Whereas we previously covered two chocolate bar based puddings, we're onto Sonic milkshake puddings.
It should be noted that I know nothing about Sonic shakes. There's a Sonic near me and I've gotten food there maybe twice and I don't think I ever included a shake. So I won't be attempting to evaluate how well they simulate what they're trying to simulate and I'll just focus on whether they're enjoyable.
Sonic Birthday Cake Shake Pudding
You can probably imagine how this tastes by the name but I was trying to figure out how to describe "birthday cake" flavor anyway. Is it... vanilla + butter + more sugar? It's that in pudding.
What shines here is the Vanilla. I am a huge Vanilla pudding fan, so I'm down for this. Nothing spectacular but good.
Sonic Strawberry Shake Pudding
What are the top dessert flavors? Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, right? So it would seem to follow logically that we've had Strawberry pudding a million times and yet... I think this is the first time in my life I have had it. That is a strange revelation.
And I don't think I like it. I mean, it's not bad, I'm not sure any pudding is bad, but I don't like it. It's obviously an artificial strawberry flavor but it's just not a good artificial strawberry. Mine also had a hint of garlic but that was picked up from sitting in my fridge. Even taking the garlic out of the equation, it's just not a hit.
Sonic Banana Shake Pudding
I love Banana pudding. That's my bias. I love this. This is my favorite. Is this better than the other brands of Banana pudding? I can't tell. That would take a side-by-side comparison. Does the "shake" simulation part throw it off somewhat, or is it an improvement? I don't know. But it's great.
---
My favorite pudding is Vanilla so I would have liked to try that, but it appears to have been discontinued. I'd also like to try plain old Chocolate but that's hard to find also.
Pudding's been a stale game for a while - it's Jell-O, with the standard flavors, and it's the other guys. But I recently saw - I don't remember where - some people are changing up the game, ya dig?
Milky Way Pudding
Now between the two candy bars represented in this post, Milky Way is my favorite, so this pudding theoretically had the greatest chance of success.
The pudding, I suppose, is attempting to simulate the chocolate, the nougat and the caramel. The chocolate and nougat, it simulates well. The caramel is represented by a weird taste that seems to me to have nothing to do with caramel. I'd call it butterscotch... maybe.
I wouldn't say this tastes at all like a Milky Way bar but, at the same time, it has a deep earthy cocoa flavor that I really appreciate, so I would marginally recommend it (if that's your thing).
Snickers Pudding
I think Snickers are Milky Ways with peanuts. Am I wrong about that? I think so. So this has to simulate the same flavors plus peanuts. And this it does well - there is a definite peanut flavor with the chocolate. I would give this a thumb's up in the aspect of simulating the candy bar.
The thing is, though, do you really want this kind of smooth artificial peanut simulation? Make regular chocolate pudding and add real peanuts. Even better, make regular chocolate pudding and add peanut butter. Have you ever done that? It's the best (aside from the seed oil aspect).
Conclusion
In the end, these aren't terrible but are also skippable. Try them if you really want to. Available at Walmart and Amazon, and probably other places. Peanut butter and chocolate pudding is the real MVP.
That's right, Mr. Falcon, Rice Krispies Treats Ice Cream exists and I found it and I tried it and now you're gonna hear about it.
This ice cream is very elemental, it comes down to 2 or 3 main features. First, it's a cheap artificial vanilla ice cream base - pretty much the same vanilla as the Eggo Waffle flavor, it's probably made by the same people. But to the base is added a light, sugary flavor meant to represent the marshmallow. Finally, it also has chunks of rice krispies. That's it.
Does this simulate Rice Krispies treats? Sort of. Rice Krispies treats are better, no doubt, but it's a hard thing to copy and this is probably as close as can be expected.
But forget about simulating Rice Krispies Treats because all the elements together are actually reminiscent of soft-serve ice cream with the yellow topping. Remember this?
I've had this topping a million times and have no idea what it's called. My research tells me that it's called "crunch coat," "crunch kote" (at Dairy Queen) and "peanut brittle crunch cone."
So, to me, that's a big win and enough to give this ice cream a thumb's up and recommend it. I am a big fan of the old days of soft-serve vanilla ice cream.
You may wonder if the "Original" on the label means that there are other kinds - there are not. Also, there are other cereal-themed ice creams - Apple Jack, Frosted Flakes, Corn Pops, Honey Smacks and Froot Loops. I won't be trying those because I don't find the ideas compelling, but be aware that they exist if that's your thing.
Check this, Mr. Falcon: Not only does Eggo Ice Cream exist, but it is available in my area and I was able to get some and eat it. And now you're gonna hear about it.
It comes in three varieties: Blueberry, Buttery Maple and Chocolatey Chip. I only found, and I only got, Buttery Maple.
Although the form of the package is a premium pint ice cream, the base of the ice cream appears to me to be a cheap, artificial-tasting vanilla. To the vanilla base is added a brown syrup that also seems artificial but is simulating maple syrup, which, depending on which you buy, often is artificial. To this mix, there are little cubes of crunch added. The crunchy, bready cubes are supposed to be the waffles. This is a mixed bag. If people out there are eating crunchy waffles, I suppose this is appropriate. My experience with waffles, and Eggo waffles especially, and one of the things I remember most fondly about them, is that they were chewy rather than crunchy. On this point, the replication of the waffle experience fails, for me. I understand it's probably a really tough problem to make a waffle-like substance that both isn't ruined by sitting in the liquid ice cream and, on the other hand, isn't ruined by being frozen; but still you gotta play it as it lies.
In the end, Eggo Ice Cream is a fun experiment, but the cheap vanilla base and unconvincing waffle texture keeps it from being anything more than a fun experiment. I would only recommend it to the extremely curious.
I completely missed the whole Barstool Sports thing. I never saw a second of it in my life, I never heard about it until recently I noticed a pattern where a bunch of the podcasts I listen to say they either love Barstool Sports or were even inspired by Barstool Sports.
Then concurrent to that, "One Bite Pizza Reviews" starts getting recommended to me. This show is hosted by the leader/owner/something of Barstool. I click, I find I don't particularly like it, then I click again, I'm not impressed, then I click again and again.
At some point you have to recognize that there's something here. I don't know what but something.
The format is simple. A guy buys a pizza and then rates it after one bite. The rule is one bite and hence the mantra "everybody knows the rules." And somewhere along the line, that led to saying "everybody knows the rules" before housing 8 bites immediately.
These are places I'm never going to get to, so there's no point. I also think my taste in pizza differs from his, so it's doubly pointless. So why am I watching?
I have to respect the rating system. He rates pizzas like I rate movies: a 6 is technically a good score and almost no one gets above a 9. Above a 9 is reserved for the legends.
And then there's the highlight compilations. This one is a tremendous series of train wrecks.
Are you really into tomatoes? Of course you are! That's why Midwest Gardener is here to shoot tomato recommendations straight to into your face! EXTREEEMMMEEE!
I only heard about this video from Game Grumps. You can hear them joking about it here.
Pineapple Lumps are a snack/candy from New Zealand. They're pineapple-flavored marshmallow(?) covered with a thin layer of chocolate.
As far as snacks-of-the-world go, they're pretty good and they may be the only snack I've tried native to New Zealand.
So all of that is all well and good. But here's the twist part...
It turns out that when you mix pineapple, marshmallow and chocolate it tastes like bubble gum. I would never have guessed it in a million years and it makes no sense to me, but it is absolutely true. Weird, right?
Who doesn't enjoy dipping a grilled cheese sandwich into a bowl of tomato soup? But who has time to do all that work? Well, now Campbell's has put all that goodness into just one can. What would you expect to pay for this amazing product?
So I got my hands on a few of these and tried one and am here with the results.
Upon my first hearing of this, my first guess was that Campbell's just mixed their cheese soup with their tomato soup. Having tried it, I would say that this is not the case.
I am pleasantly surprised that it does, to some extent, really taste like tomato soup with a hint of cheese flavor. The cheese seemed to me to be American but the ingredients say cheddar and Monterey jack. But whatever the case, it does really seem to have some authenticity to it and isn't just cheese soup.
Bottom line: if you're craving grilled cheese and tomato soup, it's safe to say you really are better off making the real thing, but this isn't bad by any means, not bad at all.
Yes, reviewing Wendy's fast food chili would be sad and pointless but what I'm reviewing is actually this:
Wandering around a grocery store other than my regular, I found a can of Wendy's No Beans Chili and had to get it. I've never seen anything like this before. Does Wendy's sell store burger? Store fries? As far as I know, no, but here's their chili on a store shelf.
Trying it, it's tomato forward with chunks of mystery meat and just a hint of spice. In short, it tastes like the chili you get at Wendy's minus the beans.
But why take away the beans? Chili isn't chili without beans. And it's not like you cut them out to save money, beans are cheap. Doesn't make sense. Well apparently Wendy's chili is available on Amazon and it's available with beans, so I guess it's down to just what my grocery store decided to offer.
If anyone knows of Wendy's Frosties being sold in stores, let me know immediately.
World-famous Chef Gordon Ramsay has his own line of frozen dinners available exclusively at Walmart. And I tried them all the four I could find. Here's my review...
Fish and Chips
So first off, the box shows a lemon wedge and tartar sauce which the product doesn't contain and there's no disclaimer, so that seems illegal.
Next, the heating instructions are to put them in the oven for 22 minutes, which seems like a betrayal. Isn't it mandatory that frozen dinners are made in the microwave? I'm no expert, I know I could be wrong, but it just seems like if I wanted to bake something in my oven for 22 minutes, I would not be buying frozen dinners.
Since the tartar sauce wasn't actually included, I had to improvise. I had recently bought some Cinnabon Pudding Paks and used that as the dipping sauce, in accordance with what I assume Gordon's wishes may well have been.
In the end, these taste great. The chips are thick and super potatoey while the fish (pollock) chunks are juicy and tender. The portion is really small though. This wouldn't be a dinner for me, this is a snack. I could probably eat two and still be hungry. Oh, and each of these is about $6, if that's a factor.
Rating: THIS FOOD ON THE BOX ISN'T IN THE BOX! YOU COULD GO TO JAIL FOR THIS!!!
Lasagna with Bolognese Meat Sauce
So, now that I did my oven complaint, I found that this one is microwaveable and only takes a few minutes. Right.
Now here the instructions say to "Lift the film on corner to vent slightly" and the dish is a circle so there is no corner. COME ON, WHERE'S YOUR HEAD AT, YA DONUT?!
The instructions also say to microwave for 3 minutes twice and then let rest for 2 minutes. I followed the instructions completely - I followed them to the letter - and when I bit in to it, I burned everything in my mouth. My lips, my gums, my tongue are burned. Throughout the day, I could feel a blister on the roof of my mouth getting larger. It was something to do to pass the time.
This again tastes really good, I mean I think so... They taste good to the extent that I could taste anything at all after burning my mouth. It's well made, it's tasty but it's too small though. Again, I could eat two easily but each is 44% daily value of saturated fat.
Rating: IT'S TOO HOT! YOU COULD'VE KILLED SOMEBODY WITH THIS... DONKEY!! Bloody hell...
Shepherd's Pie
Have you ever wondered why it's called "shepherd's pie?" It turns out all the shepherd's pie I've ever eaten really isn't shepherd's pie. Shepherd's pie is made with lamb, it's in the name. When beef is used, it's Cottage Pie. And, yes, this is made with beef.
Starting to get a rhythm here - another standard microwaveable process.
This is a bit more liquid than I would hope. The mashed potatoes are topped with a good amount of cheese though, which is great. I added some salt and pepper to improve on/correct Gordon's sloppy work. It's another case of pretty good flavor with too small a portion.
This dish contains 84% of your daily portion of saturated fat. I guess it's the cheese? So if you eat this and the lasagna in the same day, you're at 128% and probably still hungry. I know I would be.
Rating: IT'S SOGGY! HAVE YOU NOT TASTED THIS?! Get your head on straight, ya donut!
Chicken Pot Pie
Of the four, I think this is my least favorite. Again, this is microwaveable, and again, it's lava, but I was prepared this time and made the necessary precautions. The crust is super hard, like a thicc cracker. They succeeded in bucking the usual trend of having a soggy crust, I suppose. I still think it's too hard. All the all the ingredients have mixed together to create one uniform taste (not unusual for a chicken pot pie) and there's nothing distinct or great about it. It also tastes slightly strange to me for reasons I can entirely place - like there's a slight chemical taste or something.
For sure, it's not terrible, or even bad, but it is just kind of 'meh.'
Rating: IT'S BLAND! THIS IS BLAAAND! Oh, come on!
Conclusion
I'm really of two minds on this whole thing. These are some of the best-tasting frozen meals I've ever had - maybe THE best - so, on the one hand, they kind of live up to the name and if you don't mind small portions, they're worth checking out.
But I also can't get around the fact that Gordon Ramsay has made a career out of nitpicking other chefs' food and berating them about every minor detail, putting himself up as the example of a chef doing everything right, barely able to tolerate the many failings of everyone else, and here he is selling food made in a factory and sold at Walmart so that any slob in a t-shirt can throw it in the microwave. I can't escape the feeling that this is selling out to an extent that's shocking.
And from this, I thought the idea of the "best" instant ramen was intriguing and decided to seek out the top ones. Unfortunately, in their slapdash, "random" aesthetic, they make it impossible to follow along and therefore are guaranteed to provide no actual benefit to the viewer - that's a guarantee.
But thanks to this post, from u/FluidModeNetwork on Reddit, who took the time to painstakingly break down the film frame-by-frame and determine the results, I have a source of truth and so I bought and tried the top handful. Now that the expensive multiple deliveries from Japan are complete - who said instant ramen was cheap? - and now that I've more or less recovered from my salt coma, I've put together the results.
#8 - Nongshim Shin Black
I skipped over Shin Black because it's the only one I've had before. In fact, I've had it many times. Shin Black has a good umami flavor and a crazy amount of spice, to the point that I recommend it to people who eat hot stuff as if life is a dare.
In the video they say of one Shin Black as "this is burning me alive from the inside out" and then say of another Shin Black "not spicy." I don't know how to differentiate the two for your reference, I just know I have had the first one.
The key takeaway I want to communicate is this: the spicy spice is included in a packet which allows you to fully customize the amount you want. With this knowledge, you can experiment to hit the level just right for you. Once you do that, this is fantastic. Coming into this list, this was my #1.
#7 - Nissin Chili Tomato
As you can see, Nissin is just the official name of "Cup Noodle" here in the U.S. Starting from the Cup Noodle perspective, you know what you're getting in terms of size, quality and noodles. This is unlike the other ones in that it's a red/orange broth. The gold standard of red broth soup, in my opinion, is Campbell's Vegetarian Vegetable and this is no Vegetarian Vegetable. The tomato takes a back seat to the other flavors, but what are the other flavors? I'm no chili expert so I have to assume from the name that the dominant flavor is chili.
Also notable: there are little squares of chicken. I'm not sure I want to know what grade of meat Cup Noodle is using in their instant ramen but it's not great - and how could it be?
It has the noodles you already know, and it's salty, a little tomatoey and a little spicy. Ultimately, I like this soup, I think it's pretty good, but wouldn't recommend it because... it's Cup Noodle... and it just is what it is.
#6 - Nissin Curry Ramen
I'm not a cultured man, I don't have a lot of experience with curry. The main thing I know about curry is that it's Indian in origin and British people love it. There is an interesting parallel where British are obsessed with Indian food and we don't understand their obsession, but in the same way, Americans are obsessed with Mexican food and the British don't understand that. Can't explain it, it just is.
So I can't speak much to the authenticity here, but it's Cup Noodle again so I assume it's not too authentic. It has the normal noodles, it's a brown broth and, just like the last one, also contains meat! This time it's little bits of sausage. My worries about the quality of the meat apply double here.
Cup Noodle with sausage is unusual but it's also unusual in the vegetables it has. It has chunks that I think are potato, as well as carrots and onions. I've never seen a potato in Cup Noodle before. And it's spicy.
Conclusion: all my previous comments about Cup Noodle apply here. But it tastes good, it has a complex spicy flavor and I like the inclusion of potato in the soup.
#5 - Nissin Cheese Curry Ramen
On receiving this, the first thing I noticed is that there's a little cheese packet glued to the lid. This is for you to add your delicious cheese flavor to your delicious curry. Why include the packet, why not just include the cheese in the product? Do you suppose this product is the exact same Curry flavor as before but with one additional add-on? I think so.
The additional cheese mutes the spice of the curry and adds a little richness. I suppose I will agree with the official rankings that this is preferable to the regular curry flavor... ever so slightly.
#4 - Pokemon Noodle Onion Consume
I decided it was beneath me to try any food associated with Pokemon. Fight me.
#3 - Menzukuri Chicken Shoyu Ramen
As you can see, we're not in Cup Noodle Land anymore.
This ramen is large and comes with 3 packets - a brown gravy, a packet of greens and a packet of seaweed. Within the packet of greens is a spiral piece that I've shown above. What is it? I don't know - it tastes like fish.
I don't like the fish flavor, I don't like the seaweed even a little but this is the first instant ramen to justify this post's existence. You are getting something at home which tastes of authenticity - it is literally instant... ramen. This is the one in the video where they say, "This is the best so far."
In subsequent tries, I didn't add the seaweed and skipped the spiral. It still isn't perfect, but it is large, it's complex and I can't stress enough how authentic it tastes.
It should also be noted that I wasn't able to find this one, as such. What I found was "Sumire Sapporo Rich Miso Ramen." Not the exact wording but I couldn't find the exact wording. The labels looked the same and I consulted someone who knows Japanese and my best guess is that it's the same.
This comes with 3 packets - 1 powder, 1 gravy, 1 herbs. The herbs are Japanese herbs/vegetables that I can't identify (similar to #3.)
This has a rich miso, umami taste. I think the richest of the lot. It's also very authentic tasting without the seafood downsides of #3 and it's a large size. It's very hard to make confident judgements because I'm only getting a few (or sometimes 1) shots with each but I think this is my #1. The richness is the thing, for me.
#1 - Ichiran Tonkotsu Ramen Instant Noodles
The first thing that stands out is the size. Check this out:
How about them apples?
This is the one where they state in the video, "You know what that has that the other ones don’t - umami." And, while others do have umami, they are correct that this has it also.
I had trouble coming up with anything to describe this with. It has thin noodles, a good salty flavor, a nice umami flavor, some hot spice but nothing predominates. Why is this #1? My best guess is that this is the SweeTango Effect where the thing that achieves #1 is the thing that no one can complain about, where everything seems right and in proportion. Highly recommend, for sure, but I think/I guess I like #2 better.
End
Feel free to try for yourself. All of these are inconvenient to try to obtain but not impossible. I found a few on Amazon, a few on various Japanese mart sites (be careful with scams) and a few on Ebay. But the prices are crazy, especially when you factor in shipping and the fact that it's noodle soup that takes a few cents to make.
A word of warning: this post isn't going to be great. But it did cost me a large amount of money and took several months to complete - most of these had to be shipped from Switzerland and that takes some time. Plus, chocolate is the closest thing I have to Halloween content, so let's enter the mediocrity...
Keep in mind that I'm doing my own reviews but I'm following the Tiers given to me from Reddit.
S Tier - Läderach
Getting Läderach chocolate required ordering on a Swiss website and cost all of $45 for one box. It turns out the high price is for good reason. The chocolate came packed with dry ice that was still frozen by the time it made it to my doorstep. It is/was the summer and you can't have that chocolate melt in delivery so you deliver it with its own refrigeration. That's impressive.
Not only was it refrigerated, it came in a reusable shopping bag that I've been using ever since. And further, it came with some extra "free" chocolate thrown in. They did it up real classy.
As for the chocolate itself, it was a chocolate assortment like you would get on Valentine's Day. I very quickly determined nothing. You get your chocolate with nuts, you get your chocolate filled with weird stuff, you get the really good ones. It was very good and I was not complaining but it wasn't amazing. You can see in the picture above, some pieces were dusted with baker's chocolate on the outside. I like that.
I would like to try some more, if I can get the funds, but overall, like I said, not much to say in either direction, just "normal chocolate." So you can see how this is going to go...
A Tier - Camille Bloch
Camille Bloch - "Torino"
The particular Camille Bloch I got was Torino - "fine swiss milk chocolate with truffle filling." As you can see in the picture, the top is arced and the middle has a different flavor and texture.
The milk chocolate is very milky - you might say it's very buttery - and the filling is an interesting contrast (different flavor/texture). But the filling has the taste of hazelnut, which is a detraction. I'm very much a purist, I want my chocolate to be of the purest form, no nuts. Others will of course disagree.
In short, not bad but not my thing.
B Tier - Cailler
Cailler is the first one on the list that didn't require shipment from Switzerland, I think... At least I'm sure it's the first one I was able to buy on Amazon. And so I was able to snag 3 varieties.
Cailler Milk - "Chocolat au lait des Alpes Suisses"
The bucket of milk on the wrapper tells the story. This is very milky milk chocolate. In fact, I don't mean to offend anyone but I am going to say something shocking. This chocolate tastes very good but it isn't far off from Hershey's.
Cailler - "Lait Frigor"
I don't know the translation but this is the same general idea as the previous one but it's more chocolatey and less milky. As of this point in the list, this is my favorite. My favorite, but there's not much to say, it's that pure chocolate feeling with nothing to complain about. It also has something in the middle that's slightly different but I believe it's just a different type of chocolate. Like, they contrast chocolate with chocolate. Thumbs up.
Cailler Cremant - "Chocolat Noir"
I know enough about language to know they're indicating dark chocolate and I would know anyway by tasting it. Being a chocolate purist, this should be my favorite but it just falls flat. The chocolate bitterness is there but it lacks the smoothness of the other two. Of the three, the Lait Frigor is the sweet spot where everything is just right.
B Tier - Ovomaltine
Not a typo. "Ovomaltine." Does Ovomaltine have anything to do with Ovaltine? Why yes, Ovomaltine was invented by a Swiss chemist, was exported as Ovaltine to Britain and subsequently also exported to the U.S. as Ovaltine.
This is straight milk chocolate but with a "gritty" filling. One could either say "gritty" or "crunchy." I'll tell you what this is like, and I'm going to upset some people again, but this is not far off from a Nestle's Crunch Bar but maybe a step fancier and probably not made with rice. And it's one of my favorites.
B Tier - Frey
Frey - "Giandor"
Frey Giandor is similar to some of the other ones - normal squares of chocolate but a little something different in the center. The center flavor is almond but that means that it tastes like artificial cherry to me. Not bad at all, I quite like an artificial cherry flavor but it can't be great because, once again, I'm a purist who prefers unadulterated chocolate.
Frey - "Giandor Noir"
If you're as handy with the language as I am, you'll predict that these are the same as above but just with dark chocolate. They are. Not only does the dark chocolate taste better, it mutes the almond even more. These are superior to the previous.
Frey - "Truffles Noir"
Chocolate balls around a liquid center. What is the liquid? I couldn't really tell but guessed alcohol and I was right. What type of alcohol? I have no clue. These are excellent, the chocolate is dark (obviously) and smooth and melt in your mouth.
These may be the top item on this list but I'd need to revisit some of them to be sure. It's hard to rate things consistently over many months. But definitely recommended.
The Rest of the Tier List
I cut it off at B Tier. For the sake of completeness, C Tier is Lindt and Toblerone. Lindt is the most widely available Swiss chocolate in America, and I do enjoy it but haven't had it lately. Toblerone, I have also tried and isn't for me. I see no reason to go to D Tier and below who knows what the future holds?
Conclusion
For better accuracy, it would have been great to try more variety of chocolate and more times. My ratings compared to the Reddit user's are somewhat random.
I do not conclude that Swiss chocolate is the best in the world, but neither do I claim to know. My favorite is still a particular type of French chocolate. And I definitely have nothing against Swiss chocolate, they were all very good.
One thing that this has made clear to me is: I love truffles. If I could do it all again, I would get every type of truffle and compare those apple-to-apple. If there's ever a reason to rate chocolates again, that's what I'll do.
Mustard (Plochman's) - As much as you can get out of the thing. [Substitute French's if necessary]
Instructions
In a large bowl, beat eggs to a homogenous consistency, whilst making "tsk" sounds with your mouth.
Add half and half and mix into eggs (as above).
Heat a pan to medium heat. Add butter. Once the butter has melted, add the egg mixture to the pan. As the eggs cook and solidify, massage with fork until fluffy.
Once eggs are done, pour onto plate and add mustard. Serve.
Review
So I tried this recipe, following the instructions completely, with the exception that I assumed the "as much mustard as you can get out of the thing" thing was an exaggeration. I'm no Julia Child, I'm no Gordon Ramsey, but that's my guess. I found that Plochman's Mustard is available on Amazon, I bought that. I even bought a pint of half and half even though I only needed a tablespoon.
A few things that I found confusing...Firstly, I'm confused by the complete mixture of the eggs. I always thought when you're making an omelet, you beat completely but that if eggs are scrambled, you would keep some marbling, some heterogeneity. I also don't know what "massaging" the eggs is in this context because, again, the way he describes it sounds like an omelet and I'm not making an omelet. The final thing I found confusing was: I was left to my own devices as to how much mustard to use. Given the charge to add the entire full, new bottle, I didn't make that disaster but simply added more than I was comfortable with.
The result? The eggs are fine but the taste of mustard dominates and it's unpleasant. That's going to differ completely from person to person but I personally don't like the strong mustard taste. I may try again with a different massaging technique and less mustard. When Dave mentions mustard, the audience gasps. I also was not familiar with scrambled eggs and mustard so I could relate. But I was trying to think why it's weird and can't find a reason. After all, I normally like scrambled eggs with ketchup so I don't have an objective leg to stand on.
Update: I tried again with the following modifications:
Less egg mixing
Added salt/pepper.
Used my own method of "scrambling" rather than "massaging."
Used a smaller amount of mustard - like "essence of mustard."
Result: Much better. Although it still seems like an acquired taste that I haven't acquired, still they're good and it seems at least possible that I could acquire the taste.
I picked up some Goldenberries at the store the other day (AKA Cape Gooseberries, AKA Peruvian Groundcherries) and they are a trip.
They're very weird, very hard to describe. They look like yellow cherry tomatoes and taste a lot like cherry tomatoes as well. But they're 50% cherry tomato mixed with sour and sweet. It's as if you took tomato taste and mixed it with lemon and sugar.
I ate one and was immediately repulsed, then I ate another and was shocked at how weird it was. Then I kept eating and found it hard to stop. That pretty much sums it up - they're both terrible and I wouldn't recommend them... and at the same time, I really like them and need more.
Their skin is also sticky, which I've never experienced before in a food. But the internet confirms that it is a natural occurence.
No one knows what groundcherries taste like (no relation to regular cherries) but if you do, they're like a sweeter, weirder, wilder groundcherry. Their alternate name "Peruvian Groundcherry" is apt.
A question I had never thought of until a friend sent me this article:
More intriguing still is the classic red candy's tart berry taste (at once familiar and foreign), which has stumped millions of fans for years. But one needs only to look to the candy's country of origin — yes, Sweden — to discover what this red swimmer is meant to taste like. It's the Scandinavian berry of choice, the lingonberry.
I knew at once that I needed to try this out and find some lingonberries. I failed. The next best thing I could find (the only thing I could find) is lingonberry jam.
What does lingonberry jam taste like? I tried to figure it out but failed at that too. It's very non-descript. It's like take strawberry and mix in some cranberry, maybe. Maybe there's some raspberry there but it's so vague. My tests were: I tried it with bread, I mixed it with yogurt, I was so stumped that I tried it naked. Very indistinct.
The main question I wanted to answer was: "Does it taste like Swedish Fish?" Hard to say, another failure. If I had to answer, I'd say "No" but it's very tough. We all know that cherry flavored candy doesn't taste like cherry and orange flavored candy doesn't taste like orange and on and on, so the fact that I can't even get a grip on the taste of the jam, there's no way to make that giant step of abstraction. Failure.
As the title suggests, BrutalMoose tries freeze-dried/camping food. It doesn't go great.
It's weird to me to see someone so unfamiliar with astronaut/freeze-dried ice cream. I've loved that all my life. The "sandwich" part of the ice cream sandwich is not great, but the ice cream is wonderful.
Are Smash Burgers superior? 6 Irish people can't be wrong.
I myself have been trying to perfect smash burgers recently and it's been a struggle but I'm learning and making progress. The amazing thing about smash burgers is: it's pretty fool-proof - even when I've messed up everything, the burgers are still good.
