The Charismatic Voice - Heart

 

How about a little Heart?

What about me, vocal coach, did I have heart?

BrutalMoose - Bass Pro Shop Food #2

 

See the first installment here.

David Letterman's Scrambled Eggs Recipe

 

Dave Letterman's Scrambled Eggs Recipe

Ingredients

• Eggs - As many as desired.
• Half and Half - 1 Tbsp
• Butter - 1/2-1 Pat
• Mustard (Plochman's) - As much as you can get out of the thing. [Substitute French's if necessary]

Instructions

1. In a large bowl, beat eggs to a homogenous consistency, whilst making "tsk" sounds with your mouth. 
2. Add half and half and mix into eggs (as above). 
3. Heat a pan to medium heat. Add butter. Once the butter has melted, add the egg mixture to the pan. As the eggs cook and solidify, massage with fork until fluffy.
4. Once eggs are done, pour onto plate and add mustard. Serve.

Review

So I tried this recipe, following the instructions completely, with the exception that I assumed the "as much mustard as you can get out of the thing" thing was an exaggeration. I'm no Julia Child, I'm no Gordon Ramsey, but that's my guess. I found that Plochman's Mustard is available on Amazon, I bought that. I even bought a pint of half and half even though I only needed a tablespoon.

A few things that I found confusing...Firstly, I'm confused by the complete mixture of the eggs. I always thought when you're making an omelet, you beat completely but that if eggs are scrambled, you would keep some marbling, some heterogeneity. I also don't know what "massaging" the eggs is in this context because, again, the way he describes it sounds like an omelet and I'm not making an omelet. The final thing I found confusing was: I was left to my own devices as to how much mustard to use. Given the charge to add the entire full, new bottle, I didn't make that disaster but simply added more than I was comfortable with.

The result? The eggs are fine but the taste of mustard dominates and it's unpleasant. That's going to differ completely from person to person but I personally don't like the strong mustard taste. I may try again with a different massaging technique and less mustard. When Dave mentions mustard, the audience gasps. I also was not familiar with scrambled eggs and mustard so I could relate. But I was trying to think why it's weird and can't find a reason. After all, I normally like scrambled eggs with ketchup so I don't have an objective leg to stand on.

Update: I tried again with the following modifications:

• Less egg mixing
• Added salt/pepper.
• Used my own method of "scrambling" rather than "massaging."
• Used a smaller amount of mustard - like "essence of mustard."

Result: Much better. Although it still seems like an acquired taste that I haven't acquired, still they're good and it seems at least possible that I could acquire the taste.

The Weirdest RLM Game Show

 This idea for a video, particularly in the context of Red Letter Media, makes absolutely no sense. It's a testament to the charm and skill of the channel that they can make it work.

And now a personal story (spoilers for the end of the video).

In High School, going through the halls, I became acutely aware of this dude who would always be surrounded by a group of girls. It was quite a mystery, and in fact an injustice, when I looked at him and considered that there was absolutely nothing about him that should really warrant this kind of attention.  But the daily walking paths to class are set and regular and this phenomenon was confirmed over and over. Spurred by jealousy and curiosity, I looked at him and the situation trying to figure out his secret. I think it was much later, probably years later that I found out that the dude was the drummer for The Bloodhound Gang.

I'd like to think that going to the same high school as... the drummer... for The Bloodhound Gang is the weakest claim to fame in the world - especially when you consider that they've had multiple drummers. But maybe having the weakest claim to fame in the world is itself a claim to fame? No, it's nothing.

Late Show - Dave Calls High School Teacher

 Is it just me or is this surprisingly emotional?

Why Do Americans Drive on the Right Side of the Road?

Why do Americans drive on the right side of the road? Because it's convention.

Why did it become convention? Because the American highway system is based on, and originated from, the Pennsylvania Turnpike in the 1700s and 1800s.

Why did people on the Pennsylvania Turnpike drive on the right side of the road in the 1700s? Because they were predominantly the Pennsylvania Dutch driving Conestoga wagons - Conestoga wagons were invented by Mennonites and get their name from the Conestoga River).

Why would using Conestoga wagons cause driving on the right side? Conestoga wagons were designed to have a large lever, a brake, on their left side. "Teamsters" would walk along the left side next to the handle or stand on a pullout board with the handle in close reach. Naturally, being on the left side of the wagon, the convention was to drive on the right side.

Why was the lever on the left side of the wagon? I don't know that we can know that. It seems there are two likely possibilities here: it's either because controlling a team of horses/oxen from the left side was already convention (because most people are right-handed and it's easier that way) or it's because most people are right-handed and it's easier to operate the brake lever that way.

So there you have it: Americans drive on the right side of the road because the brake on the Conestoga wagon was on the left side in the 1700s and 1800s.

It is interesting to note that after 200 years of history, after all the technological innovation of the Industrial Age, we are still operating a large brake lever with our right hand, now known as the emergency brake.

The Coldplay Trope

The idea for this post came to me while sleeping, I don't know if this will be anything.

I very much have a love/hate relationship with Coldplay. I love their first album and it's one of those albums that reminds me of an era. But from their first album onwards, I liked them less and less while they simultaneously became more and more popular and I've come to despise them (though I still enjoy that first album.) Same era and pattern in music as Dane Cook was for comedy.

That first album is Parachutes, and I've noticed a common pattern that happens over and over throughout the album. Over and over in the lyrics there are the words "singing," "calling," "saying" without any connection to the rest of the lyrics. And a large percentage of the time the word "singing" is followed by vocalization (lyricless singing) for example:  "sayin' ooooohhh, oooohhh". It's almost as a verbal aside, perhaps just for rhythm, like Michael Jackson's non-verbal sounds. As if they have extra syllables to fill and instead of coming up with lyrics it's easier to just add "singin' out" etc.

Here's the breakdown track-by-track:

1. Don't Panic - Nothing of note.
2. Shiver - "sing it" (3 times).
3. Spies - Nothing.
4. Sparks - "I say, oh" - (twice); "I said, oh"; "I cry, oh"; "sing it out <vocalization>."
5. Yellow - Nothing.
6. Trouble - "singin' that."
7. Parachutes - Nothing.
8. High Speed - Nothing.
9. We Never Change - Nothing.
10. Everything's Not Lost - "singin' out <vocalization>" (3 times)
11. Life is for Living (Hidden Track) - "sing <vocalization>" (3 times)

The pattern continues into the second album. "In My Place" - "sing it out"; "Clocks" - "singin'."

So that's it. Is this anything? I'm going to have to talk to my unconscious self, he just doesn't fit in anymore.

Popcorn in Bed - Austin Powers

 

Absolutely delightful.

Willy Wonka Filming Locations

 

I don't know if this will interest anyone else but someone put together a montage of all the "Willy Wonka" filming locations and what they look like now.

This is so detailed and meticulous... Someone put a lot of research and did a lot of exacting work to make a video for no money.

Popcorn in Bed - The Abyss

I am not a huge "Abyss" fan, I am an "Abyss" appreciator - I find the concept of drowning too distasteful to say I can really enjoy "The Abyss." But what I like about this is the stark contrast. Like it or not, "The Abyss" is so completely the opposite of a chick flick.

Goldenberries

 

I picked up some Goldenberries at the store the other day (AKA Cape Gooseberries, AKA Peruvian Groundcherries) and they are a trip.

They're very weird, very hard to describe. They look like yellow cherry tomatoes and taste a lot like cherry tomatoes as well. But they're 50% cherry tomato mixed with sour and sweet. It's as if you took tomato taste and mixed it with lemon and sugar.

I ate one and was immediately repulsed, then I ate another and was shocked at how weird it was. Then I kept eating and found it hard to stop. That pretty much sums it up - they're both terrible and I wouldn't recommend them... and at the same time, I really like them and need more.

Their skin is also sticky, which I've never experienced before in a food. But the internet confirms that it is a natural occurence.

No one knows what groundcherries taste like (no relation to regular cherries) but if you do, they're like a sweeter, weirder, wilder groundcherry. Their alternate name "Peruvian Groundcherry" is apt.

Unsolved Mystery #3

First I posted an excellent documentary about the Jack the Ripper murders, then another. Both left the case unresolved.

Then I posted a documentary about D.B Cooper which actually solved that particular case.

Do you see the pattern? Can you guess what I'm going to share next?

How about a video about the JonBenét Ramsey murder that explores the idea that the reason her murder remains unsolved is because JonBenét Ramsey never existed. She was made up. How about that? That do anything for ya?

In case you're a little younger, JonBenét Ramsey was a child pageant "star" and her murder was endlessly covered in television, radio and magazines in 1996-1997. I know the coverage was ubiquitous because I found the whole thing creepy, was trying to avoid it, and was frustrated at how impossible it was to escape.

Though only a mental exercise, it's nonetheless too spicy for youtube. You can find it on Rumble here: 

Link to the video.

The above video is 2.5 hours long but the only relevant section is 0:06:00 to 1:15:00.

Happy Labor Day from Big Red (?)

 

Game Grumps Joke Songs #3

 

The new album is strong but takes a little while to get going. I think the obvious first single has to be "Forklift Simulator." Though people with more of a Metal predilection will obviously prefer "Lipitor."

Fat Families

 Link to video on Twitter.

Think you're going to enjoy a big Labor's Day barbecue? Think again.

"Fat Families" was a British reality show from 2010 which intended to help a different family to lose weight each week. The above is a supercut of some of the episode intros and highlights. Incredible.