Half in the Bag Has Ended?

 

1. They don't talk about a movie.

2. They alter the space-time continuum.

3. The video description is "An epic conclusion to a below average story line."

Is this the end of the show? There is an out, as "story line" could just mean the latest story line but if I had to guess, I'd say it's the end of the show.

Game Grumps - Trombone Champ

 

Is this, as the youtube title suggests, the funniest game on planet Earth? No. But it is funny enough to post on the old blog.

Family Feud - Batman vs. Gilligan's Island

 

"Batman" + "Hogan's Heroes" + "Gilligan's Island"? What is this, a dream?

I've always found the Richard Dawson kissing the women thing to be so creepy. It's either totally creepy or I'm just really jealous.

It seems odd to have a "Gilligan's Island" team without Gilligan.

Month #12 - Italy Snacks

 This is the 12th and final month and this month is Italy. Italy is pretty well known for its cuisine so this could be interesting. First some trivia:

• The Colossus statue in Florence, in addition to being amazing, has secret rooms. There is a fireplace in the head that, when lit, fills the nostrils with smoke.

• Tomatoes, being products of the new world, were not always used in Italian dishes. Italian pasta was originally topped with honey.
• There were fast food restaurants in ancient Rome. Thermopolia would line a counter with jarred meals for sale. The counters would sometimes be painted with frescoes of available food, acting as the menu.
• Italy produces more wine than any other country - 25% of the wine produced globally. 

And now for the snacks...

1. Amica Snack - Pizza

Review:

Nothing crazy here. These have the feel and texture of cheese puffs but they're rings and not American cheese flavored. There is a slight cheese flavor but it's within a general pizza flavor. And that's about it - cheese puffs that taste slightly like pizza.

They're not bad, they're not great... they're fine. If I'm going to eat saturated fat chemicals, I'll still prefer cheese puffs.

2. Amarettini Crisp Almond Cookies

Review:

These are pretty much what you would expect except for one surprise. You look at that label and you imagine cookies the size of, well, cookies. But these are the size of cookie crisp cereal. The texture is about the same also.

This is the second or third time there was an almond flavored snack that I thought tasted like cherries. And although I can't help thinking it, it's really the other way around. When you buy cheap imitation maraschino cherries, they are often made with almond flavor. But, to me, that's "cherry" flavor all the way, never "almond."

So if you like the taste of maraschino cherry in a cookie, these are for you. Aside from that, I don't have too much to say. I'm not a big cookie guy anyway. The quantity you get is pretty good also.

3. Amica Chips - Paprika

Review:

Who goes to Italy to get potato chips? I mean, honestly.

Well these are pretty good but there is a slight surprise. The flavor called "paprika" tastes almost exactly like Herr's Barbeque flavor chips. Almost exactly. If we are to believe the Italians that this is real paprika flavor then Herr's conception of "barbeque" is 99% paprika. I don't know who to believe!

So, yeah, these are very good but they're pointless since you can just buy the local product.

4. Nocciolato Novi

Review:

This is a chocolate bar with hazelnuts. The chocolate is super smooth (perhaps too smooth) but doesn't have a great flavor. The hazelnuts are good. That's it. Wouldn't recommend it. It's a good thing these reviews don't have a minimum character count. What can I say?

5. Moretta

Review:

Moretta... Sweet Loretta Fan, she thought she was a cleaner but she was a frying pan... the picker! Picture the fingers, greh... okay.

These are two chocolate cake squares sandwiching vanilla cream, all coated in chocolate. It's good, probably the best thing in this batch. Still, it's not so much better or so different from a Yodel or a Tastykake.

---

So this is how the year of monthly snacks ends - not with a bang but with a whimper. Look, I know Italian snacks in a potato chip bag are a completely different thing from stepping into a restaurant in Rome but I still expected more from Italy. Where are the confectionary delights? Where are the fancy treats? At what point do I yell "mangia!" to the imaginary person with me? Oh well.

Well, it's been a fun ride. The year is over, thanks for joining me on this long, strange trip. If you would like to buy a year of foreign snacks for yourself or as a gift, the service I used was universalyums.com. Though it was given to me as a gift, I'd recommend them - everything was delivered regularly, there's a nice variety of foods and nothing arrived damaged. Check them out if you wish.

WATP - Harrison Young and Nick Payne

 

Who Are These Podcasts? looks at the public access show of Harrison Young who is still on the air in 2022. Then they go down the rabbit hole on Nick Payne (XXII) who is simultaneously a sibling and a spouse of the Kardashians.

The Mystery of the Most Popular Baywatch Nights Episode

 Almost all the episodes of "Baywatch Nights" are on youtube. Below I've charted each episode's views. 

You can probably see there is a general trend with some general fluctuation. The views for the first episode are high (204K views) - people checking out the show - then a general drift downward as people give up. The views of the first season generally drift around 100K to 200K and in the second season they drop to 50K. The sci-fi season is not as viewed as the beach babe season. You can ignore the 0 at Season 2 Episode 17, that episode simply doesn't exist on youtube. Then there is an uptick as people look to see how it ends (70K) and are presumably disappointed.

So that's the general trend, not too different from other shows, but you've probably noticed, as I have, one giant, obvious spike in the graph and that's the mystery I wanted to explore.

While the general average for an episode is 50K to 100K, Season 1 Episode 16 is sitting at 1.3 MILLION views - more than 3X the episode in second place and more than 13X the average.

So what's special about this episode? Episode 17 is entitled "The Curator" the plot is summed up as follows:

A deranged man, named Garth Youngblood, takes a fancy to Baywatch lifeguard Caroline Holden and makes many advances toward her. When Caroline resists, Garth captures her and locks her in a cage furnished like her apartment, while Mitch teams with fellow Baywatch lifeguards, Newman and Barnett, to help him and Garner look for Caroline.

The reference to Caroline Holden is significant. This is the era where, according to my theory, they were trying to raise the ratings by getting Baywatch crossover - Caroline Holden is Yasmine Bleeth making a guest appearance. It's a bummer of an episode - probably one of my least favorite, as I hate all media that focuses on a crazy guy terrorizing normal people. So, I hate it, so what explain the spike in viewership?

Well, first let's remember that this is Youtube views, not TV ratings, so the #1 thing to go to is the title and thumbnail:

"Kit, get me outta here."

The thumbnail is Hasselhoff on the phone and the title is "Baywatch Nights 1x16 - Curator.avi" That's clearly not viral material. Another option is perhaps there's some other video reviewing/skewering this episode that went viral and got people watching. There is a youtube show/podcast that goes through Baywatch Nights episodes ("Baywatching" - a great title and a great concept) but their related episode is only at 38K views so that's clearly not the catalyst.

Another place to look for clues is imdb trivia. There is always the possibility that the episode has someone famous in the background or a child actor that grew up to be a big star; perhaps there is a clip or moment that became a meme; perhaps this was the one episode written by Vince Gilligan, etc. But imdb reveals nada.

The only thing that I can find that makes this episode special is the one and only guest appearance by Yasmine Bleeth. But does that really explain it? Other episodes of Nights have similar cameos with no spike, even the episode with Carmen Electra raunching it up has no increase. In 2022, are there hordes of people still slavishly hunting down Yasmine Bleeth roles?

I'm very skeptical and still, I can come up with no better explanation to explain the mystery of "Baywatch Nights'" most viral episode.

Back to the Future War

 

And here I thought it would be a mashup of "Back to the Future" and "Future War."

Snow Removal Videos

 

Although Snow Removal videos have a much more limited supply and probably a more limited demand than Pressure Washing or Lawn Care, etc. I do find them to be in that same category of "there's something oddly satisfying and hypnotic about this."

Popcorn in Bed - The Great Escape

An absolute classic.

Re:View - The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

When I was a kid there was a certain restaurant that sold Garbage Pail Kids and had a few arcade games and a pinball machine. I remember going there for breakfast and getting a quarter to play the arcade or getting money to buy Garbage Pail Kids. It was so much fun, so exciting.

So that's my memory of GPK. Now the movie on the other hand, I think I was unofficially not allowed to see it. At least that's my memory. So I have no nostalgic connection to the movie whatsoever.

The association of the He-Man movie and this movie is apt. They were both about things that I was obsessed with as a kid but I didn't see either movie until well after the magic had passed. And when I did see these movies, I was still excited for them but subtly or subconsciously aware that they weren't great.

I have The Garbage Pail Kids Movie officially rated as 2/10, which is extremely rare for me. I can't remember the last movie I rated so low. It's almost like it was their goal to make a movie with no redeeming qualities, for some reason. Yeah, I don't get it.

Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street

 

The Cortland Apple - A Review

 In our last installment, "The SweeTango Apple - A Review," I noted that the lowest rated apple was the Newtown Pippin Apple and stated that I would try to find one. I still haven't found any, nor have I found the second-lowest rated apple. Ah, but the third-lowest rated apple is the Cortland Apple, which was readily available and purchased by me.

The AppleRankings review for Cortland describes it as a "damp hacky sack left outside a frat house all winter..." And we have a problem.

Tasting the Cortland Apple and... I love it. It's great! While I'm not an expert, I have had a fair amount of different varieties of apple, I have disliked a great many of them and I find the Cortland has to be one of my favorites. It's super sweet and "appley." I'm trying to figure out exactly what AppleRankings had a problem with. The apples I got were ultra-soft - so if crispness is a criteria, I can see them knocking these. But I reject crispness as a criteria. If apples need to be hard, we need to write off all apple sauce and I am not prepared to do that.

Apples are famously inexact. I'm not willing to guess that AppleRankings got a bad batch - I think they're doing multiple samples to ensure accuracy. But I'm willing to allow the possibility that I got a particularly good batch. Still, the Red Delicious has an overall score of 25 and there is simply no way therefore, that the Cortland deserves to be 1 lower at 24 when it's so superior. 

My world has changed forever. I have to wonder... if AppleRankings is wrong about their apple rankings, what else could they be wrong about?

Late Night - Spike Feresten's Favorite Moments

 Continuing the Writers' Favorite Moments series:

Spike Feresten hosted his own talk show on Fox. It was very good but didn't last long.