Amazon Delivery Guy Gets Artsy with the Delivery Photo

Recently my neighbors recently decided to cut down all the trees that lined the boundary of our yards. Were they damaged, were they ugly? No, they were quite lovely. And then one day a crew is outside taking them out. Was I consulted for my opinion? No, the point is we need stumps. Stumps are the key, stumps are life. Our yards are now separated by stumps and lifeless dirt.

But this is all backstory to what took place next.

I ordered new bed sheets on Amazon. As you're probably aware, Amazon's new thing is to confirm that the package was delivered by taking a photo of the box on your doorstep. If someone in the neighborhood steals your package and you say it never arrived, hey, look at this photo, it is visual proof that we delivered it - it arrived.

So the delivery guy who delivered my sheets decided to "pose" (I can't think of a better word) the package next to one of my new stumps. Like so:

If the stump had been anywhere approximating a good delivery spot, this would be fine, as far as it goes, I'd still question why it's positioned that way but it would be fine. But this is not the case. The stump photo is far, far away from the door - yet the door IS where I found my package eventually. Here's a map of the difference:

So here is the reality as I understand it. And I apologize for how ridiculous this sounds. A delivery guy, instead of taking the package to the porch and leaving it, takes it over to a tree stump and sets the package down next to the stump and takes a photo of it.... with the stump. Then he carries it back to the porch and leaves it by the door.

Why? Why any of this? Are the delivery people getting bored? Is he taking up photography as a hobby and he wanted to make it more artsy? Is so, I have to say the result is not very good (rule of thirds and all that). I don't get it, I can't fathom what kind of plot this is. I'm so confused and at this point I'm motivated to order more things from Amazon just to see what happens.

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Slaughter's Big Rip-Off

I've hit a Blaxsploitation pocket in my current movie queue and "Slaughter's Big Rip-Off" has come up.

On paper, it's the perfect movie - it stars Jim Brown, James brown did the score, a car goes over a cliff with the hero in it and he survives without injury... and in the first scene an airplane with a machine gun swoops down and shoots Punky Brewster's dad in the head. But that's not why you called. The most fascinating aspect of the movie is that the powerful white villain is played by Ed McMahon. Yes, that Ed McMahon.

And the thing is, he's pretty believable. He has the 80s Mad glasses, a suit, he yells at his underlings and he's a convincing Bad Boss Man. He reminds me of Frank Rizzo. Of course, looking at the picture above, he also looks like Cameron Mitchell.

In the end, it doesn't work out for him. He tries to defeat Slaughter by giving him 3 ½ stars instead of 3 ¾ stars and Slaughter guns him down with a machine gun.

And I should re-iterate that it's a perfect movie on paper. In actuality it's pretty average fare.