Remembering Norm Macdonald

The thing I alluded to before is now on youtube. I recommended it before, there's no excuse now.

Game Grumps - Animal Soccer World

 

STOP INTRODUCING NEW CHARACTERS, I CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF THEM ALL!

Month #9 - South America Snacks

In our world tour of snacks, we come now to the nation of South America. 

As always, before getting into the snacks, here are some random facts and trivia.

The tallest water slide in the world is in Redona, Brazil. It's 163 feet tall and sliders (riders?) can reach 57 mph.

When the Peruvian football (soccer) team qualified for the World Cup in 2017, they were so excited, their jumping up and down registered as an earthquake.

There are no doorbells in Paraguay and knocking the door is considered rude. To alert someone that you're at the door, you're supposed to clap.

Rainbow Mountain in Cusco, Peru:

Hand of the Desert in Antofagasta, Chile:

And now, the snacks...

1) Supercoco - Barra Con Cereal

Country of Origin: Colombia

Review:

As you can tell, we're starting off with a granola bar ("bar of cereal"). And an excellent, rice crispie-based, focusing-on-flavor-rather-than-health, granola bar it is! There is also a caramel-type substance which I guess is where the coconut is located.

It's been a long time since I had granola bars so my ability to judge is impaired. It seemed to me, from my memory, that Nature Valley Oats and Honey was the standard against which all other granola is judged and this is right up there - as good or better, possibly. Oh, and on the less healthy side, the Quaker ones with chocolate chips in them were awesome. I miss them.

And on that note, here's the Jim Gaffigan bit about the corruption of Granola Bars.

2) Bianchi - Choco Snacks - Cookies and Cream

Country of Origin: Colombia

Review:

These are pretty great. 

They're cookie-ish globs of white stuff - I didn't get a photo because I was too busy eating them. There's no doubt that there's nothing approaching "nutrition" anywhere in it. Also there is a slightly "off" flavor somewhere in there but it's generally so close to the desired flavor that they're irresistible. 

Would the ice cream be better? Yes. Is this a great portable ice cream alternative? Sure.

3) Plum Cake with Vanilla Yogurt

Country of Origin: Argentina

Review:

I looked at that packaging and said to myself, "This is going to be some country's version of Twinkies." Especially when it says "with Vanilla Yogurt" you know that's just cream filling. But, no.

This is a small vanilla-y cake. It's light, sweet, moist... it's like an angel food cake. And that's it. No twist, nothing else, just cake.

So, it's good but I don't have anything to say. No need to go to Argentina to taste cake like this.

4) Delecitos - Sabor Pimenta

Country of Origin: Brazil

Review:

I think I am as undecided on these as any snack in the history of snacks.

These are crunchy, hollow wheat snacks that have a hint of spice (being pepper flavored). This is not going to help anyone but they remind me a lot of pizza flavored chip-like snacks that I at a long time ago. Those snacks tried to simulate a doughy taste to act as the pizza dough and these taste very similar.

As I was eating them, I would constantly facilate between "these are awesome" and "these are average." There is no in between. So I don't know and that's my review.

The back of the package advertises other flavors (my translation): "Onion and Salsa," "Pizza," "Beef or Grilled Meat (Churrasco)," "Calabrian Pepper," and "Queso." Given my Pizza snack musing, I may try that one.

5) Plantain Chips - Lemon

Country of Origin: Ecuador

Review:

I went into this bag with high expectations. I like banana chips enough, I assumed plantain chips would be along the same lines - perhaps sweeter, even. I was wrong. The small print says "Lemon" but it honestly doesn't taste like lemon either.

These taste like dried plantain chips with loads of salt and vinegar, to me. That's right: salt and vinegar plantain chips. Not the worst thing I've tasted, they are edible, but I'm not a fan - and it could have been really good; it had a chance.

6) Bon Bon Bum - Passion Fruit

Country of Origin: Columbia

Review:

At first glance, this looks exactly like a Charms Blow Pop - and that might not be a coincidence. But also at first glance (Glance 1.A) you will see there are black dots, like insects, implanted beneath the surface. Have you ever had a lollipop with seeds before? That alone was worth the price of admission. I was half expecting them to be real seeds but I think they're just lollipop material painted black.

And, I should note, that we have once again encountered the term "Bon Bon" for another seemingly unrelated item.

So anyways, these are pretty good. They are positively bursting with passion fruit flavor. And the Blow Pop Connection: there is gum in the middle. There really isn't much gum but it's been a while since I had a Blow Pop, perhaps they're equal. A nice throwback to my childhood though with an interesting twist.

---

It's unfair to compare this batch, which is comprised of 4 countries, with other batches which were each one, but overall it was good. Nothing crazy, nothing awful. See you next month.

Re:View - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Jay watches "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" for the first time and I am there for it. Or is it "here for it." What's the millennial clickbait wording? I don't remember these things. 

My review of this movie from 2012 here. I don't really have any update to it. The "infectious" line is true, it really grows on me. And I emphasize the score... more specifically, "The Ecstacy of Gold" has become one of my favorite songs in any movie.

Checking in with Jordan Schlansky

 

Conan catches up with Jordan but we really only cover looks and appearance. Did I say 90%, I mean 100%.

Game Grumps - Internet Cafe Simulator 2

 

The Grumps are playing "Internet Cafe Simulator 2" and Arin's buckling under the stress.

Ask Max (1986) and its Place in the BMX Movie Pantheon

Somewhere on the internet someone suggested that there was this movie, "Ask Max," about a kid who invents a bike that can jump by the press of a button. This sparked my memory as something I had seen...

The movie stars Chunk from "The Goonies" as the kid inventor and aired as a Disney made-for-tv movie in November of 1986. It has a super-rare running time of 44 minutes, which turns out to be a great length for a children's movie, in my opinion.

The story is a standard setup which launches a somewhat unconventional story. Max is a kid inventor who's unrealistically smart but his inventions are always getting him into trouble. Max is also bullied by the jocks and has his eye on the prettiest girl in school. He's also fatherless which isn't explained and his mom sometimes has trouble paying the bills.

So he invents a bikes that's super rad because it does sweet jumps over cars and stuff.

So this is where things turn. In order to help his mom with the bills, he sells his bike invention to a major corporation and he includes in the contract that he gets to be on the Board of Directors. So you can imagine it's a slight oddity that this Disney movie... meant for kids... then turns its attention away from the sweet BMX bike in order to have discussions on breech of contract, gross profits, product lines and layoffs.

Then, with his newfound money, the story becomes a Richie Rich/Blank Check story, as a kid is suddenly able to buy anything he wants. Then, the story returns back to the corporate world as Max tries to save a plant from being shut down.

Nothing about the movie sparked any memory whatsoever except for the idea of a bike that jumps automatically, which, strangely, accounts for a very minor amount of running time. It feels like the bike that jumps is featured for 5 minutes before getting to the real meat of corporate greed. Still, assuming there isn't a second movie with this exact plot device, I am left to assume that this is the movie I remember from childhood.

So, if you're having trouble keeping track, here is the rundown:

• "Rad" is a movie about a high-school kid who races against the pros in a BMX race. It features Ray Walston.
• "Ask Max" is a movie about a little kid who builds a BMX bike that can jump. It features Ray Walston.
• "The Dirt Bike Kid" is a movie about a little kid who gets a magical dirt bike that can fly.
• "The Skateboard Kid" is a movie about a little kid who gets a magical skateboard that can fly (and talk).
• "BMX Bandits" is a movie I've never seen.

Mike and Rich Play Super VHS: The RLM Video Game

 

The title says it all.

Film Flam - Watching Earthquake (1974)

 

Remember: Universal has given "Earthquake" its MAXIMUM EFFORT.

LetsGameItOut - Raft

You gotta respect a tornado raft that goes through locked doors.

RalphTheMovieMaker Plays RedLetterMedia VR

 Sounds like title gore, I know, but it's a real sentence that makes sense in this world.

These are things I know!

Game Grumps - Crazy Plane Landing

 

This game doesn't do anything for me, but you know what? I'm happy that they're happy.

Rad Pitt

 

Who is that Pitt? What studio's he with? What do you mean you don't know, it's your job to know; find out kchhhf!

JonTron - Gaming Compounds

 

I don't understand eSports, I don't know what a gaming compound is, I don't know what 100 Thieves denotes, I am lost. Funny video though.

There is a Christmas Version of the Macarena

 Do you need me to tell you it's an abomination? How long can you listen?

To quote Norm Macdonald, "Happy birthday, Jesus! Hope you like crap!"

The First 2 Hours of MTV's Existence

 

MTV premiered August 1, 1981 - I missed the anniversary by 1 day - and you can now watch the first two hours ever broadcast on that channel, on youtube.

1981 is before my time and this is not my kind of music but it's still a quaint and interesting artifact, interesting enough for me to bother watching it.

A lot of people complain how MTV doesn't show music anymore - I was one of them. But I've finally reached the acceptance stage of grief and don't really care. I've reached the even more depressing conclusion that an MTV that showed music videos could never succeed today - everything is on-demand on the internet and no one has the patience to sit through any song that they don't like. In some ways this is progress, in some ways we're breaking down.