This movie is 3 hours, 44 Minutes and 29 Seconds long. Feel free to stop reading the review now because that pretty much tells you all you need to know.
"Lagaan" is a movie about an Indian town in colonial times who challenges the Evil British to a game of cricket. If the villagers win (in a game they don't know anything about) they will not have to pay the back-breaking taxes levied on them. If they lose, they'll have to pay triple.
I say "The Evil British" because the movie makes sure to avoid all nuance and subtlety. The Good Guy is good all the time and is never not good. The Bad Guy is a mustache twirling baddy who has no redeeming qualities. In one of his first scenes, the main bad guy ("Captain Evil") meets a vegetarian and makes him eat meat. But it's against his religion, the man protests, and besides what does Captain Evil even get out of it? Nothing, but he's just pure evil and, as we need to keep the movie under 4 hours, he needs to be established as pure evil.
Following the Good Guy everywhere is the terrifically attractive Love Interest who makes her affections obvious. The Good Guy doesn't seem to notice or care. What is he thinking? Will they ever be together? Then mid-way through the movie he declares that he loves the Love Interest. Why did he not say anything before this? Because that wouldn't be contrived enough for this story.
Of course the movie ends with the climactic BIG GAME... The Big Game... of Cricket. In between song and dance numbers, the movie packs in every cliche from every terrible sports movie ever made by humans. Heightening the action slightly is that it's cricket and I have no idea what's going on. At the midway point of the match the score is 273-3 and it's not looking good for our heroes but there's always a chance that they'll make a miraculous comeback. And at that point in the movie, I knew I was nearing the end and looked at the time... still an hour left. Have you ever "neared" the end of a movie and there was still an entire hour left to go?! I have.
4/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 380.
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