking for a song/melody that I couldn't place:

There is a certain melody played by brass instruments that I remember from the 1980s that I can't place. Last night before going to sleep I added a todo list item "Chicago hits."

It wasn't found in Chicago. I also tried Herb Alpert, it wasn't found there. I thought it might be a TV theme ("Too Close for Comfort" is similar) but no luck. For a few years, from that day until now, I've been trying to find it. Today I found it via a Short of a Baseball clip suggested by Youtube.

The song is Bobby Caldwell - "What You Won't Do for Love"

The part that was in my head was the outro. 

And it's smooth. Is it smooth enough? Should we push our luck and see if it's Yacht Rock? IT'S YACHT ROCK. Nice.

Fixing a Chopper (Continued)

 This is a continuation of a previous post where a guy is trying to get an OCC Bike in working order.

This is very motorcyle-mechanic-heavy. If you're not into that, you can skip it. I get a strange enjoyment from it, probably because I have "American Chopper" brain rot.

RLM - Resurrecting the Salt Vampire

 

Given this thumbnail and that it's 17 minutes long, I couldn't figure what this could mean. RedLetterMedia has acquired an artifact from the original series of "Star Trek."

Does Rad Take Place in Kentucky?

 

Early on in the film, Cru takes a consent form to his mom to allow him to race in Hell Track (really the qualifying race). 

The text is as follows:

HELL TRACK MINOR RELEASE FORM

(PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING BEFORE SIGNING)

In applying to enter any or all of the above mentioned races, I the racer & I/we the parent/guardian, hereby release all the rights and claims which I may have against you arising from conditions related to use of the track or track area or as a result thereof. Each of the undersigned expressly agree that the foregoing release waiver holds harmless and indemnifies National Bicycle League, Schwinn Bicycle Company, Levi Strauss & Co., its directors, owners and possessors of Derby City BMX Association, the Kentucky Department of Parks, and E.P. "Tom" Sawyer State Park.

Parent/Gdn. Signature _____

Date Signed: _____

Rider's Signature: _____

Date Signed: _____

Aside from the most important thing - that St. Louis beat Houston - there are some interesting nuggets here. I never knew that Hell Track was sponsored by Levi Strauss, all the signage in the movie says 7-11 and Chief Auto Parts. 

But then aside from that, why would they have to agree not to sue the Kentucky Department of Parks unless the race is supposed to take place in Kentucky?

Of course we know from the magazine article (and I think other places?), that the film takes place in Oregon. I suppose even within the props department, there was some disagreement. And by the way, E.P. "Tom" Sawyer State Park does exist in Kentucky (Louisville) but no Cochran or Cochrane Kentucky exists (at least on google maps), but there is a Cochran Oregon, of course.

The SATs in Rad

 

Ask anyone on the street what "Rad" is about and you're likely to be hear someone drone on about BMX bike racing and how Bart Taylor is "the man." But, at its core, "Rad" is essentially about the SATs - and specifically about scheduling the SATs.

Early in the movie, when Cru brings a consent form for his mother to sign. She looks at the form (which doesn't have a date on it, more on that later) and says "Isn't that the day you're supposed to make up your SATs?"

Did you ever notice that she says "make up." Doesn't this mean that he already missed them once? Later on in the movie, he's told that the conflict between Hell Track and the SATs could be resolved by simply taking the SATs at a later date and it seems like this is revelatory for him. But if he's rescheduled once, shouldn't it be obvious that he can reschedule again? 

So this is the second time he's putting them off. He's missing the SATs that he already missed.

And why didn't he take them the first time? What, the local yokel was too busy with his paper route? Pfff.