Jimmy Fallon : WTF

WHAT... IN.... THE ..... WORLD?!

Or should I say, "WHERE... IN THE... WORLD?!"

Either way, I just don't know.

Fun With Area Codes

It has become tradition that within the intro theme song of "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" the Roots insert the current episode number. Starting with (I think) episode #209 they started adding something else - they also say the city which has that number as its area code. So, #209 was "2-0-9 Modesto!" and show #210 went, "2-1-0 San Antonio!".

Tonight is significant. Tonight is episode #215 - my area code. Ought to be interesting to see if my town gets a shout out.

Late Night: Boring Interview

Coincident with my previous post which centers on quiet boredom, Jimmy Fallon and Ted Danson decide to reprise the famous (infamous) "Whittle Interview" with a new "Boring Interview". It's very much an "art piece" but I think it works. I like it.

Tip: Double click the clip to watch un-embedded so that you get the full wide-screen.

Boring Interview

Spring and Harry Kalas

"Yet seemed it winter still, and you away,
As with your shadow I with these did play." - Sonnet 98

By calendar, the first day of Spring happens on between March 19th and March 23rd ever year. And yet for me the exact day of Spring has no set appointment. Spring begins on a Saturday afternoon when it's 70 degrees out and sunny. It's warm but not hot and it's the first day you open the windows and let the occasional breeze sift through the house. The best thing on tv is baseball. But not just baseball, pre-season baseball. If one were to take everything boring about the game of baseball and then subtract from that all the excitement, would you would be left with would be pre-season baseball. Calling the game is Harry Kalas. His rich baritone and the humming white noise of the non-crowd suggest that it might feel good to rest your eyes for a bit... Slipping back into consciousness again after an indeterminate amount of time, it's the 6th inning... Harry Kalas: "Walked 'im..." and Dave Hollins strolls lazily to first base. Nothing to see here, eyes closed once again...

And so it was... the exact moment when Spring had begun for the year, every year. And every year, every single detail - aside from Dave Hollins - could be counted on and looked back upon in each of the specific instances from last year, to being a teenager in high school to being 8 years old watching with my dad.

When Harry Kalas passed away last year, people said his voice was the soundtrack to their Summer. These weren't just kind words, they were the literal truth. When people said, "It won't be Summer without Harry" it was just an expression, it is the exact predicament I find myself in. How do I feel that Spring is here?

"Well," I figured, "if I could find a clip on the internet of sufficient mundanity and length, I could watch it as self-therapy and link it for others." But, alas, to the best of my internet searching skills, no such clip exists. There are tons of Harry Kalas tributes, there's Harry calling Mike Schmidt's 500th homerun, there's Harry making the calling 2008 World Series call, etc. Those are not just good, they're great but they're the essence of Fall, not Spring. I need a clip of Harry making calls when nothing is on the line and nothing significant happens. I need the sound of sweet monotony, when everything is completely ordinary in every way, when Harry's voice is the aural equivalent of a hammock with a sinky middle and a glass of lemonade on the ground.

Here's hoping that sometime before next year someone uploads old Phillies game footage which is completely ordinary in every way. Until then it won't be the same. We may spend 99% of our lives avoiding the dull, avoiding the monotonous, alleviating boredom, and yet here I am wishing it back - at least in this small measure. I think it's because it offers some comforting illusions that become increasingly rare as one gets older. Hearing Harry Kalas call baseball on lazy, sunny Saturday afternoons, life isn't hard, life is easy. Things don't change, things basically stay the same. Life isn't short, life is long. Time doesn't move fast, time moves slow... if at all.

MARCH MADNESS

It's March Madness time again and it feels good. Other than Christmas this just be my favorite time of the year. Time to fill out the brackets and watch them all get blown up for great justice.

Click on the image below for the brackets:

Here are my picks:

First Round Winners:

Dog Plays Dead

Dog Says I Love You

Dog Spins on Applause

Dog Trims Tree (Upset)

Bug Eyed Lady

Woman Spits Gum, Sucks It Back

Lady Scratches Eyeballs (Upset)

and Man Squirts Milk Out Of Eye advances easily.

Round Two Winners

Dog Says I Love You (Upset)

Dog Trims Tree

Woman Spits Gum, Sucks It Back over Bug Eyed Lady in a huge upset

Man Squirts Milk Out Of Eye

Final Round:

Dog Says I Love You vs. Woman Spits Gum, Sucks It Back

Champion: Woman Spits Gum, Sucks It Back

As you can tell, this year I thought I would go out on a limb and take a few chances here but as I always say, "Go big or go home."

Vote for a new matchup each day here.

JAZZERCISE...

Last night the Late Show had Snoop Dogg on to do a Top Ten list ("Top Ten Things That Sound Cool When Spoken By Snoop Dogg").

Typical "Top Ten" list. Not really anything to write home about. I'm still embedding it here because the first minute of the clip shows Dave in the midst of tweeting. But it reminded me of possibly the best "Top Ten" list of all-time.... "Top Ten Things That Sound Romantic When Spoken By Barry White".

Observe:

One of the best Top Ten concepts ever. It doesn't matter how many times I see the clip, I ALWAYS laugh at #10 and #9. Classic, classic, classic.