Tuesday, June 11, 2024

Gordon Ramsay TV Dinners

World-famous Chef Gordon Ramsay has his own line of frozen dinners available exclusively at Walmart. And I tried them all the four I could find. Here's my review... 

Fish and Chips


So first off, the box shows a lemon wedge and tartar sauce which the product doesn't contain and there's no disclaimer, so that seems illegal.

Next, the heating instructions are to put them in the oven for 22 minutes, which seems like a betrayal. Isn't it mandatory that frozen dinners are made in the microwave? I'm no expert, I know I could be wrong, but it just seems like if I wanted to bake something in my oven for 22 minutes, I would not be buying frozen dinners.

Since the tartar sauce wasn't actually included, I had to improvise. I had recently bought some Cinnabon Pudding Paks and used that as the dipping sauce, in accordance with what I assume Gordon's wishes may well have been.

In the end, these taste great. The chips are thick and super potatoey while the fish (pollock) chunks are juicy and tender. The portion is really small though. This wouldn't be a dinner for me, this is a snack. I could probably eat two and still be hungry. Oh, and each of these is about $6, if that's a factor.

Rating: THIS FOOD ON THE BOX ISN'T IN THE BOX! YOU COULD GO TO JAIL FOR THIS!!!

Lasagna with Bolognese Meat Sauce




So, now that I did my oven complaint, I found that this one is microwaveable and only takes a few minutes. Right.

Now here the instructions say to "Lift the film on corner to vent slightly" and the dish is a circle so there is no corner. COME ON, WHERE'S YOUR HEAD AT, YA DONUT?!

The instructions also say to microwave for 3 minutes twice and then let rest for 2 minutes. I followed the instructions completely - I followed them to the letter - and when I bit in to it, I burned everything in my mouth. My lips, my gums, my tongue are burned. Throughout the day, I could feel a blister on the roof of my mouth getting larger. It was something to do to pass the time.

This again tastes really good, I mean I think so... They taste good to the extent that I could taste anything at all after burning my mouth. It's well made, it's tasty but it's too small though. Again, I could eat two easily but each is 44% daily value of saturated fat.

Rating: IT'S TOO HOT! YOU COULD'VE KILLED SOMEBODY WITH THIS... DONKEY!! Bloody hell...

Shepherd's Pie



Have you ever wondered why it's called "shepherd's pie?" It turns out all the shepherd's pie I've ever eaten really isn't shepherd's pie. Shepherd's pie is made with lamb, it's in the name. When beef is used, it's Cottage Pie. And, yes, this is made with beef.

Starting to get a rhythm here - another standard microwaveable process.

This is a bit more liquid than I would hope. The mashed potatoes are topped with a good amount of cheese though, which is great. I added some salt and pepper to improve on/correct Gordon's sloppy work. It's another case of pretty good flavor with too small a portion.

This dish contains 84% of your daily portion of saturated fat. I guess it's the cheese? So if you eat this and the lasagna in the same day, you're at 128% and probably still hungry. I know I would be.

Rating: IT'S SOGGY! HAVE YOU NOT TASTED THIS?! Get your head on straight, ya donut!

Chicken Pot Pie


Of the four, I think this is my least favorite. Again, this is microwaveable, and again, it's lava, but I was prepared this time and made the necessary precautions. The crust is super hard, like a thicc cracker. They succeeded in bucking the usual trend of having a soggy crust, I suppose. I still think it's too hard. All the all the ingredients have mixed together to create one uniform taste (not unusual for a chicken pot pie) and there's nothing distinct or great about it. It also tastes slightly strange to me for reasons I can entirely place - like there's a slight chemical taste or something.

For sure, it's not terrible, or even bad, but it is just kind of 'meh.'

Rating: IT'S BLAND! THIS IS BLAAAND! Oh, come on!

Conclusion

I'm really of two minds on this whole thing. These are some of the best-tasting frozen meals I've ever had - maybe THE best - so, on the one hand, they kind of live up to the name and if you don't mind small portions, they're worth checking out.

But I also can't get around the fact that Gordon Ramsay has made a career out of nitpicking other chefs' food and berating them about every minor detail, putting himself up as the example of a chef doing everything right, barely able to tolerate the many failings of everyone else, and here he is selling food made in a factory and sold at Walmart so that any slob in a t-shirt can throw it in the microwave. I can't escape the feeling that this is selling out to an extent that's shocking.

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