The Joys of the Middling 90s Song

Psychological studies have indicated (or suggested) that you can change a memory merely by accessing it. It is possible that my current memory of being 6 years old, for instance, is not just my exeperience of that time but my experience plus my remembering it when I was 10, plus my remembering it when I was 20, 30, etc.

One of the best ways to become nostalgic for a place or time is to listen to the music that corresponds to it, but the above suggests that ironically you don't remember the 80s (for instance) best by the big 80s hits because you've been hearing those hits ever since. What you would ideally want is a great song that was everywhere at that time but that hasn't made it into constant hit rotation (by you, the radio, or anywhere else). It's a tall order. I can't think of any.

But failing that, the next best thing is a moderate hit or a song that was never a hit, that was very much of its time but you haven't heard even a single time since then.

The above music video is very enjoyable and I suppose it's because it somewhat fits the criteria. It's also just an earworm. On its face, it's a simple song, perhaps even a braindead simple song. But what I like about it is that it's very slyly constantly changing all the time - new elements are introduced, new instruments, additional melodies. Not that being braindead simple is necessarily a bad thing anyway, that's one of the distinguishing features of the 90s.

I expect the young people in Current Year, will react completely differently to the lyrics. Back when the song was released, a phone was just for phone calls.

Oh, and one more thing, if you're like me and you're wondering what happened to the "I miss the rising action... but it rocks" part, you're thinking of this. Very tricky.

Conan O'Brien Must Go Trailer

 

A sneak peak at Conan's new show set to air on HBO Max. The series is set to run for a full four episodes. Wow.

Is the title "Conan O'Brien Must Go" a play on the documentary "Conan O'Brien Can't Stop?" Who cares!

Just in Time for the Weekend - Meredith Monk's Turtle Dreams

 It's the weekend - time to open a cold brew, put on shorts and crank up some Meridith Monk jams. Good thing, then, that "Turtle Dreams" is now available on youtube.

"Is that Freedom Rock? TURN IT UP!"

How To Open a Jar

 

This Never Happened

In the 1980s, every sitcom had a scene where a strong man tries to open a glass jar to no avail only to be followed by a slight woman who would then open it easily, to great surprise and applause. Every sitcom did it. They had to. I believe it was actually legally required, signed into law by Reagan though I can't officially back that up with paperwork.

Not willing to ascribe this trend as mere fancy (if 80s sitcoms be not truth, then what is life?), I've thought very hard about how this could be explained - very hard, I should have been working - how it could be true, and come up with a not entirely implausible working theory.

First let's start with the evidence we have from one of the sitcoms - a data point, if you will. In the scene from <DELETED>, the source of the screenshot above, the slight woman accomplishes her task through a specific technique. She puts her ear to the jar, shakes it, listens to the sound, hits it from the bottom in just the right way (presumably using the audio data just obtained) and then opens it easily in the usual twisting manner. And if any man should wish to prove how this sequence of events may add up to a cogent explanation, let him write a blog, he is a wiser man than myself.

I can't make that work but here's how I think it could work, generally.

The muscular man, expending all his might, hunkers down, gripping the jar lid like Eleazar's sword. But a great proportion of his strength going toward firm grip, he works against himself to his own detriment. The tight grip has the effect of squeezing the lid, increasing the friction between the lid and the jar rim. The rotational force, though significant, is not greater than the resistance his own grip is creating - the two are cancelling each other out and he can no wise get relief.

And now you can guess what happens with the slight woman. Not having an iron grip, there is less friction in the lid and then a lesser strength will open the jar, paradoxical though it may seem.

This is all only theory, of course. Being lazy and unlearned, I have done 0 experiments, gathered no data and haven't done so much as glanced at an equation. And, of course, Mythbusters is not answering my letters. But it does make sense and I posit it as likely an answer to a well-worn riddle as you'll find anywhere.

And so the lesson is this: the race is not to the swift, nor to the battle to the strong... When opening hard-to-open jars, apply the maximum torque while applying the least possible grip necessary for the task.

Forget the Cute Dog, Watermelon Jam is a Thing?!

 Someone on reddit posted this picture with the title that indicated that it was watermelon jam.

For my response, see the title of this post.

Yes, it exists. I found it on Amazon.

It's good, it tastes like candy but I realize now that that can be said of any jam, really.

Late Show - Writers Carter Bays and Craig Thomas

 Not only does this video feature yet more Pat and Kenny, it also features a giant helping of Big Red.