Gilligan's Island - The Professor Can Make Radio; Can't Fix Boat.

"How come the Professor can make a radio out of coconuts but he can't fix a hole in a boat?"

It's the Second Great Question of "Gilligan's Island". It's the fallback of every lazy stand-up comedian ever. If you were living in the '80s, all you had to do was read this line in front of a brick wall at a comedy club and a gaggle of TV executives would carry you away, give you your own sitcom and shower you with piles of cash. If you added a "Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?" you were a superstar.

Though those glory days are long gone, the question rings down through the ages as one of the great unanswerable mysteries of life, the universe and everything. That is, until now. The question has an answer and I'm gonna tell you what it is and you're gonna sit there and listen, see! Mmrraaaah, see?

First things first, though. Although the question could be worded in any number of ways ("How come the Professor can make a generator out of coconuts...?", "How come the Professor can make a phonograph out of coconuts...?", and on and on) there appears to be a common agreement about the exact wording - "...make a radio...". In the incalculable fluctuations of human activity, this is slightly strange. But it's all the more puzzling when you consider the fact that the Professor never made a radio out of coconuts. He made a generator, he made a peddle car, he made a syringe, he made tons of stuff but he never made a radio. They only had one radio and it looked like this:

Ah, the good old Packard Bell AR-851. Not Pictured: telescoping antenna.

OK, OK, all of that is beside the point. The real question is: if he can make any complex invention, why can't he fix a stupid hole in a stupid boat?! The answer is simple: there is no boat.

In Season 1, Episode 8 - "Good-Bye Island" - Gilligan attempts to make pancake syrup. In the process of screwing it up, he discovers a plant-based waterproof glue that they can use to repair the hole in the boat. This they do and, in proper "Gilligan's Island" fashion, decide to give the whole boat a once-over, presumably to make it extra non-sinky.

As fate would have it, it turns out the glue is only temporary and loses its cohesive properties after a few days. In fact, it doesn't just lose its cohesive properties, like the chemicals we tend to find on planet Earth, it comes apart in such a way that basically causes the Minnow to explode. Board by solitary board. And so, from the eighth episode to the end of the series, the "boat" looks like this:

The S.S. Minnow: The Reality

And so you see, the Professor can not fix the boat because there's nothing to fix. There is no boat. Search your memory - can you think of a single time after the eighth episode where we ever see the castaways hanging by the boat, standing on the boat, pulling parts off the boat or do anything at all which causes us, the audience, to see the boat? Nope, neither can I. Never happened.

But even if there is no boat, perhaps the question could be: "If the Professor can make... why can't he  build a new boat?" Well, the building material of the island is bamboo and a boat made out of bamboo is usually called a raft and they did make a raft in a number of episodes throughout the series. See the individual episodes for the reasons why that didn't work (other than the fact that the writers of the show enjoyed their job and wanted the show to continue).

So the entire "Professor" question is BS. It's nonsense and the reasons why are in the show if you pay attention. So then why is it so widespread? Heck, almost half of the Professor's wikipedia article is dedicated to it. Sherwood Schwartz, the show's creator was asked about it his entire life and even he didn't have a good answer. Same with Bob Denver. Same with Russell Johnson. I think I know where the confusion is coming from. It might just come from the fact that they're showing this image at the beginning of Every. Single. Episode...

The S.S. Minnow: The Public Perception.

There's your problem. But then, that's not the only problem with the opening sequence. But that's another story...