JonTron - The Juiceman Jay Kordich

 

This isn't JonTron's strongest work but the subject is strong. There was an era there where I was watching the Juiceman informercial on a regular basis. 

The one I loved most isn't covered in the video and I haven't found it on youtube either. The one I was obsessed with was the one in a seminar-like setting where he's basically delivering a juice sermon and excitedly getting in people's faces. He was kind of a proto-Don Beveridge. This clip is the closest thing I can find to give you some of the idea:

I loved his infomercials so much I used to juice with my grandfather's juicer, and then later I'd do it with my dad and I own a juicer to this day. I really should use it more. I also need to learn more about that master class. I will pay that tuition if I can obtain some sort of official rank in the Juiceman hierarchy.

Tribal People Watch Bob Ross

 

Diet Soda

 
In college I was made aware of a study that had one group drink regular soda for a certain amount of time and another group drink diet soda. At the end of the study they had found that the people drinking the regular soda had lost more weight (or gained less weight, I don't remember) than the people drinking diet soda. I remember thinking it was an interesting example of experiment proving counter-intuitive results.

One of the ways the apparent paradox could be explained is psychologically - yes, the diet soda is technically better but people are prone to thinking "I'm drinking the diet soda so I might as well have two slices of pizza" etc. and in the end they ruin the gainz.

Aside from thinking it was a fascinating experiment, it never had much effect on my life because I just don't see the point in drinking diet soda. 

Fast forward to today.

Recently I ordered caffeine-free coke and what actually got delivered was caffeine-free diet coke. As someone who drinks caffeine-free coke this is an annoyingly common occurrence. I don't know what it is but for some reason people confuse the two with reckless abandon. To me, diet coke is cheap swill but I didn't want to be wasteful and also figured I'd re-check my assumptions.

To my surprise, I've found it to be a tastier beverage than I had anticipated but here's the thing... Switching to diet soda and keeping everything else constant, I've found that I'm eating more and the reason I'm eating more is not because I'm lying to myself. I don't count calories and I don't make bargains about what I can eat and what I can't. No, I'm eating because I'm insanely hungry almost all the time now and it's a pretty clear direct relationship to the soda itself.

So, I don't have a scale and haven't measured my weight and so maybe I'm hungrier and eating more but have some how lost more weight than I would have otherwise. I'm not suggesting anything about this experience is purely scientific and, in case you're wondering, some studies have shown diet soda increases appetite though there are conflicting studies. Still, the contrast has been so stark and so surprising, at least in terms of subjective experience, that the conclusion is clear - sugar tastes better than artificial sweetener and I don't enjoy being hungry so it's regular soda or water and that's it.

Late Night - Ghost of Christmas Past

 Sure it's not Christmas but... uh..... I don't know.

Late Night - Where's My Kayak?

 Or: "There's no reason to live!"

T and T - Season 3

 

It's Part 3 of my full review and synopsis of the series "T and T" and while you might recall that I proclaimed Season 2 to be the lowest point of the series, this post is the lowest point of my life. Enjoy.

WikiPedia Sucks

About Season 3, Wikipedia has this to say: 

"Season three saw a return to action-based stories."

 Well to that I can only say "citation needed" because that's a lie. In Season 3, "T and T" was bought by the Family Channel after running in syndication for the first two (according to Wikipedia) and, being a family show, the action was almost completely removed (you can't say completely removed because nothing about this show is consistent). You can definitively say that Season 3 has the least amount of action.... and it's not even close.  Action was originally part of the formula of the show - each and every episode you knew you were going to see at least a car chase or a fist fight or a person holding a gun but not shooting as someone tackled them from behind. Even when Season 2 got "serious", there was still something action-oriented. But not only does Season 3 emerge with no-action episodes, it even tries to generate and focus on "comedy." Oof. More on that later.

The Theme (Updated)

I noted in Part 2/Season 2 the show eliminated most of the supporting characters but were too lazy to update the opening theme which introduced them. The result was a weird "ghost town" opening.  Well they right this wrong for the Season 3 opening - no superfluous actors. Also eliminated from the theme is the voiceover at the beginning that explains the show's premise. But they didn't want to make the opening any shorter timewise so what do they do with the empty space? They add more song! Not only that, they tack on a whole new section to the beginning of the song that was already disjointed and inconsistent. Check out the results. It all seems to go together but none of it goes together.

A New T

If you watch that new opening you'll see why they were absolutely forced to change it. One of the Ts has been replaced. Amy Taler was fired or left the show or something (can't find any info on what happend) and replaced by Terri Taler, played by another actress. I don't know why. It seems like the ultimate lateral move.

Remember when I complained that Amanda/Amy's character was bland and generic? Well nothing changes in Season 3. It was like they replaced my regular bowl of oatmeal with another brand of oatmeal. I did not notice a difference. This is not to say anything about the actresses, they're fine, just the character(s) as written.

But here's yet another entry in the never-ending list of mysteries. You can see the name of the character changed, right? So you expect the new character is a different person - perhaps Amy's sister or something... You figure they'll start the season and make a quick comment about how Terri is handling things while Amy is exploring the Amazon and after that quick one line, they'll move on as if nothing is changed. Perhaps, even, Amy Taler will be seen talking to them on the phone and saying how much she's enjoying her round-the-world yacht race. But that never happens.  Instead, what they say is nothing. I assume the implication is that they're the same character... except why change the name of the character if it's the same;? Just change the actress. Nothing about this show makes sense.

The Plots

So eliminating the action and focusing on drama or "comedy", the show gets really boring in Season 3. The show still yields a few wacky highlights that I'll tell you about later but, if I can make a generalization about a show that's never consistent, it's just mostly dull going through-the-motions filling out 30 minutes of air time to sell commercials stuff.

In Season 3 Episode 11 a man comes into the gym and claims to be Luck O'Mara, a famous gangster who is presumed dead. In Season 3 Episode 20 a man comes into the gym and claims to be Wild Willy Ryder a famous rock guitarist who is supposedly dead. Uh oh. And incidentally both of these aired in 1990 - the Season 1 Episode 12 episode of "Cheers" where a man walks into the bar claiming to be a famous poet was 1982.

In Episode 6, a stand-up comic is threatened by the mob because he tells mob jokes. Why do they care especially when the jokes are so weak? Season 3 Episode 19, the entire episode is Turner telling a fairy tale to a little kid. That's it. Remember: Wikipedia says this is the season that focuses on action. Season 3 Episode 8 focuses on Professional Wrestling. Season 3 Episode 12 Terri's ex comes back and wants to sell people into Ponzi schemes or bad investments or something. The twist here is that the investments turn out to be good. The other twist here is that the investments turn out to be bad. I have no idea what the end of the episode means except I know that investment opportunities are not action.

So all of this sounds goofy and stupid so maybe you think it sounds fun. But by now you should know that nothing can nothing is consistent, nothing is predictable. In between these episodes is an episode where an ex-cop shoots a kid and as we try to get to the heart of his motives he sweats, yells, drinks, possibly has PTSD flashbacks and the whole thing feels like a fever dream. There's another episode where common citizens try to get rid of a crack den in their neighborhood. And there's an episode where a deaf boy witnesses a robbery so the mob is after him. And this sounds stupid, but it's genuinely uncomfortable to watch.

No doubt, Season 3 lacks action but none of these episodes are technically the worst episodes. Let's get to that now...

The "Comedy"

So, like I said, the third Season has its wacky episodes and its dead serious episodes and each has their problems. But if I had to summarize what Season 3's focus IS (at least compared to the other seasons), I would say it seems to be "comedy."

And I've put "comedy" in quotes, and will continue to do so, for a reason. Because when "T and T" does "comedy" it's unbearable. In fact, I might cut this segment short because I don't even have the strength to get into it. We'll see.

In Season 2, the show introduced two small time, bumbling, stupid criminals - one is the smart one and one is the stupid one and they are, of course, both stupid. I never learned their names, I don't care about their names. But in Season 3 they are made to be recurring characters. Recurring villains? How? Well, you know how at the end of every episode they're caught and put in prison? Yeah well the show doesn't know anything about that so here they are walking around in another episode. Just as if nothing ever happened - it's almost like what happens in the show doesn't matter at all. Say what you want about "T and T" (and I have) but it was always at least taking place somewhere in the real world. With this, it takes up the logic of Adam West's "Batman".

Here's the worst episode with them: Season 3 Episode 9. The two crooks see that a gym (Turner's gym) is next to a jewelry store so they concoct a plan to pretend to be movie producers making a movie in the gym while they're "secretly" breaking through the wall into the other store. When people ask suspicious questions, they promise to put them in the movie and the questioning stops. The characters are so delusional, so eager to see their name in lights, that all logic and reason leave them immediately. This is "funny." And the group of stupid people includes Terri Taler who has already prosecuted them multiple times and has gone through law school and passed the bar. When really loud drilling sounds blast from another room, nobody seems to question it except for T.S. Turner who only shows up in the last 5 minutes of the show. It's a "T and T" almost completely devoid of T.

The Most 80s Episode - Season 3

I don't think Season 3, has a definitive 80s episode; there are moments but they're more distributed. In Episode 20 there's a terrible Robert Palmer style music video, Episode 6 is about stand-up comedy (already mentioned), Episode 8 is about professional wrestling (already mentioned) and my personal favorite: Episode 5 where a floppy disk is held up as the cutting edge in technology. Those were the days.

Random Actors

The guy from "Clear and Present Danger" plays a cop in Episode 10, one of the way serious episodes. And "Whose Line Is It Anyway" star Colin Mochrie shows up as a spoiled rich kid in Episode 15, one of the horrendous "comedy" episodes. In fact, this episode is one of the few that reaches "Scooby-Doo" territory.

The Mr. T Cinematic Universe

I started researching this section and it's taking longer than I had hoped. I think this may deserve a separate post all its own. Possibly look for that sometime in the future.

Conclusion

You can read my thoughts about the series overall in Part 1. Now I'll only add that it seems someone was always tinkering with the show and so it perhaps never found an identity. Season 1 was a "casual action" show (which was the best incarnation), Season 2 was more drama, Season 3 was more comedy. While it was never amazing, it was, for the most part, watchable. Though that generalization comes with the warning that many episodes are basically torture. Still a huge fan of Mr. T but there's no way to get around the fact that the show around him was not strong.

So, now what? Well if there was one Mr. T show that I had completely never heard about, could there be others out there waiting to be discovered? Well, I found that he was a cast member of an animated show in 2001 (12 episodes) but animation doesn't seem to count. I may check it out and, if there's anything there, I'll talk about it. Other than that, according to imdb, there aren't any others - it's pretty much just cameos in movies and TV shows from then on. I'm thinking I may keep this going by watching some of them and I'll post something if there's anything worth talking about.