Aaaan listen, Brian Williams has a new one...
Monday, June 16, 2014
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Conan Reviews Video Games - Super Smash Bros. WiiU
In this very special edition of Clueless Gamer, Conan reviews Super Smash Bros for WiiU, a game that isn't even out yet...
John Adams.
John Adams.
Monday, June 9, 2014
IMDB 250 - Rang De Basanti (2006)
Rang De Basanti (2006)
Awful. Awful. Awful. Paper-thin characters, paper-thin plot, totally unrealistic but here's the good news - they managed to tell it all in just a hair under three hours. There must be lots of scenes left on the cutting room floor. To top it all off, it's a movie that has the audacity to murder. Huzzah! At one point, a guy joins the air-force and it's a total of 5 minutes of screen time later that the news announces his plane crashed. That's probably the world record for quickest Goose. Just tortuous, stupid manipulation.
I won't bother reviewing this movie in the usual way - it's not worth it. I don't even care. There's no way this should be considered even a good movie, let alone one of the best. If there are enough dumb people out there to keep it in the IMDB 250 then we all deserve what we get.
The good news is, this is IMDB keeps yearly "snapshots" of the Top 250 list. I'd seen every movie in every list from 2007-2012 and this is the final movie I had to watch to complete the list for 2013. The only problem is I just looked and they recently added more snapshot lists going all the way back to 1996 so that'll keep me busy for a while.
It's funny to see what the list of 1996 looks like. Keep in mind that the internet was only for nerds back then so that explains why "Star Trek: First Contact" is somehow the seventh greatest movie of all-time. But the nerd factor of the internet can't explain everything so there are quite a few other surprises. There's not one but TWO Wallace and Gromit shorts in the top 10. Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke" at 27. "That Thing You Do" at 35? It's a good movie but how'd that happen? The Transformers movie is on there but not the one you're thinking of... The cartoon from the 80s is on the list. So surreal.
Anyways...
3/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 383.
Awful. Awful. Awful. Paper-thin characters, paper-thin plot, totally unrealistic but here's the good news - they managed to tell it all in just a hair under three hours. There must be lots of scenes left on the cutting room floor. To top it all off, it's a movie that has the audacity to murder. Huzzah! At one point, a guy joins the air-force and it's a total of 5 minutes of screen time later that the news announces his plane crashed. That's probably the world record for quickest Goose. Just tortuous, stupid manipulation.
I won't bother reviewing this movie in the usual way - it's not worth it. I don't even care. There's no way this should be considered even a good movie, let alone one of the best. If there are enough dumb people out there to keep it in the IMDB 250 then we all deserve what we get.
The good news is, this is IMDB keeps yearly "snapshots" of the Top 250 list. I'd seen every movie in every list from 2007-2012 and this is the final movie I had to watch to complete the list for 2013. The only problem is I just looked and they recently added more snapshot lists going all the way back to 1996 so that'll keep me busy for a while.
It's funny to see what the list of 1996 looks like. Keep in mind that the internet was only for nerds back then so that explains why "Star Trek: First Contact" is somehow the seventh greatest movie of all-time. But the nerd factor of the internet can't explain everything so there are quite a few other surprises. There's not one but TWO Wallace and Gromit shorts in the top 10. Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke" at 27. "That Thing You Do" at 35? It's a good movie but how'd that happen? The Transformers movie is on there but not the one you're thinking of... The cartoon from the 80s is on the list. So surreal.
Anyways...
3/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 383.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
IMDB 250 - The Hobbit : The Desolation of Smaug
The Hobbit : The Desolation of Smaug (2013)
In my previous review of the first "Hobbit" movie I said the movie was enjoyable but I didn't understand the whole magic aspect. This movie picks up where the last one left off and runs with it... and from start to finish, I didn't understand a single thing in it. Not a single thing. I don't know why anything happens to anything else. I'm watching it saying to myself "why?", "what?" and "why?" and also "what?".
At one point, the gang is off on their quest doing the whole "quest" business and Gandalf says peace out and just goes off and does his own thing. I even think he says at the time, "This place is dead anyway", but I'd have to rewatch it to be sure. As much as I didn't understand the "A" story, I understood the Gandalf sub-plot even less. Much less. From memory: he goes to a place, he talks with a guy, he sees a vision, he turns the "Lost" wheel and transports to another Dharma station. Is it wrong to think he's bored? Maybe he's senile and wandering aimlessly. I hope he comes back to the movie at some point.
So without any understanding of the larger picture (or any of the specific details), I'm left with the fantasy and spectacle aspects. Even if I don't know why the giant spiders are attacking, between the spiders and dwarves it's easy to know who to root for. There are many "action" scenes in this movie and they work are at least still enjoyable on a simple visceral suspense level. It would be pretty hard to not enjoy a giant battle or a giant dragon or a giant battle with a giant dragon.
6/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 382.
In my previous review of the first "Hobbit" movie I said the movie was enjoyable but I didn't understand the whole magic aspect. This movie picks up where the last one left off and runs with it... and from start to finish, I didn't understand a single thing in it. Not a single thing. I don't know why anything happens to anything else. I'm watching it saying to myself "why?", "what?" and "why?" and also "what?".
At one point, the gang is off on their quest doing the whole "quest" business and Gandalf says peace out and just goes off and does his own thing. I even think he says at the time, "This place is dead anyway", but I'd have to rewatch it to be sure. As much as I didn't understand the "A" story, I understood the Gandalf sub-plot even less. Much less. From memory: he goes to a place, he talks with a guy, he sees a vision, he turns the "Lost" wheel and transports to another Dharma station. Is it wrong to think he's bored? Maybe he's senile and wandering aimlessly. I hope he comes back to the movie at some point.
So without any understanding of the larger picture (or any of the specific details), I'm left with the fantasy and spectacle aspects. Even if I don't know why the giant spiders are attacking, between the spiders and dwarves it's easy to know who to root for. There are many "action" scenes in this movie and they work are at least still enjoyable on a simple visceral suspense level. It would be pretty hard to not enjoy a giant battle or a giant dragon or a giant battle with a giant dragon.
6/10.
Total "Top 250" Movies Seen: 382.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Who Cares Wins: Conan Edition
This is more interesting than "funny". In the 1980s, Conan did a training video for music salesmen and, for no reason, he decided to reveal it to the world recently...
Seems like they need to release the full-length video. What customer would actually be placated by the salesman saying, "And I do respect your knowledge about guitars"?
Seems like they need to release the full-length video. What customer would actually be placated by the salesman saying, "And I do respect your knowledge about guitars"?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
