Mr. T on Suddenly Susan (1996)

 

If you look up "average sitcom" in the dictionary, it's just a picture of "Suddenly Susan". No one remembers it, no one cares about it, but at the time, it was mildly successful. What I recall of it is that it has a conflict, the conflict is resolved and there are jokes.

Mr. T appears in two episodes, both in the first season - and plays two different characters. No one cares about any of this, so let's get to it...

In the first episode ("Hoop Dreams"), Susan joins a basketball team and is so successful that she forgets her friends and has to learn the value of teamwork or how not to be an awful person or something like that. What does this have to do with Mr. T? Nothing. Mr. T has nothing to do with the plot.

In a cutaway scene, Jack Richmond (Judd Nelson) - who is feuding with his mother in law - goes to get a massage. Instead of the normal masseuse, in walks Mr. T (courtesy of said mother in law) and we can tell by his demeanor that it will not be a soothing session.

It's a funny gag but that's all it is - it has nothing to do with the story and it's a scene that lasts a few seconds. And despite the mohawk and gold jewelry, Mr. T is not playing himself, he's playing the character of "Arnie".

In the second episode, Jack attends a high-stakes poker game with some high rollers. The other people at the game include Willie Brown (then Mayor of San Francisco), John McEnroe, President Donald Trump and Mr. T. These are all the real celebrities playing themselves.

Mr. T wearing a giant plate is unsettling. As far as I can tell, it's invented by the writers in order to set up a joke about looking at Mr. T's cards by reflection. It makes no sense and I can't figure it out. But more than that, he's barely recognizable with no hair or beard. This would be a complaint except we can deduce he probably lost all his hair in chemo treatments at this point. So, fair enough.

The star-studded table makes for some good gags. At one point someone makes a "I pity the fool!" joke and Mr. T barks, "That's not funny, that's old and hackneyed!"

The main oddity that gets me is that Mr. T has two appearances on "Suddenly Susan" and the one where he looks exactly Mr. T, he's Arnie and the one where he looks nothing like Mr. T, he's playing Mr. T.

But there is an even greater oddity in this second episode.

In the show, Jack loses his magazine in the poker game and the workers at the magazine don't like the new owner. So a contingent, led by Kathy Griffin, propose to create their own magazine. So they go to Donald Trump to raise funds (?) and try to woo him with this magazine cover:

 The caption reads "Our Next President?"