Mr. T in Wrestlemania II

So I started watching Wrestlemania II, taking notes (as one does) but eventually realized that it was all vanity and grasping for the wind. So I stopped. I stopped because there was no way to make note of everything going on here. There is way too much of everything. WikiPedia notes that Wrestlemania II has been criticized as being "excessive." Yeah, it is. If you ever want to watch something that's "excessive" check out Wrestlemania II. I will try to focus on a few things.

In Wrestlemania II, I theorize that the WWF made a marketing decision to try to bring more female fans in by including more women into the event. Joining Vince McMahon on color commentary duties is actress Susan Saint James of "Kate & Allie" fame...

Other women included were Joan Rivers, Elvira, Cathy Lee Crosby and Clare Peller. "Who's Clare Peller?", you ask? She's the "where's the beef?" lady. Oh, yeah. And that's in addition to the women wrestlers.

I figured this was worth mentioning because it affects the Mr. T match, which was my focus. Not that it affects the outcome but the experience of watching it. Having Kate (or Allie) doing commentary gives the entire event a strange and unnatural chemistry.  I'll put it this way: when you think "professional wrestling commentary", the phrase "cute as a button" is probably not the first thing that comes to mind.

On to T...

After Wrestlemania I, the WWF got the idea to have Mr. T be a "WWF Boxer" and to have a rivalry with Roddy Piper, who you might remember wrestled against him in said Wrestlemania. So Wrestlemania II features a Mr. T v. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper boxing match.

Going into it, I was surely intrigued. I really couldn't figure out what I thought they would do: would they script a fake boxing match or just say boxing is simple enough, let's give everyone the real thing. Even more perplexing was what happened next. Watching the match, it really looked real to me - I couldn't be sure about what I was seeing. Either it's really easy to fake boxing or they let them really box within a scripted framework because it just looked like boxing for the first few rounds.

It wasn't until Round 4 that the situation became crystal clear to me and everyone else. In Round 4, Piper and Mr. T drop their arms to their side and trade haymakers back and forth like it's a "Rocky" parody. With the sheen of realism completely gone, Piper loses his temper, bodyslams Mr. T and it devolves into a sort of street fight. The referee stops the match and Mr. T wins as Piper is disqualified. 

Overall, I found it pretty impressive. I have to say I was really fooled for a while there and it was pretty entertaining. Though the concept was a failure and the WWF never tried boxing again.

Mr. T's Record Album

 In 1984, Mr. T released his own album of songs called "Mr. T's Commandments." At 30 minutes in length, Wikipedia calls it technically an EP.

The tracklisting is as follows:

"Mr. T's Commandment"

"Don't Talk to Strangers"

"The Toughest Man in the World"

"Mr. T, Mr. T (He Was Made for Love)"

"The One and Only Mr. T"

"No Dope No Drugs"

"You Got to Go Through It"

This is mostly the mid-eighties rap/funk that you'd imagine. My favorite track is the unexpectedly sultry and sensual "Don't Talk to Strangers." If you're with your girl and you're looking for music to set the mood, you gotta go with "Don't Talk to Strangers."

Notable is the fact that the "rap direction" (whatever that is) for the album was done by none other than Ice-T. If you were in on the studio sessions and you said, "Hey T, what are we doing on this track?" I wonder what would've happened.

Mr. T in Wrestlemania I

The main event of Wrestlemania I in 1985 was a tag team match: Hulk Hogan and Mr. T vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndoff. 

A few highlights:

One of the guest referees was Muhammad Ali of which Gorilla Monsoon remarks, "Muhammed Ali has been assigned as the outside referee which is just as important as the inside and maybe more so!" Nice try, marketing!

But then outside refereeing does come into play about mid-way through the match - if wrestlers leave the ring for a 10 count, they automatically get disqualified. Piper and Orndorff leave the ring for a full minute and eleven seconds and magically it's ignored and the match continues. You had one job to do, Ali!

Then there was one part of the match where Piper and Orndorff are completely waling on Hulk Hogan and taking turns, tagging back and forth so they can optimize their beatdown. Monsoon says, "The continuity being shown by the team of Piper and Orndorff - which really, I can honestly say I haven't seen yet on the part of the champ and Mr. T, maybe it's coming but - that continuity is so important if you want to be successful." I don't know exactly why but that tickled me. When someone is getting curb-stomped and you have to justify your job as commentator, talk about how the difference is "continuity."

Finally, a word about the refereeing. It really seemed to me that the refereeing on this match was terrible. Every time Mr. T tried to bend the rules, the referee was right on it but Piper's team was routinely breaking the rules completely unnoticed. Where is the fairness? It's pathetic. Train your referees better,  WWF!

That Time Webster went to Star Trek

 

Yes, this is an actual episode of Webster, edited down to only the Star Trek parts.

Mythbusters really missed a golden opportunity at a great myth here. Can a lightning strike while playing a computer game really beam one to the Star Trek Next Generation? And does pushing Up too far on the joystick really make a difference, as Webster claims?

Game Grumps - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Game

 

Mr. T on Saturday Night Live

Mr. T appeared on Saturday Night Live twice. In fact, imdb lists his two different appearances in two different sections of his page. He appeared in one episode in a "Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood" skit as well as "Mr. and Mrs. T Bloody Mary Mix" and then later co-hosted an episode along with Hulk Hogan to promote Wrestlemania I. Imdb lists his first appearance as "actor", they list his hosting of SNL as "self." I suppose that makes sense when you really think about it but it confused the heck out of me.

Mr. T's appearance on SNL is very typical stuff. There are a few things that stood out to me. I should mention that this is the Dick Ebersol era of SNL so it's the Christopher Guest, Billy Crystal, Martin Short, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, etc. cast. So that's the flavor.

First off, Mr. T and Hulk Hogan do the opening "monologue" and it looks like the picture above. Mr. T has made a career out of being a large guy, he's not tall, he's 5'11'' but he's big. It's amazing to me how small he looks next to Hulk Hogan. That guy really is giant.

The monologue is basically a wrestling promo. The only thing that stood out to me is they make a joke about the Richard Belzer incident. Maybe it's just hindsight or the fact that I'm from a weaker, wimpier era, but that seemed to me to be poor taste.

So then it's the skits... Mr. T appears in 3 skits and in all of them he's just playing Mr. T. Seems like this would be a chance for the writers to get creative and have him play against type but then again, it's possible they proposed that and he refused. This is the era of Mr. T being as serious as a heart attack.

Mr. T appears in "Mr. and Mrs. T Bloody Mary Mix" - a fake commercial where Robin Duke (made-up to look like Mr. T) and Mr. T sell bloody mary mix. According to Robin Duke, her repetition of "I pity the fool" in this sketch is what made "I pity the fool" is what really injected it into the mainstream and caused it to become T's official catchphrase. Oh, she did that? Call me skeptical.

The most famous sketch from the episode, and also one of the most famous SNL clips in existence, is "Fernando's Hideaway." In case you don't recall, you've probably seen it in the clip shows. It's the one where Billy Crystal improvs in a Spanish accent and Hulk Hogan and Mr. T struggle to maintain character and not break up. As the most famous Mr. T highlight, it's ironic that all traces of it seem to be erased from the internet. NBC: they do whatever they can to not make money.

So that's about it.

Fun Fact: The funniest Hulk Hogan SNL sketch, in my opinion, is the one that didn't have Hulk Hogan.

100K Dominoes Set Up By Robot

 

Mr. T on Silver Spoons

 

I'm exploring the early works in Mr. T's oeuvre and it's all pretty much "of a piece." Mr. T plays the Mr. T persona and, even then, his acting is sometimes rough. But, unexpectedly, there is a sterling standout appearance and it's his episode of "Silver Spoons."

"Silver Spoons" was another show I really liked as a kid but don't have any idea how it holds up now. If you're unfamiliar, you need to know 3 things: 1) It's about a rich kid - so he has a rideable train in his house. So child-me was sold immediately. 2) Erin Gray is in the cast. And 3) I forgot the third thing after Erin Gray was mentioned. Maybe it was that this show was where Alfonso Ribeiro got his start. It might also have been that it has one of my favorite TV themes of all-time (is it yacht rock?). Call it 4.5 things.

In the episode, little Ricky is getting bullied at school so they hire Mr. T to be his bodyguard. He sits in an elementary school classroom, the teacher asks a question, Mr. T looks around, looks around the other way, no one knows the answer, he slowly raises his hand.

I was pleasantly surprised. If you're not averse to cheesy eighties sitcoms, this is actually genuinely funny. It's weird to say, but this is wittier and more subtle humor than both of Mr. T's appearances on Saturday Night Live. Check out the episode (S01E04) if you're into this sort of thing.

Trivia: In the episode, Mr. T confronts the bully "Ox" played by John P. Navin Jr. The two would meet again in very similar circumstances when Navin plays a gang member who Mr. T takes under his wing in the made for TV movie "The Toughest Man in the World."

The Mr. T and Emmanuel Lewis Christmas Special

Yes, there is such a thing as "The Mr. T and Emmanuel Lewis Christmas Special." Technically the title is "A Christmas Dream" but no one calls it that.

I have watched it and, having watched it, this would usually be where I would review it and describe how crazy-go-nuts it was. But I'm not going to do that - it's not worth it. It's really just a cash grab: a major network created a cheap Christmas special to fill up airtime. 

There's little production, little plot, it's just very cheaply made. It has none of the bizarreness of The Star Wars Holiday Special but it is similar in that it's another inexplicable variety special. So there's singing, ice skating, close-up magic (David Copperfield), a ventriloquist, and lots more singing. The "plot" that glues together the variety elements is that a little boy (Lewis) doesn't like Christmas and T is intervening to give him the Christmas Spirit. You can watch it here.

A few interesting things about Emmanuel Lewis. First off, according to Wikipedia, Lewis has no known condition that explains his lack of growth. That's weird. Also, when he was in his heyday on Webster he was in his teens, he wasn't a 5 year old boy like I had always assumed. For instance, as of this special (1984) he's 13 years old. Another tidbit that surprised me is that he's still alive but has disappeared from public except for one appearance. He shows up in a Lil John music video "Don't Give a F" around the 30 second mark.

GG - British Newsie

 

Japan Snack Reviews #3

 .... Aannnd we're back!

This is part of a Very Special Blog Series where we review random Korean and Japanese snacks. This time it's Japanese...

1.

Translated Name: "Takoyaki", or grilled octopus. Specifically teriyaki/corn flavored.

Additional Text: Texas Corn

Review:

When the packaging advertises "Octopus" flavor, I know to be worried. But these are actually ok. They're corn puffs, they're light, salty and savory. As stated on the package, they're supposed to taste like octopus/seaweed but whatever that is, it's just a light dusting and it's mixed with teriyaki. I would call these "not bad, but not good."

I wonder what they mean by "Texas Corn" - whether that's just a claim, whether that's a flavor or - I doubt it but - are they actually importing corn from Texas?

2.

Translated Name: N/A.

Review:

Walter and Jesse got together to do a cook, it appears. These have some Japanese text but it's faint and small and so I didn't have it translated.

The taste of these, whatever they are, is exactly as you'd expect. It's crystallized sugar, it tastes like rock candy. I like rock candy. I like these just fine.

3.

Translated Name: Unclear other than that it's strawberry flavored.

Review:

Yes, it's that famous Japanese icon Felix the Cat. Remember Felix from all the Japanese cartoons?

As far as packaging goes, this is an A+. I would like to take that wrapper and frame it (if it wasn't just a few square inches). I love that image.

As far as the candy, it's a very light and pink square. At first I assumed it was something like Hi-Chew but it turns out it's strawberry gum. It's lighter than we would have in America both in terms of density and taste. There's nothing great about the gum but it's good. You can't go wrong with strawberry gum.

4.

Translated Name: "Cola-flavored gum"

Review:

Speaking of packaging, this is another outstanding package and another thing I would frame if it wasn't so small. As it's cola-flavored, what they've cleverly done is combined the Coca-Cola and Pepsi logos into one.

Inside the fantastic package, are 4 small brown gumballs. They certainly taste like cola. People say that one of the things that differentiate Coke and Pepsi is that Pepsi has a pronounced citrus taste and it's that taste that's really emphasized in this gum. It's almost too much but I can tell why they would give it such a punch - the flavor starts wearing off immediately and it becomes pretty flavorless pretty fast. Not bad.

5.

Translated Name: N/A

Review:

The history of this candy must be that some aunt said "You're so cute, I could just eat you up" and immediately Japanese engineers went to work. This is the very definition of the phrase.

What does it taste like? Who cares with looks like that! Ok, I'll tell you. At first I expected a gummy candy but it's actually hard like a lollipop. It's like a lemon-flavored lollipop. And it's a good one. Looks great, tastes great.

And that's it.

LGIO - The Tower

In the last episode we were introduced to the concept of "The Weave". In this episode, Mr. Let's Game It Out invents The Tower.

 

GG - Panic Restaurant

 Game Grumps are playing the legendary game "Panic Restaurant" and, to use an outdated phrase, it's epic.

Korean Snack Reviews #3

 Well it's been about 3 months but now there's another one of these. How are you doing? How's the family?

1.

Translated Name: King Sura

Review:

I didn't take a picture of the snack because what you see on the package is pretty accurate. The only thing I would say is that they look orange on the package but they're more brown in person. These are like thick Frosted Flakes with a thin crispy crust - not just what they look like but what they taste like - but then at the end there's a subtle flavor of something like sesame seed. I immediately was wondering how popular these are. I can see myself being at work and being in the mood for cereal so I'd get these out of the vending machine.

2.

Translated Name: White Heim - White Hazelnut

Review:

So with a name like "White Heim" you'd guess that it's probably the product of another country but perhaps popular in Korea but AskJeeves tells me it really is from Korea. Perhaps they give it a European-sounding name for flair. They look like this:

When you were a kid, did your grandparents give you Sugar Wafers? These are like a fancier version of that. This was excellent, although it's not so exotic, it's one of the best things in the whole collection. If I'm being really critical, there is a strange aftertaste that isn't pleasant. Perhaps strange, more complex flavors come with attempting fanciness. I don't know. Really good.

3.

Translated Name: Sweet Red Bean Jelly

Review:

Well with the name "Sweet Red Bean Jelly" I think the review writes itself. In some sense it tastes like nothing but yet it somehow tastes really gross. How is that possible? Buy some for yourself. 

I actually took a photo of the actual food but this post has been in development for 4 months. So I recently looked at the photos on my phone, saw the photo of this, didn't remember what it meant and said "What the heck was that?" - Delete. Just imagine a rectangle of dark jelly substance.

4.

Translated Name: Banana Kick - Banana Puff

Review:

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to combine the form of cheese puffs with the taste of banana? No? Well here it is:

What you think of these hinges on how you feel about that artificial "banana" flavor. I love banana flavor so I'm onboard.  Did you ever wonder why artificial banana flavor doesn't actually taste like banana? It's because the "banana" flavor was originally based on a type of banana that no longer exists. The banana that is most common today has a flavor that's more chemically complex and harder to replicate so candy producers keep using the old one.

Puff snacks with the taste of banana - that's pretty much it. Every once in a while you may hit a vein of salt but not much.

Generally going through all the snacks, there's an apparent tradeoff between exotic and good - the things I'm tending to like are things that have American analogs - but this is one of the few things in the entire collection that is both really weird and pretty good.

5.

Translated Name: Syrup Coated Rice Senbei

Review:

So, first off, "senbai" is a Japanese word meaning rice crackers. So this is a Korean product with an English transliteration of a Japanese word. And not only that, it also has Chinese writing on it. It's tri-lingual.

Just picking it up, you know something's different. There's a certain heft that comes with a cookie whereas this is very, very light. Aaaand, true to form it tastes like the other rice cracker I ate (See: Korean Snack 2.2). Rice crackers be not my thing, yo.

So that's everything. Was it worth the wait? Perhaps we'll have another installment in another 4 months. We can have up to 3 of these per year and this can go on indefinitely.