Movie Review: The Emperor's Naked Army Marches On

The Emperor's Naked Army Marches On (1987)

"You had your way and I had mine. We can't be born together and die together."
"But we all have something in common. We did something terrible."

Kenzo Okuzaki fought for the Japanese in World War II in New Guinea. Even though he survived the war, he found he could not escape it. He decided to devote his life to shouting the truth about the war from the rooftops in order to prevent anything like that from happening again. Early on in the movie we see him driving around in a truck covered in giant billboards that denounce the Emperor, see him being hassled by the police and hear him talk about past arrests without shame.

In this Japanese documentary, we watch Okuzaki investigate the deaths of two of the men who served in his unit. Okuzaki believes they were sentenced to death by their superiors and then executed but the details are unclear. Throughout the film, he shows up unannounced at the homes of the former soldiers and confronts them on camera. One by one details emerge but, like a real life "Rashomon", all perspectives conflict. Were they killed before the war ended or after (when such an execution would be murder)? One says they tried to desert, another says he wasn't there, another says that yes he was. One says the execution was ordered, another says the captain was acting on his own.

When Okuzaki feels the interviewee is not telling the truth, he sometimes gets violent. Not very common to see in a documentary. He brings the surviving relatives of the victims along to increase the pressure to tell the truth. But when the relatives no longer want to participate, he hires actors to play them.

One of the dead soldiers relatives believes her brother was killed in order to be eaten. And that isn't even the most shocking thing that happens.

This is an astounding look at buried pasts, the horrors of war and people's ability to ignore guilt. I can't believe I've lived this long without ever even hearing about this movie. This is a must-see documentary with scene after scene of mind-blowing revelations. More than most other documentaries, it is proof that truth is truly stranger than fiction.

8/10.

Late Night - Bill Cosby Returns

I've talked about how great Bill Cosby is on Late Night. I won't repeat myself. He was great again, here's the strongest segment:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Worlds Collide : MST3K and Late Night

LEAVE THE BRONX.

I was drifting off to sleep listening to the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode "Escape 2000" when I thought I heard an unlikely name.

I rewound to the same moment. Clear as day, Tom Servo says, "Steve Higgins". Here's what it looks like:

Watch the moment here.

LEAVE THE BRONX.

Steve Higgins - in addition to being a long-time and current writer on "Saturday Night Live" - is the announcer and sidekick for "Late Night" with Jimmy Fallon. Here's what he looks like today:

The writers of MST3K are the kings of the obscure reference but, even so, I had to wonder how they know of him. Turns out that at the same time that MST3K was starting out on Comedy Central, Steve Higgins was a writer/performer on the Comedy Central show "Higgins Boys and Gruber" which Joel Hodgson was involved with as well.

LEAVE THE BRONX.

IMDB 250 - 3 Idiots (2009)

3 Idiots (2009)

In this Indian film, three college students go on a series of misadventures but are opposed at every turn by the crusty dean who rules with an iron fist.

This movie is awful. If you took "Animal House" and took out everything about it that's good, it would be this movie. "Saved by the Bell" was more self-aware and nuanced. "Lizzy McGuire" was more subtle in its approach to humor. Most cartoons are more smartly written.

Speaking of cartoons, this movie wisely punctuates jokes with cartoon sound effects. Did someone drop their pants? SPROING! The stodgy dean of the college has slightly crossed eyes, a comical under-bite and speaks with a lisp. In case they haven't beat you over the head with the stupid humor enough, the director's overlayed it with loud, overbearing circus music to jam that message into your skull with a jackhammer. You know that Bollywood tradition of always having musical numbers in non-musical movies? They didn't forgo that particular custom. The music and dance sequences are so bad that even cast members of "Glee" would be embarrassed.

OK, so all that amounts to a bad movie. So what? Here's the part that put me over the edge.... it's 3 hours long. Someone somewhere actually thought this dumbed-down frat boy mess needed the David Lean treatment. I don't know how or why this movie got into the IMDB 250, but I don't want to know. I just sat through 3 hours of this tripe and I'm finally done with it.

3/10.
Total Top "250" Movies Seen: 367.

Movie Review: Love

Love (2011)

A lone man in an orbiting space station finds that communications from Earth have stopped. Without human contact, living in complete isolation, he slowly loses touch with reality.

This is very much in the vein of "Moon", "Solaris" (1972), "2001", etc. It's exploration of man's outermost space set against exploration of man's innermost space (the mind). It's a great "genre" in part because these are the two places where absolutely anything is possible. When the protagonist sees a future version of themself or dances with points of light, it can remain perfectly ambiguous to the viewer as to whether it's real or imaginary.

Filmed on an absolutely minimal budget, "Love" was made for about $500,000. Writer/Director William Eubank basically built a space station in his parents' back yard and filmed a single actor inside it. The amazing thing is how great it ends up looking and how well the small budget is concealed.

Mainly "Love" is about isolation (another thing it has in common with some of the above movies). From "Robinson Crusoe" to "Cast Away", it's a theme that's long held a great deal of fascination. But the title isn't ironic. One of the ways to see how central love is to humanity is to observe the effect on an individual when love is completely absent.

Like "Solaris", you should go into this movie only if you're in the mood for a slow pace. The number one criticism I've seen of this movie is that "it's boring" because "nothing happens". But it's a movie that explores total isolation. That's what it's like.

7/10.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Preston and Steve - Rantlers




Dave Matthews Band on Late Night - Christmas Song




Darlene Love on Letterman - Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)