At some point during his military career, a platoon sergeant started "throwing his weight around." He ordered Pvt. Mr. T to chop down trees on the base but failed to mention how many. Mr. T axed 70 trees in 3.5 hours before the company commander ordered him to stop.
A tall tale? The new Chuck Norris? A modern day Paul Bunyan? I sure don't know. But, reddit has already made the connection to other obscure Mr. T Tree lore (from Curbed Chicago):
Now, in honor of Curbed Outdoors Week, let's take a look back at one of the Chicago area's most infamous landscaping debacles: Mr. T's 1987 inexplicable destruction of more than 100 trees (actual tree counts vary) on the old Armour estate in Lake Forest...
...The home in question was built in 1910 for a banker named Orville Elias Babcock, and it was later occupied by meatpacking magnet[sic] Laurance Armour... In 1986, Mr. T (a Chicago native, by the way) bought the sprawling English Tudor estate for $1.7 million... Then, a year later, he went all Paul Bunyan on the hundreds of trees that filled his property. He even wiped out four 12-foot topiary trees that had been sculpted to represent birds in nests....
The papers called it the 'Lake Forest Chainsaw Massacre.' Arborists were stunned. And for his part, Mr. T never bothered to fully explain why he fired up a chainsaw and, alongside hired workmen, got busy clearcutting the oaks, elms and maples that populated his seven-acre estate...
So, I don't know, it seems that Mr. T hates trees. If we're looking to see if this can be added to the Mr. T Cinematic Universe, it maps to the S03E05 "A-Team" episode "Timber!" where the A-Team helps out a lumber company, but I don't know of any other connections.
So I was watching the cartoon "Mister T" (as you do) and in whatever particular episode I was watching they make a passing comment that Mr. T is scared of flying in airplanes. Alarm bells went off in my brain instantly. Being afraid of flying is a trait of the character B.A. Baracus in the fictional TV show "The A-Team," not the real person Mr. T. I wondered, "Why is the Mr. T character in "Mister T" (essentially a version of Mr. T) exhibiting the same traits as a fictional character played by Mr. T"?
Well that incident led me on a journey of discovery and although I don't think I've reached the end of the journey (will I ever?), I am here to release the fruits of my research. I am unveiling The Mr. T Cinematic Universe.
The Data
Figure 1.
Listed across the four columns of Figure 1 (above) are the specific traits that the Mr. T character displays in the MTCU. Each row represents one of the three major Mr. T television shows. Each row/column intersection cites the specific episode or episodes where each trait is expressed in that particular television series.
As you can see, and as the data shows, Mr. T hates flying, is accused of a crime he didn't commit, has a special connection with children and loves milk in ALL THREE TV series - except for one trait in one show. It's a very interesting exception and I will have to explore it in more detail some time. And... that time has come...
"Drink Your Milk, Billy"
Figure 2.
In the MTCU, Mr. T eschews alcohol and loves milk (Figure 2) and particularly in the 80's it was very important to convince kids to drink more milk (for some reason). So it would seem a foregone conclusion that one of the life lessons that "Mister T," a Saturday Morning Cartoon aimed at children, in the 1980's, that teaches life lessons, would evangelize would be "Be sure to drink your milk." It's so obvious that it requires no explanation - this was fated to be part of the very fabric of the show. Right?
It was even mocked on SNL in the famous "Stay in school, don't do drugs and drink your milk" skit.
This is what we remember: the "Mister T" told kids to drink milk, perhaps repeatedly - perhaps every episode?
But it's all a lie. It never happened. Somehow, Mr. T never endorses milk in "Mister T." Not once. Not ever. Question me if you like, watch any episode to prove me wrong, call it "The Mandela Effect" if you need to and you're of that persuasion, but it never happened.
Additional Data Points
We've already seen that Mr. T's three major Television series show a large amount of cohesion, but we can expand the data outward to various other works in the Mr.T oeuvre. Doing so, we sacrifice some cohesion but also expand the number of similarities and "coincidences". Here are a few examples. This list is not exhaustive.
Mr. T:
Is a Vietnam Vet: Mr. T plays a Vietnam Vet in "The A-Team" and the TV Movie "The Toughest Man in the World."
Is a Boxer:
"The Toughest Man in the World"
"Penitentiary 2"
"Rocky III"
"T&T" - Backstory
"Wrestlemania II"
"Out of This World" - S04E01
Has a Special Connection with Children (in addition to those in Figure 1):
"D.C. Cab"
"Diff'rent Strokes" - S06E01
"The Toughest Man in the World"
"Goldy 3: The Search for the Golden Bear"
"A Christmas Dream"
"Blossom" - S04E21
Has a Particularly Close Relationship with his Mom (in addition to Figure 1):
Is a Teetotaler/Loves Milk (in addition to Figure 1): Don Rickles jokes about the real Mr. T loving milk in "Dean Martin Celebrity Roast: Mr. T."
MTCU Heresies
Figure 3.
Though in the MTCU, Mr. T usually refuses alcohol and loves milk, in "The Toughest Man in the World" he mocks a man for drinking milk at a bar. It's uncanny.
Though Mr. T usually has a severe fear of flying, in the movie "Spy Hard," he plays a helicopter pilot (Figure 3).
Conclusion
So this is all the data but what does it all mean in the larger picture? Any two fictional characters can share any trait by coincidence but this number of coincidences over so many characters and media can not simply be dismissed.
I believe there are a few clues that point us toward a certain conclusion. The first clue is in the common Mr. T traits that I haven't bothered tracking. One could mention how often Mr. T plays a muscular person, has a mo-hawk hair style, wears gold chains, dresses distinctively, speaks gruffly, etc. but it seemed unnecessary. Obviously he can't completely change himself from character to character. Well, he can't change the muscles, but he could get a different hair style ("Martin" S05E05) and he could take off the chains... he could easily dress differently, in fact, we assume different fictional characters will.
The other clue is how many different levels of reality in which the characters exist. You may have noticed that most of the time the traits are exhibited in fictional characters, but I've snuck a few real life ones in there and there are some that are in a no-man's-land in between the two. In "Mister T," Mr. T is playing both a fictional character and himself - it's a fictional version of himself. When he boxes in "Wrestlemania II" it's really him but the outcome is pre-determined. When he shows up in "Blossom, he's entering a fictional world as himself. When Mr. T releases songs to teach kids lessons, can we say he's playing a role at least to some extent?
Mr. T being expressed in various levels of reality and the fact that we never bother to question his otherwise strange traits, it shows Mr. T's dual nature as real and imagined. Mr. T, the person, is such a larger than life "character," he blurs the line of reality. The real Mr. T is so interesting, the writers of fiction are forced to plagiarize just to keep up. The reason his characters love their mom is because he loves his mom. He plays a bodyguard in "Silver Spoons" and he was a bodyguard. He plays boxers, he was a boxer. In "T & T" he's a boxer turned lawyer - in real life his fighting got him sued over 200 times. He plays a wrestler, he was a wrestler. The "character" has a mo-hawk and chains because everybody knows Mr. T sports a mo-hawk and chains. How are you going to top that? In "Mister T" he plays a kids' gymnastics coach, he was at one point a gym teacher. He plays a veteran, he was in the military. He doesn't drink alcohol because he doesn't drink alcohol; he loves milk in the show, he loves milk for real (if Don Rickles is to be believed)...
Mr. T is such a unique character, the entertainment industry simply starts with the real person and uses that as a "jumping off point" to go from there to flights of fancy. He is typecast as himself. They can't create anything more interesting, how could they? And who can blame them? And at some point in the past, on some show or other, some executive said of a fictional character, "It's Mr. T so he's afraid of flying" and the character and the actor have become conflated in a new way, a mythology has been created. And what does the mythology do, what can it do, except build upon itself and evolve over time. But if the commonalities of the Mr. T Cinematic Universe can be explained by a Mr. T character mythology and if the basis of the mythology is actually the real person living among us, then the universe which we now know as "The Mr. T Cinematic Universe" is really our own.
