[As with most songs on youtube, just ignore the video.]
I was driving and this came on. I was immediately captured by the story and, to some extent, the nice 80s groove.
I won't go into the details, but even in the age of AI, finding a song you heard on the radio is still a test of will power.
Aside from belonging to the "Song with a Story" category, I find I love songs like this one that have a driving, constant, almost monotonous, perhaps droning rhythm.
If that kind of thing interests you, here are two other examples.
Miracle Legion - All For The Best
Radiohead - Cuttooth
If this is an existing genre, let me know the name.
Bone Thugs-n-Harmony released "Tha Crossroads" in 1996 and it's been stuck in my head on-and-off pretty much since that time. But in those thirty years, I never bothered to look up the lyrics... not even once... not until now.
So I thought we'd formalize it - comparing my version of various snippets with the actual lyrics to see how close I was.
It should be noted that I found different sites have different lyrics. I'm just going to go with SongFacts. I'm also going to be changing around some of the formatting to make things easier to follow.
First off, the song starts with them singing "Bone, bone, bone..." as in the name of the group. That's the first surprise - I never knew that's what they were saying. Then later...
Me: Now tell me what you gonna do (when there ain't no where to run)
when judgement comes for you
when judgement comes for you?
Now tell me what you gonna do (when there ain't no where to hide)
when judgement comes for you, 'cause it's gonna come for you.
Actual: Now tell me whatcha gonna do (When there ain't no where to run)
When judgment comes for you,
when judgment comes for you
And whatcha gonna do? (When there ain't no where to hide)
When judgment comes for you ('cause it's gonna come for you)
This is a pretty easy one. It's pretty clear and obvious.
A little later...
Me: Fool, what can I do?
It's all about offending, and how we rule.
Can I get a witness, lighting the fool,
We living our lives we turn in our soul.
Actual:
Ooh, what could I do?
It's all about a family and how we roll
Can I get a witness? Let it unfold
We livin' our lives to eternal our souls...
Well, that last line doesn't make grammatical sense but whatever.
Me: Now follow me roll Stu. Weather is still savvy. So think of the people that's on their Ritz...
Actual: Now follow me, roll stroll Whether it's Hell or it's Heaven Come, let's go take a visit to the people that's long gone...
Man, this is hard.
Me: Instead of people with their family, exactly how many days we got lasting, why you laughing? We're passing- passing away.
Actual: And still keepin' up with they family Exactly how many days we got lastin'? While you laughin', we're passin', passin' away.
Not optimal but ok.
Me: He was long gone, all he did was come home but when he gotta die, gotta go bye-bye all the little thug could do was cry cry.
Actual: Now Eazy's long gone Really wish he would come home But when it's time to die, gotta go, bye-bye All a lil' thug could do was cry, cry
Fair.
Me: Why they killed my dog and man I miss my Uncle Charles, ya'll. He shouldn't be gone. In front of his home. What they did to boo was wrong. Mooo wrong.
Actual: Why'd they kill my dawg? Damn, man, I miss my Uncle Charles, y'all And he shouldn't be gone In front of his home, what they did to Boo was wrong Oh, so wrong...
The subtle difference between "dog" and "dawg" makes a lot of sense now. They didn't kill the guy's pet. For years I thought his pet dog was killed.
But on the other hand, you're never going to convince me that "Oh, so wrong" is said anywhere. The lyric is very clearly "moo wrong" - the song clearly has a bovine element that they've been trying to cover up for years. Listening again, it sounds like maybe "Hewww wrong."
Back to another easy one:
Me:
And I'm gonna miss everybody
And I'm gonna miss everyloddy
And I'm gonna miss everyloddy
And I'm gonna miss everyloddy
And I'm gonna miss everyloddy
And I'm gonna miss everybody
Actual:
And I'm gonna miss everybody (x6)
Nope. You lost me, Bone Thugs. I have ears, and that's not what you're singing.
Me: Livin' in a hateful world, sending me straight to Hell. That's how we roll.
Actual: Livin' in a hateful world sendin' me straight to heaven That's how we roll.
Oh, interesting. Slightly off, so close, but it's ok, I think I can nail the next one. Let's see...
Me: On libbin, on sibbin, on gebben nintendo, on wibbenese. When we come again, again and again. Now tell me what you gonna do?
Actual: You know while we sinnin' He intendin' on endin' it when it ends He comin' again and again and again Now tell me, what you're gonna do?
Man, I really thought I had that one. I'll take the "L," it's just surprising.
Me: Can somebody, anybody, tell me why we die, we die. I don't want to die. Moo wrong, moo wrong, moo wrong.
Actual: Hey, can somebody, anybody tell me why we die, we die? I don't wanna die (oh, wrong) Oh, so wrong Oh, wrong
We covered "moo wrong" already, I don't want to beat a dead cow.
So that's it. I can make no guarantees that the next time the song comes to me I'll be singing the right lyrics but a few mysteries were solved. I want to make it clear that the phrase "Moo wrong" is said multiple times and RIP Uncle Charles, ya'll.
Another "back to form" video, this time a Wheel episode.
I had a query about the hair video. I recognized the idea, I remember things like that being developed at the time. I may even have seen that exact thing, who knows. But I don't understand how there are no labels for each hairstyle. Like, if you watch the video and decide the fifth hairstyle is the one you want, how do you then communicate that to a barber? I don't understand.
Oh and the "I'm with ya too" line was a constant in my childhood. I still think about it today.
I've watched a lot of classic movies in my time. I think the #1 thing that disqualifies me from cinephile circles is that I hold no special regard for "The Godfather." But perhaps #2 on the list is that I have no special appreciation of Stanley Kubrick.
But one movie I don't dissent on is "Dr. Strangelove." I do like "Strangelove" and I do think it is a classic. And it's so rare that a comedy ages so well. 1964 here.
When I was a kid, they showed "Dr. Strangelove" on PBS and I remember being shocked and somewhat traumatized by Slim Pickens sitting on the nuke as it drops from the bomber. The whole idea of comedy/satire was beyond me, I just found it scary.
Other upcoming re-releases: "Point Break" and "Terminator 2" in August; "The Passion of the Christ," "Transformers: The Movie," "Princess Mononoke" in September.
Also, one of the new episodes of MST3K (from the latest kickstarter) will be in theaters September 9th and 13th (and check your local listings for exact dates).
In 1988, CBS aired a Brady Bunch reunion called "A Very Brady Christmas" and it was a big hit. I remember, not so much seeing it, exactly, but learning about it as a myth. "Did you know they made a Brady Bunch movie where they're all adults?" was passed from kid to kid as we watched TMNT or played Nintendo, which was the style of the time.
From that success, TV executives realized they could make Brady specials every few years to allow audiences to check in on the Bradys and see how things are going, and also to keep milking the cash. From that idea, someone said, "Why not a regular series?" "Fine," they said. And at some point - I don't know who or why or how - someone said, "Let's make it a drama."
Yes, the Brady Bunch show of the 90's was a serious drama, for some reason.
It's pretty nuts but this Brady Bunch show went up against "Family Matters" and "Full House" in its time slot. It also failed badly and was axed after only 5 episodes.
Here's the rundown (spoilers to follow for this crappy show):
Bobby Brady became a racecar driver in the Christmas special. In this series he crashes and is paralyzed in the first episode. Throughout the rest of the series he will hope to, and work to, get out of his wheelchair. It's fun, silly, Brady Bunch action.
Also, Bobby meets and marries a woman played by former MTV VJ Martha Quinn, which is notable.
Jan is married and is having sex. Her and her husband are trying to conceive (and having trouble) and the show makes it abundantly clear that Jan is having ALL OF THE sex. So much sex. I will never look at Jan the same way again.
Cindy is a radio DJ and dates her boss.
In the Christmas special, it is revealed that Peter is engaged but in the first episode of this series, he calls it off. Peter is a ladies' man and the joke is he basically dates a new girl every night. The only person having more sex than Peter is Jan.
Greg doesn't have much to do. He's a doctor and married to a beautiful wife (the new Gidget) and is just... kinda... he's just winning at life. That's pretty much his story.
Marsha is an odd situation. Marsha is the only case where the original actor didn't want to be in the show and had to be replaced. Which is too bad because... everyone loves Marsha and I am everyone. The Marsha character is married to a whiny loser for some reason. Her husband's main skill in life is to get fired from as many jobs as possible, leaving his family homeless. It's annoying.
Marsha slips into alcoholism. Why? It seems the show's explanation for her alcoholism is that she's bored one day and just starts drinking. And then she admits she has a problem, says she's going to get professional help and she never does. By the end of the show she is cured of alcoholism merely by deciding not to drink anymore. It's a serious topic, handled with skill and nuance.
Alice is basically comic relief and is just hangin' out. She's still married to Sam the butcher.
Mike Brady gets so fed up with his local government that he runs for office and wins. The Bradys help him with his campaign. Carol is there too.
One other note about "comic relief." The show is a terrible attempt at a serious drama, like I said, but the ratings were so bad that a few episodes in they start adding a fake laugh track to try to tap into the old Brady magic but it just makes things worse. A bad drama with a laugh track is just bonkers.
