Once again, celebrating The Feast of St. Crispin, this time in the Year of Our Lord 2024. Last year I considered celebrating the Feast aspect. Not sure. Perhaps a Succulent Chinese Meal is in order. Probably not.
Now, soldiers, march away: And how thou pleasest, God, dispose the day.
Did you know there's an 80's romantic comedy with Aunt Becky and Keanu Reeves as the two leads? This was news to me.
In "The Night Before," a guy (Reeves) wakes up on the street in the bad part of town, with no memory of what's just happened. He seems to be disheveled, though wearing a tuxedo, and has no money and no car. How did he get here? Steadily, memories of the night's events come back to him. He's supposed to be at the prom with a date (Aunt Becky) who doesn't like him, she's dating him because she lost a bet. He recalls that he and his date took a series of wrong turns which lead them both to the ghetto where their innocence gets them into increasingly more trouble.
This is one of those comedies where things go from bad to worse, to even worse, up until the end where things magically end happily. This is "After Hours" meets "Judgment Night" meets "The Hangover." It's not bad but not my cup of tea. The main high point of the movie is that Keanu is still in his "Ted 'Theodore' Logan" phase of acting, which is just the best.
Are you really into tomatoes? Of course you are! That's why Midwest Gardener is here to shoot tomato recommendations straight to into your face! EXTREEEMMMEEE!
This post will contain spoilers for "American Chopper - The Last Ride."
"Pure fakery" is a bit strong perhaps. But it seems like a show in the "Curb" or "Spinal Tap" model where the scenes and situations are written but dialogue of each scene is improvised. When they were doing a series, you could imagine that cameras come into the shop 9 to 5 and, like security cameras picking up a bank robbery, are naturally there to capture a reality that includes moments of particular interest. Now, with a one-off special episode, it's clear that this is all made up. It seems that way. It must be that the only way cameras "happen" to be there to capture important moments is because it was all planned.
The situation of the episode is this: Paul Sr. and Paul Jr. have previously ruined their familial relationship because they were so combative in their professional relationship; now they want to get back in the old shop and see if they can build a bike together - they'll remember the good times and perhaps make amends and heal the damage done. Sr. agrees and, good news, he has a client lined up, a large construction company, looking to buy a bike themed around their corporate identity. Do you remember the old days when you were a kid and you'd get together with your dad and go into the garage and fulfill a corporate contract? Gee, this all sounds very reality-based. Perhaps I've overrated this series via my own nostalgia.
But then things take a twist.
Having agreed to build a bike together, Jr. finds that his father has already finalized the design and doesn't want to hear any suggestions. Jr. argues that it is pointless to work on a project "together" if the design is not a team effort. Suddenly, strangely, they are going back down the same road they've always gone down - increasingly heated discussions that one hopes are not leading to a fight. Suddenly there is real tension with real humans in real life. Sure, the situation may be setup, the location may be a plan but the people are real and the fear is real. For better or worse, they've instantly come back to what made the show great... and their lives miserable. This heat rises and culminates in a scene in which they each plead their case to the customer, essentially seeking a third-party ruling. They're airing their dirty laundry in public, and in a business meeting, but the mania of their urge to "win" is such that they can't stop. This is why the show was great, this scene is so intense and uncomfortable it eclipses anything on "The Office."
But, ok, the show was these two knuckleheads screaming at each other. But this is where things get interesting.
With Sr. still adamant that the basic design is final, Jr. relents. When Sr. decides that Jr. can't even make suggestions, Jr. accepts it. When Sr. goes behind Jr.'s back and redoes the small contributions that Jr. has made, Jr. doesn't mention it. The "father and son" build leads to Jr. working with Sr.'s underlings while Sr. attends to other matters - the show doesn't say what he's doing. Then, when Sr. finally shows up to "work" on the bike, Jr. greets him with a smile. The theme of the series was always two stubborn people butting heads over and over. not learning or changing, and growing further and further apart. After 20 years of this, now that the dad is 70 years old and the son nearly 50, someone has actually learned something... at least one person has progressed.
As the show and the series ends, we're served up the usual "happy ending" that's pure cognitive dissonance against the underlying reality. For the millionth time, there is the bike "unveil" - the customer is impressed by the soulless cookie-cutter bike in a style from 60 years ago. The audience has been robbed of seeing just one more crazy, unique OCC bike design. And a father has finally succeeded in stifling all of his son's creativity and individuality - finally getting the just-another-worker-in-the-shop drone that he's wanted for the entire run of the show. The contest is finally over and "villain" has won - and an entire room of people is applauding him for it. Says Junior, "The most important thing is: we got to spend time together... Any time that my father was focused on working on the bike... those were the moments that I walked away feeling like a million bucks about. That was it... It was the little things that... meant the most to me."
Junior has found the truth in all the cliches - life is short, you only get one father, make amends, let go of self. After so many lost years, he's living out the principle that "love does not insist on its own way." Is this a happy ending? A few more cliches: the damage is done, they're not getting those years back. Is it a "happy ending" when among two grown men, only one of them has changed, has learned anything, and even that one thing took several decades of strife? Consider the nature of man and the world around you and decide for yourself whether any better ending is probable... or possible. That's what separates reality TV from real life.
Was watching "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" (the second in the series, in case you forget) and noted this imdb trivia:
Rob Lowe (Young Number Two) and Michael McDonald (N.A.T.O. Soldier) appeared uncredited in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) as different characters from this movie. Lowe appeared in the scene where a group of friends waiting at a henchman's bachelor party hear of his death. A similar scene showed McDonald's family being informed of his death.
In case it's not clear, they're saying it's strange that Rob Lowe has a part in Austin Powers 2 because he already played a different role in Austin Powers 1. The only problem is, I know the movie pretty well and I was pretty sure that scene doesn't exist.
The answer to the riddle is that it does exist, in the international version, not in the American version. It was deleted for time, or so I've read. If you're like me and never heard of this scene in your life, here it is:
