Seinfeld Deleted Scenes

 

This is not a "lost episode" and it isn't even an episode at all. But it is a string of deleted scenes from "Seinfeld" all placed together and that's good enough for me.

Late Show - Dave on Seinfeld

 

Remember the early 90s? Those were good times...

Real Life Seinfeld - The Post Office

 At my lunch break I found a note that a package delivery had been attempted at my location and I needed to go to the USPS to pick it up. Ever ready to go to the post office (it is always a sweet experience) I got in my car and drove over.

As I'm walking on the sidewalk, I see an old woman in front of me. I catch up to her quickly, as she's walking very slowly, and I slow down right behind her. In this situation, I have the debate of what is the right thing to do. What I want to do is pass her, so that I can hold the door for her, but I wonder also whether passing someone who's walking slowly hurts their feelings. Not knowing what to do, I just slow down and stay behind. Then, in front of the door, she stops to put on a surgical mask. I wait behind her for a few seconds and then think, "this is stupid" and so I pass her and open/hold the door for her. In fact, I open and hold 3 doors for her, the design of the post office being what it is.

She says something like "That's nice of you to pass people" to which I smile, not knowing what that means or how to respond. It sounds like she might be angry that I passed her but then I was thinking it was possible that she's playfully thanking me for going ahead and opening the doors for her. Then I get in line to get my package and she says something to the same effect, I still smile and say something like "alright" still not understanding what she's saying. Then, as I'm walking up to the counter, she says, "I bet you wouldn't be smiling if it was you on the other side." And at that moment, I realized oh no, she's angry that I passed her. It was all a plot to get in front of her in line.

So it works as Seinfeld at both ends. From her perspective, she encountered a psychopath who's basically sprinting past old ladies to steal their place in line and then laughing at them when confronted. From my perspective, she stopped. If she was just a slow walker, I would have stayed behind no problem, in fact I did that, but she stopped... and when someone stops in front of you, you're under no obligation to sit and wait behind them. You stop, that's on you.

Seinfeld Movie References

 

I consider myself to be pretty much a movie aficionado but I have to say there are tons of references that I didn't spot.

Comedy is an Endangered Species

This video is depressing. I thought a long time for a better disclaimer but couldn't do better than to say this video is depressing.

You've been warned.

Seinfeld Chronicled

Yesterday I completed a (about) 6 month-long project (I say "project" because it sound more impressive). Using Netflix, I had rented every disc of every season of Seinfeld as fast as the mail allowed.

I had previously confirmed that I had seen every episode and I'm well aware that thousands of reruns are aired every night on TBS alone. But the point was to go through all the deleted scenes, all the commentaries, all the extras as well as the flubs, bloopers, screwups and boners. I'm a big fan of all that "inside" stuff about where the ideas came from, how the show was created, what were the obstacles, etc. And on that count, it pretty much delivered although it was a long haul with a good number of thin spots. Still, next time anyone watches Seinfeld with me, they better prepare to get hit with some knowledge.

That's 9 seasons over 8 DVD seasons and 4 discs per season for 32 DVD rentals and 180 episodes. So, that's that done. On to the next thing...

Cheer Up, Phillies Phans

Well, given how devastated we Philies fans are, I figured I'd make a post to help get us through the darkness. But before I do that, let's dwell on the negative first.

Our team lost to a team who has a fat guy playing third base.

OUR TEAM LOST TO A TEAM WHO FIELDS A FAT GUY AT THIRD BASE. Look at this guy:

We lost to that guy. No team should ever lose an athletic competition when the other team has a fat guy. Would you lose a 100 yard dash to Rerun from "What's Happening!!"? No, you wouldn't. You might lose a dancing competition, but not a sprint. So painful. And I didn't even mention that their best pitcher is a 14-year-old homeless girl. FACT. Ugh.

So onwards and upwards, I s'pose.

First, as bad as this loss is, and as pathetic I am for investing so much emotion into a sports team, we can all take much comfort in the fact that our patheticness (a word?) isn't even close to the level that this guy achieves:

Secondly, this passed season, lest we forget, was the season of the little Phillies-fan-who-throws-the-foul-ball-back viral video. But less well known is the segment in which Daniel Tosh digs deeper and allows them to redeem themselves.

Tosh.0	Weds 10:30pm / 9:30c
Web Redemption - Phillies Fan
www.comedycentral.com
Tosh.0 Videos Daniel Tosh Web Redemption

That's gotta put anybody in a better mood.

And finally. Cheer up, NBC, ya just gotta. Because even as we speak, the NBC casting department is still hard at work to find the new Seinfeld:

Wait, was that my point? Ah anyways, I still feel pretty crappy. GOOOOORRRRRNUTTTS!