Mr. T in Wrestlemania II

So I started watching Wrestlemania II, taking notes (as one does) but eventually realized that it was all vanity and grasping for the wind. So I stopped. I stopped because there was no way to make note of everything going on here. There is way too much of everything. WikiPedia notes that Wrestlemania II has been criticized as being "excessive." Yeah, it is. If you ever want to watch something that's "excessive" check out Wrestlemania II. I will try to focus on a few things.

In Wrestlemania II, I theorize that the WWF made a marketing decision to try to bring more female fans in by including more women into the event. Joining Vince McMahon on color commentary duties is actress Susan Saint James of "Kate & Allie" fame...

Other women included were Joan Rivers, Elvira, Cathy Lee Crosby and Clare Peller. "Who's Clare Peller?", you ask? She's the "where's the beef?" lady. Oh, yeah. And that's in addition to the women wrestlers.

I figured this was worth mentioning because it affects the Mr. T match, which was my focus. Not that it affects the outcome but the experience of watching it. Having Kate (or Allie) doing commentary gives the entire event a strange and unnatural chemistry.  I'll put it this way: when you think "professional wrestling commentary", the phrase "cute as a button" is probably not the first thing that comes to mind.

On to T...

After Wrestlemania I, the WWF got the idea to have Mr. T be a "WWF Boxer" and to have a rivalry with Roddy Piper, who you might remember wrestled against him in said Wrestlemania. So Wrestlemania II features a Mr. T v. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper boxing match.

Going into it, I was surely intrigued. I really couldn't figure out what I thought they would do: would they script a fake boxing match or just say boxing is simple enough, let's give everyone the real thing. Even more perplexing was what happened next. Watching the match, it really looked real to me - I couldn't be sure about what I was seeing. Either it's really easy to fake boxing or they let them really box within a scripted framework because it just looked like boxing for the first few rounds.

It wasn't until Round 4 that the situation became crystal clear to me and everyone else. In Round 4, Piper and Mr. T drop their arms to their side and trade haymakers back and forth like it's a "Rocky" parody. With the sheen of realism completely gone, Piper loses his temper, bodyslams Mr. T and it devolves into a sort of street fight. The referee stops the match and Mr. T wins as Piper is disqualified. 

Overall, I found it pretty impressive. I have to say I was really fooled for a while there and it was pretty entertaining. Though the concept was a failure and the WWF never tried boxing again.

Mr. T's Record Album

 In 1984, Mr. T released his own album of songs called "Mr. T's Commandments." At 30 minutes in length, Wikipedia calls it technically an EP.

The tracklisting is as follows:

"Mr. T's Commandment"

"Don't Talk to Strangers"

"The Toughest Man in the World"

"Mr. T, Mr. T (He Was Made for Love)"

"The One and Only Mr. T"

"No Dope No Drugs"

"You Got to Go Through It"

This is mostly the mid-eighties rap/funk that you'd imagine. My favorite track is the unexpectedly sultry and sensual "Don't Talk to Strangers." If you're with your girl and you're looking for music to set the mood, you gotta go with "Don't Talk to Strangers."

Notable is the fact that the "rap direction" (whatever that is) for the album was done by none other than Ice-T. If you were in on the studio sessions and you said, "Hey T, what are we doing on this track?" I wonder what would've happened.

Mr. T in Wrestlemania I

The main event of Wrestlemania I in 1985 was a tag team match: Hulk Hogan and Mr. T vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndoff. 

A few highlights:

One of the guest referees was Muhammad Ali of which Gorilla Monsoon remarks, "Muhammed Ali has been assigned as the outside referee which is just as important as the inside and maybe more so!" Nice try, marketing!

But then outside refereeing does come into play about mid-way through the match - if wrestlers leave the ring for a 10 count, they automatically get disqualified. Piper and Orndorff leave the ring for a full minute and eleven seconds and magically it's ignored and the match continues. You had one job to do, Ali!

Then there was one part of the match where Piper and Orndorff are completely waling on Hulk Hogan and taking turns, tagging back and forth so they can optimize their beatdown. Monsoon says, "The continuity being shown by the team of Piper and Orndorff - which really, I can honestly say I haven't seen yet on the part of the champ and Mr. T, maybe it's coming but - that continuity is so important if you want to be successful." I don't know exactly why but that tickled me. When someone is getting curb-stomped and you have to justify your job as commentator, talk about how the difference is "continuity."

Finally, a word about the refereeing. It really seemed to me that the refereeing on this match was terrible. Every time Mr. T tried to bend the rules, the referee was right on it but Piper's team was routinely breaking the rules completely unnoticed. Where is the fairness? It's pathetic. Train your referees better,  WWF!

That Time Webster went to Star Trek

 

Yes, this is an actual episode of Webster, edited down to only the Star Trek parts.

Mythbusters really missed a golden opportunity at a great myth here. Can a lightning strike while playing a computer game really beam one to the Star Trek Next Generation? And does pushing Up too far on the joystick really make a difference, as Webster claims?

Game Grumps - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Game

 

Mr. T on Saturday Night Live

Mr. T appeared on Saturday Night Live twice. In fact, imdb lists his two different appearances in two different sections of his page. He appeared in one episode in a "Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood" skit as well as "Mr. and Mrs. T Bloody Mary Mix" and then later co-hosted an episode along with Hulk Hogan to promote Wrestlemania I. Imdb lists his first appearance as "actor", they list his hosting of SNL as "self." I suppose that makes sense when you really think about it but it confused the heck out of me.

Mr. T's appearance on SNL is very typical stuff. There are a few things that stood out to me. I should mention that this is the Dick Ebersol era of SNL so it's the Christopher Guest, Billy Crystal, Martin Short, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, etc. cast. So that's the flavor.

First off, Mr. T and Hulk Hogan do the opening "monologue" and it looks like the picture above. Mr. T has made a career out of being a large guy, he's not tall, he's 5'11'' but he's big. It's amazing to me how small he looks next to Hulk Hogan. That guy really is giant.

The monologue is basically a wrestling promo. The only thing that stood out to me is they make a joke about the Richard Belzer incident. Maybe it's just hindsight or the fact that I'm from a weaker, wimpier era, but that seemed to me to be poor taste.

So then it's the skits... Mr. T appears in 3 skits and in all of them he's just playing Mr. T. Seems like this would be a chance for the writers to get creative and have him play against type but then again, it's possible they proposed that and he refused. This is the era of Mr. T being as serious as a heart attack.

Mr. T appears in "Mr. and Mrs. T Bloody Mary Mix" - a fake commercial where Robin Duke (made-up to look like Mr. T) and Mr. T sell bloody mary mix. According to Robin Duke, her repetition of "I pity the fool" in this sketch is what made "I pity the fool" is what really injected it into the mainstream and caused it to become T's official catchphrase. Oh, she did that? Call me skeptical.

The most famous sketch from the episode, and also one of the most famous SNL clips in existence, is "Fernando's Hideaway." In case you don't recall, you've probably seen it in the clip shows. It's the one where Billy Crystal improvs in a Spanish accent and Hulk Hogan and Mr. T struggle to maintain character and not break up. As the most famous Mr. T highlight, it's ironic that all traces of it seem to be erased from the internet. NBC: they do whatever they can to not make money.

So that's about it.

Fun Fact: The funniest Hulk Hogan SNL sketch, in my opinion, is the one that didn't have Hulk Hogan.