Conan updates his new set for Christmas. Call me uptight, but I worry that in all his decorating, the true meaning of Christmas may have been lost. I don't know. Like I said, maybe that's just me.
Conan Unveils the Set
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Wolfwaker
I'm posting the whole segment but the real point of the post is the Wolfwaker introduction. It has to be one of the most preposterous and ridiculous things ever vocalized on network television. I was laughing by the third sentence and then it just kept going.
Cell Phone Shootout Part 1:
[Video Deleted]
[Video Deleted]
Cell Phone Shootout Part 2:
[Video Deleted]
It was in the time of the Rock King,
Before the Age of Green Fire,
Before the Machine Rebellion,
Before the Trials of Jupiter.
The wolves were a proud and peaceful civilization
Caring for the small green and blue planet they inherited
When the humans left for the stars.
The wolves lived in human cities,
Practiced human government
And carried on human traditions
Like Christmas.
But the wolves were not alone.
One man stayed behind
To care for the wolves
To teach them art and science
To guide them through the birth
Of their civilization.
The Wolfwaker lived 300 miles above the Earth
In a vast and lonely orbiting fortress.
Always watching.
Always protecting.
And every year,
On Christmas Day,
He descends from the clouds
On a sled of fire
Waking the wolves of the Earth
To remind them of their humble beginnings
And remind them of their destiny in the Heavens...
Monday, December 20, 2010
Fun With Wikipedia
Who says wikis have to be dry, dull and boring?
"The village is especially popular with British tourists; as a local tour guide explained: "The Germans all want to see Mozart's house in Salzburg; the Americans want to see where The Sound of Music was filmed; the Japanese want Hitler's birthplace in Braunau; but for the British, it's all about Fucking.""
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. It's a valid sentence!
Or.... James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.
Dustin Hoffman and Robert DeNiro
They're two of our most legendary living actors and they appeared together to promote their new film.
[Video Deleted]
In the thirty years that Dave has had a talk show, Robert DeNiro has NEVER been on. And it's easy to see why. He may be the only living person who, if asked the question, "What's the meaning of life?", would give a Yes or No answer. From what I can tell, it's extreme shyness - if he was interviewed by someone he knew well he might give actual answers, but as it is, it's two words and OUT. This highly-edited clip cuts out 99% of the awkward silence (as usual) but that's a shame because Letterman is great in these moments. He knows he's dying on stage, his back is to the wall and he lets loose with some fantastic zingers.
Of course, DeNiro was the first guest on Jimmy Fallon's first show but I think the "publicity stunt" nature of the idea was generally lost on people. Saying that one's first guest on their first show is going to be Robert DeNiro is the same thing as saying, "On my first show, I'm gonna escape from an underwater safe." In either case, you're going to see someone die on stage.
BONUS FACT:
Amaze and Impress Your Friends at Parties with this one:
Robert Deniro is actually 25% Italian. He's mostly German and Dutch.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Top Ten Album Easter Eggs
Cracked.com has a really interesting article about the top ten album easter eggs.
For me, the most mind-blowing one is #6 Aphex Twin though he loses points for the fact that the song, on a surface level, sucks.
Of particular interest - and the reason I found the article in the first place - are #9 and #8. #9 is real (obviously) and I've known about for a long time. I even bought two copies of the album just so I could ruin one by opening the back of the CD case. It wasn't strictly necessary - getting to the booklet didn't have to mean ruining the case - but it turned out to be a good idea because I cracked a giant chunk of plastic off.
#8 is really intriguing and I'll be checking out that "combined" album soon but I have to regard it as the same as the Dark Side of the Moon / Wizard of Oz thing (which I also checked out by the way (summer vacations were awesome)). There are hugely suspicious coincidences that lead you down the path of "clues" but it IS only coincidence. The quote in the article where a "source close to the band" says that they can't believe it's taken the public this long to figure it out is rubbish. It's hard enough writing good music, it's hard enough producing good music and making a compelling album, you can't expect artists are going to add some hugely complicated extra parameter for themselves that they have to overcome like syncing to a movie.
I think most conspiracy theories start off for the exact same reason. In fact, there ACTUALLY people who still believe Paul McCartney is dead. THAT... is depressing. Still, I find this kind of thing interesting at least.
Stefon's Guide to New York
I don't know how many times I have to say it - when you're writing a skit where you're having trouble staying in character, do NOT write in midgets. I say it again and again and somehow nobody listens. It almost makes me think that the writers of SNL aren't reading my blog but that's impossible.
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