Month #2: Poland Snacks

I know you've probably heard it before and you're probably still not happy hearing it again, but this is what the ideal blog looks like.

Alright, if you're bored with the endless snack reviews at this point, I apologize. We're in the mouth of madness and I'm merely trying to get through the snacks as quickly as they're coming in. If I can just ge through Japan and Korea, there will still be another year of snack reviews but it'll only be one per month. I'm treading water over here.

Before we get started, let's learn a little about Poland.

The famous astronomer Copernicus was Polish. 

In Poland, your "name day" is a more significant day than your birthday. Every day of the year commemorates a male and female saint and when the name of that saint matches yours, it's your name day.

The phrase "Na zdrowie" means both "bless you" and "cheers."

Though we don't know where cheese was invented, the earliest known traces of it (strainers from 5500 BC) were discovered in Kujawy, Poland.

Finally, when the Polish city of Gdansk was ruled by Prussia from the late 18th century to the early 20th century it was called Danzig. YOW!

1) Beskidzkie Pretzel Sticks (Cheese and Onion Flavored)

Review: 

"Pret-zel?" Who ever heard of a "pretzel?" Can you believe these foreign foods?!

Well I'm a pretzel fan so I'm okay with it. Here's the crux of the issue: the "cheese and onion" aspect. Apparently this is meant to echo the Polish tradition of pierogies. I would describe the taste as pretzels with a slight "funk" to them. I'm not saying they taste like cheese or onion but I'm not saying they don't either. 

There's nothing crazy or "exotic" here, just reviewing the food, these are inoffensive but I don't like them - I would have so much preferred plain pretzels. Slow start.

2) Monster Munch (Original)

Review:

It's a step forward in the "familiar to exotic" direction. Sure, I've never heard of or tasted these before but they are "Crispy Potato Snacks" which is not so foreign a concept.

These are thinnish but fried and airy. They look like pork rinds or Munchos and both the texture and feel is not very different either.

The initial taste is like that Muncho/rind taste and it's not great. But as it progresses, there is a definite potatoey aftertaste which is really good and savory. Not amazing but a satisfying snack and a class above the pretzels.

3) Milk Fudges

Review:

I was surprised by this one. I admit I don't know much about fudge. In my mind, it's associated with chocolate but a type of chocolate that's maybe thicker or chewier. These are "milk fudges" but don't taste like chocolate at all. To my tasting, this is caramel and my googled knowledge of the subject reveals that this is legitimate "fudge."

Personal confusion aside, this is a win. In all of the snacks in all of the countries, this is one of my favorites. It's been a long time since I had a good caramel candy and this hits the bullseye. The picture above is very enlarged - these are about the size of a Werther's Original. I wish there was more; I'll try to buy some. Wonderful.

4) Beskidzkie Gingerbread Sticks - Cocoa Glaze

Review:

These have the exact same structure and form of Pocky. But as the name implies, they're chocolate and gingerbread. The resulting taste is pumpkin pie/pumpkin spice/gingerbread plus chocolate. It tastes great.

Like Pocky, if you're hungry for a snack, this will not fill you up but the taste itself is tremendous. Two enthusiastic thumbs up.

The box says "Limited Edition." So that's good. It's always nice to find something new that you like only to find that you can never have it again.

5) Chocolate Covered Pierniczki Gingerbread

Review:

"Chocolate covered gingerbread cookies" is more or less self-explanatory. One thing I will say is that the gingerbread is very soft and cakey. And I don't think it works. How can I love the chocolate covered gingerbread pocky and not like the chocolate covered gingerbread cookie? I don't know, I just can. I don't like it. I don't care what Chopin thought, I don't like it.

6) Ptasie Mlecsko Batonik Waniliowy

Review:

This is a marshmallow bar with a chocolate shell. That's it. It tastes exactly the way it sounds. Not my thing, for sure. I don't think I've ever liked marshmallow and chocolate candy. If it was a toasted marshmallow that might be a game changer.

7) Bajeczny

Another chocolate bar, this is chocolate-covered chocolate crunchy. There are also some nut chunks in there, I believe. I'm going to say something possibly controversial: I think it tastes almost exactly like a Nestle Crunch Bar. So if you like those, maybe try one of these.

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And that's it. Month #2 is in the books. Thank you, Poland. Na zdrowie.