Mr. T on Mr. Belvedere

 Mr. T on Mr. B?! How did I not see this sooner?! Well...

You may remember that one of the things I've complained about int the past is the confusion caused by imdb's categories for a person's credits. All the sitcoms and other fictional works are listed under the "Actor" category but Mr. T apparently plays himself on "Mr. Belvedere" so it's under the "Self" section. And that's where it got lost in the shuffle.

Mr. T is listed as being in the sixth episode of the sixth season, "Paper Mill." Wesley starts writing reports for other kids in return for money and favors but eventually learns a valuable lesson. Meanwhile, Mr. Belvedere has a stomach ulcer and struggles to modify his diet accordingly.

So I watched it... and it was a fairly interesting event for me because it just so happens I remembered this episode! I apparently was watching, and remember watching, it on November 11, 1989. Wow.

Hey, remember that other thing I've complained about is imdb's listings being inaccurate? Yeah, well here's Mr. T's "appearance" on the show.

The image quality ruins the obviousness a bit but in case you can't tell, it's Bob Uecker in a dream sequence. According to imdb this is the actual Mr. T, and don't you question it!

Brocktoon Update II

A while back I watched a life-changing episode of Mr. Belvedere where we all learned about the ravages of Alzheimer's Disease. Well hold on to your butts because there are yet more problems that need to be addressed in sitcom form. Namely, AIDS... It's time to talk about AIDS.

The episode begins with a comic relief subplot not related to the AIDS. Kevin is attempting to sew and having trouble with it (he keeps sticking his fingers with the needle). Between the sewing and the muffins he's baking in the oven his father starts to worry about his son's sexuality. Don't worry, he's just taking Home Ec. for an easy A. Now, am I just reading too much into this but does it strike anyone has strange that an episode about AIDS brings up both homosexuality and needles in the first few minutes? Is that irony? Is that some weird dark humor from the writers? Should I be offended? I'm so uncomfortable right now.

So anyways, it turns out Wesley's best friend has been pulled out of school because he has AIDS. [Note to writers: there are many ways to ham-fist a lesson into a TV show comedy, you don't necessarily need a cute little kid to get a death sentence.] Wesley doesn't know what AIDS is and reacts inappropriately. The parents of the show sit him down to drop some knowledge...

"Wes, AIDS is a disease and your friend is pretty sick."
[...]
"You're saying he might be sick for a whole week?"
[Here the parents, incompetently look to their butler to help]
Brocktoon: "Maybe two."
"Boy, no school! Lucky duck!"

At this point in the conversation Wesley runs away and the parents let him continue to live with misconceptions. What was the entire point of having the talk?! Why not clear up the misunderstanding, what else is more important for them to do at this point?

Oh well. Without proper guidance from his parents, Wesley goes to school and here's what the kids have to say. AIDS makes your arms fall off, AIDS is easy to catch, you can get it from touching, "A sixth-grader told me you can get it just by talking on the phone". I never even considered that one.

So, I'm going to fast forward to the end because this is getting too long and I still need to google whether AIDS can be transmitted via the phone. Wesley faces various challenges and eventually decides to do the right thing but now the President's Day Pageant at school is coming up and it's time to do something stupid.

While on stage as Abraham Lincoln, Wesley interrupts his own speech to bring his AIDS friend up on stage. Panic fills the room. Wesley tries to educate us but several kids come from backstage to yell at him. One of the parents stands up from the audience and tells their child to stay away from the kid with AIDS. And this is the scene that makes the episode worthy of the National Film Registry. This is the kind of uncomfortable that can't be replicated anywhere else in the world. The awkwardness goes to 11. And in case that scene isn't enough for you, it's followed up by a scene where Wesley and his friend discuss possibly putting together a bucket list of things to do. His friend tells him that he doesn't have enough time left to do the things he wants to do. That actually happens.

The episode ends, as every episode ends, with Mr. Belvedere writing in his diary. He says, "I suppose at this point I should write something profound about life and death. But you know something, I'm really not in the mood". Fade to black. That's it? OK? Uh, what? I think I just watched the writers give up. Oh, and then the credits go with the goofy regular theme song instead of the downtrodden version that the Alzheimer's episode got. I don't know what to read into that.

Mr. Belvedere Update

In this week's episode of "Mr. Belvedere", the writers decided to go dark. I mean, there's "a very special episode" dark and then there's "ALF's Christmas Special" dark. This was borderline "ALF's Christmas Special".

So, in the episode, Wesley is hanging out in an old folk's home. I don't know why, I missed the beginning. I'm guessing the reason he was there was that it was in the script. But then an old woman gives him money. Ok. But then the old woman accuses him of stealing the money. What's the deal?

It's time for a dramatic monologue from the special guest star. "I think I have Alzheimer's Disease.", she says but doesn't care to find out for sure. But then what happened with the money? Well, by accusing him of stealing, Wesley won't like her anymore and so won't have to suffer through her long, slow descent into madness and death. Yeah, it's much better to make a child feel guilty and give him the feeling that he let you down before you died.

Fortunately for little Wesley, this plan doesn't reach completion. Some time later, he finds out what she did and why and goes back to visit her in the home. Wesley's a really memorable guy, and love conquers all, so it's time for the happy ending that the 80s deserve. Wesley goes back to the home only to find that not only does she have no idea who he is, but she also isn't even able to function as a human being anymore. Time for Mr. Belvedere (Brocktoon) to take him home.

And that's it. Have fun, kids.

Well... technically, that isn't entirely true. The show still ends with Brocktoon writing in his diary and they have him looking particularly silly drinking tea out of one of those beer-dispensing plastic helmets. But it feels like an empty gesture and the credits roll to a dour rendition of the theme song with a particularly mournful clarinet. "We might just live the good life yet", I mean, that one old lady from the episode definitely won't but, you know, we might.