Return of the Wolfwaker

For centuries the Wolfwaker had journeyed in solitude, thousands of light-years from the lush bosom of the Wolf Planet. He was the Chrylon 4 Star System's most gifted warrior, yet his nights were spent alone, huddled in his starship upon a meager buckwheat cushion, harmonic spear at his side.

And each new dawn, as he woke from restless slumber to the blinding haze of a white-hot intergalactic sun, he would raise his face to the heavens and wonder, "Will I ever know love?" 

And so it was that one day, a beautiful she-wolf appeared to him - thousands of years his junior - with a delicate snout and coat so supple, it set the very ions of the Wolfwaker's synthetic consciousness ablaze. For seven blissful harvests she shared his buckwheat cushion and the Wolfwaker at last knew peace in his loins. 

But he knew also that his destiny lay elsewhere and that he must travel onward without her... Ever onward, a scorching pillar of fusion flame, deeper and further amongst the stars, defending the wolves against sentinent, hyper-violent robotic overlords and waking them when they slept...

Conan Reviews Video Games - Tomb Raider

In yet another edition of "Clueless Gamer", Conan reviews the new "Tomb Raider" game.

It's excellent.

Conan Reviews Video Games - Halo 4

In this edition of "Clueless Gamer", Conan reviews the new game "Halo 4". This is a bit of a special review because it's the first time that he's reviewed a game in which he voices a character.




You can watch Conan and Andy record the voices for their characters here.

Between Two Ferns - Oscar Edition

A special new two-part episode of "Between Two Ferns" focuses on Oscar nominees.

Part 1:


Part 2:

Downton Sixbey Is Back

Downton Sixbey is back with all new episodes. Carson Daily had yet another hot air balloon accident and the family must scramble to find an heir.

Super Bowl: Steelers vs. Magnolias

Of course I have an ongoing project to boycott the Super Bowl as long as I don't have a rooting interest (Pre-2011, 2011, 2012). This year, the theme I chose was "chick flicks". But which ones? I tried to think of the two most prominent "chick flicks" of all-time. I debated and discussed it at length with others - and thanks to everyone who contributed! My conclusion, controversial as it may be, was that the two movies at the very top of the list must be "Steel Magnolias" and "Beaches".

That was my decision. Then I called an audible... the third series of "Downton Abbey" and the new episode was airing opposite the Super Bowl anyway so "Beaches" was scrapped. "Downton Abbey" is a fantastic show but as much as I love it, it certainly qualifies for the "feminine" moniker. I feel no shame. As long as John Bates and Anna Smith end up together, everything will be just fine. Also, I hope Lady Edith Crawley finds someone - she's been so unlucky in love! Poor, poor, Lady Edith...

Alright....

Steel Magnolias (1989)

"Steel Magnolias" is about a group of women. These women love each other. They're there for each other - in good times and bad. They gossip, discuss clothes, do their hair and vent about their relationships. In this world, Men do exist - but only barely. Men are a net evil on the world but only marginally... and these women, supporting each other as they are, can persevere past these problems.  Separately, life might be impossible... but together, they know they can make it through. I know everything with them is going to be A-OK... and, oh yeah, the script calls for just one more thing.... BRING ON THE TERMINAL ILLNESS!!!

Given that I've still never seen "Beaches" or "The Lake House", seeing and enjoying "Steel Magnolias" in the theater is my greatest "chick flick cred" achievement. If I listen to the conventional wisdom of society, I shouldn't really enjoy it. But, watching it again, I still really like it. I like dramas where the plot is completely character-driven. I like dramas that follow the characters over a period of many years - showing the full spectrum of life experiences. And the dialogue is real and smartly written. The Lifetime "melodrama" (such as it is) only comprises a small percentage of the movie - most of it is large portions of southern fried comedy - but even so, it is touching. The acting (Shirley MacLaine, Olympia Dukakis, Sally Field, Julia Roberts, Dolly Parton) is absolutely top-notch.

One of the few male actors in the movie is Tom Skerritt who has the unhappy task of informing "the ladies" that Goose died. That guy can't catch a break.

Overall, a really, genuinely good movie. Not earth-shattering, of course, but better than most.

Better Than "The Notebook" / 10.

The Super Bell

I was talking to a friend and we got onto the topic of local tourist traps. We've lived in the same area all of our lives but still not seen the local sites that people MUST see. So we made a day of it, today.

Eastern State Penitentiary

Built in 1829, Eastern State Penitentiary is the first prison built in the United States and the prison that became the model for all prisons afterward. It revolutionized the penal system. For a year, it housed Al Capone. There were also several escapes although only one person evaded recapture. It was closed in 1971 and fallen into disrepair so it has the whole "rotting concrete and rusted iron bar / haunted mansion" thing going on.

Now, this is not my kind of thing. It was a compromise because the other guy wanted to see it. But I will say that I was pleasantly surprised how interesting it was. It was much more historical and educational and much less about general creepiness than I was expecting. It turns out it isn't a horror show, it was actually quite a revolutionary and enlightened way of treating criminals.

Here's the downside: it's 20 degrees out, the tour is an hour long and the prison isn't heated. Yikes.

Independence Hall

Independence Hall should need no introduction. It's the home of the Continental Congress, it's where the Declaration of Independence was signed, it's where the United States Constitution was ratified.

Now this is my kind of place. It speaks for itself. I love this stuff. The tour only lasted 20-30 minutes but about 15 minutes in, I saw people pulling out the cell phones to check facebook. That bothered me. If you don't want to be here, don't be.

The Liberty Bell

The Liberty Bell (according to legend but not actually) rang out and cracked when the Declaration of Independence was approved.

I'm kind of torn on the bell (much like the bell itself). It's a tremendous and iconic symbol but it's only a symbol. Seeing the bell is just seeing a bell. Still, it's the kind of thing I can cross off the list.

Here's the interesting thing about the bell that never occurred to me until today. The bell was cast to have Leviticus 25:10 written on it: "Proclaim LIBERTY throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof." That's where the name comes from, what's so interesting about that? The interesting thing is that it was cast in 1751 - way before the colonies had any thought about declaring independence. So why was it ordered to have that verse? No one knows. Not bad, huh?

Miscellaneous

In the same area as Independence Hall is Congress Hall. Congress Hall is the site of the first Congress. On the first floor is where the original House of Representatives met. The second floor was the first Senate.

Close by is the birthplace of Edgar Allen Poe. We skipped that. Also not far away is the Betsy Ross house. We skipped that too. We did drive past the birthplace of Larry Fine (of Three Stooges fame).

The day ended with a trip for cheesesteaks from Pat's and Geno's. Buying a cheesesteak from one of these places is something everyone's supposed to do. It's not just hype that the cheesesteak was invented at Pat's (there is a sign) but it's hype that they're better than other places. If you ask me, they're about the same.

The Super Bowl

The day of this trip happened to coincide with the day of the Super Bowl. I thought that might play to our advantage and perhaps there would be no lines or waiting. I was incorrect. It should have been obvious that the set of people who are interested in the Super Bowl does not intersect much with the set of people who are tourists. It wasn't terrible though.