Merry Christmas

Conan participates in the office "secret Santa":


The return of Minty, the candy cane that fell on the ground:

Jay Thomas tells the famous Lone Ranger story (now enhanced with a dramatic reenactment):

Darlene Love performs "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)":

Merry Christmas.

Holiday Tips From Stephon

Stephon is back with his tips for tourists spending Christmas in New York City:



It seems Spud Webb is really in demand these days.

Classic Conan Callback, "Clutch Cargo" Confuses Crappy Crowd

THIS IS GONNA BE HUGE, CONAN. Like "Triumph" yet another classic bit has returned on Conan's new show. Again, I am baffled as to how the bit isn't intellectual property of NBC. It's wonderful but it's still puzzling.

Anyways, the classic piece returns and when such a Conan cornerstone unexpectedly comes back from the dead - after a hiatus of literally YEARS (I think) - I would have expected the audience to go crazy. I'd of expected the joy and surprise to overflow forcing the show to pause and wait for the 10 minute standing ovation to subside. Instead, the audience seems to not understand what's going on and, more than anything, they seemed confused.

Loved to see it. Hopefully it's back for good.

Conan - Spaderbating

Spaderbating? In this clip, Conan explains the new fad that's sweeping the 80's.

Head Swap! - Thanksgiving Edition

It's time once again for the smart, hip, biting satire that is ... Head Swap!

The Doors - Reading Rainbow

Underscoring the unpredictable nature of late night television, the Doors stopped by Late Night to reunite and perform live for the first time in four decades.

Legend has it that Jimmy Fallon asked them to change the lyric "I can go twice as high" to "I can go twice as far". Morrison initially agreed but, when it came time for the live performance, sang the taboo version. Jimmy was so angry, he vowed to never have them back.

Take Me Home... Take Me Away

This cover of Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight" is awesome. It's SO awesome that I've never made it through the whole thing. Is this a joke? Is it serious? Is the dad Neil Young? Why does his bullet wound have a fluorescent glow? If the set of notes contained in the original don't intersect with the set of notes in the cover, can it truly be said to be a cover? Have we reached the very limits of auto-tuning technology? Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one?!

Get caught up in the magic:

Triumph At Occupy Wall Street

In yet another return of a long time character, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is back to report on the situation at Occupy Wall Street.

I'm a little surprised that they're able to do this. It would seem to me that "Triumph" is part of the vast array of things they're not allowed to do on the new show because it's intellectual property of NBC.

I love that, in the beginning there was at least a semblance of keeping the "reality" of the skit - there was some effort made to show the puppet but not the arm controlling it. Now it's so big, they just don't care anymore.

Here's something the other "tour guides" won't tell you... there's a weird moment exactly at 8:26, Triumph is shown with an African American guy in a wizard costume. Could it be the same wizard from when Triumph insulted Star Wars fans (Blackwolf the Dragonmaster)?

I think it is! What in the what?!

Andy Across America

While others flew in a plane, Andy was forced to drive the entire journey from L.A. to New York. He brought along a camera crew to document the experience.

The video vividly relays the excitement mixed with the sleepy boredom, the adventure mixed with the mundanity of the giant undertaking. By the end, his experience of Philadelphia is to groggily force down a cheesesteak. I can't say I blame him. All in all though, I bet it would be pretty cool.

Conan O'brien: Pedicab Driver

Still in New York City, and having failed as a Chinese deliveryman, Conan drives people around in a pedicab.... with sexy results.

Jimmy Fallon on Conan

Jimmy Fallon was the first guest of Conan's during his New York stint. It's always fun when talk show worlds collide. This interview takes the normal amount of clock time yet it seems to go by in seconds. I think upwards of 3 topics are covered in ten minutes.

Conan in New York, Delivers Food

Conan's in New York for a very special week of shows. In this bit, he delivers Chinese food... poorly.

Bit + Andy = Awesome

In "Fan Corrections" viewers try to spot mistakes in the show. So far no criticism has held up against cross-examination. This routine bit is improved immensely by Andy Richter's contribution.

Steel Panther - Crossfire

In case you don't know Steel Panther are a tongue-in-cheek novelty 80's hair metal band. Like Spinal Tap, they stay in-character nearly all the time which blurs the line between a "fake" and "real" band. Some people don't even "get" that it's a joke.

I don't know much about them and I'm not on the lookout for a new hair band but I do know this: they've done a cover of the "Crossfire" theme and that needed to happen:

Conan (Back) On Late Night

For the first time Conan returns to "Late Night" and NBC.

When Conan took over as host, Letterman came on the show for a full interview. Not just a cameo. I wish he had done the same but I'd guess it's unlikely.

I hope we hear the rest of that Fall anecdote at some point.

Late Night - Radiohead

Last night Radiohead was the musical guest on "Late Night". I'm obviously a big fan but if there's a band out there that's capable of making more delicate and beautiful songs than this, please let me know, because I know of none...

Andy Rooney's Lost His Mind, Has Retired

After 33 years after he completely lost his mind, Andy Rooney has finally retired from "60 Minutes". Some people say - though I don't know - that he had valid points for at least the first three years or so. Regardless, I can say unequivocally, from first-hand experience, that he hasn't had a good point in the past 22 years.

But despite retiring, old habits die hard:

Eye In The Sky

Once in a while a song will come on the radio that you haven't heard in a long time and it's the perfect song in that moment. I had that today.

The sound of this song = me on this day.

Top Gun Auditions

The 25th Anniversary Edition of the "Top Gun" DVD features screen test footage heretofore unseen by the general public. You can see it here for the first time:

If you didn't see the season premiere of SNL last week, it's probably worth checking out. In terms of audience reaction, it was probably the strongest episode I've ever seen. In all episodes of SNL there are at least one or two clunkers. It just happens. This episode - every single sketch the audience was howling with laughter. It's probably and anomaly but who knows, perhaps they've hit a stride of some sort.

Pink Floyd Week: Pearl Jam - "Mother"

Pearl Jam raps up Pink Floyd Week with a cover of "Mother". Again, not thrilled with the song choice but the execution is really good:

Nick Thune vs. Andy Richter

After "The Snub Heard Around the World" a new documentary seeks to shed light on the Nick Thune / Andy Richter cold war. The trailer is out and it looks interesting:

Nick and Andy: Coming Soon from Nick Thune

Pink Floyd Week: MGMT - "Lucifer Sam"

Going back to the old school, MGMT perform "Lucifer Sam" on Late Night:

I was kind of wondering if someone would do a cover from the psychedelic phase. Not really familiar with MGMT (or Management as I call them) but they do a good job.

Pink Floyd Week: Roger Waters, Foo Fighters - In The Flesh

Last night Roger Waters joined the Foo Fighters to perform "In The Flesh" as Pink Floyd week continues. Great pairing, I'd like to see other songs. They need more guitars though.

Pink Floyd Week: The Shins - Breathe

It's Pink Floyd Week all this week on the Late Nights with Jim Fallon. Monday they started with The Shins performing "Breathe".

Cinematic Science: Selleck's 'Stache

Recent research has now proven that all movies are improved by Tom Selleck's moustache. It's a force to be reckoned with! Accept it before it destroys you!

Best Friends No More

Jimmy and Stephen Colbert agreed to be Best Friends for Six Months but just recently the six month friend lease expired. In this segment, Jimmy and Stephen contemplate where to go from here...

I was trying to remember where "Somewhere Out There" first appeared. I remembered it was a Disney-like film from way back but which one? It's from "An American Tail". That's way back there.

According to wikipedia, it was co-written by James Horner. There's kind of an odd bit o' trivia. Also according to wikipedia, this clip is part of a "multi-episode arc". Let's hope they find a hatch.

Ricky Crashes the Monologue

Yesterday's monologue on Late Night saw a cameo by an unexpected star:

The Third Guest

For two weeks Conan has scheduled 4 guests every night and made absolutely no effort to try and fit them all in. Every night, after the musical guest, Conan's saying, "My apolologies to (third guest) - we ran out of time." Meanwhile, I'm wondering what they were thinking.

I wasn't paying much attention to the opening credits but the situation becomes much clearer when you do. Here's the run down of the third guests for the last two weeks:

8/18 - Ghost Doctor Steve Zampanides

8/17 - Sandwich King of Cincinnati Steve Zampanides

8/16 - Shark Whisperer Steve Zampanides

8/15 - Gargling Expert Steve Zampanides

8/11 - Animal Impressionist Steve Zampanides

8/10 - Billionaire Matchmaker Steve Zampanides

8/09 - Font Expert Steve Zampanides

8/08 - Hot-Sauce Expert Steve Zampanides

Slow Jam The News: Debt Ceiling Edition

It's a serious issue, it's only getting worse, and it deserves to be slow jammed.

Lost: Deleted Scene

Recently at some "Comic Book-style Convention" the creators of Lost revealed a "Deleted" scene. Frankly, I think a deleted scene from "Lost" should be a "Lost 'Lost' scene". But this lost "Lost" scene was found.

Anyways I thought it was a pretty good "Lost" find...

Losrt

Local Commercials: The Next Generation

Who doesn't love crappy, low-budget local commercials? I know I probably like them more than most. With the rhythm of bad editing, the stilted acting, and the strange "character" spokespeople, bad commercials get deep into your head like a catchy song. Not to mention that one of the other things that bad commercials may also have IS bad songs. You watch it once and it's stupid. You see it again and you start picking up on things. You see it 200 hundred times and it's an addiction. The commercial's in your blood stream and you need your fix. Sometimes I still quote word-for-word the 80s-style commercials that aired during reruns of "Gilligan's Island" when I was a kid. The large majority of which are the "Call the accident lawyers today" and "Join truck driving school" varieties.

It was therefore a great pleasure and a great surprise to see that the art form is not dead and has been taken into the next millennium through the magic of youtube.

Local Commercial Kings, Rhett and Link discuss their company which continues the tradition:

OH, IT LOOKS GOOD!

Can't Stop, Won't Stop, EhEh EhEh

Conan O'Brien Can't Stop (2011)

In Conan mythology the most important period is the murky, uncertain confusion after "The Tonight Show" ended and "Conan" began. Like European history between WWI and WWII it overlaps the aftermath of one cataclysmic event with the build up towards another. It's also the period of which we know least about, as Conan was legally prohibited from appearing on television. It came as quite a shock, then, to learn that despite the TV ban, cameras were rolling the whole time.

"Conan Can't Stop" is a new "fly on the wall" documentary that shows us exactly this sliver of time. As it begins, Conan is still reeling from losing "The Tonight Show" whilst preparing to go on a 2 month, 30 city tour of live venues. We get to go inside his life, inside his home and inside his mind. "I AM angry", Conan says, contradicting most of what he's said publicly, "I'm REALLY angry at times. I'm trying not to be but I'm really, really angry about - and I just have to be honest - I'm really angry about the way I was treated..." A few minutes later we get to witness Conan as he discovers the power of social media. Conan is shown sending a single tweet about his tour and within minutes he's informed that many cities have already sold out.

This first half hour is documentary gold. It's everything you want, and more - a real insight into the man and the events. It's also very funny. It's often been said (ok, by me) that the funniest parts of Conan's talk show(s) are not the monologue, the guests, the written bits, etc. The funniest thing Conan can do is film a remote where he goes some place and reacts spontaneously with real people. In this sense, the documentary is kind of a marathon-length film chunk of just that. It's high-octane Conan improv. Early on Conan realizes his lunch order is incorrect:

C: "I'm going to have to [fire you] over this."

Assistant: "I think the restaurant just messed up because she--"

C: "Well, either way you're losing your job over this."

Assistant: "I really, really do not want to lose my job."

C: "That's what people who lose their job say."

But as the tour gets under way and continues week after week, the film quickly devolves into the same tour documentary that we've all seen too many times. The tour is emotionally draining, the travel is exhausing, every gig runs into the next, every city is the same, he misses his family, he needs a day off but can't get one, and so on and so forth. This is the kind of material that's been retread endlessly and not with entertaining results. In fact it's shocking how closely it resembles a rockumentary. When highlights from the various performances are shown, they are too often musical performances. And not even comedic songs or parody songs, they're old rock standards. I don't really have a problem watching Conan and his band cover "Rock This Town", as such (and it's quite nice to see Conan play "The Weight"), but after the excellence of the first half hour you're very aware that the film is fully capable of so much more. It drags a bit.

To say that the documentary depicts Conan "warts and all" would be very cliched and also very true. The main element of Conan's humor off-camera, biting sarcasm, is also almost entirely absent on his show. Fans who haven't seen the "off-air" side of him may misunderstand but it's explained in the film as a safe way to release negative emotions. That's all well and good and in fact, as in the conversation above, it provides many of the funnier moments. But as Conan dances on the fine line between a sharp jab and geniuine nastiness, he's shown crossing it as well. Scenes where the TV Conan meets and greets fans, signing autographs and humbly thanking them for their support are followed by scenes of Conan (out of the public eye) pettily whining that he shouldn't have to do it. Later, one of the backup singers who is touring with him, wants him to meet her family. He happily and graciously meets them and as soon as they're gone he's outraged that his time is being wasted. I recognize that when cameras follow anyone around for a lengthy amount of time, they're going to find something bad and I don't expect him to be anything but human but it is an unpleasant glimpse - it shows him as disingenuous and self-centered.

Overall, the first half hour and the final few minutes are excellent and are enough to compensate for a weak hour in the middle. But regardless of the general quality of the film, if you're a Conan fan, it's absolutely required viewing. While there is much here which we've seen before, there is also an unequaled, unrivaled glimpse into events of which we know little. In these latter moments, we get to examine Conan O'brien, the man, up-close, uncensored and in real life. The only hitch is that sometimes, up close, you don't like everything you see.

6/10.

Oh, It Looks Goood!

Conan has been doing these "Captain America: World Police" or whatever preview skits for a while now and it's so stupid it makes me laugh every time.

Part of the humor is that they play the same "Entertainment Tonight" clip EVERY SINGLE TIME. It appears they've finally discovered the humor there. And boy, have they!

I just made a post. OH, IT LOOKS GOOD!

John Kruk on Letterman

These old clips are amazing. In just a few decades the entire nature of being a professional athlete has undergone quite a transformation as these clips will show. John Kruk comes on Letterman and talks about baseball with wit and brutal, brutal honesty. This is an interview where political correctness, pretension and ego do not exist.

It takes Krukker about 2 minutes to get warmed up but once he does, it's comedy gold.

Would it even be possible for an athlete to say these things today? I don't think so. The media would eat them alive and leave nothing but a bloody carcass.

Slightly less funny but even more insanely forthright is this interview. Going in reverse chronological order, this one's from 1992:

There's no one like this any more.

Mep Mep Mep

It's "Video Game Week" on "Late Night" which means that every night they have a demo or an early look at some eagerly anticipated video game. I really couldn't give a bit. I'm so out of touch; all the giant video game franchises are just names to me, I don't know what any of it is about.

But to mark the occasion they've created a special 8-bit opening which is awesome:

Now that's a TKO from Tokyo.

The Ambiguously Gay Duo

TAGD IS BACK!!! I don't know how or why the skit was resurrected but I don't care. It's a classic cartoon and I've loved it ever since I first saw it on The Dana Carvey Show. That's right - it started on The Dana Carvey Show. Someday I should make a post about that show.

Anyways, it's back and aired on SNL (as well as Late Night). Here it is:

Review: I don't like the changing of Ace and Gary's voices. Colbert and Carrell had the perfect voices for the pair. But it's much more onerous to play multiple parts (as they do) in live action so it's not bad. I could identify Ed Helms, Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell as the villains but I was stumped on the Lizard Man. Turns out it's current SNL cast member Fred Armisan.

Sports Show - Roller Derby

Lately I've been enjoying "Sports Show with Norm MacDonald". It's not a talk show (which is good, they're too many of them) it's a kind of comedy show. It's basically "Weekend Update" but about sports.

A recurring segment is sending Norm's nephew Kyle out to a location to report on some event. Here's the latest one where Kyle visits the Roller Derby. I dare say "Kyle" is the master of the awkward interview.

[Original Link Broken]

Bob Marley Week

Recently Late Night with Jimmy Fallon celebrated Bob Marley Week on the show. Ever day of the week, a special musical guest was on to cover a Bob Marley song.

Of all of them, this one stood out as excellent. It's Chris Cornell covering "Redemption Song":

Yacht Rock 2011 Announced

Yacht Rock 2011 has been announced. Get your calendars in order. This year's Yacht Rock party is set for this coming Monday. The musical guest will be Ambrosia and they'll sing their classic "Biggest Part of Me". In case this song isn't familiar, this might help: the song should be titled "Make a Wish, Babay".

Here's a preview. Or something to play while you get your Captain's hat and blue blazer out of storage.

NTYCTWD 2K11

Today was National Take Your Child to Work Day 2011. I enjoyed it but I feel the name should be changed to the more accurate "National Torture Your Child Day". Maybe that's too accurate. Maybe "National Bore Your Child to Death Day".

When I was a kid my parents showed me around where they work and introduced me to their coworkers. It was fun and fascinating. Even if your parents have the most boring job in the world it seems exciting and important. At one point my dad worked for a printing company and I got to see the giant printing press with gears and levers and it was cool. But it was a visit. It was a tour. It was a look around. I was there for about a half hour... maybe 45 minutes. Tops. Do you have any idea how long an 8 hour work day is when you're a kid? You're a little kid and you spend 8 hours sitting in a chair staring at a cubicle wall. That's TORTURE. That's the adult equivalent of 3 days in a desensitization chamber. And that's illegal! Even I'M watching the clock in that cubicaled, fluorescent light environment and I'm an adult and I've got something to do... And I'm getting paid to be there.

Poor kids.

I Would Do Anything For Lunch

Meatloaf, fresh off his trip into the dark abyss of arts-and-crafts-induced insanity, rises like a bat out of hell and joins Jimmy for a rousing tribute to Bagel Bites.

Soak in the passion:

You might remember these commercials (among others referenced). The song STILL gets stuck in my head.

Everlong

Anything more needed?

Well, in a web-only, exclusive clip, the Foo Fighters perform their hit "Everlong" with a special introduction from Dave. It's a very special episode.

[Original Link is Broken, Replacing with a Youtube Playlist]

Youtube Playlist.

Did you notice that the name of the band on Taylor's bass drum is in the "Beatles" font? I did. Turns out that is was specially done for the "Live on Letterman" webcast. You can watch that here. They play their new album in its entirety for the first hour. But you can skip to the 50:00 mark for all the classic hits.

RIP Fred (2002 - 2010)

In the Summer of 2002, I was working a Spring/Summer Co-Op in which I was paid to do nothing. I, of course, didn't actually do "nothing" - and so I should say that I was paid to drink free soda and surf the internet for 8 hours per day exactly. No overtime! If I wanted to surf the web for more than 8 hours per day, I had to do it on my own time! Actually I don't know, I could probably have stayed longer, shipped a few more "units" but I'm not a human dynamo and it's the Summer and I got friends to hang out with.

My personal PC of the time (the Gateway GP6-233), an Intel Pentium II with a 233 MHz processor, was beginning to feel old and with a steady stream of money and plenty of time on my hands I got the particular type of fever for which there is one cure: a new computer.

I threw my self headlong into research, finding that Intel had recently re-asserted superiority and the new Pentium 4s were faster than the latest AMDs. The fastest type of RAM? RDRAM. The best ROM? DVD-RW - but hold on there, I don't need THAT much awesome power, the 16x/48x DVD-ROM is just fine for me (albeit with a 40x/12x/48x CDRW). The 2.6 GHz processor was just about to be released and so, in a shrewd business move, I decided to wait for that release, and buy the no-longer-cutting-edge 2.4 GHz model for cheaper.

And then it was just a waiting game.

Finally, on September 5th 2002 I purchased the Gateway 700S:

Processor: Intel Pentium 4 2.4 GHz with 533 MHz Front-Side Bus.

RAM: 512 MB RDRAM (800 MHz)

HD: 120 GB (I'll NEVER use that much memory!)

Video Card: 128 MB NVIDIA GeForce 4 (with TV Out)

Disk Drive: 3.5" 1.44MB

Modem: 56K PCI Voice Modem (ooh, fast!)

Total Price: $1,544.00.

After years of enjoyment, all good things must come to an end. Recently the C: drive failed and became totally unusable, rendering the computer (arguably) dead. I mean, if I put another drive in, it would still be working today but I think it was time to let go. But I should say that it speaks well for the oft-dissed Gateway brand. Due to my participation in distributed computing projects, I can honestly say that I had a Gateway computer running at 100% CPU capacity for 24 hours per day, 7 days a week for 8 YEARS and the first thing to fail was the hard drive. You don't get stress tests like that every day.

The computer, Fred, made it from Sim City 3000 to Sim City 4... from Warcraft 2 to World of Warcraft...from dialup to DSL.... Windows 98 to XP... countless all-nighters for college... and probably most importantly - all the fun days of the internet(messageboards, instant messaging, file-sharing, MP3s. MIDI files, Windows "Themes", WinAmp Skins, and on and on).

[Pictured: Fred Desktop Screenshot Circa 2000-Something]

'Dance Avenue' Out on DVD

Jimmy's excited that the "Soul Train" clone "Dance Avenue" is finally being released on a DVD boxset. Somehow Questlove seems to know everything about music and yet, for some reason, he's never heard of "Dance Avenue". I don't get it. It's weird.

Here's a funky, funky dance down memory lane:

Conan Lumbergh

Conan explores the Office space and has conversations with staffers' parents in order to gain valuable advice as to how to improve the show.

If you want advice to help you improve a show, why go to the parents of your employees? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.

Fun Fun Fun Fun

This week "Late Night" and Stephen Colbert did a cross-show promotion in order to raise money for charity. The end result of this was that Colbert had to sing Rebecca Black's biggest hit "Friday".

With backing from The Roots, he did just that:

The previous night the following dialogue took place on the show as Jimmy announced how much money they had raised:

Jimmy: $50,000!

Announcer Steve Higgins: You could buy a lot of Soul Patrol sweatshirts with that.

Jimmy: Yeah, you could- you could- I lost a lot of money; you made me invest in Soul Patrol sweatshirts.

Higgins: Yes.

Jimmy: Taylor- Taylor Hicks.

Higgins: Taylor Hicks... Soul Patrol... you gotta remember they're hyper--

Jimmy: Hypercolor sweatshirts that they don't make anymore.

Higgins: Yeah. But--

Jimmy: You made me lose a lot of money.

Higgins: The money's still there! That's an investment. In the future. Soul Patrol.

Jimmy: Taylor Hicks is- is- he's a great talent, I love that guy--

Higgins: What about the Sanjaya hair clips? And hair extensions?

Jimmy: I lost a lot of money.

Higgins: That's like money in the bank.

And you'll find in the "Friday" performance Jimmy is wearing a Hypercolor Soul Patrol sweatshirt.

Flaming T

I noticed recently that teamcoco.com had added a new tshirt with the Flaming C logo:

You can view or buy it here.

I love the idea but I'm torn about the execution. I'd love to see a tshirt with a Flaming C Comic Book Cover. Or even just a drawing or something.

Classic Roots Choice #28

Back to back!

The other night David Schwimmer was on the show. His walk-on song? It's only one of my favorite songs of ALL-TIME....

His song is a special Roots interpretation of ... ROSS'S MUSIC!

MAaANNN, that's awesome. Maybe next time they can play "Electrifying... Infinite Time".

For comparison.

Classic Roots Choice #27

March 25, 2011 - a date that will live in Late Night history. This is the rundown of the music which the Roots played during Late Night:

Opening: Late Night Theme.

Jimmy's Walkover: "Careless Whisper" as made famous by George Michael

Throw to Commercial #1: "Careless Whisper" as made famous by George Michael

Start of Segment #2: "Careless Whisper" as made famous by George Michael

Throw to Commercial #2: "Careless Whisper" as made famous by George Michael

Start of Segment #3: "Careless Whisper"

Guest #1 Walk-On: "Careless Whisper"

Throw to Commercial #3: "Careless Whisper"

Start of Segment #4: "Careless Whisper"

Throw to Commercial #4: "Careless Whisper"

Start of Segment #5: "Careless Whisper"

Guest #2 Walk-On: "Careless Whisper"

Throw to Commercial #5: "Careless Whisper"

Start of Final Segment: "Careless Whisper"

End Credits: Something different - a "Disco" rendition of "Careless Whisper".

Now THAT'S a show!

Although it was never explained, sitting in with the Roots tonight was the "Sexy Sax Man" Sergio Flores. And when you have a big star like that on your show, you gotta have him play all the hits.

If you're not familiar with this particular phenomenon, prepare for greatness:

Return of the Wolfwaker

[Videos Deleted]

The Wolfwaker was born to a nomadic tribe that wandered the barren plains of Cyrus 6 - a small, rocky world orbiting a dying sun in a forgotten corner of a distant galaxy.

At age ten, he was captured by Nightwalker sentinels and taught to wield the harmonic spear. His childhood was spent in the cold vacuum of space. His play things - tools of destruction. His education - interstellar war. He became a master of killing and fought along other Nightwalker slaves, some of them organic, some of them machines, all of them orphans.

When he was twenty Earth-years-old, he was sent to annihilate the wolf home world - a peaceful green planet called Lupin. As he stepped from the landing craft, the wolven dawn broke over the mountains reminding him of daybreak on Cyrus 6 when he was a boy. Something awoke within the Wolfwaker and he turned his weapon against the Nightwalker Dropship as it sped off to safety. He swore a blood oath to defend the wolves and as they awakened him, so would he awaken them and lead them in battle beyond the stars...

Buddy Lembeck Meets Woodie Guthrie

Long lost footage of Bob Dylan singing an unreleased song was recently restored and premiered on Late Night. Interesting, historical stuff.

[Original Video Link Broken]

Apparently song was considered lost because someone spilled blood on the track.

Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all

Tiger Woods made his first talk show appearance since all the unpleasantness. First off, it was strange to me that he was the second guest. And then, of course, the entire nature of the situation was such that it was bound to be awkward but it's notable how the awkward level spiked sharply in the early going. Here it was:

And then this was the really enjoyable part of the appearance.

That PS3 ball thing is so stupid looking. It's an object that I'll probably never get used to. I refuse to accept it as a valid object, it doesn't deserve my acceptance.

FYI: Tiger's walk-on music was "Creepin'" by Stevie Wonder.

IMDB 250 Challenge Revision 5 Complete (Part 2)

Continued from Part 1...

The Secret in Their Eyes (2009)

My Rating: 7/10.

An Argentinian film, The Secret in Their Eyes is the story of a prosecutor looking back at his most famous homicide case. The movie spans several decades as it flips between modern day and the events of the past. Basically, this is like all the crime dramas on TV that I don't watch (CSI, Law & Order, etc.) but fortunately, with a level of quality many notches higher. There's also a twist ending but it's not as twisty as the movie seems to intend. The acting is extremely good but the most impressive part of this movie is the hair and makeup. Obviously, the portrayal of different time periods demands that the characters appear to be different ages and this movie has the most realistic, believable aging I've seen in a movie. Very good. There's also a long tracking shot that - even though special effects are utilized - would even make Orson Welles applaud. A good movie and worth watching if you have the time.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)

My Rating: 6/10.

Anime keeps popping up in the list, particularly the works of Hayao Miyazaki, and I don't expect that trend to stop any time soon. I have to say upfront that I wasn't in the mood to watch an anime movie (am I ever?) but, frankly, this one was good enough to win me over. Should I even bother summarizing the plot? Hmm, here goes... in a post-apocalyptic world, humanity and nature are at war. The mutated/evil forest keeps expanding and taking over the actual forests which is bad. The humans are even divided amongst themselves and barely surviving against the constant horde. However, there is a prophecy that states that one shall come to unite humanity and nature and bring them in to harmony. There's also a blobby slime monster.

Patrick Stewart gives a standard Patrick Stewart performance as a guy with a voice that sounds a lot like Patrick Stewart. You would think that a Japanese cartoon from 1984 would be a strictly non-Shia LeBeouf affair wouldn't you? WELL YOU'D BE WRONG, SPANKY. Provided you watch the English dubbed version as opposed to subtitles. Oh, and Mark Hamill has a bit part but you would never recognize him.

I've gotta give it up for these movies in the sense that they seem to be endlessly imaginative and that translates to some entertainment value. At the same time I can't take anime seriously enough to really care and get that emotionally involved.

Our Hospitality / Sherlock Jr. (1923)

My Rating: 7/10.

I think it's the first double feature ever on the list. In the first feature, Buster Keaton stars as a man who must return to the west to claim his inheritance but along the way he falls in love. To his surprise, the woman belongs to a family which has a blood feud with his own. When he's invited over for dinner, the men in her family decide that they cannot kill him while he's a guest in their house but as soon as he leaves, he's fair game. You gotta love those rules - you wouldn't want to be bad hosts but murder is just a part of life. Obviously though, such a wacky setup can't help but lead to an interesting movie.

In short - and I've said this before - Buster Keaton's a genius. The action sequences alternate between funny, exciting, amusing, tense and dramatic. All the gags are clever and a few of the stunts are absolutely breathtaking and you know as you watch them that that it's actually happening without special effects. These movies have humor, drama, romance, action, they got every-ting! Everything, except spoken dialogue, which obviously handicaps the ratings of all silent pictures (for me).

The second part of the double feature, "Sherlock Jr." is slower and less well done. It's basically a display of the most cutting-edge special effects of the time, which are actually still impressive, even now. But then, as now, special effects are no substitute for a good story. The second half and the general "silent picture handicap" takes it down from an 8 to a 7 but still, these movies are spectacularly clever. I continue to be a growing Buster Keaton fan and I'll have to look up more of his movies outside of the list.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

My Rating: 8/10.

This computer animation movie slipped under the radar for me and I wasn't big on watching YET another animated movie when there were already a number of them in the list but, again, (there's a pattern forming) it won me over. Basically, a village of Vikings lives in constant battle with the surrounding dragon population but one kid finds that they've just been misunderstood and keeps one as his own pet. Hey, it doesn't sound all that different from "Nausicaa...".

Like I said, this one flew under the radar but it's actually (I think) better than Toy Story 3 which is saying something. Although both teach valuable life lessons about caring or sharing or something or other... I don't know I wasn't paying attention to that part. If you're looking for a movie for a kid, this is a "can't miss". If you're an adult, it's still actually good enough to watch, in my opinion. Two things put it over the top for me: 1) Most of the movie is like that part in "The Neverending Story" where the kid rides the luck dragon (Excellent). 2) Certain scenes and shots in this movie genuinely communicate the sensation of flying - probably better than any other movie I've seen.

Kick-Ass (2010)

My Rating: 3/10.

What if there were a superhero with no superpowers? That's Batman. Ok, what if there were a superhero with no superpowers and no money? Why hasn't some moron put on a stupid suit and hit the streets to fight crime? They have. What if there was a superhero with no superpowers, no money, no particular talent and hadn't heard of all the other real-life superheroes? There is, and that poor dope is "Kick-Ass".

"Kick-Ass" is a movie about kids aged 12-18 putting on suits and fighting adult villains. On technical merit, this movie isn't the worst. It has questionable writing, fair acting, good editing and a general sense of style. My problem is with the premise. Do you want to watch a 12 year old beating up adult men? The entire idea is ridiculous. It was ridiculous in "3 Ninjas" in 1992, and it's ridiculous now.

"Kick-Ass" isn't just stupid, it's offensive... and in some parts it's offensively stupid. It appears to have been designed by marketing executives to appeal to the "brainless teen" demographic. Who needs plot when the characters on the movie surf myspace? Why develop characters when you can have them listen to Gnarls Barkley in a "pimped out ride"? "Hey, these kids are dealing with sexuality in a frank way! Nobody's done that before!"

Here's a scene for you: one part of the movie depicts a high-school-aged teen walking through a hallway mowing people down with machine guns in slow-mo with hardcore rock music blasting on the soundtrack. Does this throw up any red flags for anyone? Really? We're not interested in learning from the past or thinking about things before we do them? OK, cool, just checking. But, wait, what about the audience - won't they have problems with it? I don't think so. Teens are stupid. As long as it's in slo-mo while hardcore techno plays, it doesn't matter what's on screen, teens are stupid.

And apparently they are. As is the general public. At least, enough to put this piece of turd on the list. Luckily it's slid just off the list but a lot of good that does me.

----

Maaan, finishing on a high note! Well, this revision is complete. And I'm already behind. During the time in which I've been watching these movies, Oscar season has come and gone so there are probably many changes to catch up on.

Movies This Revision: 11.

Average Score: 6.54.

Best Movie This Revision: "Inception"/"Social Network"/"How to Train Your Dragon" - no clear winner.

Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 344.

The Nerdiest Moment Ever

I was lying on the couch watching (I think) the History Channel over the weekend when a commercial came on for an upcoming special. "Did you know two U.S. Presidents were avid skinny dippers?" To which I replied (yes, I spoke out loud to the television), "John Quincy Adams and Theodore Roosevelt".

Now, I wasn't making a joke (to my tv) and I wasn't venturing a guess. I knew the actual two presidents to which they're referring. That's extreme nerdity (good or bad). Nobody should really know that offhand.

But I've come this far so I might as well go all the way....

I object to the term "skinny dipping" in this instance. It's a bit misleading. "Skinny dipping" is something high school kids do during games of "Truth or Dare"; it's something "Stiffler" would do in "American Pie 8: The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". John Q. Adams and Teddy Roosevelt swam nude outdoors for exercise and health (it was believed that the shock of cold air and/or cold water was invigorating and good for one's constitution). Let's not degrade their legacy with stupid terms. Next they'll be saying that Archimedes yelled, "Eureka!" and went streaking.

iPad 2

Conan has seen the new iPad 2 commercial and thinks Apple is getting a little cocky...

I don't know if I agree but that guy with the non-specific ethnic accent is so convincing!

Classic Roots Moment #26

Not walk-on music but it doesn't matter. This quick, tiny moment requires no explanation, it's epic and the video will expire...

Jimmy Fallon... ICE CREAM?!

Congratulations to "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" for being two years old.

The show celebrated with a Charlie Sheen spoof, a "Jersey Shore" spoof, a Slow-Jamming of the News, Mike Tyson and Motörhead sang "Ace of Spades" (Lem-may!).

Leading up to the show, Jimmy had said that there was going to be a huge surprise that would change everyone's life forever. The big surprise was that Ben and Jerry were revealing a new "Late Night" themed ice cream flavor. Ok, you're thinking, that's not huge at all. That's what I thought. But then I thought, I love iced cream, it's up there as one of nature's perfect foods in my estimation AND let's be real real - this could offer us all a paper-thin rationalization to go out and get loaded with fat so let's hear 'em out....

So what are the ingredients?

Vanilla Bean Ice Cream... (niiiice)

with a salty caramel swirl... (yes!)

and fudge covered .... (keep going)

potato chip clusters.

Eeeeee. Good luck with all that. That sounds like something that I would happily eat on a dare but without the whole challenge-to-my-manhood element, I don't see the point.

By the way the title of this post refers to "Days of Thunder" but that's probably not obvious to the "normal people".

IMDB 250 Challenge Revision 5 Complete (Part 1)

As you probably know, I have a (continuing) mission to watch every movie on the IMDB Top 250. I had previously accomplished this task a few years ago, however as ratings fluctuate and more movies are released, movies slip out of the 250 and others take their place. This requires that I continuously revise my list and watch the new ones to keep up. I finished the fifth revision earlier this week, watching the movie "Kick-Ass". Here are the latest movies and a few thoughts.

Toy Story 3 (2010)

My Rating: 7/10

Do I need to even write anything? With Pixar, you know you're getting a quality movie and this one is no exception. It's a worthwhile addition to the great "Toy Story" franchise that follows a gang of toys as they are forced to deal with their owner is too old and doesn't want them anymore. It's certainly a good movie but definitely not as good as the previous two. Michael Keaton (Batman) does a nice job as Ken of "Barbie and Ken" fame.

The Social Network (2010)

My Rating: 8/10

I was against this movie. If there's one subject for a movie that doesn't attract my attention, it's facebook. On top of this, I had seen the clips of this movie on late night talk shows which suggested that the movie's thesis is that the creator of "The Facebook", Mark Zuckerberg is supposed to be some sort of intellectual collossus who looks down on us little people with our tiny intellects with disdain. Yeah, copying myspace would make Isaac Newton himself gasp in awe and wonder.

Fortunately, my preconceived notions were largely inaccurate. The Social Network is smart, stylish and fast paced. Aaron Sorkin does his usual "people thinking and speaking too quickly which shows how smart I am" thing but it's fine. Justin Timberlake as Napster founder Sean Parker?

"We need to cast a computer nerd, who can we get?"

"Oh I know, Justin Timberlake!"

"Yess." (Slow fist pump)

But then, that's kind of the point. The point of the movie is not to tell an accurate account of history, it's about making an entertaining movie. And it succeeds. But for everything that it does well in terms of style and building drama, it lacks heart. I thought it was a really good movie and I really enjoyed it and I don't think I'll ever want to watch it again.

Inception (2010)

My Rating: 8/10

The conventional wisdom holds that Leonardo DiCaprio died on the Titanic in 1912 so there's no way he can be in movies anymore. But Chris Nolan is such a genius, he found a loophole. Leo is dreamy and can still exist in people's dreams so if you make a movie about dreaming you can still cast him. BOOM.

Just like "The Social Network" this one is extremely hyped and stylized and similarly it does live up to the hype. "Inception" is a sci-fi action "flick" where a technology exists that allows people to inhabit the same dream. In turn, there arise organizations in the business of "breaking into" people's dreams in order to steal secrets or plant ideas which will yield profit for them in the real world.

"Inception" is a fast-paced, well done action movie with a nice psychological twist - much in the same vein as "The Matrix" (and not too far off in terms of subject matter as well). The key for me was that within the basic premise outlined above, they also go into a dream within a dream for a number of levels until your mind gets twisted a bit. It was a unique experience that really took a good action movie and put it over the top.

Mary and Max (2009)

My Rating: 6/10

A claymation movie for adults, this movie is about being quirky and different. So different, in fact, that at times it's just weird. It tells the story of a young girl in Australia who picks a random person from the US and writes a letter to them. Soon an extremely unlikely pen pal relationship is struck. Though claymation, the movie is nearly colorless in its palette (at times it's nearly black and white) with some color here and there. This visual suits the tone of the movie which depicts a bleak world where people are dealt a bad hand but try to remain hopeful. The characters deal with depression, sadness, emptiness, abandonment, psychosis and generally the sad state of humanity. And yet it's claymation! At times it's very creative and clever, at times I loved the quirky, strange nature of it, at times I really rooted for the characters but unfortunately it doesn't sustain greatness for the entirety of the movie and I thought the ending was very weak.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring (2003)

My Rating: 5/10

This is a Korean film that centers on two Buddhist monks that live in harmony with nature out in the middle of nowhere. There's very little to say about this movie because it's sparce and slow. There's probably about one line of dialogue for every minute of film time. There are many beautiful shots of pristine nature as the film slowly and quietly shows the passage of time, the imperfect nature of man and the peaceful beauty of the natural world. The main theme of the movie is the cyclical nature of life (as the title suggests). In the end, it's a 5 for me. To value this movie more or less than any other movie would imply that some things are more valuable than others. This view of unequal value leads to a possessive spirit. And a possessive spirit will murder. *gonnNNGGGG*

Black Swan (2010)

My Rating: 7/10

FINALLY they make a ballet-centered movie about the descent into madness! It seemed obvious to me.

Obviously "Black Swan" centers around ballet but the real subject of the movie is psychological illness. We are not merely spectators as the movie attempts to draw us in as much as possible to put us in the unsound mind. And it does a pretty good job. The movie is paranoid, claustrophobic, disjointed, intense and can be, at times, hard to watch. But then, that's the point. But then, that means that it's not a movie for everyone.

I really think it's a good movie, but it's not great - I was moved and I was into it but nothing sort of pushed me in 100%. But within the confines of such a movie, Natalie Portman give an amazing performance as the main ballerina Nina Sayers. Her performance is multi-layered, multi-faceted and completely convincing. I haven't seen all the other nominees but I can only assume her Oscar is completely earned.

Who knew that someone from the Star Wars prequels could actually be good at movies?!

To be continued....

Donald Rumsfeld on Letterman

I wanted to post this interview for quite a while but it wasn't up anywhere. It's a terrific interview and a terrific return to the "old style" of Letterman political interviews.

I knew that Rumsfeld had been the oldest Secretary of Defense but I had no idea that he had been the youngest as well. And likewise that he had known, interacted with and served for so many U.S. Presidents. A fascinating interview and includes some great "mule" banter.

Segments like this one are one of the main reasons that Letterman is (has been) head and shoulders above every other talk show host. When bringing on political or polarizing figures, he isn't content to be apolitical and have them tell stories about how they love their cat (as other talk shows will do). Instead, he does the opposite - mixing the jokes with direct questions about the important matters of the day. At times like these the show ceases to be just a dumb comedy show and gains an edge of serious journalism.

And the BEST part of the serious political interview segments was that it was entirely detached and objective. When someone from the left was on, for instance, Letterman would ask fair but hard-hitting questions. When someone from the right was on, it was the same deal. Again, in the vein of journalism, the questions would be fair but tough regardless of the guest. This was probably most evident during the presidential campaign of 2000. The "Late Show" were able to book both presidential candidates and the reviews on both interviews were that Letterman had actually been harder-hitting than most interviews done by the "serious" journalists.

Unfortunately all of this is filed under the "old style" above because recently things have changed. Though THIS interview is recent and that shows Letterman is still capable of doing it, lately he's become much more politicized. He'll give guests from the left a free pass and say things to those on the right are treated with outright hostility. Recently in an interview with Rand Paul for instance, Letterman actually uttered the phrase, "You know, I think he’s wrong about some of these things. I just can’t tell you why.” It's a statement so dumb, I couldn't (and can't) believe it was said.

All the more reason to enjoy interviews like these because they're an endangered species.

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines?

Jason Sudekis tells the story of drinking too much at the NBA All-Star game:

Then, Amber Heard describes her experience announcing the official "Gentlemen, start your engines" at a NASCAR event and Jason Sudekis and Jimmy Fallon argue about the quality of Jimmy's version. They both agree that it's bad but is there more to it than that?

Classic Roots Choice #26

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was on the show the other night to promote the current season of "Jersey Shore". Her walk-on music? A segment of the Oompa Loompa song from "Willy Wonka...".

[Waaaaaa.]

That's classic.

Thank You Notes

It's Friday and that means "Thank You Notes". This particular edition gets some help from violinist Itzhak Perlman. And yes, I double checked that spelling.

Jordan Schlansky - Valentine's Day

Oooh, I almost forgot this one. Any time Conan visits with Jordan Schlansky, it's going on the blog. That's my promise to you the viewer and all future generations.

Conan talks to Jordan about Valentine's Day and relationships:

It's too short though. Spoiler: Conan drinks too much alco-hool. Also, I have to admit that I DO like it when the two bald priests are staring out the highway window from the bus.

Music Roundup

Thought I'd post a couple recent musical performances that caught my fancy (a bits).

First, this is an increasing trend and I'm not sure if that's a bad thing. There's nothing about this song that's amazing, nothing great, nothing, really, that I can pick out as "above average" and yet I just like it for some reason. It's just wonderfully atmospheric. Listening to it puts me in a specific brain state (a specific feeling of time and place) which is really cool.

Phantogram - Mouthful of Diamonds (note: I wanted to post their Late Night performance with Questlove on drums but that video expired).

This song also holds up after repeated listens. There are a lot of bands out there that are trying to be "retro". There's a whole slew of bands that are "synthy" and trying to recall the 80's style. But this song's on another level. This song successfully sounds exactly like it's FROM the 80's. Take any scene from 80's movie where the "gang" has to fix up an old barn and it's tons of hard work but all the difficulty is made easier by the use of the upbeat montage. Take that scene and play this song over it and it doesn't feel out of place at all. (Edit: Wait, no, it's not the fixing up the barn scene, it's the scene where the guy did something bad to drive the girl away and there's a montage of failed ploys to win her back.)

Chromeo - "Hot Mess"

Seriously, this song has more hooks than a fisherman on vacation.

Letterman Visits Old School

Hmm, that's a bad title. I was trying to make a play on the title of the last post.

Anyway, here's a video from all the way back to 2003. Vince Vaughn came onto Letterman to promote his new film "Old School". Vince Vaughn is one of the best talk show guests out there, and his Late Show appearances are especially good. That's why it's an absolute crime that he's only on for one segment. Still, it's short and sweet.

Bonus: Paul's walk-on music choice: Steely Dan - "Countdown to Ecstacy". The chorus contains the line "And I'm never going back to my old schoooool."

"I went to a school called 'Life', Dave. Our school colors were black and blue."

Conan Visits Beauty School

In this classic from 2002-2003, Conan visits a hair styling school and learns the secrets of the trade. The revelation that "if hair is too long, cut it" is mind-blowing.

Let's gather the required postage and follow him to Danger Town:

You may or may not recognize the employee, Aaron Bleyaert. These days he manages the "online" division of Conan's show (the blog, twitter, web exclusive videos, etc).

Conan and The Blizzard of 2003

---As promised---

With New York City shut down due to the blizzard, Conan takes to the (surprisingly desolate) streets to stir up some comedic comedy.

That news story by Maurice Duvois gets me every time.

New Press Photo

Sure, we don't want this to become a Radiohead Fan Blog but, uhhhhh....

So anyway a new press photo of the band was released! Desperate for hints and clues as to the new album as we are, this counts as major news (for now).

Here it is:

[Note: The photo contains 3 invisible ponies.]

Now THAT is a sweet photo. Judging by it, I'd say the new album is going to sound like The Band's self-titled album. Yaaaaay! Or perhaps Neil Young's Harvest album. Yaaaayy! Or maybe it'll be like "The Wild Wild West" soundtrack. Oh, BOOOO! Or maybe My Morning Jacket's new album that isn't released yet. Cool? I guess maybe this has become an entire genre of band photo. But still it's good.

Who Cares Wins: Internet

How did I learn to operate Blogopolis? Max and Gabe taught me.

Thanks Max and Gabe!

Here Comes the Limb King

The eighth Radiohead album "The King of Limbs" is available for pre-sale now and will be downloadable this Saturday, February 19th 2011.

Its gonna be HUGE, Conan. I've officially been waiting on this album for 4 (calendar) years and after not a hint, not a suggestion, not a word, it's all of the sudden going to be OUT in 5 days. WOW. Their previous album, "In Rainbows" was announced 10 days before it was released. I wish they didn't do things this way. If they would have only announced it two months ago, I would have had something to look forward to for those two months. Instead, it's 4 years... BAM, NOW!

And along the lines of the "no info" front. Little to nothing is known about this album, not even the tracklisting or how many tracks there are. Although the Japanese are saying it's got 8 songs. That would seem low and I don't think that's correct. There were some tracks that have been played live and not yet recorded but there always are. Furthermore, those tracks that ARE known were only played acoustically or with guest musicians so that's not much help. I'm rooting for "Big Boots" or "Follow Me Around" to finally land a spot.*** All in all, I'd venture to say this is the least I've known going into any Radiohead album, ever.

The album purchase is available in two varieties: download only (wav or mp3) or "newspaper album" which comes with the download as well as two vinyl records, the CD, the ability to download everything and tons of artwork. There's been a lot of speculation as to what "newspaper album" means.... Ok, there's been almost no speculation and what little there is has been ridiculous. I would speculate that it's one of two things: 1) An expression of the nature of the artwork (ie. the artwork will be arranged like a newspaper or 2) All of the materials will be recyclable/biodegradable like a newspaper. Radiohead, after all, are known for being super eco-friendly and that would be the kind of thing they would brag about.

Ok, as speculation goes, this probably isn't the most exciting stuff, but that's all I got.

I should say also that I don't like the title... "The King of Limbs". Reminds me of Kings of Leon (it actually comes from a tree (much like a newspaper! mMM!)). But I'm taking that as a possibly good sign. After a 3 year wait in 2000, the new album "Kid A" was announced and I didn't like THAT title because it reminded me of Kid Rock. And that album turned out PRETTY good.

*** Denotes an old-timey, hardcore-fan reference to songs that will probably never see the light of day. Ha ha? But really, I do love those non-songs.