Monday, February 8, 2016

The Super Bowl of Schlock / Super Bulls

This post is part of a continuing mission to boycott every Super Bowl in which I don't have a rooting interest and replace the watching of it with various very non-Super-Bowlish activities.

(Pre-2011, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015).

This year was kind of an off year. Firstly, I didn't really plan too much ahead of time - due to problems at work, I wasn't really fertile with imagination. Then, when the day came, I was stuck in bed, feeling the physical and psychological effects of some tainted ice cream I had eaten the day before.

In such a lowly state, the order of the day was simply finding something fun, something easy to watch, something low-key; finding the entertainment that best compliments a warm blanket and hot soup. For that purpose, what could be better than plowing through a "Best of the Worst" marathon on youtube?

In "Best of the Worst" the "gang" from RedLetterMedia watches three B-Movies (usually on VHS), discusses each one, analyzes them, breaks them down and then decides which movie is "Best of the Worst". If any movie is determined to be especially egregious, it will be destroyed in some creative manner.

In this episode, the gang watches movies from the dinosaur craze of the mid-nineties. This episode features Academy Award Winner Whoopi Goldberg and Academy Award Watcher Denise Richards.



There is also a sub-genre of "Best of the Worst" called "Wheel of the Worst". In "Wheel of the Worst", the guys put even worse and more bizarre VHS tapes on a wheel and spins it three times. The three movies that the wheel lands on are the three that they must watch.

This episode features the classic VHS "How Can I Tell if I'm Really in Love?" which stars Justine Bateman, Jason Bateman, Ted Danson and a step ladder. Or is there a step ladder? Either way, it's a star-studded affair. But even with that level of star power, it may not be enough to match "The Osteoporosis Dance" which features no stars (unless you count Tay Zonday) but does feature old people flailing about semi-randomly.



Part 2


Feeling slightly better, I was ready to take on some amount of excitement. So I watched Game 1 of the 1990-91 NBA Finals: Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls vs. Magic Johnson and the Lakers. Sometimes you just gotta relive the Michael Jordan glory days. Also the Marv Albert glory days, as he calls the game.

One of the great "bonus add-ons" that you get with this era is reliving the Chicago intro that featured "Sirius". From my memory, I thought the intro stopped at "Sirius" but I could have sworn I heard it transition fully into "Eye in the Sky" on this particular occasion. I THINK that's what I heard, I could be wrong.



The music fun didn't stop there. You know what music seriously dates the game? When "Hangin' Tough" played during a timeout. Man, oh man.

But then there were a lot of ways that 1992 has started to really look old. There were a large number of men in the crowd wearing pink shirts, for one. And the arena had a large banner ad for Winston Cigarettes. I wonder if those even exist anymore. Also, the cheerleaders were wearing the old-fashioned pleated cheerleader skirts that no one wears anymore. NBA cheerleaders these days wear... wait, what do they wear?

As for the game itself, it's a pretty good game. It was close, exciting till the end but the Lakers won. Oh well, the Bulls will hopefully bounce back. Game 2 takes place in a few days / 25 years ago.

And that was the Super Bowl for me.

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