10 MPH - Ranking Kit Kats

 

Well this deteriorates quickly. Why did it turn into a speedrun?

Japan Snack Reviews #6

Here we are, just one last snack review. In order to fit everything in, I'll try to be brief, let's get started.

1)

Name: Hello Kitty Chocolate Marshmallow

Review:

It wouldn't be a Japanese snack review without Hello Kitty.

The name is accurate, this is a marshmallow with a perfect cylinder of strong chocolate in the center. In my Poland Snack Review, you'll recall I was not impressed by chocolate-covered marshmallow. But now, with this marshmallow-covered chocolate, it's time to completely flip-flop on the issue!

Here's the deal... The chocolate has a really strong chocolate punch and, combined with the marshmallow, I was reminded of all the Winter days where I'd add Marshmallow Fluff to my Hot Chocolate. It tastes amazingly similar and I loved every second of it.

2)

Translation: Kit Kat

Additional Text: "Adult Flavor"

Review: 

As we all know, "adult" is a euphemism for nudity so this should be interesting...

As you're may already be aware, Kit Kat is not technically a Japanese brand - they're made by Nestle, which is Swiss - but they're so popular there that the Japanese have created a wide spectrum of their own odd, native varieties. I've tried many of them and thought I had made a blog post about the whole phenomenon, but looking now, I never did. If you're looking for a cool food adventure, get a Japanese Kit Kat variety pack - it's an experience.

So what is this "adult" flavor? It is green tea. It's a green tea Kit Kat. I remember this from before. It accurately captures the flavor of green tea in a Kit Kat form but it's up to you to determine if that's a good thing. I say nay.

3)

Name: Umaibo Delicious Sticks - Chocolate 

Review:

You may recall that Umaibo are cylindrical, hollow corn puff things and have come up a number of times before with different varieties. This one is a complete change of pace, it's obviously chocolate. It looks like this:

You know you shouldn't be doing food reviews when your first reaction is "it is what it is." It's a flavorless air puff covered in chocolate. Not worth your time, in my opinion.

4)

Name: Crispy Chocolatey Rice Cereal

Review:

A chocolate bar with rice puffs embedded within. I think in this Chocolate phase I've been comparing things to Nestle Crunch quite a lot but now we come to something that basically IS a Nestle Crunch bar. I think the chocolate of the Crispy is sweeter and the rice is thicker. 

5)

Name: Rilakkuma

Review:

This is a surprise and I'm not sure how to describe it. It looks like a basic piece of chocolate but it isn't. It may be basically chocolate but it's sweeter and has some caramel notes, or it might be meant to taste like some kind off coffee.

I can't describe it completely, but it's definitely good and definitely too small a quantity. Buy lots.

6)

Name: Chocolate Shimi Corn Stick

Review:

This is described as a "mix of milk chocolate and crispy corn puff in a star shaped tube." It looks like this:

I think it would be lazy for me to say that it looks like poop. I'm above that. Candy bars often look like poop and we have no problem with it, I will extend the same courtesy to the Japanese.

And it's pretty good! Sure, I've too many of these "biscuity" chocolate things and yes, I'm not bowled over but it's much better than I thought it would be. It also packs a bigger chocolate punch than one would expect. The mixture of puffed corn and chocolate is not so different from Cocoa Krispies or Cocoa Pebbles, which seem to be fairly popular. Marginal thumbs up.

7)

Translation: "The Thing Forgotten by the King"

Additional Text: "Chocolate filling and cookie" and the King is saying, "Where is it, when did I have it?"

Review:

The outside shell is a cookie that's swirled chocolate and vanilla, as you can see in the photo. But I really only taste the vanilla. But then in the middle is a gooey, cakey chocolate substance that is very unusual and tastes great. The best equivalent I can find is when you get a Molten Chocolate Lava Cake. You know how the "molten lava" part is not quite solid and not quite liquid? Well, it's like that. Very, very tasty. 

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And that's all for the Korean and Japanese snack reviews. I hope you enjoyed it. Special thanks to my family for gifting them to me over a year ago. And a big thanks to my friend Nathan for doing all the translation. I was sure he was going to get tired of the homework and give up but instead he patiently went through everything, snack after snack, group after group. Thank you. 

Japan Snack Reviews #5

Will this ever end?! 

1)

Translation: "Strawberry Candy"

Review:

A pink, roundish hard candy. It has a light strawberry flavor and it's delightful.

2.)

Name: Mini Bottle Sherbet

Review:

Inside the bottle is little white spheres of mostly sugar. Tastes like Pixie Sticks with most of the sour removed and some of the sweetness. They also taste like Smarties (in sphere form). Not sure where "sherbet" comes in. Maybe there's a hint of creaminess? There's a hint of something, something slightly strange but I can't put my finger on it. I think the best way I can describe it is it smells like that point in building a new house when the drywall has just been put in. It's okay.

I took the "bottle" as maybe a clue so I poured a few into some water to see what that would taste like. They didn't dissolve, they just sat there.

3)

Name: Strawberry Daifuku

Review: 

This is a strange one. This is a strawberry-filled marshmallow. The marshmallow is made with mochi and the strawberry is bean paste. The marshmallow is like a normal marshmallow that's old and become tough and chewy. When they say that it's mochi or supposed to taste like mochi makes sense - there is something there that is reminiscent of that.

It's not bad but it's pretty weird and it's hard to get my head around it.

4) 

Name: Transport, Animal or Number Chocolate

Review:

There are some varieties of these that are shaped like transports and some shaped like animals. What I found interesting is that a camel is both.

They taste exactly like Hershey's Chocolate Syrup. You know the delicious chocolate syrup that you add to your milk to make your delicious chocolate milk? They taste exactly like that.

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So, next up is Korea again but I have to say Japan is just about done; all that's left is the verified chocolate snacks. For that I'm going to have to scrounge up guest tasters from somewhere or something. Not sure how that's going to go.

Japan Snack Reviews #4

Reaching the end of the Japanese snacks and it's a lot of small individual candy items...

1.

Name: Ame Chan Candy (Hello Kitty)

Review:

Ame Chan candy comes with various different characters on the wrapper - "Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Anpanman, maneki neko..." Obviously, I got Hello Kitty. This one is a lemon hard candy and it's a strong lemon taste. Lemon candy like this divides me slightly. On the one hand, I think it tastes great. On the other hand, it is a bit like eating Lemon Pledge (housecleaner). But overall, a thumbs up from me.

2.

Translation: Couple O' Lemons. Lemon soda candy.

Review:

These are basically like Smarties. They come in different flavors but this one is lemon and, let me tell you, if it didn't say "lemon" on the package, I would never have guessed. It has some sort of fruity taste but it's only lemon if I really strain my brain.

They also dissolve in a weird way, I imagine that's where the "soda" part comes in. They're very slightly effervescent. Not bad, ok.

3.

Name: Beh (Tongue) Gum

Review:

It's blue gum. You know the flavor "blue," don't you? It could broadly be blue raspberry but the way I would describe it would be blue lemonade.

Japanese gum seems to be fundamentally different in some way than American. Firstly, the texture is much softer, it feels like it's going to dissolve or break apart but doesn't. And then also the flavor doesn't last as long.

The reason this is called "tongue" gum is because the gimmick is that it turns your tongue blue. And it worked. I didn't photograph the result but it wasn't pretty. Not bad, overall, but nothing too great either.

4.

Name: Maken Mini

Review:

Well I'm not one for reading Japanese labels but the one thing I can guess is that it's the first candy with an expiration and I missed it. I'm taking my chances and living on the edge. If you don't hear from me again, it was the Maken Mini that did it.

These are gummi candies that come in the form of hands that show "rock, paper or scissors." I got scissors - it looks like this:

The red color made me expect strawberry or cherry but it seemed to me to be cola flavored. In fact, it tastes like Haribo Cola Bottles. It's small, I don't know if or how you play rock, paper, scissors with it, but it's candy and it's pretty good.

5.

Translation: Apple Foam

Review:

This is a spherical hard candy that doesn't taste like apple but I think I can be generous and say maybe "sour apple." It tastes exactly like one of the flavors of Fiji Fruits - I don't know if anyone remembers them, they were possibly an obscure candy from the 80s.

Well, looking it up, one of the flavors in Fiji Fruits was "Island Apple" so I guess I have to give them the benefit of the doubt and concede. Fine, it's a valid apple flavor. I don't have to like it though.

And that's all for now. Next Up: Korean Snacks #5. Look for that in 2022!

Japan Snack Reviews #3

 .... Aannnd we're back!

This is part of a Very Special Blog Series where we review random Korean and Japanese snacks. This time it's Japanese...

1.

Translated Name: "Takoyaki", or grilled octopus. Specifically teriyaki/corn flavored.

Additional Text: Texas Corn

Review:

When the packaging advertises "Octopus" flavor, I know to be worried. But these are actually ok. They're corn puffs, they're light, salty and savory. As stated on the package, they're supposed to taste like octopus/seaweed but whatever that is, it's just a light dusting and it's mixed with teriyaki. I would call these "not bad, but not good."

I wonder what they mean by "Texas Corn" - whether that's just a claim, whether that's a flavor or - I doubt it but - are they actually importing corn from Texas?

2.

Translated Name: N/A.

Review:

Walter and Jesse got together to do a cook, it appears. These have some Japanese text but it's faint and small and so I didn't have it translated.

The taste of these, whatever they are, is exactly as you'd expect. It's crystallized sugar, it tastes like rock candy. I like rock candy. I like these just fine.

3.

Translated Name: Unclear other than that it's strawberry flavored.

Review:

Yes, it's that famous Japanese icon Felix the Cat. Remember Felix from all the Japanese cartoons?

As far as packaging goes, this is an A+. I would like to take that wrapper and frame it (if it wasn't just a few square inches). I love that image.

As far as the candy, it's a very light and pink square. At first I assumed it was something like Hi-Chew but it turns out it's strawberry gum. It's lighter than we would have in America both in terms of density and taste. There's nothing great about the gum but it's good. You can't go wrong with strawberry gum.

4.

Translated Name: "Cola-flavored gum"

Review:

Speaking of packaging, this is another outstanding package and another thing I would frame if it wasn't so small. As it's cola-flavored, what they've cleverly done is combined the Coca-Cola and Pepsi logos into one.

Inside the fantastic package, are 4 small brown gumballs. They certainly taste like cola. People say that one of the things that differentiate Coke and Pepsi is that Pepsi has a pronounced citrus taste and it's that taste that's really emphasized in this gum. It's almost too much but I can tell why they would give it such a punch - the flavor starts wearing off immediately and it becomes pretty flavorless pretty fast. Not bad.

5.

Translated Name: N/A

Review:

The history of this candy must be that some aunt said "You're so cute, I could just eat you up" and immediately Japanese engineers went to work. This is the very definition of the phrase.

What does it taste like? Who cares with looks like that! Ok, I'll tell you. At first I expected a gummy candy but it's actually hard like a lollipop. It's like a lemon-flavored lollipop. And it's a good one. Looks great, tastes great.

And that's it.

Japan Snack Reviews #2

 ... And we're back!!!

This is part of a Special Blog Series where we review random Korean and Japanese snacks. This one's Japanese so let's go.

1.

Translated Name: Tasty - Walleye

Review:

This is a continuation of the "Tasty" series. You can see the previous flavors here. So this one is "Walleye" which is apparently a type of fish. Well, I don't know what walleye tastes like so I'm none the wiser. In case you've forgotten from previous "Tastys" they look like this:

So I don't know what walleye tastes like but that's perhaps appropriate because I don't know how to describe this flavor - it's still 90% like the others, it's still very much just a cheese puff - but there's a hint of another taste. The best I can describe it is, it's a barbeque flavor. I wouldn't say it's bad but can't recommend it, especially since other Tasty flavors are available.

2.

Translated Name: Tasty - Vegetable Salad

Review:

Continuing the Tasty series and I believe this will be the last one ever. Again, it's 90% cheese puff flavor. The "vegetable salad" kind of makes sense, I suppose. It has an indistinct onioney or chivey flavor. Not bad.

3.

Translated Name: Roasted/Grilled Fish Strips (Type of Fish Unknown)

Review:

Here we go. This is the most "Japan" Japan snack. Fish strips!

Opening up the package, the first thing I did, perhaps instinctively, is smell the package. The first smell is of wet paint. So now the first taste.... oh no, no, no, no! It does taste like fish but it's the worst thing in the entire collection so far. Full marks for accuracy: it's like dried tuna in a brown rectangle but it's like eating an aquarium. No, it's like eating a fish store. It might taste like fish food, itself. Horror.

4.

Translated Name: Black Devil Beer

Additional Text: The bottom mentions "the child says nothing" or "is quiet". I think I'm missing something in translation here.

Review:

This is the first "do it yourself" candy - the first candy with instructions. It's powder that you have to dissolve in water to make some sort of candy beer(?) I'm not including a picture of the instructions here but they were basically "add water". They were actually more specific... it has to be COLD water. That makes sense, you want to make candy beer but you don't want warm candy beer. In the end it looked like this:

The picture is actually pretty impressive how much it resembles beer. It was actually pretty reddish and so not completely accurate.

Tasting it, I don't think it tastes like beer. I'm not a big beer drinker so I'm not an authority. Pros: it's not too sweet, it's got a hint of bitterness to it but Cons: I think the thing it most resembles is... a cola flavor. 

I'll be honest here, I don’t know how candy beer flavor could be accomplished or even if it's desirable. But even so, I don’t think this is it. It’s possible I added too much water and watered down the taste. However, in my defense, the “instructions” don't say how much water and the picture shows a full stein meanwhile I only made half a glass so I hardly think I'm at fault here. I wouldn’t recommend it but then again I don’t like real beer anyway.

5.

Translated Name: The big text may be a play on words that's unclear. The second half (the red/green/blue triplet) is "soft", as in "soft serve". 

Additional Text: The left side is "strawberry flavor". The bottom right says it's "tasty". The second line I can't fully read but it's referring to the (ice cream) cone.

Review:

Before we move on, let me just say that, as packaging goes, that is the happiest, most childlike packaging I've ever seen on anything. It's Strawberry Shortcake meets Care Bears or what not. This is 10/10 for packaging.

So we just had the first snack with instructions and here we are with the second! There's a powder (again) that you have to mix with water (again) and then you put it on a cone. It looks like this:

Once again, I think I added too much water but, also again, the instructions didn't say how much water to add so I'm blaming Japan (again).

So the interesting thing here is the water mixture is like soda - it seems to be slightly carbonated so that it's a foam. The cone is a genuine sugar cone, nothing surprising here. It's sweet and candy-ey but I don't particularly like it. The "strawberry" flavor isn't the best. It's kind of fun if you want a fun do-it-yourself Japanese candy and the packaging is the absolute best, as I said, but it's nothing special in my view.

Incidentally, I made these "ice cream cones" on a teleconference - at each stage I showed the ingredients and what I was doing and at no point did anyone ask "What are you doing?" or "What is that?" or even "What is wrong with you?" Perhaps ice cream candy from Japan is more common than I know.

So that's it. See you next time with another batch of Korean Snacks.

Japanese Snack Reviews #1

 Alternating between Korean and Japanese reviews. Let's go...

1.

Translated Name: Unknown

Additional Text: The back says "Kuppy Ramune," does that mean "Cup Ramen?"

Review:

You can probably tell from the "window" in the picture that these are sugar discs very similar to Smarties. They come in orange, strawberry and lemon. They're basically like Smarties, generally, but there is a surprise. They dissolve in your mouth almost instantly, it's very strange. The flavor is like Smarties but they're lighter, more powdery and effervescent. For what they are, they're good.

2.

Translated Name: Cola Gummies

Review:

As the name suggests, it's a classic cola-flavored gummy candy. If you want something available in the west that's similar, get Haribo Gummi Candy Happy-Cola. And I like both a lot, although I kind of overdosed a little on the Haribo Gummis so I don't really eat them anymore. This Japanese version is coated with a thick layer of sugar, as you can see. Good stuff.

3.

Translated Name: Tasty - Cheese

Review:

Here's a unique one. First off, the next 3 are all different variants of the "Tasty" brand. "Tastys" are like giant cheese puffs, the size and shape of a cigar. They look like this:

Doesn't look too appetizing but they are good. It looks like a giant cheese puff and it tastes like a cheese puff (though with slightly less cheesy flavor). There is also a hole through the middle so that it's hollow for some reason. An interesting experience and pretty good.

4.

Translated Name: Tasty - Grilled Chicken Flavor

Review:

I think this is the most interesting one of the group. This is continuing the Tasty series, it's like a long cheese puff, as above, but it's chicken flavor. Except, it isn't chicken as we would guess "chicken flavor" to be. A more helpful name might be "BBQ Chicken" - it's a sweet, barbecue sauce flavor that's really interesting and really does resemble grilled chicken in some way. Pretty weird, quite good, I think, very unusual.

5.

Translated Name: Tasty - Shrimp Flavor

Review:

So, again, same form and general taste as the other "Tastys"... But "shrimp" flavor. Well, this is the Japanese snack I was afraid of - and with good reason. Now, I like shrimp okay. I love shrimp cocktail but I think that's mostly loving the cocktail sauce more that the shrimp. But the weird thing about this is that it doesn't taste anything like shrimp, as far as I can tell. To me, it tastes like a strong mustard taste... and I like mustard too but - maybe I'm overreacting here - but I didn't like it and I felt a little sick after eating it. Not recommended unless for a dare.

So there we are. Ending on a sour note but there were some generally good snacks here. The next review will be back to Korea.