Dave Letterman Hosts The Starland Vocal Band Show

 Don't watch this unless you want to watch something dull.

For some reason there was an entire TV show based solely on The Starland Vocal Band. Surprisingly, it only lasted for 6 episodes in the summer of 1977. But even more surprisingly (and more notably) one of the writers, and the host of the show, was David Letterman.

In 1977, The Starland Vocal Band had one hit with "Afternoon Delight" which you probably only remember from "Anchorman." Having accomplished the feat of a #1 hit on the radio, which presumably no one had accomplished before, the Universe took the natural next step and decided they should have a TV show. I mean, just look at the frontman of the group, he has charisma and star power:

Rock Star or the dad on ALF? You decide.

This is when network television was at the height of its powers. There was no cable, no internet, no podcasts, and I presume (since it was the 70s) that no one was reading books. This is the time when it should have been the most impossible to get a TV show and yet they were throwing them out to passersby, seemingly. To quote the MST3K episode "Riding with Death," "Whatever, I don't get the 70s."

The show consists of a ton of TSVB live performances of songs you've never heard of. I give them full credit for that - they committed to the premise. But in between, there are non-sequitur "skits" and "comedy." That's where David Letterman comes in - Dave and Jeff Altman and a few others. You can see a few of the seeds that would eventually grow to become Dave's legendary career but - I'll be honest here - the "comedy" is mostly, almost entirely horrific.

The comedy is so bad, I don't have the will to explain it. If you're brave enough to want a quick gauge,  here is the best comedy piece of the entire run of the show (keep expectations low). And here is a comedy piece to represent the average or the worst, they're kind of the same thing. You know you're in trouble when the slogan of the show is "It's a Sunday night, what do you got to do, anyway?"

To top it all off, Mark Russell is in this show and he's a regular. What is Mark Russell doing in this show? I suppose it's unlikely anyone reading this in Current Year knows who Mark Russell is. He's a comedian who made a career of doing safe political song "parodies," mostly on PBS. This will give you the idea.

The Starland Vocal Band never replicated the success of "Afternoon Delight." The band was made up of two married couples and both couples divorced in the early 80s. The divorce rate of celebrities is so depressing. In Episode 5 of the show, Letterman suggests the two women of the band break off and start their own group which is a little strange considering that that sort of came true - the band is broken up and, according to imdb, the two women of the group still write music together. Also, according to wikipedia, April Kelly was a writer on this show and she would go on to co-create "Boy Meets World."

Ok, I don't get the 70s, but I'm going to give my best effort. I was recently watching some old MTV solely for the sake of time travel. [Someone uploaded to Rumble a 6 hour recording of MTV from 1986, if that kind of thing interests you. Actually, that's the bigger story here, why am I wasting my time on this garbage?] Anyways, before MTV perhaps there was a huge pent-up demand for popular music on television, perhaps the ridiculous nature of the show is simply an attempt to fill that demand. Perhaps it only seems strange because I'm removed from that time and don't know what it's like. But still, the Starland Vocal Band?

Exploring the Variety and Science of Chocolate

 A video explains how the taste of chocolate can vary wildly according to a dizzying array of factors.

Having watched this video, I tried my own investigation.

The woman recommends Nicaraguan, so I tried that first. The first bar's "flavor profile" reads thusly:

Argencove - "Cocibolca" Nicaragua 70% Dark Chocolate - Smooth texture, flavor notes of cardamom, Turkish coffee, cherry, and brown sugar with a mild tobacco finish.

Now, for some reason, when I read that description as well as the descriptions depicted in the video, I was kind of ignoring them. I was hearing what they were saying but not really listening. I suppose the years of watching wine connoisseurs saying that a wine has "hints of almond and orange peels," I've become numb to it, thinking it's just hot air. But no, that description of having a "mild tobacco finish" is absolutely true, it really does taste like tobacco... and it's disgusting.

The second and third bars:

"Delicate citrus character, not too bitter, well-balance dark chocolate with a smooth and creamy melt."

"Ripe fruits, raisin and cranberry, with a peppery body and blackberry finish."

And they're accurate. The video is 100% accurate that the flavor of chocolate can and does vary wildly. And, again, the thing is, I don't like it. Maybe I'm a simpleton, maybe I'm the dumb American but the "corporation chocolate" that made chocolate standardized and homogenized tastes better to me than the boutique chocolate.

But there is another aspect of the video to explore. Though the host recommends Nicaragua, the general consensus of the people in the video is that the star of chocolate is the Philippines. So it's time for Phillipino chocolate...

Puchero 75% Philippines Nibs "Paquibato" Dark Chocolate Bar - Tasting notes: Lightly roasted nuts, ripe banana.

More attempts may be on the way but I think I know how this is going to go... The video is accurate: the flavor does vary from your standard chocolate and it is an improvement on Nicaragua. But still, it's different but not better, "normal" "boring" chocolate tastes much better to me.

The research is ongoing but two more data points.

Coming back to the "corporate, boring" chocolate world, I have heard some say that the best chocolate is Swiss chocolate and some have said Belgian is the best, so I'll try some of those some time if I can. And if you want to know my ideal, the best chocolate in my opinion is still French - Truffles by Mathez. Fantastic.

Late Show - Barbara Gaines Favorite Moments (2)

 

Barbara "Box of Parts" Gaines.

One Week of Paul Blart

 

I have never seen "Paul Blart Mall Cop" and no nearly nothing about it. Have I made a mistake? Further, is it so good as to warrant 7 viewings? We shall see.

The First Plinko and Etc.

In a previous post, "Various TV Series Online," I spread the good news that the entire "Joy of Painting" series with Bob Ross was on Amazon. I thought that this was so singular and special it never occurred to me to check my assumptions. It turns out that the entire series is also on youtube and has been for a few years without me knowing.

They also have new shows (different painter), a podcast (not sure what it is and how that makes sense)  and are currently doing a Memorial Day Marathon, which you can be just in time for.

In that same previous post I speculated about the future of "The Price is Right" coming to streaming. I should have also checked those assumptions - I think I was looking at Amazon at the time - because there is an official "The Price is Right - The Barker Era" youtube channel. The only hitch is that it's a highlights channel and not full episodes.

So with that in mind, here is the first ever game of Plinko:

I may be wrong but it seems like an excessive amount of explanation for such a simple premise. And it really feels like Bob's trying to sell it, like it's a failing game that needs help.

This Is My Milwaukee

 

A marketing video inviting you to visit Milwaukee.

Actually it's pronounced "Mil-ee-wawk-ay" which is Algonquin for "the good land."