The Penguin - The Escape

 Burgess Meredith (as the Penguin) has a song???

As insane as it is, it's not so surprising. They made records for everything in the 60s. This track comes from an entire Batman album.

The comments section of this video speculates that The Penguin invented Gangsta Rap.

Various TV Series Online

 

Just discovered a number of TV series are available online.

First, the entire series of Creature Comforts (The UK Version) is on youtube. Season 1 is above.

Secondly, the entire Batman (1966) TV show is on Amazon, free with ads. It's always been a goal of mine to watch every episode one day so I'm doing that.

The commercials during Batman, reveal that (as far as I can tell) every episode of "The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross" is also on Amazon, free with ads. With 31 seasons, you'd have to be a crazy person to watch them all, but I might. Though watching a PBS show with commercials feels like a violation.

The commercials during Batman also reveal that the episode of "Supermarket Sweeps" from the 90s are available to view. I was not really aware of this show but it strikes me as novel that one can watch old game shows. Will we get full seasons from the 1980s of "The Price is Right" next? Who knows. They already have the Family Feud with that creep Richard Dawkins.

Family Feud - Batman vs. Gilligan's Island

 

"Batman" + "Hogan's Heroes" + "Gilligan's Island"? What is this, a dream?

I've always found the Richard Dawson kissing the women thing to be so creepy. It's either totally creepy or I'm just really jealous.

It seems odd to have a "Gilligan's Island" team without Gilligan.

RIP Adam West

This past week I saw a Batman '66 action figure and thought back to how big that show was to me when I was a kid. I can't put into words how exciting and cool it was to me at the time. Some of that excitement survives to this day. If it was available on Netflix, I'd probably still watch it regularly. But don't bother looking for it.

I imagine the Batman tv series had a similar effect on Conan O'Brien. Something that perhaps isn't widely known is that, in his time between writing for SNL and The Simpsons, Conan created a TV series starring Adam West. The series, called Lookwell, was co-created by Robert Smigel who would go on to be Conan's first head writer at Late Night.

West starred as Lookwell, a washed up but self-important actor who was so famous for playing a detective on TV that he begins to believe he can solve crimes in real life. The combination comedy/mystery would presumably see him taking on a new crime every week using the powers of acting.

Although the pilot for Lookwell was produced, it was not picked up. But you can see the series' lone episode on youtube.

Continue? - Batman

After the show begins on a religious note (?!), the guys at Continue move on to more mundane topics like mechanical forks, the Axis Chemicals on I-95 and being cool in the 90's.

They also play Batman.

IMDB 250 8.5 - The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Of course everyone's already seen this movie so this is all a bit pointless. Everyone agrees it's a good movie so I'll be focusing more on the negative to make it more interesting.

Bi-Villainy

I've always felt that the "Dark Knight" tradition of having two villains per movie is a bad thing. In the first one, the Scarecrow added nothing to the movie - they should have focused completely on Ja Rule.

The second one is much worse. You've got Keith Ledger as the Joker. Every second devoted to Harvey Dent is a waste of everyone's time. He's half good, he's half bad, he's all I don't care. Of course, Ledger's performance is so great, even the scenes focusing on Batman suffer by comparison.

In the Dark Knight Rises, the extra villain is Anne Hathaway's Catwoman. Even though this is the most acceptable instance of the three, at almost 3 hours long, it could have easily been omitted.

Bane

I don't know anything about comic books but it seems to me that in the great pantheon of Batman villains, Bane is quite far down the list. Ok, maybe the Riddler doesn't fit the tone. And, hey, maybe the Penguin is on vacation. But how many rungs down the baddy ladder do you have to go down before you reach Bane.

That aside, does it work in the movie? Kinda. I mean, Bane is a good villain in theory but the voice is ridiculous. Every time he opens his exhaust vent it's like a Batman villain parody. I was trying to nail down what his voice reminds me of and the closest I could come is it's something like Dr. Evil meets Yoda. But then when he's making his sweeping pronouncements to the citizens of Gotham I kept having flashbacks of Theodore Roosevelt. You can't expect me to root against Teddy!

Speaking of speeches. There's one scene where Bane addresses a stadium of people over the PA system. I can't imagine they strived for accuracy in this scene. If you truly combined Bane's own distortion with that of a public address system in a stadium, it would sound like he was taking your McDonald's drive-thru order (McBane?). It wouldn't work. He'd have control of a nuclear bomb but no one to tell it to. In all the years I've watched the Peanuts specials, I never assumed Charlie Brown's mom was threatening nuclear holocaust.

Conclusion

Obviously, "The Dark Knight Rises" is a good movie. Its special effects are phenomenal, great acting, great direction, great writing. Michael Caine gives a particularly strong performance as Alfred. From an IMDB 250 perspective it seems pretty overrated, but it is well worth seeing.

7/10.
Total Top "250" Movies Seen: 366.

Batman : The Criminal Surmises

Blog Issue #398 - Batman: The Criminal Surmises

Summer Issue. 10¢.

Before I begin my remarks, I'd like to thank you all for coming here today. In addition to the Confederacy of Criminals, the Scofflaw Society and Ne'er Do Well Nation, we have joining us today, The Penguin, The Joker, Catwoman, The Riddler and Bane (who I've never heard of before but who, I'm assured by others, has some sort of significant history with Batman). We are honored to have you here.

[Polite Applause]

Gentlemen, you all know too well the problem of the Bat Man. He has foiled every plot, he's ruined every scheme and every attack against him thus far has failed. In short, he's been a thorn in our side for too long. And that is why I've come up with a plan to get rid of our problem permanently. That's right. I have a plan to kill the Bat Man.

[General Audience Surprise: "Rhubarb Rhubarb Hubbub Rhubarb".]

Settle down. It can't be that surprising. It really can't be. Gentlemen, the plan is simple. The plan is perfect. And the plan is...

[Clears Throat.]

We shoot him .... in the face.

[General Audience Disbelief: "Hubbub Rhubarb Rhubarb"]

Settle down, settle down. Please now draw your attention to the photo I have here - (Figure 1-A).

[Figure 1-A.]

As you can see, "Batman" wears a special suit that's of such advanced technology, it renders anyone wearing it totally bulletproof. However the suit design has one distinct flaw: uh, it's this giant area around his face. Generally, the more you cover yourself with special bulletproof material, the more bulletproof you become. Batman, for some reason, has decided that "100% invincibility" is too much. He's decided, instead, to make himself about 95% invincible.

[General "Impressed" Sounds]

[Under His Breath] Oh, geez. 

Yes, I agree, that is a very high percentage, gentlemen. But you might notice that as high a percentage as it is, it still leaves %5 of his body totally vulnerable to attack.... the 5% being his fat face.... His face is exposed..... You can hurt his face!  There's nothing there. All you have to do is shoot his face!

[...]

[A Long Sigh]

Look, in the past, we've tried every kind of attack from knives, to acid, to flamethrowers, mind control devices, genetic mutation, the ideas were virtually limitless. We've tried so many different types of attack that I've gotten the distinct impression - talking to you all - that the general consensus is "we've tried everything". In fact, I remember in the 60's it was a bizarre mixture of overly elaborate Rube Goldberg devices and just going straight at him with our fists. But the 60s were a confusing time for everybody and I digress...

A million methods tried and failed and yet all we had to do all this time was have someone, with any semblance of aim, balance or luck, point a gun and fire at the one part of his body that is totally vulnerable to virtually any harming thing. A gun is the best method but a bow and arrow will do. How about a blowgun? A rock in a sling would work. Ever heard of a laser sight? Heck, if you have a sniper rifle, you don't even need to be on the same block! It's so simple, it's absolutely unbelievable that no one's done this yet! You see?! We can defeat him and it wouldn't be that hard.

I'll now open it up for questions.... Yes, you in the hood!

.....Uh huh.... Yeah... Right, right.

Okay, in case you didn't hear, the question was "What about shooting him in the back?". The answer is No. That will not work. That falls under the "bulletproof" area that I talked about before. Thanks. Anyone else? Yes, you in the back!

.. Uh huh.....uh?....... ahh...... mmkay...

Okay, the question was "What about putting him in a machine that reflects and magnifies sound in ever increasing increments...." and then it went on from there, I don't know if I caught all of it but.... No. A million times, No. I can't tell you enough how much that plan is bound to fail. Really. Believe me. (Under his breath) This is getting sad. Anyone else?

...Mmm. ......Okay... Right.

Okay, the question was "What about a boomerang with some sort of attachment that shoots shrink-rays and has anyone tried that already?" Look, I don't know. It's certainly possible that someone has, I'm no historian... but I assure you without even thinking about it that it won't work. It hasn't worked, it won't work and I don't think you've heard a word I've said. Unless you meant to throw it at his face, was that the question?... No? Okay, then, no.

I'm wondering if this has all been a waste of everyone's time. I think this is a good time to break for lunch. Please enjoy the complimentary buffet and we'll meet back here at 1:30 to do some workshopping.

[A Smattering of Applause]

Wheel of Carpet Samples Goes Glacial

Before the Roger Waters interview, the Wheel of Carpet Samples just went glacial...

Spoiler Alert: Tonight's mystery sample is "Brown".

Part 1:

Part 2:

Full Disclosure: The sponsor of Wheel of Carpet Samples, batmaneatingataco.com is also a sponsor of this site.