Build Your Own Cuckoo Clock

 

A good while ago I opined that I would love a "build your own" slot machine kit. I figured it was unrealistic because the amount of work to create the kit compared to the demand probably makes such an endeavor unprofitable.

But now there's a "build your own" cuckoo clock kit, which is pretty close. Such an interesting idea, though I'm unsure if I will pull the trigger on it. I have no need for the end result and I'm skeptical about how hands-on it will be with the clock mechanism itself - does the clock just come as a single piece or are you going to be assembling intricate gears?

Interesting, I thought.

Amazon Ad with Misspelling

 This book that Amazon is advertising has a misspelled cover.

"The Sunfower Festival"

The First Plinko and Etc.

In a previous post, "Various TV Series Online," I spread the good news that the entire "Joy of Painting" series with Bob Ross was on Amazon. I thought that this was so singular and special it never occurred to me to check my assumptions. It turns out that the entire series is also on youtube and has been for a few years without me knowing.

They also have new shows (different painter), a podcast (not sure what it is and how that makes sense)  and are currently doing a Memorial Day Marathon, which you can be just in time for.

In that same previous post I speculated about the future of "The Price is Right" coming to streaming. I should have also checked those assumptions - I think I was looking at Amazon at the time - because there is an official "The Price is Right - The Barker Era" youtube channel. The only hitch is that it's a highlights channel and not full episodes.

So with that in mind, here is the first ever game of Plinko:

I may be wrong but it seems like an excessive amount of explanation for such a simple premise. And it really feels like Bob's trying to sell it, like it's a failing game that needs help.

Searching for the Writings of Thomas Jefferson on Amazon Yields a Slinky

 

In 1785, the Continental Congress created a report proposing what kind of money unit should be established in the United States - coinage of gold, silver, copper, etc. Titled "Propositions respecting the coinage of gold, silver, and copper," it was partly authored by Thomas Jefferson. Searching for this document on Amazon returns an error and a slinky.

But they make the slinky out of metal rather than paper, so there's that.

Various TV Series Online

 

Just discovered a number of TV series are available online.

First, the entire series of Creature Comforts (The UK Version) is on youtube. Season 1 is above.

Secondly, the entire Batman (1966) TV show is on Amazon, free with ads. It's always been a goal of mine to watch every episode one day so I'm doing that.

The commercials during Batman, reveal that (as far as I can tell) every episode of "The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross" is also on Amazon, free with ads. With 31 seasons, you'd have to be a crazy person to watch them all, but I might. Though watching a PBS show with commercials feels like a violation.

The commercials during Batman also reveal that the episode of "Supermarket Sweeps" from the 90s are available to view. I was not really aware of this show but it strikes me as novel that one can watch old game shows. Will we get full seasons from the 1980s of "The Price is Right" next? Who knows. They already have the Family Feud with that creep Richard Dawkins.

What is the Value of a Dollar?

 One of the things you're supposed to be taught when you're a kid is "the value of a dollar". I've never I've technically learned that in that the value of a dollar seems to always be changing. But I've learned the lesson, in essence, since I'm pretty cheap.

So my cheap self is shopping Amazon for "Northanger Abbey" by Jane Austen. The second result that comes up costs $1 and looks like this...

But the FIRST result that comes up is FREE and looks like this...

 So now I guess my cheapness has run up against my sense of reason and vanity. Is it worth one dollar to not have a book with a cheap Dime Store Romance Novel cover in my library - for my sense of self, no never have to explain what this book is, to let reason prevail? Or is the cover a book unimportant and free is free?

A third option is to just grab the free version from Project Gutenberg they went with this cover:

I mean... it's better. But what were they thinking? That's a Math book from 1986. Jane Austen wrote Romances in the Victorian era, her works are considered classics, it just makes no sense.

Amazon UnMystery UnBoxing

Previously on Lost, we learned that a box of mysterious contents was headed my way. Today that box arrived. As I opened it, the Schrödinger's cat particles in superposition collapsed to...

A 12 Pack of Sunkist Cherry Limeade. Amazing.

This is in contrast with what my original order was, which was....

A 12 Pack of Sunkist Cherry Limeade. 

You know, I made a big deal about the randomness of what a wrong order meant but just when you think you have a handle on randomness, you have no concept of what true randomness means. In trying to guess what the wrong order might be, I would never have guessed the random selection would be the same as the very thing I had ordered. What are the chances?!

According to the email, they're still sending my original order to make up for the mixup so I better  like this stuff.

Adventures with Amazon Shipping 2... And the Legend Continues...

In a previous installment, I experienced an Amazon shipping oddity and joked that I wanted to order more things just to see what would happen. Since then, I have had deliveries with completely mundane delivery photos. But now there is a new adventure, not with Amazon but rather a company that is on Amazon.

Having ordered a product, and after it shipped, I got an update saying:

"IMPORTANT

On Friday 9/6/2019 our shipping software ______ had a glitch. This glitch caused the shipping labels to be put on the wrong packing slip. In turn you received something other that what you were expecting or the incorrect quantity. Over the weekend we saw this error. Even though this is going to be an expensive error on our part we are making it right and sending the correct items out on Monday 9/9/2019. 

Thanks for letting us make it right and keep the item you received on us."

Slowly it dawned on me... there is a product headed to me that's mine for free and it could be anything. Literally, anything. It's J.J. Abrams' "mystery box" incarnate. It could be anything from a box of eggs to an 18th century violin. Someone I talked to suggested it may be a boat - that's not me speculating, "sources" are saying a free boat may be headed my way!

Now, it should be considered that the product that I ordered may be a clue to the product that I didn't order - and the thing I ordered was soda - but still, I find that our current age is defined by its endless possibilities and there is the feeling that anything is possible.

Amazon Delivery Guy Gets Artsy with the Delivery Photo

Recently my neighbors recently decided to cut down all the trees that lined the boundary of our yards. Were they damaged, were they ugly? No, they were quite lovely. And then one day a crew is outside taking them out. Was I consulted for my opinion? No, the point is we need stumps. Stumps are the key, stumps are life. Our yards are now separated by stumps and lifeless dirt.

But this is all backstory to what took place next.

I ordered new bed sheets on Amazon. As you're probably aware, Amazon's new thing is to confirm that the package was delivered by taking a photo of the box on your doorstep. If someone in the neighborhood steals your package and you say it never arrived, hey, look at this photo, it is visual proof that we delivered it - it arrived.

So the delivery guy who delivered my sheets decided to "pose" (I can't think of a better word) the package next to one of my new stumps. Like so:

If the stump had been anywhere approximating a good delivery spot, this would be fine, as far as it goes, I'd still question why it's positioned that way but it would be fine. But this is not the case. The stump photo is far, far away from the door - yet the door IS where I found my package eventually. Here's a map of the difference:

So here is the reality as I understand it. And I apologize for how ridiculous this sounds. A delivery guy, instead of taking the package to the porch and leaving it, takes it over to a tree stump and sets the package down next to the stump and takes a photo of it.... with the stump. Then he carries it back to the porch and leaves it by the door.

Why? Why any of this? Are the delivery people getting bored? Is he taking up photography as a hobby and he wanted to make it more artsy? Is so, I have to say the result is not very good (rule of thirds and all that). I don't get it, I can't fathom what kind of plot this is. I'm so confused and at this point I'm motivated to order more things from Amazon just to see what happens.

Guitar Hero 5 : Through the Looking Glass

A quick shoparound for "Guitar Hero 5" reveals that there is a glitch in the matrix large enough to drive a truck through - something that challenges all rules of logic which lie at the foundation of all civilized thought.

If you take out your Analytical Engine, lubricate the gears sufficiently, build up the proper steam and point it to www.bestbuy.com you will find that the game "Guitar Hero 5"(brand new, never used) is selling for $19.99. This is, in itself, not cause for alarm. However, the very same game used, is selling for $29.99. That's right - the game is worth more used than new.

What does it mean? If a game is worth more money used than new, that means that the moment you buy it it instantly increases in value by $10 (a 50% profit). Presumably, the term "used" implies that you have to take the game out and play it or it's not as valuable. Therefore if you wanted to play video games for a living all you need to do is buy as many copies of "Guitar Hero 5" as you can, play them each one by one and sell each copy for $10 more than you originally paid. It's a tough job but you really get a great sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.

If you buy "Guitar Hero 5" and are unhappy with it, and you wish to return it, what happens? They'll offer to give you your money back but that's a ripoff, they're trying to buy back the game for $10 less than it's worth. "Hey man," - you'll say to the Best Buy employee - "don't act like this thing isn't worth more money, this game is used. You owe me my original twenty bucks for the game plus 10 bucks for improving the game to a 'pre-owned' state."

And just in case you thought that we hadn't gone through the looking glass, that the Earth is still rotating on its axis, that pi is actually a constant and that this whole thing is just a big misunderstanding - that the old man Best Buy had made a mistake typing numbers into his abacus and that the fabric of our universe isn't pulling at the seams... Here's the Amazon.com listing:

[Click the picture for larger version]

Still not huddled naked in the basement? YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?! Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, technically it is a game but how does this taste on your Cocoa Puffs... here's the same game on GameStop:

God help us all.