Post-Retirement David Letterman

Or... Santa. Or the fisherman killed by the sexy teens in a hit and run and they made a pact to never tell anyone.

Here's how naive I am... All those times Dave made those jokes about wearing a toupee, I thought he was just joking. I thought he just had bad hair so he made light of it by saying it was a toupee. It took me WAY too long to figure it all out.