Or: "There's no reason to live!"
Sunday, May 30, 2021
Wednesday, May 26, 2021
T and T - Season 3
It's Part 3 of my full review and synopsis of the series "T and T" and while you might recall that I proclaimed Season 2 to be the lowest point of the series, this post is the lowest point of my life. Enjoy.
WikiPedia Sucks
About Season 3, Wikipedia has this to say:
"Season three saw a return to action-based stories."
Well to that I can only say "citation needed" because that's a lie. In Season 3, "T and T" was bought by the Family Channel after running in syndication for the first two (according to Wikipedia) and, being a family show, the action was almost completely removed (you can't say completely removed because nothing about this show is consistent). You can definitively say that Season 3 has the least amount of action.... and it's not even close. Action was originally part of the formula of the show - each and every episode you knew you were going to see at least a car chase or a fist fight or a person holding a gun but not shooting as someone tackled them from behind. Even when Season 2 got "serious", there was still something action-oriented. But not only does Season 3 emerge with no-action episodes, it even tries to generate and focus on "comedy." Oof. More on that later.
The Theme (Updated)
A New T
The Plots
The "Comedy"
The Most 80s Episode - Season 3
Random Actors
The Mr. T Cinematic Universe
Conclusion
Monday, May 24, 2021
T and T - Season 2
There is yet more to say about this stupid show! This is a continuation from Part 1.
Season 2 - The Movie!
Searching on imdb for "T and T" yields "Craig T. Nelson" as its first result. But if you make it past that, you'll find there's an entry for a TV show AND a movie called "Straight Line" with its own thumbnail and plot, etc. but with a cast that's eerily similar to "T and T."
The reason is that "T and T" Season 2 starts out with a 4-part episode that apparently originally aired as a made-for-TV movie. And the name of the 4-parter is "Straight Line." I have to say right off the bat that I have never heard of a 4-part episode of television anywhere else in my life. I could be wrong but I can't think of one. Can you?
You might recall from Part 1 that one of my main complaints about the show is how it took itself too seriously to be the fun series I was hoping for. Well, starting out with this made-for-TV movie, the series reaches the grittiest, darkest and most depressing point of the show's history.
You see, a black man is running for Mayor of "the city" and, if elected, he will be the first black mayor in the history of "the city." Meanwhile there is a gang of leather-clad white supremacists who are stoking racial division. During a rally, a bomb goes off and kills a woman. The woman happens to be the mother of one of the troubled teens in the gang. So the boy, out of shame, doesn't even bother to check whether his mother is alive but instead runs to the nearest bridge to commit suicide. Having fun yet? And his mother IS dead so good guess! Turner talks him down off the ledge and gets on the case to fight the charge that the boy killed his own mother with a bomb. Oh yeah, and the black candidate is later killed by an assassin's bullet while giving a speech at his church.
There's actually way more to the plot than that, it goes into other areas but it's all depressing and the less said the better. From my notes, I caught a couple highlights to convey the extremes: a white supremacist actually calls Turner the N-word and Turner chokes a man with a pool cue. At the end, the main villain is (inadvertently) hanged by a chain around his neck.
Needless to say, this is the absolute lowest point of the series for me. It's dark, it's depressing, it's completely unpleasant to watch. If they were really tackling hard issues, I could be interested but I don't think they're even doing that. And it's such a jarring shift from anything that's happened before in the series, it just seems like a huge misstep.
The Formulas
Despite the fact that nothing before or since will be like the first 4 episodes of Season 2, it does seem like the creators of the show attempted to make Season 2 darker and more serious that Season 1. The clothes-changing montages are gone, in fact Turner's suits are gone, the courthouse scenes are minimized. In this Season, Turner has an office at the gym and people come to his office looking for a detective (private investigator) like it's a 40s style film noir.
Also in this season, Turner wears informal 80s clothes. Like I said, the suits are gone. I don't know why I'm talking about this except that Season 1 made such a big deal about his clothes it seems that this must be important somehow; like some seismic shift has taken place right under us.
The Theme (Updated)
In Part 1, I noted the humorous aspect of the opening theme that it was a bit like "Too Many Cooks" in that it introduced a large cast of characters that would mostly never be seen in the episode. Well in Season 2 the theme remains unchanged even though all those characters are gone for good (with 1 exception). Whereas in Season 1 you would be introduced to characters rarely making an appearance, now in Season 2 you get introduce to characters who NEVER make an appearance.
Thinking of the Children
Do you remember the kid who Turner rescued from the "gang" in the Season 2 "movie"? No, and you shouldn't. But he exists. And in Season 2 he becomes a new somewhat regular character who shows up in many episodes... but not all... nothing about this show is ever consistent. T becomes a mentor/father figure to him and his character is that of the plucky kid who always hangs around T and wants to be involved in the dangerous crime fighting. T tells him it's too dangerous and doesn't let him come but he comes anyway and does things.
To me, the addition of his character looks like an obvious ploy to get more kids watching the show. With a kid in the show, there's someone kids can identify with, they vicariously get to hang around Mr. T. This is a natural connection - kids love T and so the show should naturally be aimed at kids.
There's only one problem with this of course - do you remember how the show is trying to be dark and gritty? Yeah, that kind of conflicts with trying to attract children, it even conflicts with having a kid in the cast. So it just becomes a mess - some episodes become light and innocent but then the next week they're dealing with something heavy and adult. Again, nothing about this show is consistent from season to season or even from episode to episode. If you ever think you understand it, you don't.
The Most 80s Episode - Season 2
Oh boy, speaking of "not for kids"...
The most 80s episode of Season 1 had The Fat Boys guesting, and funnily enough, in Season 2 we have Prince protege Vanity. In Season 2 Episode 6, Vanity guest stars as a reporter who goes undercover to work in a mud wrestling club.
When mud wrestling was a fad in the 80s I remember being aware of it but not really understanding it. Now that I'm an adult, I obviously understand more but I still don't think I really understand it. Suffice to say that it was a fad of that time and so Vanity + mud wrestling + Mr. T is pure 80s... They're not wrestling together, mind you, just saying that they're both in the episode.
And on the subject of the 80s, Season 2 is where Turner first uses a car phone. No explanation of it, no comment necessary, he has a car phone now, so what?
This Thumbnail
Here's imdb's thumbnail for Season 2 Episode "The Contender." Enjoy:
Soak it in, boys. See it in your dreams, see it in your nightmares. This character's name happens to be Kevin Hart. Not that anything can be very interesting after that picture.Amy Taler
Conclusion - Season 2
Sunday, May 23, 2021
T and T - Season 1
"T.S. Turner was a city-smart kid fighting his way off the street, until he was framed for a crime he didn’t commit. Amy Taler was a young, crusading lawyer. She mounted an appeal to put Turner back on the street, this time in a suit and tie, working as a private detective. Together they are—T. and T."
The Theme
The Formula - Season 1
The Clothes Montage
Where Are We?
The Most 80s Episode - Season 1
Conclusion - Season 1
"When T. and T. keep a young offender out the detention center, the boy finds the path to rehabilitation fraught with danger and violence."
Friday, May 21, 2021
The Squirrel Maze 2.0
I hesitate to post these viral videos because I assume people see them without me, but I figure just in case... here's the second/new squirrel maze video.
Friday, May 14, 2021
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
Monday, May 10, 2021
Late Night - Audience Member Doesn't Believe in Voting
A public service announcement for the upcoming local primaries.
Friday, May 7, 2021
MST3K Kickstarter Livestream
For the last week or so Mystery Science Theater 3000 has been doing livestreams nearly every night. It's been amazingly consistent and has given me a sudden abundance of nightly entertainment. Most of the streams have featured the new(er) cast watching classic episodes, something that didn't sound like much at first but turned out to be way more hilarious and enjoyable than I had hoped. One stream was the cast playing Jackbox games like quiplash and so forth,which, again was fantastic. I decided not to post them all on ye olde blog because each is 2 hours and it was nightly so it just seemed like too much content.
But now this is the last day of the Kickstarter and there is one more livestream to close it out. The stream starts tonight at 6PM Eastern. The Kickstarter, by the way, has already reached every goal and so the new season will be a full 12 episodes. One interesting bit of news is that they will be renting out a theater to have a live "Grand Finale" showing of the last episode of the season. And the location of the live event just so happens to be in the Philadelphia area.
So anyways, all goals have been met so tonight's livestream stream will be about piling on, maybe some additional goals or episodes, maybe some additional bonus rewards and probably some surprise guests. Check it out if you have a free night and you're into that sort of thing.
Tuesday, May 4, 2021
Sunday, May 2, 2021
Let's Game It Out - The Theme Park That Ends Reality
One time me and a friend were hanging out and playing The Sims and we created a few creative ridiculous torture scenarios for the AI. The one that sticks out was: we built a house as an elaborate labyrinth (literally) where at the edge of the house was a single room with a coffee machine and at the middle of the labyrinth was the only toilet. In case it's not obvious, the Sim would drink coffee, have to pee and have to have to navigate a maze to reach the bathroom.
It was so funny at the time and it's a great memory. But I never thought I could turn that unique experience of sadistic silliness into a career...
Saturday, May 1, 2021
Happy Don Beveridge Day
Happy Don Beveridge Day, May 1st, everyone. As it is still a new holiday, the exact tradition of celebration is not entirely settled. Some say you eat bagels, some suggest ice cream. Some people ask themselves, "Do you think we're going to get smoothies?"
My preference, and what I plan to do today, is to order and consume a Burger King Whopper - I will tell the crew to push the Whopper Button.