Gilligan's Island - The Question

Recently I finished watching all the episodes of "Gilligan's Island" (98 episodes plus the unaired pilot) along with the four follow-up made for TV movies. I plan to write a few blog posts dedicated to the series and I'll probably post them in order of importance.

So, first up is the great philosophical conundrum that "Gilligan's Island" first presented and continues to plague mankind even today. I've been able to consider it quite a bit over the course of the hundreds of hours I've watched the show. And though I've come up with a conclusion, I have no illusions that it's an easy question or that a good case can't be made for either side. In fact, it's SO close that I spent half my life on the other side. Yes, it's only relatively recently that I've been able to firmly establish that I've "come around" to the totally opposing school of thought.

And so, as I've been split over the course of my life, it perhaps mirrors the nearly even split of our society. But, acknowledging that there are good people on both sides of the aisle and that it's a very difficult issue, nonetheless, after hours and hours of thought and consideration to all the issues and looking at the question from every possible angle, I have come up with my own definitive answer to the great question of "Gilligan's Island".

The answer is Mary Ann.

Conan in Chicago: Hot Dogs

Jack McBrayer and a guest (oops, I guess the preview gives away the best surprise in the bit) visit the "Weiner's Circle":



I love all the kooky and eccentric local oddities that freckle this great land of ours. They help define and reinforce local culture. However, this is one I don't understand in the slightest. It's one thing to have a place where people insult you in a fun, we're-playing-a-character type of way but I don't see that here. This is a straight-up "Boot Camp" episode of "Maury".

But I post it for the Triumphness and the chance to see Jack McBrayer play "mean".

1-800-588-2300 Empire. Today.

Conan in Chicago: The Lincoln Museum

Conan visits Springfield, Illinois - Lincoln Central.



It's weird to see a place you've been to on TV. I've visited the Lincoln museum. As Conan eludes to, the use of life-size replica statues is pretty corny but that aside, it's a really cool museum with very clever and interesting exhibits.

Of course, the number one thing I wanted to do was visit Lincoln's tomb because that is supposedly really cool and feels more "real" but that never happened.

Mary Todd Lincoln is hot.

Return of the Wolf Waker

[Broken Links Removed]

With the Wolfwaker to guide them, creatures of the Wolf Planet lived in peace and prosperity for thousands of years. They developed a complex system of government and arts and science flourished and a broad industrial base waked into existence in half a century. Within a millennium, the wolves ventured into space and became children of the stars. 

On a bright, clear day, 6000 years after landing on Lupen, the Wolfwaker was given their fastest vessel. Equipped with neutrino-pulse-disruptor technology, this massive star ship could tear through the very fabric of the universe, devour Class 9 stars and bring the Wolfwaker home at last. "Is this the end of my long journey?", he wondered. "Can I finally put down my harmonic spear?" 

As he sped through the outer limb of the galaxy, riding on a pillar of fusion flame toward a planet he called home - towards uncertainty - the Wolfwaker knew in his bones that the fight was not over. The iris to open the faster-than-light communicator embedded in the fat of his hand had sent one final coded message hurtling back through space to the wolves. 

It was his final goodbye, and it was a warning...

Conan in Chicago: The Blues

Conan meets with elementary school kids and teaches them the Blues:



It's been a long time since I've seen "Caps for Sale".

This post is dedicated to Olivia (2005-2012).

Conan in Chicago: Irish Stepdancing

Conan is in Chicago for a week of shows. Today he learned how to do traditional Irish stepdancing.


I think Conan's confusing a leprechaun finding a pot of gold with a prospector (Walter Huston in "The Treasure of the Sierre Madre") when he finds a vein of gold. You decide.

TAYYYYYTOOOOSS!

Movie Review: The Longest Day (1962)

The Longest Day (1962)

"We are witnessing something which historians will always say is completely improbable... and yet it is true."

The "Longest Day" depicts the events of D-Day from all sides (German, British, French, American) and at every level (civilians, soldiers, generals, soldiers, medics) and on all five beaches. Stars Richard Burton, Sean Connery, Henry Fonda, Robert Mitchum, John Wayne within a cast of thousands.

I was told that "The Longest Day" was a fantastic movie but had not given watching it high priority because I assumed that a movie from 1962 and starring John Wayne was bound to be laden with old Hollywood war cliches. I couldn't have been more wrong.

That realism is the goal is evident from the outset. Scenes depicting Americans end only to give way to scenes of the British. When those end, the focus turns to the Nazis - depicted as intelligent military men and speaking in actual German with subtitles at the bottom of the screen. Next the French Resistance, speaking French, again with subtitles. The movie has the audacity of not just introducing a cast of characters, but listing their name, rank and country at the bottom of the screen as they do it. Instead of just "based on true events", the movie attempts to be accurate down to the real individuals and demands  that viewers hold them to that standard.

Although there are innumerable storylines, the viewer gets the sense that there is only one storyline. The story is the day. The story is history unfolding. The constant changes of context from one group at one location in one aspect of battle, to another group at another location in another aspect of battle, gives the movie a sense of urgency and modernity. The vast number of characters/real people and situations depicted almost give it a documentary feeling. There are shots in this movie that involve so many men and so many explosions that you feel it must be actual footage of the landing. There is a long, continuous shot during the fight in Ouisterham that is as startling and amazing as you will see in any movie.

Perhaps my opinion is skewed by the day I watched it. Nevertheless, I found it as intense and adrenaline filled as any movie I've seen. The film does the only thing a war movie should do - and the thing that every great war movie ("Glory", "Saving Private Ryan") does - it strives for absolute realism, knowing that the reality of war is more exciting, more intense, more depressing, and more horrible than any fiction.

9/10.

IMDB 250 7.12 - The Artist (2011)

The Artist (2011)

George Valentin is one of the top silent stars in the world. But when the new "talkies" capture the imagination of the public, he goes from being on top of the world to hitting rock bottom. The twist of "The Artist" is that it tells the story of the death of silent pictures with a silent picture.

As an appreciator of the silent film genre, I've often wondered whether a modern silent could be made today. There's no doubt - in my mind - that visuals, lush orchestration and minimal dialogue (displayed on title cards, of course) can create a compelling and moving story. But would anyone believe that enough to actually make one? And even if they did would anyone go to see it?

Of course, when I thought about a "modern silent", I had in mind a color picture, set in the present day, using modern film making techniques. As "The Artist" is black and white, set in the '20s and '30s and styled after the silent pictures of old, it's a case of "so close but so far."

My own personal curiosities aside, "The Artist" is a good movie, full of laughs, drama, romance and some touching moments. It's not only a sweet homage to the silent picture era films, but also a flawless recreation. Every minute of the movie feels totally authentic to the period. Even as the acting mimics the slightly over the top style of the 30's, you can't help but be engrossed in the emotion.

Watching it, the thing that jumped out to me is how inaccurate the term "silent movie" is. When a movie has a larger than life classical score that's front and center all the time, there's nothing "silent" about it.

"The Artist" is a worthy homage to the pictures of the silent era but it doesn't surpass them. If you want to see a silent movie, and can find one, watch a movie by Buster Keaton or Harold Lloyd. If not, "The Artist" is not a bad choice.

7/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 361.

[End of Revision 7.]

IMDB 250 7.11 - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows : Part 2 (2011)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)

"The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. That much has always been clear to those of us who have studied wand lore."

So says Dingus Jinglegargle in "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2", the 91st installment of the Harry Potter series. Unfortunately this quote is one of the few times in the film that wand lore is mentioned or discussed. If there's one problem I had with HPatDH:P2 it's the stunning lack of wand lore discussion. There are so many Harry Potter movies, would it be so hard to devote one movie to wand lore? How about it, Hollywood?

The drama in action movies, is the tension between hoping the protagonist succeeds and fearing that he'll fail. If you know the protagonist will succeed, there is no tension. You know how I knew Harry Potter was going to be OK? Magic. It doesn't matter what happens to him, everything can be solved with magic. It's what makes magic so magical. Watch what happens to classic movies when you insert this one element.

Jaws
Fisherman: Uh oh, there's a giant shark in these waters.
Robert Shaw: Don't worry I'll banish it with a spell.
The End.

The Bicycle Thief
Antonio Ricci: Someone stole my bicycle and without it, I'll lose my job.
[Ricci conjures another.]
The End.

Back to the Future
Marty: I've disrupted the space-time continuum and now I'm in danger of never being born, Doc!
Doc Brown: This is indeed serious. Fortunately, I have a incantation which will make your mother and father fall in love and set everything right again!
Marty: That's great, Doc!
The End.

To its credit, the film counters this uphill battle in two ways. First, they put limitations on the magic. But as far as I can tell, the limitations are completely arbitrary and totally unpredictable. In one scene magic critically injures a man, but isn't used to heal him. Why one and not the other? I suspect it's that the writer wanted a powerful "deathbed" scene. People die all throughout the film but late in the film,  someone dies but then magically comes back to life. Why one and not the others? In another scene, a wizard has to run across a bridge before it collapses. Is there no spell for super speed or levitation or flying or holding bridges together? If I was on the board of wizard research, that would be a top priority.

The second way the movie counters the "magic problem" is to counter the good guys' magic with villains who also have magical abilities - that way they cancel each other out. But that's just as confusing and nonsensical. One guy's blue lightning throws someone back but someone else's blue lightning disintegrates someone, then blue lightning and orange lightning have a fight and orange gets overpowered. What? How exciting. It's just a good thing that when two people point magical wands at each other it looks cool and macho on screen.

Potter fans might argue that in order to appreciate HPatDH:P2 I'd need to watch all 90 previous Harry Potter movies. Hey, I may have more free time than anyone I know but life's too short for this wizards and warlocks crap.

4/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 360.

IMDB 250 7.10 - Throne of Blood (1957)

Throne of Blood (1957)

Between battles within medieval Japan, two warriors are lost in a mysterious forest. Suddenly an old man appears (possibly a ghost) and prophecies that one of the men will become Emperor and the other will be the father of an Emperor. Do you take this prediction seriously? And if so, what do you do?

The film deals with questions of fate, predestination, free will and Machiavellian politics. You almost feel that knowing the future makes life MORE confusing, not less. Even if you know your future and it's something good, can you screw it up? Do you do nothing and suppose it happens "magically" or should you act? The questions are delicious.

It's another example of East meets West as the story is based on Macbeth, replacing medieval Europe with medieval Japan. A pleasant surprise is the "special effects" (for lack of a better word). The final scene features a man under attack by a barrage of arrows and, in 1957, you know it's not CGI. But how?

Not Kurosawa's best but even on a bad day he's still excellent.

7/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 359.

IMDB 250 7.9 - The Intouchables (2011)

The Intouchables (2011)

When an extremely wealthy quadriplegic (played by French Dustin Hoffman) hires a black man from the inner-city (played by French Taye Diggs), an unusual friendship forms.

We've seen this movie many times before (though never from the French). The poor man moves into a mansion and lives the good life for the first time. The "regular guy" that brings new life to a stodgy household. The white guy introduces the black guy to classical music. The black guy introduces the white guy to Earth, Wind and Fire. The fact that they are so different makes their friendship that much more fun.

Still, it is done well. It's amusing, heartfelt, sometimes fun, light entertainment.

6/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 358.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

[Editor's Note: This is an old blog post from last Summer. For some reason, it was moved to the present time as if it were new but the post itself is unchanged... other than this note.]

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

It's pretty safe to say that the Western, as a genre, is alive and vital once again. With modern movies like "True Grit", "Red Dead Redemption" in the video game realm and on TV, the series "Deadwood", which I continue to rave about even though no one listens, the genre is, in a word, "back".

2007 ALONE saw the release of "No Country for Old Men", "3:10 to Yuma" and "There Will Be Blood". That's impressive. With that many quality Westerns in the same year, it wasn't surprising that the Brad Pitt vehicle "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" got overlooked. In terms of public opinion and critical acclaim it was barely a blip on the movie radar. For these reasons - and as dangerous and slippery as such statements are - it may be the most underrated movie of all-time.

The movie tells the story of the last days of the outlaw bank/train robber Jesse James and his gang. After more than a decade of running from the law, Jesse's brother Frank James decides to go on one last big score and retire. With various gang members being killed, arrested or leaving over the years, Jesse increasingly has to rely on untested, unknown recruits and he's becoming increasingly paranoid. With a hefty ransom on his head, a U.S. Marshall could be anywhere, any ally could be planning to shoot him in the back and any job could go wrong.

This movie has everything I could possibly want in a Western... or really everything I'd want in ANY movie for that matter. When you're in the old west and everyone is carrying a gun on their hip and you're surrounded by outlaws, any moment could mean life or death. This movie has a life, a brutality and a tension that's hard to match. This movie is dark, it's tense, it's brutal and violent and sepia-toned and beautiful. And it's dark. The only criticism I can lob at it is that I can admit that Brad Pitt is essentially too good looking and, as a period drama, it can take you out of the reality of the movie. But such moments are brief.

In fact, all the acting in the movie is excellent. Brad Pitt - great as always, Sam Rockwell plays Charley Ford and is good in everything and Casey Affleck is excellent as the Coward Robert Ford. I think this is one of his first roles (I know I'd never heard of him) and he completely embodies the character. There's also a small "cameo" type role from Zooey Deschanel and a tiny cameo from Nick Cave who did the score.

The thing that stood out immediately was the cinematography. The look, style and shots in this movie are, at times, incredible. Certain sections and shots in this movie are some of the best I've ever seen. The direction is top-notch, the sound is great, the music is great and obviously the writing is excellent.

I spend some time on this blog talking about overrated films and why they're sometimes not all that good. But this movie IS good. It's my favorite film of any I've watched in recent memory. It's a reminder that even after all these years, movies can still stress me out. And a movie can still make me afraid of the dark.

9/10.

The Watch Trailer on Conan

Vince Vaughn makes a surprise appearance on Conan to show the trailer to his new film "The Watch".



The thing I'm most excited about is not Vince Vaughn or Ben Stiller or Jonah Hill. The most exciting thing is that Moss from "The IT Crowd" is in a movie with Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller and Jonah Hill. OK, his real name is Richard Ayoade but he's Moss.

Less exciting is the new aspect of the movie that I hadn't heard of before: aliens. A Neighborhood Watch movie is a funny concept... A Neighborhood Watch movie where they fight aliens is just puzzling. Still, I'm looking forward to it.

IMDB 250 7.8 - Warrior (2011)

Warrior (2011)

Tommy and Brendan are brothers. They haven't seen each other for years and they don't want to see each other. When their father's alcoholism finally broke the family apart, Brendan stayed with his dad and Tommy went with the mother. When each one independently decides to compete in mixed martial arts (MMA) fighting, it's only a matter of time before they meet up again.

I hate MMA fighting. It doesn't interest me in the least. Nevertheless, as a basis for a sports movie, one activity is as good as another. And this movie does exactly what it's supposed to: you get the training montages, you feel the suspense of each punch and counter-punch, you feel the roar of the crowd and cheer at the victories. The movie has two protagonists and also does a good job of not playing favorites. So although it's inevitable that they'll meet for a big fight at the end, it isn't obvious who's going to win.

Every fighting movie is going to be compared to "Rocky". It's not right necessarily, it just is. And so I have a small complaint about a specific moment in the film. The movie sets up a fight of the unknown Brendan going against an unstoppable machine from Russia known as Koba. Automatically my mind goes to "Rocky IV" but I'm thinking that's unfair. Then, surprise, Brendan's worrywart wife shows up at the match to cheer him on and provide plenty of concerned/excited reaction shots. Alright, I'll let that slide too. But then Koba makes his entrance and it goes too far. Koba and his whole entourage are decked out in Hammer and Sickle-themed clothing. Come on, the Cold War was two decades ago and that's "Rocky IV"! You're doing "Rocky IV"!

Although this movie is certainly not "great", in the "Top 250" sense, I do want to emphasize that it is good. It has exciting action sequences but, like "Rocky", the sequences are meaningful because we know about, and care for, the characters involved.

7/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 357.

IMDB 250 7.7 - Come and See (1985)

Come and See (1985)

"And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth."

During World War II, a boy in Belarus decides to leave his home and join a Belarusian resistance force. Sitting between Nazi German and the USSR, Belarus is a fierce battleground. He'll grow up quickly as he faces the realities of war.

The first third of the movie feels like a coming of age tale - the main character, a boy of about 14 fights with his mother, plays on the beach and meets a girl. In these scenes, and in some that follow, some of the acting is poor or overwrought and some of the direction seems amateurish. But these scenes will be overshadowed by what's to come.

Based on true events, the movie will descend further and further down into Hell on Earth. It depicts the horrors of war not in the usual sense of bullets, tanks and the heat of battle. Rather, in the sense of soldiers rounding up an entire town, locking them in a barn and setting it on fire. Or the scene of a man begging for his life as he's being dowsed in gasoline. It's the kind of movie that's so brutal in its subject matter and so matter-of-fact in its depiction, that it's difficult to talk about.

I don't know when you'd be in the mood to witness atrocity but it's undeniable that its depiction here is sobering and extremely powerful.

8/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 356.

Stefon Finale

Stefon stops by (for the last time?) to offer tourists some hot spot suggestions:



I was thinking that maybe this segment had jumped the shark. Maybe Hader's laughing at his own jokes more than the audience*. Perhaps. But then you get to a thing like "human R2-D2" and you realize that, like it or not, this is a brand of writing you won't find anywhere else.

* In his defense, certain jokes are hidden from him ahead of time so he ends up hearing them for the first time as he speaks. For better or worse, the whole thing is specifically designed to get him to crack.

IMDB 250 7.6 - Tokyo Story (1953)

Tokyo Story (1953)

A grandmother sits with her grandson and watches him play in the grass. "What are you going to be when you grow up? A doctor like your father? ... By the time you become a doctor, I wonder if I'll still be here."

In 1950's Japan, an elderly couple travel to Tokyo to visit their children and grandchildren. But their children lead busy lives and have little time to talk before the couple must be heading home.

These days, that wouldn't be enough to make a movie. "Tokyo Story" is Japanese, it's black and white, it's from the 50's. It's slow, it's quiet, it's reserved. The "dramatic" things that happen here are things like one of the young children becomes cranky or the dad gets called into work unexpectedly.

But if you can wrap your head around all of the above and see past it, there is beauty in its simplicity. It's extraordinary by being ordinary. The grandparents, the parents, the children, the siblings are all characters we know - we are these characters. And this movie allows us to sit with them and spend time with them and examine and observe.

The grandparents live far away so their time with their families is rare and brief. So what do they spend their time talking about? Train times, the weather, what they'll be eating. If any of these characters says ONCE out of every thousand opportunities, what they really feel, what they're honestly thinking or what any other person means to them, it's a major and dramatic surprise.

Are we any different?

7/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 355.

IMDB 250 7.5 - Ip Man (2008)

Ip Man (2008)

In 1930's China, the task of assigning computer internet addresses (IP addresses) was not trusted to a mere machine. Only a man - a master of counting at the highest level - could be charged with such an important task. This man is the Ip Man.

In the city of Fansho in the 1930's, Kung Fu schools are everywhere. But even with an abundance of martial artists, one man (Ip Man) stands above them all as the most unstoppable fighting machine. When the Japanese occupy during World War II, the Japanese general in charge of Fansho decides to settle the question of Chinese vs. Japanese martial arts. He sets up a(n underground?) fight club and, before long, forces Ip Man to participate.

Ip Man tells the story of a real man,Yip Man, who invented the martial art school of Wing Chung. And THAT sentence is the extent to which I trust "Ip Man" to be historically accurate. The rest portrays Yip Man as a saint, the Japanese as mustache twirling villains and implies that Yip Man was the rallying cry that allowed China to win World War II. I wondered if the U.S. had a hand in that war but the movie didn't say and I didn't have time to fact-check.

"Ip Man" is a Kung Fu movie through and through... with one twist. Remember the old Kung Fu movies from the 70's where all the dialogue is overdubbed? "Ip Man" does that... but it actually overdubs the Chinese dialog with Chinese. So even though there's fake-sounding speech, you still also have to read subtitles. Not that I mind subtitles, I just can't stand when all the dialogue is overdubbed - it's one of the surest ways of taking me out of the movie completely.

Speaking of languages, one of the central characters is a translator. This is because the Chinese and Japanese don't understand each other. That's a little troubling, then, in the scenes when the Chinese and Japanese characters - who needed his services just a few scenes before - speak directly to each other without him. Whoops!

The writing is weak, the directing is serviceable, the editing is average, the music is particularly cliched and, even if the acting is OK, the overdubbing makes sure that it appears weak. Where the movie excels is in the action sequences. The fighting is lightning-quick and meticulously choreographed at the highest level. In that sense, this movie follows in the vein of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (though the physics involved is a little more down to Earth). And it plays all the hits (one vs. one, one vs. 10, 50 vs. 10, etc.) and all of them is complex and extremely well done. And that, and only that, is why this movie is in the IMDB Top 250.

If you're a Kung Fu fan this movie is a must-see. I am not. The only time a fight is interesting, for me, is when I care about the outcome.

6/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 354.

Anchorman 2 Teaser Teaser

Whammy.




2013?! WHAT?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Milk was a really bad choice.

IMDB 250 7.4 - A Separation (2011)

A Separation (2011)

A wife leaves her husband. The husband (Nader) hires someone to look after their child and his father (now suffering from Alzheimer's). When the woman is caught leaving the father unattended, a dispute erupts and she falls. As luck would have it, she was pregnant and says that the fall caused her to lose her unborn child. Now Nader is on trial for murder and she is accused of neglect.

This is the first Iranian movie to win an Oscar (Best Foreign Language Film) and could be the first Iranian movie I've ever seen (though I'm not sure). "A Separation" is thoroughly steeped in realism and gives an interesting insight into current-day life in Iran. Just about every character conflicts with just about every other character yet none of them are evil and there are no villains - only people. Everyone is trying to be good and live within the rules but the rules are inadequate to handle the full spectrum of human experience. There is no "villain". It's a fallen world in which truth is shades of gray and sometimes two wrongs make a right and sometimes two wrongs make three wrongs.

Like "The Bicycle Thief", this movie attempts to go big by going small - to comment on the general by focusing on the particular. It's subtle and stark without becoming dark and sullen. In the movie, as in everyday life, life is hard. People struggle and suffer and try to do their best to get by and do what's best for their families. And it's a difficult world. But I couldn't help but wonder (and many people will certainly disagree) whether it may be too real. If a movie looks just like real life, should one question why they're watching a movie and not just continuing to live real life? Can a movie be real enough to be ordinary?

This is a well made movie and a lot of people will love it but I can't.

6/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 353.

Conan on Letterman

Conan O'Brien made his fourth ever guest-appearance on the "Late Show" last night. The conversation was uncomfortable, razor-sharp, electric and very funny. It helped heal a nation. It could change the world!

Anyways, there is no way to embed the interview so you can watch the video here and skip to 14:30.

The one thing I was looking for (other than Leno bashing)- the second thing I was looking for out of this interview was to see if Dave would "make nice" and smooth things over. Instead, I don't know if he may have made things worse. The time when Conan lost the "Tonight Show" is the "golden age of broadcasting" for instance.

I was hoping for more insight into the events of a few years ago but time is so limited it just didn't happen.

Is it me or in those moments when Dave says Conan did a great job on the "Tonight Show" and the audience applauds, is Conan a little touched? It could just be my imagination but I see a a tear in his eye.

IMDB 250 7.3 - Harakiri (1962)

Harakiri (1962)

"The greatest delicacies taste of nothing when eaten alone."

When peace comes to Feudal Japan, a Samurai finds himself out of work and on the brink of starvation. When he appears at the gates of a fortress and says he wants to invoke the right of "harakiri" (the right of ritualistic suicide) he's obliged. As he insists on stalling the proceedings to tell his own history, the samurai wonder what his motives really are.

"Harakiri" is a tremendous story of poverty, desperation, resentment and revenge. That the story is masterful is no surprise - the writer, Shinobu Hashimoto, also wrote some of Akira Kurosawa's greatest films ("Rashomon", "Ikiru", "Seven Samurai"). It begins slowly with a simple questioning of the main character's motives and very slowly builds suspense as we learn more and more details of his past.

Watching it, I was struck by how it was simultaneously Eastern and "Western". Though the actors are Japanese and the weapons are samurai swords, it particularly resembles the Spaghetti Westerns of Sergio Leone. Note the tracking shot of a man's shadow as he walks across sand. Watch the extreme closeups of a man's sweaty face as he waits for an attack. Note that the drama is in extending the anticipation leading up to the fight rather than the fight itself. Most surprisingly, watch how the conical Asian hat is wielded for dramatic effect EXACTLY like a cowboy hat.

But the film is undoubtedly Eastern as well. It's a classic samurai movie - perhaps the classic samurai movie. And it's amazing how much movies like "Kill Bill" can borrow from a movie made in 1962.

8/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 352.

Conan on the Late Show

[Strike this. Reverse it.]

It's not just news it's like "moonlanding" news.

NEXT THURSDAY Conan O'Brien will be a guest on the "Late Show" with David Letterman. Conan O'Brien was last a guest on the Late Show 13 years ago in 1999. His first guest-appearance was in 1994 when he had just started "Late Night" (Letterman's old gig).

I think it's safe to assume that the "Tonight Show" debacle (Parts 1 and 2) and Jay Leno might come up in conversation.

Shortly after the "Tonight Show" debacle (Part 2), Conan and Dave had (perhaps) a small tiff of their own as Letterman invited both Jay Leno and Conan to do a Super Bowl commercial together. Conan refused, reportedly saying, “No f***ing way I’m doing that. It’s not a joke to me—it’s real.” Worried about any offense, Letterman called him to make sure "everything was fine". But that's all he said on the subject.

The episode will air Thursday, May 17th.

The Beach Boys on Late Night

The Beach Boys played three songs including one from their new album. They still sound pretty good.

Coco Co-opts College

A college (Sixth College) has decided to rename themselves "Conan O'Brien College" so Conan travels to the campus to ascend to his throne:

See the video here.


[Edit: Now, embedding video causes it to automatically play when loaded which screws up my blog. So I'm just posting links.]

The President on Late Night

Pretty big event for Late Night as they welcomed President Obama as their first guest. Let's go to the clips.







Oh, we don't have any clips?






OK. It turns out when you make every episode of your show a Barrack Obama campaign ad (Late Night, Late Show, Conan) it makes actually having him on redundant.... and boring.

And this is coming from a fan!

IMDB 250 7.2 - High and Low (1963)

High and Low (1963)

When a wealthy businessman receives a call that his son has been kidnapped and is being held for ransom, he and his wife panic and agree to pay the money. A few minutes later, their child walks into the house after a day of playing. The kidnapper has taken the wrong boy but insists on the ransom anyway. The family must decide whether to pay the ransom or risk the life of someone else's child.

As a big Akira Kurosawa fan, it's interesting to seem him make a film set in fairly modern times (modern in the 1960's when it was made). There are suits, thin ties, cocktails and cardigan sweaters. It's almost Kurosawa meets "Mad Men". But the theme is still just as classic: will an ordinary man sacrifice all his wealth and possessions to save someone's life? Feeling pressure from his wife, the police and his business partners, it's still the decision of a single man and his conscience.

Where the film weakens is when it strays from this intriguing sociological experiment. The question of the ransom is only a third of the movie - the other two thirds is dedicated to finding and capturing the criminals. The film transforms into a 1960's police procedural drama. Although well crafted and with significant twists and turns in the case, it's still quite a let down, particularly as there are currently a hundred "CSI" and "Law and Order" shows running around the clock doing essentially the same thing. This movie gets a pass for doing it first, but still, it's not the same.

6/10.

Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 351.

Richter Remodels

For no known reason, Andy Richter decides to help a staffer redo his bathroom.

See the video here.

[Edit: Now, embedding video causes it to automatically play when loaded which screws up my blog. So I'm just posting links.]

Levon Helm

The Band - The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

The Band - The Weight

The Band - All La Glory

Conan Stars in Halo 4

Conan and Andy will star in the upcoming (?) game Halo 4. Fortunately, they brought a camera crew to film them virtually single-handedly crafting the game:

IMDB 250 7.1 - Stalker (1979)

Stalker (1979)

Somewhere beyond the barbed wire fences and guns of a dystopian future city, lies a mysterious area called "The Zone". Is it the site of a nuclear meltdown? Is it the work of aliens? No one knows. There is rumored to be a place within "The Zone" called "The Room" where a man's wishes become reality. Two men, the Professor and the Writer hire a man (known as a "Stalker") to lead them to it.

Filmed in the Soviet Union during the Cold War on a non-existent budget, "Stalker" features minimal dialogue, minimal music, minimal editing, no special effects and the first 40 minutes are black and white. To say that it's slow is an understatement - it moves at a glacial pace. The actors - when they do speak - debate the nature of God, existence, life, science and art. It's as if Ingmar Bergman made a science fiction movie.

All that said, and even though I generally don't like Ingmar Bergman, I like "Stalker". The main strength is the cinematography. The cinematography of this movie is among the best I've ever seen in any movie. You can pick a frame of this movie at random, frame it and hang it in a gallery and it will probably belong. The sepia-tinged black and white of the first part in particular is simply perfect.

Besides the cinematography, the other main strength is the writing. Tension builds slowly as the men navigate the Zone and questions start to stack up. I found the mystery of "The Zone" and the exploration of a strange world and its other-worldly possibilities undeniably interesting. It's somewhat reminiscent of "Lost". In that aspect, the sparse dialogue only adds to the mystery. Less is more.

Obviously, "Stalker" is decidedly an "art house" film. The pacing is extremely slow, shots are extremely static, the existential conversations, the fact that it's subtitled combined with the almost 3 hour run-time all means that it's not for everybody.... or even a lot of people. But if "art house" movies don't scare you and you don't mind a movie that challenges your attention span, "Stalker" is a must-see.

8/10.

Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 349.
Also, IMDB has split the double feature "Our Hospitality/Sherlock Jr." into two separate movies so....
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 350.

Downton Sixbey Episode 1

As much as "Late Night" with Jimmy Fallon "skews young", the show is actually pretty old fashioned. How old fashioned? Well, a new show about the making of the show allows you to see for yourself. It's called "Downton Sixbey" and it's like nothing else on television at the moment.

IMDB 250 Challenge Revision 6 Complete

It's been a year since I completed Revision 5. Can you believe it? A year! And it was only 4 movies. What happened? Well, I wasn't really interested in seeing the movies and kind of put it off. There are a lot of movies that I could write a lot of words about but not these movies so I'll keep it short.

Let's begin... [Ed Note: Fonts may suddenly change without warning. It's a weird blogspot error and fixing it would be too difficult.]

The King's Speech (2010)

My Rating: 7/10.

Based on historical events, this movie tells the story of King George VI who takes the throne when his brother unexpectedly abdicates. The problem? The King's job is to make speeches, particularly in times of war, and George (Colin Firth) has an extreme stutter. Geoffrey Rush plays the speech therapist hired to train the King to speak but if we're doing this, we're doing it MY WAY. No shortcuts, no "buts", it's my way or I walk! Cue the Rocky-style training montage in which the King helps a Russian peasant through the snow.

This movie is extremely well acted, well directed, and well cinematographed(?). It's interesting and worth watching. It won loads of awards. The weakness is the core of the story. Even as the editing and music artificially creates tension, the idea that the King could have trouble with a word isn't the most earth-shattering nail-biter that's ever graced the screen. Still, it's interesting and entertaining. A simple story, well told.

Shutter Island (2010)

My Rating: 7/10.

An insane killer escapes from a mental hospital located on Shutter Island and is missing but presumed to be alive. Detective KidFromTitanic is assigned to the case of eerie music and periods of long silence punctuated by sudden surprise. As he investigates the mental hospital itself, he begins to worry that his life is in danger. As he discovers that he can't trust anyone, paranoia builds, and with growing paranoia, can he even trust himself?

This is a suspense/thriller and is therefore not my kind of movie typically. But I still found it enjoyable as a compelling mystery and a 1950's period detective movie. The psychological twists and turns are reminiscent of "The Sixth Sense" but the twist ending isn't very satisfying.

X-Men: First Class (2011)

My Rating: 6/10.

I've watched a few X-Men movies as part of this list so you know some hardcore fans are out there voting vigorously but I don't understand the fanaticism. That said, this one is slightly stronger than others.

The movie tells the story of the origins of the X-Men as they discover their powers and find that they're not alone. Watching a character first discover that they have a superpower and attempt to harness it is inherently more interesting than watching a character who's known for years and just takes it for granted. So in that sense, it's got a leg up on the other X-Men movies. The other big plus is that the movie is set in World War II and the Cold War. Rooting the story in such weighty history gives it a little more gravity than the average "comic book" movie.

Other than these two aspects, it's the same old. People have highly unrealistic mutations, they choose sides based on whatever's convenient for the story, they debate their place among the fearful normals and they have flashy CGI-vs.-CGI battles that I don't care about.

The fact that this is now the 50th best movie of all-time is a sad reminder at how prevalent the fan-boi culture is and how little respect people have for good movies. In comparison to "The Dark Knight" or "Raiders of the Lost Ark" this is mediocre rubbish.

Castle in the Sky (1986)

My Rating: 4/10.

I'll let Netflix describe the plot:

"In this children's anime adventure, young miner Pazu and mysterious girl Sheeta (who wears a magic pendant arounder her neck) team up to find the long-lost island of Laputa, which is rumored to have great riches and gems. Accompanied by a band of bumbling air pirates led by the quick-tempered Ma Dola, Pazy and Sheeta are pursued by government agents who want the riches of Laputa for themselves."

Yeah, that old story. I just don't have any patience for anime. If you love anime, this is probably worth checking out but I have to be true to my own experience and I was bored silly.

----

Having completed this revision, I'm already a year behind! Hopefully, I'll tackle the newest changes a little faster.

Movies This Revision: 4.

Average Score: 6.

Best Movie This Revision: The King's Speech.

Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 348.

Ron Burgundy on Conan

Ron Burgundy, Action4 News Anchor, made a surprise appearance on Conan to make an important announcement... AND to shred some Jazz flute.

Goulet!

Teeney Weeney Coco Scenery

As previously promised, Tuesday was Conan's "Mini" Show. Mini couch, mini desk, mini mugs, mini podium, mini audience seats, a mini title sequence. There was even a mini drum set for the band.

Watch the full episode here.

Bruce Springsteen Week

Bruce Springsteen Week concluded Friday on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon with an all-Bruce show. Springsteen was the first guest, second guest and musical guest, singing multiple songs. I am not a Bruce fan, myself, but I am an appreciator. I'm not out there buying any of the records but I'll enjoy the occasional track when it comes on the radio.

Regardless of any of this, I would be remiss if I didn't post this song. This is Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band and a horn section and Tom Morello and The Roots and Jimmy Fallon performing "E Street Shuffle":

Neil Young and Bruce Springsteen

For unknown reasons, 80's Bruce Springsteen and 70's Neil Young appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to cover the song "Sexy and I Know it".

Triumph At The GCAs

Recently Triumph visited the Golden Collar Awards. In case you didn't know, (and you definitely shouldn't) the Golden Collar Awards is an Oscar-type ceremony that gives awards to animals. Yeah.

Here's the video:

NBA Jam / Pearl Jam

In yet another surprise performance, Pearl Jam stopped by Late Night to perform for no particular reason whatsoever.

Watching it live, I wasn't that impressed due to the fact that most of the lyrics were unintelligible. Listening to it now, with headphones, it's much better.

Cocoa

Lately Conan's been testing a new spin-off show and it just may be a hit. Following the success of the Puppy Bowl, Conan's made his own version called "Puppy Conan". That show now has its own spin-off "Hamster Conan" as seen in this clip.

Conan keeps promising that they'll do a real show from the "Puppy Conan" set at some point. I hope it happens because it's so lifelike, it's possible to trick yourself into thinking that he and Andy are giants. It's a great mind bender.

Conan O'Brien Came and Hit the Streets

Conan and one of his writers Deon Cole have lunch in an Inglewood "Soul Food" restaurant:

This segment is quite similar to an older segment where he and Al Sharpton visited a "Soul Food" restaurant in Harlem. Conan's quote was something like, "That's why they call it 'soul food' - because after eating it your soul will leave your body."

Super Bowl of Ties

The tradition is this: without a rooting interest in either team, spend the Super Bowl engaging in activities that are very un-Super-Bowl-ish (see: 2011, 2010). This year? A "Family Ties" marathon, babay!

Now, "Growing Pains" and "Family Ties" aired around the same time and were pretty similar in many respects. And although I've never seen a survey done, I'd guess that most people's favorite show was "Growing Pains". While I enjoyed both shows, I always preferred "Family Ties". "Growing Pains" was more purely comical, which is fine, but "Family Ties" had real heart - tackling head-on the important issues of the day. Plus, I'd rather watch Michael J. Fox and Meredith Baxter than anyone on the other show. Of course, "Growing Pains" had a character named "Boner" so it's not an entirely cut and dry issue.

So, get a spoon and some ice cream, it's time to run it down....

S01 E03: "I Know Jennifer's Boyfriend" - Jennifer becomes friends with a boy but after being teased and bullied, has second thoughts. Good, we're easing into things slowly with some standard 80's sitcom fare. Fair enough.

S01 E04: "Summer of '82" - A college girl appreciates Alex's economic views and sleeps with him. When she doesn't want a serious relationship, Alex feels cheap. Wow, that got out of hand quickly. It jumped up a notch, didn't it? Only episode 4 and already 17 year old Alex had pre-marital sex. I was NOT expecting that. We got 7 seasons to go, writers, pace yourselves. Save something in the tank for Season 7.

S01 E05: "I Never Killed for My Father" - OK, we tackled pretty heady stuff in the last episode. It's time to break up the seriousness with some comedic relief. Steven's (the dad's) father makes a visit and reveals he's going to die soon and there's nothing the doctor's can do.

S01 E06: "Give Your Uncle Arthur a Kiss" - With the fluff out of the way, it's back to serious mode. When a friend of the family, known as "Uncle Arthur", makes a pass at Jennifer, it leaves her hurt and confused. I can't believe my parents let me watch this show. "Family Ties" is not for the weak. Geeeeez. Let's move on.

S01 E07: "Big Brother is Watching" - An examination of both the role of a free press in exposing governmental corruption and the moral dilemma of whether truth should be sacrificed in the name of privacy to protect "the little fish".

S01 E08: "No Nukes is Good Nukes" - The Keaton family debates the topic of nuclear proliferation. When the parents' anti-nuclear weapon demonstration lands them in jail, will it ruin Thanksgiving dinner? Here's the thing. Regardless of your views on nuclear weapons (for or against), don't schedule a protest on Thanksgiving Day, please. That's just poor planning. It's just that kind of poor leadership from the left that makes me suspect a second term for Ronald Reagan is inevitable.

S01 E09: "Death of a Grocer" - Cue another fatal disease! Actually, despite what the title would have you believe, no one actually dies. Alex ditches his job at a friendly "mom and pop" grocery store to work at the monster corporation supermarket but soon regrets this decision. Unfortunately, I was fooled by the title and just waiting for the kindly old man to keel over at every turn. Then with one minute to go in the episode, he decides to close the store early to watch the sunset and I'm thinking, "Oh, here it is." but credits roll instead.

And that's it. We shared some laughs. We shared tears. We made cocoa in the middle of the night. dWe're all better people.

Observations

We all think of 80's sitcoms as fluffy bubble gum laughs of non-material saccharin frivolity. Even the "very special episodes", the thinking goes, were tackling the "tough" topics of littering or poor clock management. With just the first few episodes of "Family Ties" as proof, this notion could not be further from the truth. The key though is to be implicit not explicit. You gotta disguise everything using code. Here are some examples:

Elyse: Steven, what do you think your father would like with dinner - beer or wine?

Steven: Well definitely beer, Elyse. You know how my father feels about wine... it's OK for women and interior decorators.

"Women and interior decorators". Has anyone ever used this phrase ever? Still, message received.

Here's how Alex informs his father that he's had sex:

Alex: Well, you know what you think might have happened?

Steven: [Nods nervously].

Alex: That's what happened.

Clever. He says it but he doesn't actually say it.

See, apparently any taboo topic that everyone's covering these days could be an episode of "Family Ties", you just gotta be euphemistic. I didn't know that. I guess they were more 90's than 50's after all. At least, "Family Ties" was. I haven't revisited other shows of the era.

As an aside, I noticed that a poster hanging in the Keaton's kitchen is a concert poster for the Paul Butterfield Blues Band. Those crazy hippies.

And that's it.

Sha Na Na Naaaaaaaa.

Steve Merchant on Letterman

Steve Merchant, co-writer, co-director of "The Office" appeared on the Late Show Thursday and talked about being tall.

Steve's on to promote his new stand-up tour as well as the series "Life's Too Short". As someone who's seen "Life's Too Short", I can say it is awful. On the other hand, Steve's produced a new season of "An Idiot Abroad" (now airing on Science Channel) and that one IS a show that humans might enjoy.

30

Tonight marks David Letterman's 30th Anniversary of hosting a late night talk show. Dave hosted "Late Night" from Feb 1, 1982 to 1993 and will have hosted the "Late Show" from 1993 to Feb 1, 2012).

The show will celebrate the same way it always celebrates an anniversary - by having Bill Murray on. Or not. Bill Murray was the guest last night (1/31). Instead, tonight's guest will be Howard Stern. Must be some mix up with the mail. During the show, Regis Philbin refereed as Bill Murray kicked a field goal to the sound of bagpipes. For Letterman, that's called "Tuesday".

Dave's 30 years in late night will be celebrated without much fanfare - no special, no "best of" clip show, and no media blitz interviews. The one place it will probably be acknowledged is in tonight's show (probably the Top Ten and the monologue).

Almost all of the news stories about this event mention that, as of tonight, Letterman will be surpassing Johnny Carson who hosted "The Tonight Show" for 30 seasons. It's just another (albeit insignificant) indicator of just how unimportant "facts" and "research" are in today's media. Every news story just parrots every other news story.

In terms of number of days being a late night talk show host, Letterman has already surpassed Johnny Carson. Letterman has reached his exact 30th anniversary (minus 3 months for the transition from "Late Night" to "Late Show", the hiatus for his heart surgery, and the shingles hiatus). And while Carson hosted for 30 seasons, it was 29 years and 7 months in terms of the calendar.

In terms of number of episodes, more of the same. Carson was the host of "The Tonight Show" for 4,531 episodes. Letterman = 1,819 "Late Night" episodes + 3,614 "Late Show" episodes for a total of 5,433 episodes.

It's only in terms of total number of hours of television hosting that it becomes somewhat of a question mark. Johnny Carson's smaller number of episodes is counteracted by the fact that "The Tonight Show" ran 105 minutes per episode from 1962-1966 and 90 minutes per episode from 1967-1980. Letterman's entire run has been in the 60 and 62 minute eras. In order to come up with concrete numbers I'd have to break into the Museum of Television and Radio. As best I can calculate (rough estimates and round numbers though still putting way more effort and thought into it than is called for), it's close but, again, Letterman comes out on top. The difference being the large number of times Johnny had a guest-host (well over 600 episodes) vs. only a handful for Letterman (heart surgery hiatus, shingles hiatus).

By any measure of time, Letterman surpasses Carson tonight in no way whatsoever. It already happened. Thus ends this sports-like examination of late night comedy.

And congratulations on an unprecedented 10,957 days of late-night television hosting.

Jammin' On The One

The man, the myth, the legend, Bill Cosby was on Late Night last night. He's getting up in age, he's a little bit slower now, he's a bit more rambling. But Bill Cosby not at the top of his game, is still better than almost everyone else at the top of their's.

His walk-on music was, what I call, "Jammin' on the One" from the episode when the Cosby family met Stevie Wonder and helped him make a song using the magic of synthesizers. Awesome. Later, as they throw to commercial, the music is interstitial music from "Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids".

Unfortunately, the interview is so long, the excerpt of it on hulu is not the full interview so I had to create a clip out of the full episode. So the video will expire in a few days.

A word of advice to anyone who books Bill Cosby on their show: don't bother booking any other guests. That's the show.

Blog Poster's Fire

John Parr recently remade his hit song "St. Elmo's Fire" to ride the recent Tim Tebow hub bub. But Conan reveals that this isn't the first time he's done it.

You just can't put "fire" behind anything.

Weekend Update Roundup

First, Nicholas Fehn is back with another insightful commentary. Nick is known for taking a sideways glance at the week's news and in these tumultuous times, it's his time to shine. This one is one of his best.

And next Drunk Uncle stops by to offer his views on the year just completed and the year ahead.

Philly Phriction: Fey Vs. Quest

I was unaware of a feud but apparently fellow Philadelphians Tina Fey and Questlove of The Roots have developed either a misunderstanding or a feud or both.

In last night's episode of Late Night, it was time to either squash it or settle it behind the Wawa.

On a personal note, I love Tina Fey's Philly. I could listen to that all day. I wish I could do one. I can do about a million different accents (more or less badly) but I've never been able to do a Philly accent. It's weird.

The Nog Hog Revealed

When Conan first saw it he was appalled. He used his Executive Powers to cancel the sketch immediately. But the audience overruled him and the sketch has aired.

All who are weak of heart, turn away now. This is the Nog Hog:

Don't blame me, I voted "No" on the poll. I am the 10 percent.