Safe Sunscreen

 Dateline: Baywatch Season 6, Episode 15.

[Stephanie and her boyfriend are enjoying a picnic. The boyfriend's beeper goes off.]

Stephanie: I thought you had the whole day off.

Boyfriend: No, days off for a doctor are a fallacy. As long as there are medical emergencies, there are no days off.

Stephanie: Well I think I'm having a medical emergency right now - it's my heart, it's beating dangerously fast.

[They make out. It's important to note that as they make out, and for the rest of the scene, someone is probably dying.]

[Doctor Boyfriend feels up her leg and notices she has a suspicious mole. He suggests she should get it checked out.]

Stephanie: I use sunscreen, I tan safely.

Boyfriend: There's no such thing as a safe tan, you know.

And that's the key takeaway here. You can practice safe tanning but there's no such thing as safe tan.

The B-Story to Stephanie's cancer scare is Hulk Hogan and "Macho Man" Randy Savage wrestling against Ric Flair and Vader to determine the fate of a beach-side weightlifting center.

Not a joke. Wooooo!

Pros and Cons or Something

"Pros and Cons" is a regular feature on Late Night but it's usually kind of a waste of time. "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" is supposed to be about being weird and different. But "Pros and Cons" is the one piece they do that's no different from a million different comedy bits done by a million different talk shows throughout history.

But this one rises above that, due mainly to the amount of derailment and improvisation about the "Old Timey" days of radio and myspace. And also the reference to "Macho Man" Randy Savage.