Weird Soda Reviews #1

 1) Bazooka Joe Bubble Gum Soda

Actually, scratch that, there is no "Joe" in the name for some reason. Suspicious. And it should be noted that Bazooka Joe Soda does not come with a comic.

I applaud how accurate this is and yet it falls a little short for me. This is 95% Bazooka Joe flavor with just an aftertaste that feels like something else indescribable (but not good). Still, very close and impressive.

What's really interesting is the website description. They describe Bubble Gum flavor as the combination of "strawberry, banana, and fruit punch." Never in my life have I heard anyone breakdown what Bubble Gum Flavor actually means. I would love to experiment with that to see if I can recreate it. One problem is: "fruit punch" itself has a lot of wiggle room.

Why is bubble gum pink? Because pink was the only color that the inventor, Walter Diemer, had on hand.

2) Canadian Maple Syrup Soda

I initially ordered this thinking, "I wonder what Maple Syrup Soda tastes like." One sip and I realized how dumb that was. It tastes like maple syrup, of course. Just imagine Maple Syrup (Log Cabin for instance) but watered down and carbonated and that's it exactly. It's not bad but I don't think it's going to be a new staple for me.

3) Chocolate Soda with Banana & Real Cocoa

Though not eating chocolate currently, I'm a big fan of Banana Splits, historically speaking. When I was a kid I would sometimes cut up a banana and add it to a glass of chocolate milk. It seemed to me that, at its essence, that was the main taste of banana splits.

And that's exactly what this tastes like. They are not fooling around with the labeling - this is EXACTLY chocolate and banana in soda form. It tastes great. Holy moley and wow. It's so spot-on that I wonder if I run a risk drinking it - how much chocolate can a soda really contain? I have no idea.

4) Chocolate Soda with Strawberry

I don't know about you but I'm not a big fan of chocolate covered strawberries. Chocolate is great and strawberries are great but you combine the two together and I don't think the result is greater than the sum of its parts.

But what of the soda? Well, we already established that the chocolate part is strong, but the question is the chocolate/strawberry combo. I don't taste it. I'm not getting a strawberry taste. Maybe it's me but I'm not getting it.

If you want to try for yourself, I got all of these from Vat19.com. Not a sponsor.

Rich Little's Christmas Carol

 Are you down? Are you having trouble "getting into the 'Christmas spirit'" this year? Feeling boxed in by it all? Well, I know how to fix things. How about a version of "A Christmas Carol" where every character is played by Rich Little doing an impression of a different celebrity?

Yes, this production has it all... Rich Little as W.C. Fields as Scrooge, Rich Little as Richard Nixon as Jacob Marley, Rich Little as Groucho Marx as Fezziwig, Rich Little as Truman Capote as Tiny Tim and it just goes on and on from there. Are you a millennial? If so, you have no idea who any of these people are, do you? I guarantee you have never even heard the name Paul Lynde before.

Yes, this special is real and it's incredible (impossible to believe).

My top complaint about this production is that "A Christmas Carol" is, or can be, such an emotionally powerful story...it feels like such a waste for this kind of... whatever it is. If you want a comical parody of a story that everyone knows, do "The Wizard of Oz", Robin Hood, do Rudolph do... hold on... There was a Dana Carvey Show sketch where Dana Carvey was Rich Little in "All Rich Little One Man Easter"... Dana Carvey played Rich Little playing various celebrities playing various Biblical characters... that sketch makes complete sense now.

But anyways, I don't see the point in taking a powerful story and extracting all the heart from it so you can deliver the empty husk of a classic. Take out all the emotion and you're only left with an "I know what that is" skeleton. Just look at every "punk" cover of every popular song ever recorded.

The strangest thing to me about this special is the impetus for Scrooge/Fields to change. Instead of seeing that Tiny Tim dies prematurely, the ghost of Christmas Future (Rich Little as Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau) shows him Scrooge's grave and only his. So, in this version, Scrooge needs to change his ways in order to not die? I got news for you, that's not negotiable. It's also not very dramatic or powerful. Now, to be fair, Scrooge/W.C. Fields is an alcoholic and so it's implied that he's going to die of alcoholism unless he quits but this message is not given any of the weight that it deserves; and besides, what has that got to do with Christmas? Why would quitting alcohol equate to giving Cratchet a raise or celebrating Christmas with your nephew? The first thing that happens at the Christmas party is he's offered a drink and he drinks it and makes a funny face. The only connection I see between alcoholism and "A Christmas Carol" is that the first thing he does after going "cold turkey" is to buy a giant turkey. I'll see myself out. God bless us, everyone.

Mr. T - Man of the Year 1984

Dean Martin and Mr. T. Mr. T is the one on the right.

 "Mr. T, Man of the Year" sounds like a pretty bold statement, it sounds made up. But it's real and I can explain.

The Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts started as a replacement for the Dean Martin Show. Coming out weekly, the roasted person was labeled "Man of the Week." As time went on, broadcasts became more infrequent and the roastee was "Man of the Hour", etc. By 1984, when they decided to roast Mr. T, the title had become "Man of the Year" and so it is.

Mr. T is a great sport, his giggling fits are in stark contrast to his tough guy persona. On the dais, and one of the roasters is George Peppard. The word on the street is that Mr. T and George Pepard hated each other, though Mr. T has tended to dismiss those rumors. Peppard's "roast" of Mr. T is one of the strangest "roasts" I've ever seen - he just talks about how great Mr. T is. No jokes, no humor, just earnest sainthood. To some extent this kind of praise is part of the "roast" genre but even so, it's weird.

It's a star-packed show with some oddities... On the dais are Bob Hope, Ann Jillian, Gary Coleman, Nell Carter, Gavin MacLeod, Howard Cosell and Ricky Shroder.

Some highlights from the roast (from people other than George Peppard):

Dean Martin: His mother had 11 children - he was 4 of ‘em.

Red Buttons: The doctor who delivered Mr. T said, “He slapped me!”

Don Rickles: “We’re honoring this man… WHY?!”

Don Rickles: “And Howard Cosell, I say from the bottom of my heart, you’re annoying and you should go away.”

Band of Brothers Screenwriter Discusses the Show

Contains some spoilers, if you haven't seen the show. However, if you haven't seen the show, you really should.

Found this to be really interesting.

The Fake Chest Pains Lady and The Ewok Guy

 

I thought the last Norm Macdonald clip that went semi-viral would be my last ever. But I found that I couldn't find any reference to The Fake Chest Pains Lady or The Ewok Guy anywhere on youtube and then I found I had a clip with them in my archives (previously uploaded to youtube but blocked for copyright). So here it is.

How many people on youtube are searching for this? I'm hoping it's at least 1.

By the way, an update on experiences with The Algorithm. The Norm Macdonald clip got way more views way faster than any video I ever posted in the past. It got 300K views in something like a week. However, once it hit that point it hit some sort of brick wall and stopped getting many more views. I wish I knew what that mechanism was. It could be natural that everyone who was going to watch it already watched it but I have no way of knowing.

Best of the Worst - New York Ninja

 

The name of Vinegar Syndrome continues to ascend.